Author(s)' Note: Hey, look! The sequel is here... Though only 3 of us will be writing. The other thought this was too cancerous.
Chapter 1 - "Auhs"
"For Rent: Abandoned Store: 200 smash coins a week."
The sign said as Dedede put it up.
It's one week since all those incidents have happened.
"Better get away from this place and it's bad luck."
Suddenly, Ness appears from the corner from the store.
"I'd like to rent the store for an idea I got while showering."
Ness hands Dedede 600 coins for the next three weeks.
Dedede inhales and says, "Boy, where did you get these?"
"My dad."
In a flashback Ness was explaining, Ness received his money from an ATM machine.
"That's a lot of money!" Said Lucas.
"Yeah. My dad gave it to me. Don't your parents give you money?"
"Bye Ness!" Said Lucas, holding back tears.
In the current world, Dedede said, "So that's how."
"Yep."
"What's your idea?"
"A chips-dipping-in-coffee shop called "NessLays"."
"Oh."
"Yep."
"I'll give you the keys and leave now. My auhs hurts."
Dedede starts waddling away, while four meters away, Ness suddenly asks.
"What's auhs?"
"Oh, nothing kid, you're too young."
"Hey! I'm thirteen!"
Ness then tries reading Dedede's mind but it was no use.
Later, Ness was moving in a sofa chair into the store. Lucas suddenly enters the store.
"Hiya Ness."
"Please don't say that."
Ness then remembers something important.
"Lucas, what is auhs?"
"Oh boy, you don't know? Ha!"
Ness tries reading Lucas's mind, but he has already run off, away from the 1 meter distance he can read.
After three hours, Ness finished arranging his store.
"Now, this store's open!"
After waiting for a few hours, someone finally walks in.
"Hi." said Villager. "Is this a chip company or a coffee place? Nobody can tell from the brand name or something."
"It's a chip-dipping company place."
"Oh."
"You dip your chips in coffee."
"Oh, okay! I get it now."
Villager goes up to the counter.
"Here's the menu!"
"Huh."
Villager thinks for a while and says, "I actually just wanted to greet you."
"Oh."
"Bye."
"Wait, what's auhs?"
But it was too late, nobody wanted to tell him what auhs meant.
"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to." Villager replied
Ness then went out into the wild to find the true meaning of auhs.
He visited the mansion, finding Fox and Toon Link arguing.
"What's up, guys? And what's auhs?" Asked Ness.
"Ugh. Get away identity creep." Said Fox to Toon Link.
"Why? What's wrong?" Toon Link said while snickering.
"You're a goddamn furry if you try to dress up like me."
"Haha! Look at that soft fur! Mmm!" Said Toon Link.
"I'll leave you two now to your dress-up game." Said Ness.
"This is not called dress-up, it's called cosplaying. This furry right here isn't taking it seriously, his gun isn't in the right scale." Said Fox.
"It doesn't matter." Said Toon Link.
"Yes, it does."
"No."
"Yes."
"It doesn't matter for now. Let's just dress up!" Said Ness.
"Okay! Who are you gonna be?"
"I don't know, and I don't even know why I want to join so I won't. by the way, what's auhs?"
"RUN! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT AUHS IS!" Yelled Fox.
Instead of running, they just moved a meter away from him and they continued their argument.
"Why won't anyone tell me what it means?"
"GUYS, WARIO'S SHOWING HIS AUHS AT THE WARIOCON!" Yelled Falco.
It was only then he realized that everyone except him was cosplaying, though most are only wearing their palette swaps.
Ness then sadly went back to his restaurant.
As he went back, he saw Link pass by.
"HAH! HYAAH!" ( Hey, sup? You coming to WarioCon?)
"I wasn't invited. So I guess not."
"AAHH!" (Why not host an event instead?)
"I am, but nobody signed up to perform yet."
Suddenly, Dedede appeared out of nowhere.
"I'd join!"
"Okey."
"Why aren't you at the con?" Asked Ness.
"Nobody came with me." Said Dedede.
Later that night, the event was hosted. Not many came, as most went to WarioCon. Those who did attend were still wearing their cosplays.
"So this one's a song you haven't before, here's Dedede with his new song he created in fifteen minutes, it's called "Sheik Your Auhs". I don't know what auhs means but anyway, here's Dedede."
Everyone applauded, then silence.
-- Sing-A-Long Time! --
Auhs, Zeldee, auhs, Zeldee, your auhs is rounder than a Smash ball
I fantasize, lot dirtier than a Sonic fanfiction.
You are much hotter and taller than the lava in Norfair
Yes, I'm Donkey, here with Diddy and you're getting a thumbs up
Yup, I've got a gun bigger than Falco's ol' blaster, stronger than that lil' Mii Gunner
I want you smothered, and covered in my big Dedede arms
Hard just for you like Yoshi, just like Ness's NessLays's sales, I'm inclined
To make me rise my Big D burly to the top of the tier list
Fox and smash, Zeldee, yeah, that's what we'll do-o
Sheik your auhs, Zeldee, just like the taunt of Wario-o
Fox and smash, Zeldee, yeah, that's what we'll do-o
Sheik your auhs, Zeldee, just like the taunt of Wario-o
Wood, the thing I have that makes Villager jealous
You make me feel electrified just like your sweetspotted Lightning Kicks
Wet, just like in your deep, deep water levels, I wannabe there, with lit-tle waddle dees
But I heard your seas are strong so I got me Tetra's boat
I will ride you high in my big ol' Halberd ship
So prepare yourself, because I cannot lose you
Game on. Yes, want some because my eggplant's not for ice
My massive purple Pikmin will burrow in crevice
Fox and smash, Zeldee, yeah, that's what we'll do-o
Sheik your auhs, Zeldee, just like the taunt of Wario-o
Fox and smash, Zeldee, yeah, that's what we'll do-o
Sheik your auhs, Zeldee, just like the taunt of Wario-o
Everyone sat there silently, but as soon as Dedede started to leave, everyone started clapping.
"Look at that soft-hearted song!" Said Fox.
Zelda sat there in shock, but a good kind of shock.
"SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT AUHS IS!" Screamed Ness.
Everyone proceeded to dash out the doors.
Ness was then left alone in his messy, dark and empty diner.
"At least, Olimar ate the fried pikmin. I wonder if he knew."
Screaming was heard that night in Olimar's room. Little did he know, it was actually Little Tubby who was fried.
How was that possible? The lotion either wore off or the authors decided to take matters into their own hands.
The next day, Ness was still confused about just what exactly auhs was. Just as he was going around to ask people, Pit approached him.
"It's simple, it's just Shua backwards."
"What is Shua?"
Author(s)' Note: I wasn't the one who wrote the new song lyrics. Ask WolfieJones about it.