(A/N: Helloooooooooooooooo! I's back with dis spiffy new story! Woots! Umm...I should finish Expletives but I needs a break...Pweese enjoy!)
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT A NARUKO FIC! I hate those, seriously! It's Sasu/Naru all the damn way! They fall for each other as MALES, I promise!!! Okay, commence, readage!
--Start--Teh--Madness!--
There were some days when Naruto felt like he was born the wrong gender…
Sure, he loved being a dude. The penis was like his favorite body part! You could piss with it, (which he loved) embarrass Sakura with it, (which he also loved) and best of all…jack off with it! (which he had absolutely no words for…yeah, that awesome...) So yeah, the penis friggin' rocks and Naruto wouldn't trade his for anything in the world!
Well…that is until he realized that he had fallen…
In.
Love.
With.
A.
Boy.
And not just any boy…
Sasuke Uchiha. His former team mate and best friend.
Oh piss...
After getting to know Sasuke more and more and spending time with the broody individual, Naruto discovered that Sasuke didn't exactly hate him as he had once believed. Hell, he seemed to be the only one that Sasuke actually tolerated, despite Sasuke's extreme popularity in the village. The whole betrayal thing hadn't damaged his fanbase at all…In fact he seemed more popular than ever due to the new level of danger he had acquired from his missing nin rep. That aside, Naruto had deduced that if he was tolerated by Sasuke, then Sasuke had to like him to some degree. Upon further investigation of this topic, Naruto realized that he was one of few people who could make the Uchiha actually smile. If he made Sasuke smile, Sasuke obviously had to have some sort of affinity with Naruto. With the knowledge that Sasuke was one of the most hetero males in Konoha fresh in his mind, Naruto got to wondering…
If he was a chick…could Sasuke possibly love him back?
The very notion itself seemed ridiculous at first…but the more Naruto toyed with the idea the better it sounded. That's why one morning while Naruto was admiring his reflection in his bathroom mirror after a particularly long shower, he began to notice just how feminine the curves of his face actually were. In fact, he wouldn't have to do much at all to look like a girl in all honesty…
The plan was simple. Naruto would befriend Sasuke as a female, make him fall in love with him, and eventually marry the stoic Uchiha and have his man-babies! Okay, the last part wasn't very well planned out, but the main idea was there! Naruto was going to make Sasuke fall for him…no matter what!
--Wow--What--A--Retard--
As he went over his plan more and more in his head, Naruto began to think that perhaps his typical female counterpart was a little too Naruto-ish, if the scarred cheeks, sky blue eyes, and bright blonde hair was of any indication…That being said, Naruto decided the scars definitely had to go…and blonde hair was a little too obvious as well…Besides, part of the point of this little venture was that Sasuke would fall in love with Naruto's personality, rather than his looks.
Keeping the word "subtle" imprinted into his mind (Could that be a "The World Ends With You" reference, per chance?) Naruto watched himself in the mirror as he prepared to begin his sexy jutsu.
"Okay…focus…subtlety…subtlety…"
Shutting his eyes tight in concentration, Naruto formed the handsigns for his patented jutsu and allowed the transformation to commence. After hearing the notorious "Poof!" noise his jutsu typically made, Naruto held his breath and waited for the jutsu's mist to clear.
As he stared into the mirror expectantly, Naruto realized happily that all of his altered sexy jutsu training had not been in vain. Looking back at him in the mirror was a teenage girl with long brown hair, wide blue eyes, and smooth unmarred cheeks. Her face was pretty, but not overly pretty, and her body was average but attractive. All in all, Naruto thought he was utterly unrecognizable.
"WOOHOOOOO!" He yelled in a husky, feminine voice, pumping his fist excitedly into the air. Naruto stared at himself a little more closely in the mirror, before deciding that his disguise was absolutely flawless. No one would ever recognize him like this. "Alrighty! Phase two!"
He walked over to his bed and got down on his hands and knees. He reached underneath his bed to pull out a small box, and opened it cautiously. The cardboard flaps soon revealed a small collection of women's clothing that Naruto had secretly been ninja-ing out of Sakura's wardrobe since he first thought of this cracked up plan.
He quickly suited up, slipping one of Sakura's bras over his newly formed bust, and sliding panties over his brand-spanking new vagina, mourning the loss of his beloved penis as he pulled them up. Next, he slipped on a comfortable yet flattering sleeveless blue dress and put on a pair of black flats to complement the dress's black belt. Giving himself a once over in the mirror, Naruto decided that all in all, he looked good.
Barely able to contain his excitement, Naruto rushed out of his bedroom and out the apartment door. "Look out, Sasuke! Here I come!" He shouted happily, laughing as he ran.
--Prolly--Shoulda--Thought--That--Through--More--
Naruto had been searching for over twenty minutes before he finally spotted Sasuke walking around Konoha's produce district. Apparently, the Uchiha had been in the middle of grocery shopping, if the basket filled with veggies was any indication.
Pausing to catch his breath after so much running, Naruto quickly made an effort to smooth down his hair and make himself look more presentable. He took a deep breath and calmly strode over to Sasuke.
--Sasuke--Timez!--
The Uchiha was examining a tomato at a vegetable vender's booth for imperfections, when he sensed the presence of another to his right. Craning his head slightly so as to get a better view, Sasuke noticed a young girl that he had never seen before staring at him intently.
'Great…another stalker to add to my collection…' he thought with resignation, returning to his tomato seemingly unfazed.
"Excuse me…" she started slowly, as if picking her words very carefully. "But could you show me where a good place to get ramen is?"
Sasuke looked down at her and blinked stupidly. 'She wants ramen? Oh lord…' "You should try Ichiraku's…" he said bluntly, turning away again.
She nodded at him and beamed brightly up at him. "Well, you see, I'm new to Konoha so I don't know where that is? Would you mind showing me?"
"I'm busy. Bother someone else."
Seemingly expecting a better reaction, the girl deflated. Regaining her confidence, she smiled at him again and said in what she thought was a cute voice, "But I don't want to bother anybody else."
Sasuke ignored her and placed the tomato into his basket and began walking away.
She scowled at him, blue eyes shining with anger. She reached up and grabbed the high collar of his black shirt, pulling him down to her level. "Listen, asshole! I just said I'm new in town and don't know where anything is! Instead of being the icy bitch you are, you could be chivalrous for once in your stupid life and help out a girl in need!" She panted slightly after her little speech and glared angrily at him.
Sasuke blinked at her in surprise. His initial shock soon wore off however, and he was quick to narrow his eyes at her in annoyance. "You, little girl, obviously have no idea who you're dealing with."
"Well, maybe we should become better acquainted then." She smiled at him suddenly, eyes narrowed in a silent challenge. "Show me where Ichiraku's is."
Caught off guard by her sudden change in attitude, Sasuke sighed deeply and decided to comply if only to get the obnoxious brunette off his back. "Fine. This way." He began grumbling to himself and walked off in the direction of Ichiraku's.
While Sasuke was caught up in his grumbling, the young teenager he was escorting began rubbing her hands together diabolically.
'All according to plan…'
--Oh--Snap!--
YAAAAAAAY! CHAPTER ONE! Okay, that was excruciating I'm sure, but they all have to start somehow! Gaaaaaaah I'm so nervous about this story!!!! Tell me what you thought, pweez? I need confirmation on this one cause I'm a little unsure about it.
PRESS THE NEWLY CONFIGURATED REVIEW BUTTON OR PERISH!!!!!! (I dunno about you, but I kinda miss the ghetto review button...Ah, nostalgia...)