Swept

by Now Magazine

This write-up is solely a project test of my writing skill, coupled with the experiences of my days so far. I will present to you, characters who are fictional, but somewhat real. Inspired by the lifestyles of real people that I have met over time. You see, most people would like to tell their stories but they don't know how. My job is to do so for them.

INTRODUCTION

To begin, I must explain and demonstrate my character so that you may understand my point of view. I'm not going to go through my childhood life or my married life but, I will discuss my present situation in story form. Where I'm at, is a place that is conspicuous, unchartered, and indefinitely a grief alley. I cannot say that I am in a pit or pool because I'm not sitting still. Moreover, my job is residing as the main focus in my life. Whether I'm working or off, it seems all I can focus on is keeping my schedule. This time last year I was homeless. May 2nd, I checked into a shelter and began employment again. I really liked my job and I was always eager to go to work. I appreciated the opportunity to work for a huge corporation where I have recieved bonuses and periodical raises from time to time, not even based on my performance, but just because I am an associate. May 11th, this year, will make a year that I have been working there. It will be my first time having a paid week of vacation on any job. But I have a dysfunction which is creating a problem.

The downside is that my heart is awaiting Mr. Right because I desperately desire someone positive and supportive; and the man that I am dating is indeed not that man, (seems to always be the case). My soul is convicted of adultery, fornication, and misguided emotions, due to my inability to use the facts to make an immediate change. My emotions, right now, are tumbling towards a request for rest and relaxation. I'm numb. Who says I can't control the things around me which hinder me from being successful in what I am trying to accomplish? The first thing is, that I fully understand now, the agony of keeping negative persons in my atmosphere. It's a draining lifestyle, but when does a woman decide to develop some energy? Obviously when she has already allowed things to go too far. You see the things we hold onto that we really shouldn't, become a burden eventually. I have just never seen an ad in the classifieds containing someone seeking a burden, or a hole in the head.

Then, oh Heaven's to Betsy, there are the complications of children, my sons should I say, which I love to death. I never had a daughter because I know God knew I wasn't cut out to raise a girl, given my life as a female had, and has been such a living hell, so far. In fact, I've already experienced the death of a child. Yes, I had to bury my eldest son, 23, due to a "from birth" congenital heart defect. April 13, makes 4 years. The middle boy was raised by the father and his family from his age being 1 years old until he graduated from High School, which was the first time he and I met, not counting the birth. That is so weird because I have alot of male friends whom have been tormented with the absence of their offspring, and I was a mother going through the same ordeal as men. Then there's the youngest of the 3, who refuses to work, but expects to have things, and who seems to just not move fast enough to accomplish something. But, you know the characteristics of the statistics on the "Baby" kid. I know that the Good Book says "If a man don't work, he don't get to eat!", so I consistently force him to adjust to tough love. Am I wrong? Time will tell! He will either become employed or starve it out.

In 1998, I sighned a record label contract, and became a "Rapper" who could actually sing. Been singing since the womb, I think. I never did, not sing until now. I sang in the Baptist church choir and the school choir ever since I could remember. It always came naturally. In and passed my High School days, from talent shows, others compared me to Whitney Houston, Lauren Hill then Erykah Badu. As a rapper, I was compared to Mia X, whom is, at this time, in need of all prayers due to Breast cancer. I, too, am currently awaiting scheduling for a biopsy to determine if I have it. Meanwhile, I love to create. From documents, poetry, and short stories, to exotic bathing suits, sales catalogs, and being a certified, (residential, industrial, commercial and marine), electrician. I'm actually in a 1% bracket of women existing in that field, here in "The Boot". I have been a success at every plan that I devised. That is, except within the realms of inter-personal relationships, irregardless of the type. I think most of it is due to my being a mother to my "grown-up" sons, and how I deal with them; when someone does something that I chastised my kids about, the mother in me, steps up and repremands that individual. Not out of judgement, but out of my love towards Human Beings.

I'm a noted compassionate person, analytical thinker, high-strung though self-controlled mediator, goal-oriented, and spiritually connected to the CORRECT power source. I am very detailed and can carry out extreme instruction. As a motivational speaker, I yearn to express the truths of consistently putting a foot towards the right road daily. How do you do that though? Well, I'm sure, from my personal view of things, that it may be accomplished by first, acknowledging RIGHT, and recognizing WRONG asap. You see, as soon as you recognize wrongs' presence; which may come in the form of some earthly distraction; or it may pass u by with an aroma which causes you to follow: Never-the-less, one must use his/her capabilities to quickly decipher, so that he/she may make a turn from WRONG to RIGHT, so fast it makes 'em stop on a dime and recieve nine cents in change.