Without A Trace?

This was very nearly called 'Who's going to save us now but there is a little monologue at the end which inspired the name, 'Without A Trace' and by something Max says.
This was inspired by Emily's Rax anniversary fic specifically the fourth year. I have played around with the time a little bit, there is no Dylan and Rax are still married but having troubles. In this Dupe has just passed away and Max is needing a little direction….

(X)

Sun was settling on Leopards Den colouring the landscape in golden hues. A solitary man rode a truck in silence to a place he never expected to see if he was being completely honest. He pressed the brake abruptly reaching the place without even realising it. Funny the original ride had seemed much longer, he'd been lost in thought at the time knowing that he was one of the pall bearers for when they were going to put Dupe into his final resting place.

Max bowed his head and rested it on the steering wheel, he hadn't had quite enough to drink to be able to think of that moment. Rosie's face flashed in his mind and his hand found the whiskey by his side. He had never seen such devastation on her face at the moment when he and the other men, Danny, Thabo and Evan lifted the casket out of the car. When he'd saw his wife's tear streaked face everything suddenly became so very real and Max wanted no part of it. He'd tried to look at Rosie reassuringly as he passed but he was aware that it probably looked more like a grimace, it took everything inside him to remain composed. After that all he remembered was a sea of grief stricken faces as he kept his eyes rooted on the pastor…..he was about to take a big drink of the whiskey, he had unscrewed the lid when he heard a laughing voice in his head.

"Hey man, save some for me.'

Max exhaled and climbed from the car picking up a bag, he slammed the door and jumped when it disturbed the quiet all around. As he walked through the area he was surprised to see that the sun shone a little bit brighter here than on the path, like the suns rays were reluctant to disappear into the horizon….probably because Dupe had organised an all night party. "Am I invited?" Max asked tugging at his collar. Why he had to wear this monkey suit was beyond him! He didn't think Dupe cared what they all wore, the top button popped and it rolled away. Max considered rooting around in the dust but decided against it, he didn't have many opportunities to wear a suit so he just continued to his destination. A mound of mud caught his eye ahead and his step faltered. He had another feeling like when he carried the coffin, this was all too real or more aptly desribed as surreal.

"Is it true Dupe?" he whispered. "Really? Unable to believe that a larger than life character could be extinguished without a trace…..then again not really without a trace. His and Rosie child, that was without a trace, they had no where to go and honour their child. They had a little place in their garden where Rosie liked to sit and talk sometimes. He wished he had some sort of outlet but he didn't really know what to do.

No sounds penetrated as he looked at the mud and Max found himself wishing that the old man was here to concoct another scheme or to plead with him not to tell Caroline about his obscene bar tab, or so Max could ask his advice on Rosie, they seemed to have lost sight of each other recently…at the thought of his wife be continued his trek, only coming to a standstill by the mans final resting place.

He sat down cross legged on the ground, bowing his head. He went into the bag and pulled out two heavy glasses, the ones Dupe was so fond of drinking from. He poured Dupe a liberal amount of whiskey, smiling as he heard the man telling him not to hold back. Max poured himself a lesser amount and placed Dupes glass approximately where his hand would be. He raised his own glass in the air, "This one is to you, Anders DuPlessis." he said softly and lowered the glass, he was about to drink when he smiled suddenly. "I bet its killing you not being able to reach that glass huh?" he murmured to the marker, "I'd pour it in but I'd worry you'd yell at me for wasting it…." he frowned. "Not that you could yell at me…." his voice was soft.

The marker proclaimed this grave as belonging to 'Anders 'Dupe' DuPlessis. His date of birth….another small smile, Alice was gonna kill Danny, he had the date of birth as 'The Stone Age.' "You'll definitely have to get him back for that one Dupe." Max murmured lowering the glass, his drink untouched. "Guess he had the last….." he closed his eyes as he was reminded once again that Dupe was gone, "…the last laugh."

Max stayed quiet a moment needing to hear his old friends gruff voice, tears filled his eyes when it didn't materialise. He put his drink down and pressed his palms into his eyes to stem the flow. "Don't you tell anyone I've been crying!" Max told the mound. "I managed to stay in control during the service." Rosie on the other hand had spent most of the time weeping softly into a hanker-chief, the sound of her tears tearing at him, knowing that nothing he could do or say could bring back the man she loved so much. "It was a good turn out," he lowered his voice. "Course there was more woman then men there, all moaning the loss to the world." he smiled. "But you knew that huh?" his humour disappeared. "I think you'd have been surprised actually, more people loved you than you thought."

