***Author's notes: I don't own the Avengers, anything Marvel property related, or any song lyrics involved in this story whatsoever. Sad day. ***
"Darcy are you even listening to me?" demanded the petite woman in front of her.
Snapping back to the present, Darcy scanned Jane trying to determine what she had been spouting at her.
"I'm sorry, Jane. I'm a freaking zombie today. Couldn't sleep very well last night and all the coffee in the world isn't seeming to work." Darcy replied, pushing the fatigue way momentarily.
"I was trying to ask you if you had seen Thor, we were supposed to meet for lunch but I haven't seen him since we left our apartment this morning." she quipped.
Annoyance seeped into Darcy, as much as she tried to push it away. That was all she needed? Since moving into the Stark Tower with the Avengers at Jane's request her life had been constantly revolving around those around her. "Maybe I should have moved in with the rest of the off site SHIELD agents?" she thought to herself. Not like she could have afforded it, as those charged rent as opposed to her living quarters in the tower. She was here to shuffle paperwork and make sure Jane remembered to be human, but since Thor had been back she hadn't needed to worry about the last part. Sharing a wall with Jane let her know that Jane was indeed acting like a human... multiple times a days. At least she didn't chastise her about the music she blasted in response. Dragging her thoughts from the cushy bed in her apartment she took a deep breath and leveled her voice.
"I saw him go into a meeting this morning with Wonderboy and the Green Giant", she attempted to keep up with her normal level of chipper humor to make Jane go away.
"Well that's great, if Fury is in there they will be in there for hours. Unless Steve and Tony get into again, though I would rather not have to deal with the construction crew again. I guess I'll see you Monday then, I have to go pack for my flight to see Erik. Have a good weekend Darcy!" Jane threw walking out the door. Leaning back in her chair, Darcy sighed and attempted to get back to work.
After enough time passed for Jane to well out of earshot Darcy liberated her Ipod from the depths of her purse. Popping in the little buds and pressing play, she prayed this was one of those days where shuffle could read her mind. Didn't seem like that was gonna be her luck today as the cooing of Arctic Monkeys flooded through the speakers. Shutting of her computer and ripping out the earbuds, she grabbed her purse and shut off the lights deeming that the day was a bust. Walking the steps to her apartment she tried to ignore the cheerful conversations around her, deciding against ordering food so the vodka she had left at home could actually have an effect. The meeting had apparently ended as the stream of people walking by included the avengers, minus Thor who must have gone to meet Jane somewhere for food.
"Darce, come party with us! It's the anniversary of the Battle of New York, we're gonna go have drinks and Shwarma around 8. There's bound to be something a rabbit can eat there." Tony teased.
Ignoring the taunt at her veganism, Darcy shook her head faking a headache. She really did not want to be around be around people, let alone drunk Avengers.
Tony just cocked an eyebrow and let her pass by, making note that he needed to warn Jarvis to monitor her apartment. As bubbly as Darcy normally was, he could tell something was up when he didn't get a snarky comeback from mentioning her eating habits. Not that he cared about them, Bruce was a vegan as well, something about the environment and speciesm or some crap like that. At least they didn't try to take away his stakes or bitch about the community kitchen. Something was up with her, but he knew she wouldn't discuss it until she damn well pleased. He knew too well from past experience.
Finally closing the door to her apartment, Darcy threw her bag down and walked to the kitchen grabbing the bottle of clear liquid from the cabinet.
"Hey Jarvis, can you turn on my video playlist from youtube? The one with Soil, Soil by Tegan and Sara on it, I feel like being mopey." Darcy requested of the AI.
"As you wish miss. Should I order your normal from the Chinese restaurant down the street?" Jarvis suggested, and Darcy knew he was trying to help alleviate her poor mood.
"Maybe later, Jarvis. Thank you." Darcy sighed, cranking up the volume on the TV. Crumpling on her couch she sipped her glass with a frown. Studying the space around her, she marveled at how much the space screamed Darcy, but yet seemed so distant to her. Void were photos of her childhood, they had been the first be removed after the accident. Everything around her was current, telling of her life here with Jane and the Avengers. Sure they were all good people, she had made friends with all of them making sure they understood she was friends with them because of the humans (or gods) they were, and not their "supers". She was careful not to reveal too much about her past, though she knew it couldn't go on forever. Natasha had to know what happened, but was careful to not mention it to any of the others and understood she wasn't ready to discuss it. Pulling her hair down from its torture device she cringed at the notion of coming to terms with what happened. Downing the rest of her drink and moving to pour another, she allowed her poor mood to stew and attempted to watch the My Chemical Romance video in front of her. Though she had a very eclectic taste in music she felt the harder the better tonight and switched it Seether. Stuck in the 90's and early 00's always got her flack from Tony, who perpetually had 80's rock playing in his lab. They could at least bond over a few crossovers, and have spent quite a few hours listening to Nirvana and AC/DC while tossing music knowledge back and forth.
Letting the music wash over her for some time she retreated back in her head, glancing at the half empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. She had been right to forgo dinner, and had drunk quickly enough to bypass the buzz and go straight to drunk.
"Take the light, and darken everything around me. Call the clowns and listen closely, I'm lost without you" started echoing through the speakers as Darcy flinched.
