Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. If I did, the Master would have regenerated so he and the Doctor could be smexy and lordy with time together. :P and forgive me for the OOCness of the Master. It's all for the sake of cute ^_^
I've always loved him. Ever since we were small. He was just too obtuse to see it. The skinny twit never seemed to realize exactly how amazing he really was. It made me want to punch him.
When the drums started, though, they just amplified the urge. I found myself wanting to hurt him as much as I could. It didn't help that he didn't believe me. That just made their song more persuasive. He would just gaze sorrowfully at me all the time after I told him about them. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to kill him or kiss him. I guess both.
Now, trapped in that infernal Type 40 of his, I get to be reminded every waking moment of the pain he's caused me. And the worst part? I love him too much to care.
"Theta?" I said softly. "Would you get me some pudding while you're up?" It pained me to be so docile, but it had to be done. Though my Doctor had silenced the drums, I was still essentially the same person. I just lacked some of the more powerful bloodlust. I had to act this way, though, if I was ever going to get my prickly headed paramour to love me back. I doubted he'd be terribly interested in the slightly mad fellow I actually was. He gave me an odd look.
"Are you feeling alright?" he inquired, running his long fingers through his tousled hair. "Because you're not acting like you." I nodded.
"I'm fine, thanks. Pudding please?" I was starting to get a little impatient. The sometimes bespectacled time lord was standing there like an idiot, his hands in his pockets and his face contorted with worry.
"Are you sure? You seem off," he pressed. I didn't know what his problem was, but the Doctor was starting to make me angry. Why couldn't he just bugger off and get me some Rassilon damned pudding? I didn't get it.
"I'm pretty fucking sure, Doctor. Now go get me some pudding before I decide to rip your porcupineish head off and shove it up your bum hole," I snapped. I gazed hard at him, daring him to get mad at me for my little outburst. Instead, he smiled.
"I thought I'd lost you, Koschei," the blue suited bumble told me with a crooked grin.
"I'd have thought you'd be glad to," I retorted petulantly, feeling annoyed at being left out of his thoughts. All our years apart had made him harder to read. His smile turned into a soft frown, which I didn't like. He was far too pretty to frown.
"If I wanted rid of you, I'd have given you to the Jadoon by now," he replied, his soft coral lips still curved into that abominable frown. It was the sort of frown that makes you want to destroy whatever caused it and then kiss it away with as much enthusiasm as possible. I both loved and hated it.
"Why haven't you?" I asked, an eyebrow raised in challenge. His frown deepened.
"I thought that was quite clear," the converse clad alien said. "I need you."
I need you, he'd said. The great Doctor, one true enemy of the Daleks, the bloody Oncoming Storm needed me. I was in shock, so I did the only thing I could think to do.
"What the bloody fuck do you need me for?" I inquired harshly. He winced a bit.
"You make me make sense...I never feel right without you. I-"
"And you never thought to mention this before? Or even to try to find me?" I scoffed. I hated myself for hurting my dear Doctor, but I knew he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear. Even though I was his prisoner, he still felt some sort of strange need to make me feel like I was wanted. I don't know why he did; I clearly wasn't. I never knew why he bothered to be amiable. It just made my heart hurt that much more.
He looked like I'd slapped him. The hurt in those big brown doe eyes almost made me leap from my seat and draw him into my arms. Almost. Instead, I let my lips curve into a smirk of cruel satisfaction. I took no pleasure in hurting the sonic screwdriver wielding fool, but I had to at least pretend like I did.
"I am so sorry," he told me with a sincerity that broke my hearts. "I didn't realize until I was about to lose you just how much I need you."
"That's convenient," I snapped. "Did you ever spare me a single thought all these years? No. You were too busy gallivanting through time and space with all your bloody tarts to care about the one remaining member of your species. I should hate you. Nay, I should fucking kill you. All those years spent thinking you were alone are nothing compared to knowing that the one person in the entire universe who could ever hope to understand me had his head too far up his arse to notice me."
I looked away, breathing a bit heavily, in an effort to keep him from seeing the tears that I was sure had started to stream down my face. The Doctor inhaled sharply and I knew he had seen. It didn't help that my mental barriers were shot. I felt him slide gently into my mind, his tentative presence making the tears flow even more vigorously than before. I knew it was unlike me to turn into such a blubbering fool, but I was too tired, both mentally and emotionally, to care.
"Either find what you're looking for or get the fuck out of my head, Theta," I ordered, my voice a combination of shaky and bitter. Then he did something completely unexpected. I was bombarded with images and feelings. The day I regenerated at the end of the universe and the hope he felt knowing I was alive, the heart shattering pain of watching me die in his arms, the unadulterated joy of knowing that I'd come back to travel with him (no matter how much I told him it wasn't true); I saw them all with startling clarity.
"I love you, Koschei...so much," the tall time lord confessed, his big brown eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"You know I can never be who I was on Gallifrey... He's gone," I whispered softly, tears still flowing, trying to stop him from making this mistake. I would only disappoint him. He crossed the room and took my face in his hands, staring into my eyes.
"I wouldn't have it any other way." That one simple statement sent all of my walls crashing down. I knotted my fingers in the Doctor's unruly hair and crushed my lips against his, finally willing to let him love me.
Please R&R or the Doctor will be forced to go all Oncoming Storm on you. And nobody wants that...well...unless he's doing it at someone else and I get to watch him do that sexy "I'm angry so let me walk toward the camera with light or fire or something badass like that behind me while having the most smoldery eyes ever" thing. I'm definitely okay with that :D