He seemed to be going from feeling fine to crippling sadness in extremes and he had no idea how to make himself feel better. It didn't help that a perpetual silence seemed to be hanging oppressively in the air. It wasn't the night itself, it was warm and the stars were starting to tentatively shine in a navy sky. It was the feeling, nothing felt right anymore something was missing. He had never been to Leopards Den without Dupe, it didn't feel like a home anymore like the heartbeat was gone.

"This old place doesn't feel the same without you." Max murmured. "Leopards Den just isn't Leopards Den without you." he shook his head. "Caroline, keep an eye on her for us yeah? I know you've only been up there a week or so and you miss her but we need her a little longer after losing you, I don't know if Rosie could take any more loss right now." he sighed looking up at the night sky. "Danny and Alice are different too, he seems older, like he aged over night. I don't think he ever considered that one day you'd leave. You were always a double act in a lot of ways, more than me and you were or even you and Fatani. You're brothers and he's hurting so badly right now. Alice is trying her best to keep his head up, always whispering to him, trying to be the glue that keeps us all together. You were that glue Dupe. Give them a hand yeah especially Alice, she's trying so hard with Danny she isn't let herself feel it." he put his head in his hands. "The kids are united in grief it seems, Liv and Evan regaling Charlie with stories about the larger than life bush man they met when they arrived here." Max frowned into his glass. "Liv and Evan are taking this as hard as they did Sarah, have a talk with them if you can they need you…..God listen to me, you were supposed to be relieved to have the weight of the world of your shoulders in heaven and I'm just giving you more to worry about, sorry man."

'I see you haven't mentioned Rosie….I'm worried about that.' echoed in his mind clear as day. At the thought of his wife his eyes were suddenly dark and pain filled. He picked up his glass and took a long gulp, swallowing all the liquid in one swallow. He winced as it burned on the way down. "Christ Dupe, how did you drink this stuff?" he wheezed, his gaze drawn to Dupes glass, his untouched glass. Had the man been here it would have been refilled a few times by now, but there it stood, mocking him it seemed….Max closed his eyes and shook his head. He heard a squawk and after looking overhead he saw a lone vulture circling. It reminded Max of the time Dupe thought Peeters was stalking him. It reminded him of the time Alice first came right before he and Rosie married, it reminded him of when everything was easy, he and Rosie were expecting their baby, Dupe was here, Danny and Alice were unknowingly falling in love….then circumstances were set in motion and they ended up here, at a graveside of a man who wasn't allowed to die.

'C'mon man, tell me about it.' he heard Dupe say.

"What can I say Dupe?" he whispered. "I love her. We had all these dreams and ideas of what we were going to, what we were going to be and somehow we lost it all. We argued this morning you know, this was your day and we couldn't even….." he swallowed hard. "I really miss the days when you were just a phone call away for help or advice. We never thanked you or ever told you how much we needed to know that you were always there to dispense wisdom, or lock us in a room until we worked out our differences….."

"What d'you think he'd say if he was here?" Rosie asked from behind him softly.

Max wasn't shocked, somehow he'd known she was there, "Gimmie that whiskey?" he said without turning around.

A laugh escaped Rosie, "Apart from that. What do you think he'd say to us?"

Max sighed, "He'd have a go at us for not talking." his shoulders slumped slightly. "Its like we never have the time."

Rosie approached him and sat down. "There's no time like the present." she looked in his face and saw the residual tears on his face. She lifted her hand and wiped one away gently.

"I thought you'd been quiet after the funeral, you'd been quiet since I told you." her hand ligering on his face a beat longer than necessary.

He clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut remembering the helpless feeling when she told him of Dupe's passing, he had only really felt that once before when…. "I've gotta…." his voice strangled.

She gripped his arm, "You've got to stay here with me and Dupe." she picked up Dupe's glass and lifted it into the air. "To the only grandfather I've ever known." and took a sip of his drink. "I miss you already." she added ten looked to Max, "Why didn't you tell me you were coming here?"

Max shrugged, "I dunno, he never really counselled us together, always apart and I needed his counsel." he shook his head. "But he isn't here." he bit his lip. "And I needed him to be….."

Rosie lowered her head, her voice low. "Me too. The house feels so empty. Dad went into his room earlier and still hasn't came out. Alice is trying so hard to stop him from shattering. Caroline is the opposite, she won't go near the room not to mention the kids and Nomsa, they had this relationship where they bantered but there was love there. I've never seen her cry before Max."

Max sighed looking into the distance, his emotions on a hair triggerm so he poured himself another drink. "I hated the funeral." he admitted. "It was just a load of people stood around in suits crying and it didn't feel like Dupe. You know what he would have wanted? People getting absolutely rat arsed, that's Dupe! So that is what I'm going to do!"

"Dupe's motto, any excuse for a knees up huh?" Rosie asked wrapping her arms around her legs.

Max took a drink of the whiskey, "He was good though, he always knew what he was talking about, well most of the time, especially when it came to matters of the heart."

