Castiel stood out in the darkness of the early morning absorbing the rain. His clothes soaked through clung to his skin along with the small, white pair of costume wings that Dean had bought for him.
"Don't mock me, Dean" Castiel remembered telling him. At first he was bitter upon receiving the gift; it was a reminder of what he lost once he had fallen. Soon after, though, he realized that Dean had gotten them as a reminder to Castiel that he would always be an angel, no matter what his celestial state may be.
Castiel had never really stood out in the rain before. When he had his grace he would just fly from one dry place to the other. He had woken up early in the morning from incredibly vivid dreams of Purgatory and the angels falling. If there was one human thing Castiel enjoyed the least, it was sleeping. He didn't understand it. To Castiel sleeping felt like temporary recreational death: unnecessary and frightening. Unfortunately, it was essential to his new found humanity. Castiel decided to leave his bed and the bunker to go outside.
His dark sunken eyes closed, Castiel concentrated on the pelts of rain hitting his face. With the wind wafting through his hair, Castiel felt as if he was flying. He felt as if he was an angel again.
"Cas!" Dean stood in the doorway of the bunker wearing his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. "What are you doing? You're going to catch a cold!"
With that Castiel dropped to the ground and let out a deafening yell. He couldn't talk this anymore. He hated being human, he hated that his grace was gone, but most of all he hated himself. He had destroyed everything he had loved. It was all his fault and there was nothing he could do about it.
"Hey," Dean whispered as he put a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be alright."
"No, Dean" Castiel answered, near sobbing. "I'm not alright! I'm not immune to illness! I can't sleep! I keep picturing fighting and falling and burning…" Castiel was shaking now.
"Hey, hey" Dean held him, gently pressing his head to his chest. "I know being human sucks. Trust me, I know. But you know what doesn't suck? This: right here." Dean clutched their hands together firmly. "What we have here, that's the best, most fuckin' human thing in the world and it makes every damn day worth livin'." He wiped a tear off of Castiel's cheek. "And for what it's worth, you'll always be my angel no matter what. You're my saving grace, Cas."
Castiel wanted to stop crying (another human trait he detested), but his emotions could not be contained. Being human meant fear and pain, but if it also came with this feeling, the feeling that swelled in him when he looked at Dean, then he could learn to live with all the other things that came along with humanity.
"Now, come on. Let's go inside. I'll fix us up some coffee and we can listen to a few old records."
Castiel smiled, "I'd like that very much, Dean."
The two got up from the wet, patchy, grass, and headed indoors.
"Hey, you're really rockin' those wings" Dean teased lightly.
"Shut it, Winchester" Castiel laughed. With Dean by his side, Castiel now knew that the storm had passed and being human would be a breeze.