Let's get to the summary, disclaimer, and other stuff.
Summary: A girl finds a way to Alagaësia somehow, so she can tell Galbatorix why he has mental problems. (Mary Sue bashing included)
Disclaimer: Christopher Paolini owns Galbatorix, and any other Inheritance characters I mention somehow. Anything else you see and realize from a T.V. show is owned by the creator and stuff. The only thing I own are my annoying characters and the random crap I make up.
Warning: This story is T for a reason. Some of the jokes in the story are from various teammates of mine, and they tend to be totally outrageous with their jokes sometimes. So basically, some of this stuff may offend you. So proceed with caution. I don't want to hear some person bitching about how I am racist, and worship Satan.
With this, I'll continue with my story. Enjoy.
This is the saga...er, maybe not saga, story fits better, of one girl and her quest to cure a king of his insanity. Well, she tried, but actually made the guy crazier. Oh well.
This girl went by the name of Salacia. She was a typical high school student. You know the ones with their iPods, cell phones, and other crap that high school students have. Along with that, she was a swimmer on the high school swim team. You know, one of those weird kids that smells like chlorine all the time!
So one day after school, Salacia decided to skip swim practice one day to go to the library with her friend Caprice, to find this book that Caprice wanted her to read.
"What is the book called, again?" Salacia asked with a yawn.
Practice was really stupid that morning. I mean who in the hell wants to swim 2 miles in the morning? I certainly don't. WHAT, I AM SWIMMER TOO. IS THAT A CRIME? HUH? HUH? That's what I thought. Anyway, she was really tired/irritable. Salacia really just wanted to go home.
"Eragon," Caprice answered.
"This book better not suck like most of the crap you make me read," Salacia said.
Caprice was known to make Salacia check out books that Caprice liked. Salacia wasn't really into reading romance crap. She was into action and adventure. Not a guy and girl making out. Salacia put her feet up on the table and crossed her arms.
"Whose Eragon?" Salacia asked.
"The main character in the book," Caprice replied.
"Eragon sounds like a queer name." Salacia stated.
"You have a queer name," Caprice said with a laugh.
"HEY! That's not funny," Salacia shouted.
"SHHHHHHH!" the librarian commanded. "and take your feet off that table girl!"
Salacia pouted and removed her feet from the table. She was in such a comfortable position, and there was no way she could find another one!
"Good job, Salacia, you are going to get us kicked out of the library," Caprice warned.
"At least you weren't in a comfortable sitting position and then some lady with a cane up her ass told you to put your feet on the floor!" Salacia replied.
Caprice started at Salacia with a dumbfounded look for some time and then went back to looking at the bookshelf for the book. While Caprice was looking, Salacia started moving around in the chair she was sitting in to find a comfortable position.
Caprice turned around to tell her friend that she had found the book, and instead found her friend fidgeting around it her seat.
"What ARE you doing, Sal? Caprice exclaimed.
Salacia looked up at Caprice and crossed her arms. "What does it look like? That stooopid lady made me uncomfortable so I am trying to find a comfortable way to sit,"
"How did you make to your sophomore year of high school?" Caprice asked.
"Shut up." Salacia said. "...did you find that book yet?"
"Yes, I did," she stated, and gave the book to her.
"What the hell kind of story is this?" Salacia commanded.
"This boy named Eragon finds this stone that actually is a dragon egg. So, it hatches, but he has to hide from this guy named Galbatorix, so he doesn't make him pledge to him. So he trains with this guy named Brom, and then other crap happen and I don't want to give the book away," Caprice explained.
"If you add another letter to Brom you spell broom," Salacia giggled.
Caprice responded by slapping her forehead.
---
Later on that night, Salacia began reading the book.
"I hope this isn't as bad as that book Gigli," Salacia thought and shuddered.
After that thought, she opened the book to first page.
"Awwww, a prologue! This sucks. The book is already long enough, so why the hell is there a stupid prologue." Salacia whined.
After whining and pouting for 5 minutes, she began reading.
"Prologue, Shade of Fear. HAHA a Shade of Fear. I have a shade of fear for you. BLACK," Salacia exclaimed.
After laughing about the stupid joke, that really wasn't a joke, she actually began reading the book. At the point where the Ancient Language was used, she tended to make fun of it or just plain shout out "WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! SPEAK ENGLISH DAMNIT! You do speak in english throughout the book, so why can't you speak english in all of the damn booook!"
After two or three hours, she called Caprice on the phone.
"Caprice!" Salacia greeted.
"Salacia, it's 3 in the morning," Caprice said groggily.
"I figured out why Galbatorix is so mean!" Salacia exclaimed.
"Why is he so mean, Salacia?" Caprice asked.
"He has a queer name." Salacia stated.
"Did you call me just to tell me that?" Caprice asked dumbfounded.
"Yes," Salacia asserted.
"Go to bed," Caprice commanded and hung up.
That night, Salacia stayed up and read the rest of the book. When she was finished, she decided upon the thing she was destined to do. No, it wasn't to go eat a mountain of food, or trip over the laundry basket by her bed. It was what she was about to state herself.
"I need to go to Alagaësia!" Salacia exclaimed.
Then she got out her iPod and started dancing around like the commercial. EXACTLY LIKE THE COMMERCIAL. You know, with the black person with the white iPod, and the purple background. AND ALL THE BREAKDANCING.
Short, yes, I know. I mean, come on, its the first chapter. It's not like its the 095580th chapter of the story and we are at this really steamy part when the girl and guy are about to kiss. :gets a bad image in her mind: EWWW, now I am scarred for life.
Don't forget to give me some reviews, guys. Oh come on, you know you want to gimme some reviews.