"Jarvis, why is this still on my playlist? I told you to remove it from everything I own!" She screamed.
"I'm sorry, miss. I am removing it now." the AI quickly replied.
That was it though, all it took for the crying to start. The song was marked, marked by the phone call she received on the day exactly a year ago. Why didn't she stop them? Why didn't she tell them to visit her instead. Why couldn't they be evacuated in time?
"Why?" She yelled to the empty apartment throwing her glass at the wall. She had already grabbed the nearest object to throw before the glass marked the floor. Throwing the chunk of amethyst at the TV it burst out with a shower of sparks. Music still spread through the surround sound as she pulled herself from the couch, knocking the precious vodka bottle to the floor. Darcy stumbled and saved the bottle to the floor, downing as much as she could before throwing it against the wall with enough force to knock a hole in the sheet rock. She turned to the rest of her apartment, searching for the next thing to destroy.
"Sir, it appears Miss Lewis is in need of assistance." Tony heard from his earpiece.
"Thank you Jarvis, I'm on my way back now". He replied.
"Sir, you may want to keep on your suit." the AI suggested.
"What is going on Tony?" Steve asked after overhearing the conversation.
"Something is up with Darcy and I asked Jarvis to keep an eye on her tonight. Seems like her mood may have gotten destructive judging by what Jarvis said. She'd make Hulk quake in his boots when she's angry, no telling what she'd do when she's depressed." Stark explained.
"I'll go for backup, might need a sober person there. Meet you at the tower shortly." Steve stated, starting his goodbyes. Natasha raised a eyebrow in understanding, hoping this meant the young woman would start the grieving process. She gave a pat to the Captain, turning to Clint with a look that said she would tell him about what was going on once everyone left. The truth had finally bubbled to the surface.
"Which floor does she live on, Stark?" Steve asked walking into the elevator.
"Same floor as you, Cap. You didn't notice the blasting music on a daily basis?" Tony asked.
"I honestly thought that was construction." Steve embarrassingly admitted, pressing the button for the 70th floor.
"I'll make sure to tell her someone else thinks her music sucks. Perhaps later though..." he trailed off listening to the blasting music at the door, emo music never being a good sign. Steve joined him at the door to her apartment, giving him a look.
"Early 2000's music was a bit uh...interesting", Tony stated while typing in a master code to her door, "Don't think she'll hear us knock."
Neither man knew what to expect when the walked in the door, but immediately went on alert when they saw bloody footprints on the floor.
"Jarvis stop the music, Darcy where are you? It's Tony and Steve, Jarvis sent us a message saying you might need us." Tony cautiously told to the air.
"Traitor!" They heard Darcy scream from the other room. They ran over to the room to find her in the fetal position on her bed, bloody feet staining her bedding.
"Darce what is going on? Why does it look like Banner had a temper tantrum in your living room?" Tony attempted to joke through the situation, leaning in to try to get a better view of her feet and recoiling slightly as the strong smell of alcohol hit his nostrils. Steve moved in, and ignoring her drunken protests, picked up the small woman.
"Banner is still in his lab, correct?" Steve remembered he was working on a project and politely declined Tony's demands of going to the bar.
" Yeah, we better get her over. Looks like she has some spots on her feet that are gonna need stitches. She's not gonna feel pretty once the alcohol wears off, that's for sure." Tony frowned.
Ignoring her drunken cries to leave her alone, Steve started walking toward Banner's lab wondering what could have made Darcy blow up this way. This Darcy was so much different than the cheerful, sassy woman that was a common presence around the tower. What has she been keeping from everyone that has made such a strong person break? They were almost to Banner's lab when she started crying again, muttering to herself.
"It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault they're dead. I couldn't save them. If I would just have..." Darcy whispered.
"Darce, it's gonna be ok. We're gonna help you. You have to let us is though, we won't be able to help unless you let us in." He spoke into her hair, ignoring the smell of the vodka coming off her and trying to remember some of the techniques Sam would use in his therapy sessions.
"But it's my fault they're dead. All my fault." She wailed.
"Darce I don't think you could kill anyone, maybe taze them, but not kill. Who are you talking about?" he persuaded.
"My family. My family is dead because of me. My mom, my dad, my little brother. I told them they needed to visit New York. I bought their tickets with my first SHIELD paycheck. I was supposed to meet them, but they shipped Jane and I off to the Netherlands. I never got to say goodbye" she admitted quietly, purposely not looking at him. Suddenly everything made sense. How had they not known, why did SHIELD not tell them? Had anyone even gone to their funeral with her? Poor amazing Darcy was forced to endure this burden alone, the survivor's guilt ripping her apart.
"Oh, Darce." Steve whispered and he crossed the threshold to Banner's lab, knowing that is was just the beginning.
***Constructive criticism is welcome, honestly this is my first serious fanfic. The only other one on my profile I wrote when I was 13 and stopped when I received some death threats because of it. Not that I took them seriously, I just didn't wanna deal with it. I'm gonna try to find a beta reader, and do some googling cause it's been a looooong time since I've had to worry about punctuation is speech. (looks off to me). Well I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter, I'll try to get the next out shortly.***