NorthernTrash-x here, back again for the Christmas season with your very own advent fic. Each day, a new letter. Have a good one!

December 1st

Dear Father Christmas

Ken-chan says that old men who ask me to sit on their laps are perverts and I should pull their guts out through their mouths and leave them for the dogs to eat, but Yumi told me that you were okay, because you're special, so even though you're a pervert I'm not going to let the dogs eat you. Yumi is teaching me lots of things that I didn't know before, Father Christmas.

For Christmas, I'd like it if Yumi stopped trying to teach me things that I didn't know before.

Ken-chan says he's taught me everything he knows already, so I must know enough.

I think I've been a good girl this year, Father Christmas. I know that I did disembowel that bunny that we found, but it was by accident, it just didn't know how to play properly. That's not my fault. Same with Floppy-Hair from the Sixth Division, and they said that his leg would heal just fine anyway, so it doesn't matter.

For Christmas I'd like a sheep to play with, a new cat and a new red felt tip pen. Mine is running out, because I use it the most. My favourite thing to draw is Ken-chan when he's happy, so I have to use lots of red on the bodies.

I would also like some more of those sweets that Bya-kun brought over for me to eat that one time. The ones with the pink sparkles on. They were tasty.

I'd like it if you could find the password to Kuro-crazy's computer as well, because there are lots of funny things to do on his computer and he never lets me play.

And that isn't fair, because you should always share things.

But most of all I'd like it if Ken-chan gets to kill someone this Christmas, because it always makes him smile. Or maybe if he just got to fight Ichi again, that would be okay, I guess.

Thanks!

Yachiru

-Father Christmas, I'm afraid that I had to correct several (hundred) spelling mistakes and rewrite it on paper not stained with rabbit intestine before I could sent this to you. If I just could ask, could you not grant Yachiru that first wish? I know that Captain Zaraki manages without it, but I'm just not sure if she can get through her entire life without knowing the basics of hygiene.

I'm asking for all our sakes.

Y. A.

Yumichika put his pen down with a sigh and an attractive flick of the hair. Not that there was anyone in his miniscule office to witness such a feat of beauty, but one must not get lax about that sort of thing. With a small sneer of disgust, he picked up the sticky paper that he had been copying from with a pair of tweezers, and carefully deposited it in his bin, trying very hard not to think about the red marks and the small blob of grey matter that he just hadn't been able to bring himself to remove from Yachiru's letter.

He placed the copy of the letter in a scented envelope, sealing it with a satisfied flourish.

With the last job of the day complete, he stood up and stretched, wondering why Yachiru had decided this year that Christmas was such a big deal. It certainly wasn't anything that the Captain had instilled in her…

But then, it seemed that everyone cared a little more about Christmas than they normally would this year.