In the middle of the improvised Christmas dinner in the Murder Room, listening to Brenda's high-pitched laughter, Andy suddenly felt the touch of Sharon's hand on his right thigh. A short soft caress, and then another one while she kept chatting with Tao and Dr. Morales across from her. He dapped his mouth with the napkin and let his hand drop until it found hers and their fingers entwined. She still didn't miss a beat in her conversation and he marvelled at her composure. Her fingers closed tightly around his. They stayed like that for the rest of the evening; Provenza too engrossed in his discussions with Willy Rae to notice.
Inwardly, Sharon smiled. They had talked about spending Christmas together, for the first time ever. But then his ex-wife had offered that he'd drive by after dinner and drop off the presents and her kids had asked her to come out to Park City, and Emily had been so insistent, and so they had agreed to spend the days apart. She had been excited to see her children and her parents, had been looking forward to skiing and spending time in the little cottage in front of the open fireplace, surrounded by her loved ones and the comforts of family. She knew just how precious the invitation was for Andy in his attempt to reconnect with his children. It would have been the first time in many years that he would have gotten to see them at Christmas. Her hand tightened around his at the memory of his joy at having been invited, and she felt his thumb drawing lazy circles on her wrist in response.
Suddenly she longed to be able to lean against him, look into his eyes and cup his face with her hand, feel the stubble that had grown in the past hours. Right here, in public, in front of their friends. Well, in front of his friends, she mentally corrected herself. How she longed to be able to show her emotions just like Fritz and Brenda had earlier. Andy's arm around her, holding her close as he laughed, making her feel like she truly belonged here.
Buzz asked Andy to pass on a dish to Gabriel and he let go of her hand. Suddenly her fingers felt empty, started fiddling aimlessly. His leg touched hers ever so gently and soon his hand was back on her thigh, warm and waiting to be held. She relaxed.
xx
Sharon found a place for the gnome near her Christmas tree – it looked decidedly out of place among her many angels. But she kept it there anyway. She had felt out of place at that Christmas dinner, but the Johnsons had been nothing but warm and inviting. In the spirit of the season, conversations had flown easily without any of the snide remarks she usually faced and she had begun to understand what Andy saw in his squad.
In her bedroom she changed into her favourite woollen wraparound dress, Andy's present for her last birthday. She revelled in the luxurious feel of the cashmere against her bare skin and tied the small sash with care, remembering how he had slowly pulled it open declaring it the dresses best feature. She was inclined to agree with him.
Still caught in her memories she brushed her hair out and reapplied a softer, gentler version of her make-up slowly turning into Sharon after a long day as the Captain. She liked the woman who was looking back at her from the mirror, happy, at peace, free to just be. She stretched out on the couch with a yawn and closed her eyes for a moment, slowly drifting off to sleep.
That was how Andy found her when he quietly opened the door half an hour later, taking off his shoes and depositing his small bag near the hallway table.
"Sweetheart," he whispered as he knelt down and touched his lips to hers. "Merry Christmas, my love."
Fin.