Rosie nodded in agreement. "He saved us a few times."

"Who is going to save us now?" Max whispered as he stared intently into the night.

Rosie looked at him.

"Who is going to the one we go to when we need help? When our marriage is crumbling and I have no idea how to stop it. When I'm panicking because I have no idea how to reach you."

"Max…."

"That's why I need him here! That's why he isn't allowed to leave! Because if he's still here, then I'm not losing you!" he finally looked at her, eyes wide with fear and unshed tears.

Rosie lifted her shaking hand to his cheek, "We'll make it somehow. We have to try."

He shook his head. "We wouldn't have made it back then if it wasn't for him, when we lost..."

"We would have found a way!" Rosie told him softly.

"You don't know that."

"I do," she murmured and looked deep in his eyes. "Because I won't ever let you go without a fight."

"Rosie…." he told her trying to stop her saying the words, she knew as well as he did that they were on a path to no where until Dupe stepped in.

"Ok fine." she admitted. "We have had close shaves in the past and he was here to teach us how to get past it." she rubbed her face. "Life is hard Max, life is unpredictable, nobody knows what is around the corner and who knows who is next to go. Maybe dad or Alice or even me. Nobody knows whether in ten years we'll still be together, or whether Liv will have met somebody or whether dad and Alice will have another 3 kids. All anyone can do is make the most of the time we have, like Dupe did, no matter what comes." she gripped his face in her hands tenderly. "There'll be days when we hate each other, there'll be days we don't what to know and guess what we may even lose sight of what we have but what we can't lose sight of is this!" and she lifted her left hand to see the ring that bound them together. She lifted his left hand too and placed their ring finger side by side. "Whatever you may think Dupe didn't keep us together, we did! And the best way I can think of honouring this mans legacy is to stay together through thick and thin. We were kids when we got together and Dupe was there for us, he was there to teach us how to not lose sight of our marriage. He left because he knew we were ready to fly solo. He knew that he had did all the work he had to, Dad and Alice, us….." she looked in her husbands eyes and saw the tears that shimmered there. "And anytime we need to we'll come here ok? We'll bring our bottle of whiskey and we'll have it out and he'll be here right in front of us, willing us on, not in body but in spirit."

Max nodded throat tight barely holding on to all he was feeling.

A slight breeze surrounded them and Rosie shivered slightly. He shrugged off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders. "You ready to go home?" he asked voice husky from the lump in his throat. There was more talking needing to be done, and more healing but her words had touched a chord deep within him and he wasn't as worried about them as before.

Rosie lifted Dupe's glass of whiskey and took another sip.

"If he was here he'd strangle you for drinking his whiskey!" Max told her softly.

Rosie smiled. "What you gonna now then Dupe?" she whispered looking at his grave a half smile on her face.

The night was silent, "Well he might make it rain on you." Max said. "He knew how much you hated getting your hair wet."

Rosie made a face.

"Just put the glass down slowly." he murmured in her ear.

Rosie did and smiled at Dupes grave sadly. "I'm really gonna miss him Max. I don't think I realised how much until today….his chair is still there on the porch, nobody daren't touch it."

Max put his arm around Rosie shoulders and they sat there sadly, without warning a shooting star began to streak across the sky.

"Hey Max look." Rosie said and pointed.

Max sat up straighter and smiled. "Shooting stars are lucky, you can wish on them." they shared a looked, twined their hands tight and wished silently.

It streaked across the sky leaving a peace in its wake and Rosie and Max knew that somehow Dupe had orchestrated it. They knew then that no matter where they were he was gonna be there with them.

"Lets go home Rosie." Max murmured still looking at the sky where the star had disappeared into darkness.

Rosie nodded and took his hand, his jacket baggy on her shoulders. They left the grave site hand in hand until Rosie quickly hurried back, picked up the bottle of whiskey and sat it by his cross. She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer. "Say hello to my mum for me, I'm sure she's been dying to meet you."

When she lifted her head she was sure she saw him stood by her mum, the man she met when they first arrived, he looked thinner, healthier and the beard was less unkempt. "She was!" he told he in his gruff voice smiling widely. "I'm proud of you Rosie, take care of yourself and Max. It isn't goodbye, just see you not so soon."

Rosie nodded. "See you Dupe, I love you." She blinked and the vision was gone, a lone tear fell from her eye. After rejoining their husband by the car they made their way home, placing a reminder in Max's phone to pick up the truck Rosie used.

And overhead the stars shone, the light these stars produce outlive us all, they shine for a million billion years never ending…..just like love. And that is why Dupe is not gone without a trace, like Max thought, there are traces of him everywhere evidenced by the love he helped grow. Max and Rosie's a prime example.