A/N – Okay, this is a one shot. I had this idea while driving home listening to Turning Page by Sleeping at Last.
Disclaimer: All recognisable Twilight Characters are the property of , everything else is of my own making S . Meyers ... Except the Sham Wow, that's a gift from god.
Turning Page
There are few things in your life that you will do that truly effect who you are and who you are going to be. Nothing had prepared me for this moment in time though.
Chocolate brown hair, clear creamy skin, and dark emerald eyes, my beautiful daughter was born six hours ago. She was born 6 weeks premature, she was so small I could hold her with one hand – not that I dared to risk dropping her. Tears stung my face as I looked into her eyes; she was the only strength I needed now.
"She's beautiful isn't she Edward?" Bella whispered from behind me.
"She doesn't even have a name Bella," I rasped.
My baby girl stirred in my arms reaching her small hands up towards my face, I extended a finger out to her which she took hold off without hesitation, bringing it up to her mouth to suck on softly settling herself.
"Peyton," Bella smiled. "Peyton Alice Cullen,"
It was perfect, Peyton was perfect. I rocked Peyton back and forth in the hospital nursery before falling into a soft sleep myself.
-Turning Page-
"Baby, I'm home," I called as I walked through the front door.
The house was quiet, today had been a long day and all I been looking forward to was coming home and snuggling with my beautiful wife in front of the TV. I kicked off my boots and hung up my jacket, shaking the snow off in the process.
"Bella? Where are you?" I asked even louder making my way towards our bedroom.
Bella popped her head out of the ensuite door, tear marks stained her cheeks, a small smile slowly spread across her face. I ran up to her scooping her in my arms, in the hope that whatever was wrong I was consoling her in some way.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I whispered, sweeping her chocolate brown hair out of her eyes.
"I'm pregnant," She replied in a small voice.
She took my hand and lead me to the bathroom vanity where there were three pregnancy tests laying on the side of the sink, all emblazoned with a small pink plus sign. I didn't know what to think, we had discussed having children but it was always in the distant future. Children weren't part of the plan just yet, we had only been married for a year and a half and we were only 24 after all. Suddenly I couldn't think of a future moment where we didn't have beautiful baby around.
"Edward, what are you thinking?" She asked placing her small hands on my cheeks, trying to calm me.
"At first I thought this is crazy, we're too young to be parents, and we aren't financially stable enough. Can we really do this? But we are married, I love you, we have my inheritance if we need help, and I think you will be a great mom," I told her kissing the tip of her nose.
"We're really doing this then?" She asked, throwing her arms around my neck.
"I wouldn't have it any other way Beautiful," I picked her up, doing the cliché twirl while kissing her.
-Turning Page-
"Edward," Alice's voice rang through my ears, I felt her nudge my arm trying to wake me. "Edward, it's time to take her home," She said softly, her expression unreadable.
I nodded as she scooped Peyton into her arms before placing her in a newly purchased baby capsule, I had seen Alice, happy, angry, even sad, but today she seemed blank. Her eyes held no emotion, if it weren't for the fact that I don't hit women I would have slapped her silly, how dare she hold my baby girl and feel nothing, but I understood how she felt. In a sense I felt the same.
She stood up straightening her skirt, her hair was slightly dishevelled her makeup washed off. She looked tired, I didn't blame her, and she had been at the hospital with me since 10:30 last night.
"Ready to go?" She asked, draping her messenger bag over her shoulder.
I took in a deep breath picking up Peyton in the baby capsule, nodding at Alice to lead the way.
We walked through the halls of the hospital, Alice's heels clicking on the hard floor echoing off the walls. Peyton was fast asleep in her capsule, I was drifting.
"Can you believe we made this Edward?" Bella whispered into my ear.
A small smile spread across my face; if I hadn't held her I would never have believed that Peyton was ours. A little bit of Bella and a little bit of me. I could already tell that Peyton was going to have Bella's blush.
-Turning Page-
Emmett clapped me on the back, a proud grin plastered on his face.
"You're getting married little bro," He boomed.
I was getting married today; to the girl of my dreams too might I add.
"I know, I can't believe that today has finally come," I smiled back.
