Title: This is not really happening
Pairing: Breyton, Lundsey, with mention of Leyton and Naley
Rating: Uhm. PG, I guess? I'm never good at this. There's no bad words or explicit situations or anything so.
Disclaimer: You know the drill, I'm not the owner. The titles are from Tori Amos's song Cornflake Girl.
Summary: Lucas writes his new book and ponders things.
Spoilers/Warnings: Breyton. That means f/f. So. Y'know. It's set after Brooke and Peyton come back to Tree Hill.
Author's Notes: No beta so all mistakes are mine. I'm putting Lucas as the main character cause its locus is Lucas. It's a second person narrative focused on him and his realizations and such. It's mainly done, I'll update a little bit more regularly than I have for my other stories. Also, it's going to be rather short. I think my characterization of Lucas is a little off, I don't feel as comfortable writing with him as I do Brooke or Peyton, and I apologize for the possibility that this is horribly characterized or something. (As well as for my comma usage. I'm working on it. And the shortness of this part and in general.) I hope you enjoy it. I'll probably put the next part up sometime today or tomorrow.
Alright, so there's been a question as to why this is listed as under Lucas (I clicked on Peyton by accident, hadn't noticed that, remedied that, apologies.) It's a Breyton story but the focus is on Lucas and how He deals with and realizes this. It's a Lucas story where he isn't in the big triangle of doom and gets to end up happy. I'm sorry if it throws people that he isn't in the relationship that's in focus here but I don't think I should put it as B/P since they don't really show up that much. It's a Lucas story. So it's listed as Lucas. Sorry if this causes any problems for anyone, I didn't mean for it to do so.
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You like to think you have an epic love story with Peyton Sawyer. After all it makes sense that you would, after all you've been through and the fact that you still can't get away from each other. It's like this thing you can't seem to escape, and truth be told, you really don't want to. It makes a soft smile curl up on your broody face every night as you brush your teeth before bed. You don't let anyone know she's on your mind at least once a day. You don't let anyone know that you still imagine life with her, especially because something always gets in the way. You think this is odd, that even in your daydreams or dreams you can't manage to keep her, or keep you both happy. Something's always there.
You remember the first time you made eye contact with her, freshman year of high school. You'd never admit it but you actually pinched yourself. It felt too much like a movie, she was too perfect. You were surprised that you actually liked her more than you liked Brooke. Brooke with her model looks and husky voice and come hither attitude couldn't hold a candle to the quiet artistry that was Peyton. And then there was the way you felt around each other, like you found this piece to you that you never really knew you had. It was too good to be true. You should have known that, especially when you started dating Brooke and things started crumbling. You aren't sure why you started dating Brooke exactly. You knew you wanted Peyton and she wanted you, but Brooke was there and she wanted you and she was gorgeous and the one thing your brother never had. Maybe that was your mistake, wanting to have something Nathan never had, or maybe it was just lusting after Brooke and chasing her instead of Peyton.
Oh, if you'd only realized that before. Before Brooke and Peyton and Lindsey, and the mess that happened. You sit at your computer now, trying to re-capture the stars. You need to write, you think. There's something sitting at the base of your brain, kicking and hollering, and there's the book deal. Lindsey too, you suppose. You don't want to disappoint her, not again. You love her, and you know you both know it, but you know you both have suspicions about Peyton. And now that she's back in town, well, it's making everything worse.
You're drawn to Peyton, she's got this hold on you that can pull you across the court, across town, across the country. She even managed to pull you out of the arms of Brooke Davis. You hope you're in her heart like she's in yours. You can't imagine why she wouldn't be, you are Lucas Scott after all. You're a hunky, brooding, former-basketball star and high school love. How could she not still feel this pull? She came back to Tree Hill after all. She must feel something for you, otherwise why would she come back? It doesn't make sense to you, there isn't anyone else that she would come back for. Not Nathan or Haley or Brooke. It would have been easier for her to go to New York if she missed Brooke, or have Brooke go there. Either one of them could have done their job in either place. So it must have been you. Even though you were with Lindsey and in love with her.
You sigh in frustration at the blank page in front of you. Another wasted day you think. Maybe tomorrow will go better. You shut down your computer and crawl into bed next the woman you love and try to lose yourself in sleep.