"Ha! It's about time; we've all been waiting for this day since junior high. Little Bella's officially going to be part of the family now,"
As Emmett finished talking the organ started playing, announcing Bella's arrival, we turned towards the aisle just in time to watch Alice float down in a deep purple dress, her hair pinned back in a 50's wave hairdo, she was beaming. Seconds after Alice took her place on the alter our guests stood, sending the creak of wooden chairs and shuffle of feet throughout the church, Bella was clutching Charlie's arm, she was in a simple lace gown that hugged her in all the right places, eventually flowing down to the ground leaving a train of lace to follow her.
I had seen Bella at her best, dressed in a midnight blue dress at prom, and at her worst in old sweats when she had pneumonia last year, today though she didn't look human, today she was an angel. She floated down the aisle; her grandmother's thin lace veil covered her face and fell to the floor around her feet, she held a small bouquet of purple hydrangeas in her right hand, the light around her hit my mother's diamond engagement right making it sparkle.
Her eyes glistened as she looked up at me half way down the aisle, from that second on her eyes never left mine. I took a step forward as she arrived at the altar, taking her hand in mine. For the rest of the ceremony our eyes remained locked on each other.
I took a deep breath ready to give her my life.
"I, Edward Anthony Cullen, take you, Isabella Marie Swan, to be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live," I whispered, barely audible for anyone who wasn't in the front row.
Bella looked into my eyes, tears welling in the corners of her eyes as I made my vow to her.
"I, Isabella Marie Swan, take you, Edward Anthony Cullen, to be my husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live," She echoed. "I promise I will love you, as long as my heart is beating," She added.
The moment the priest uttered the words 'You may now kiss your bride' I swept Bella's veil away from her face cupping her cheeks, kissing her with a kiss that could stop time, there was no urgency, only love, want and need. It was a kiss that gave me a bravery that I had never experienced before.
"I love you Edward," She whispered, throwing her arms around my neck.
-Turning Page-
I sat in our bedroom listening to Alice sing a lullaby to Peyton in her nursery, I was furious and hurt, and I needed Bella's bravery now more than ever. Running my fingers through my hair I thought of all the words Bella had said to me about our baby before she was born.
"He's going to do great things Edward, I can feel it," She told me late on Wednesday night a month ago.
"He's going to have your coordination, and my musical talent," She laughed while Christmas shopping, early in December.
"He's going to be so loved," She whispered the night Peyton was born.
I was beginning to doubt her, after all Bella had thought Peyton would be a boy. I cracked my knuckles for what felt like the millionth time, I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear Alice creep into the bedroom.
"Edward?" She asked softly.
"Hey Ally," I sighed, I felt so defeated.
Alice sat down on the bed opposite me, taking my hands into hers, trying to calm me. I couldn't look her in the eye, she would see it all. The anger and hurt, the happiness and joy, but most of all the small part of my soul that was dying.
"Edward, what's her name?" She asked in a small voice.
"Peyton," I rasped. "Peyton Alice." I looked up to see Alice's reaction at Bella's choice of name.
Tears slid down her face silently, "You didn't have to, really Edward," She said whipping her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt.
"It's what Bella wanted." I said with finality.
I stood up, giving Alice a quick hug before making my way to the ensuite; I was overdue for a shower. She sat on the edge of the bed looking down at her hands, crying silently.
"I... ahh... I'm going to head home... Let Jasper know... shower and... Call mom and dad... ahh I'll be back a little later, okay?" She mumbled.
"Thanks Ally, I don't know what, I'd do without you," I kissed her temple in thanks.
Standing in the shower I let the scolding hot water run down my back, turning my skin red. My head was pounding, there were so many things running through my mind right now, and it all seemed so impossible.
I sat in Peyton's nursery, rocking back and forth like Bella did while she was pregnant; Peyton was beginning to stir as I was starting to fall asleep. Picking her up I tried to lull her back to sleep, failing dismally. I didn't know how to be a good dad.
"Hey baby, aren't you tired," I cooed. "Are you hungry?"
In less than five minutes I had a bottle of formula in one hand and Peyton in the other; no matter what I tried she didn't want to latch. Her crying grew louder and louder, I was growing more frustrated by the second.
"She just needs a woman touch," Bella told me simply.
"Well I don't have a 'woman's touch'" I snapped back.
"Take off your shirt, she wanted to be as close to you as possible," She said in a huff.
Remembering my wedding vows to always obey Bella, I did as I was told; stripping my shirt off with one hand, while still holding onto Peyton. I sat back down with the bottle in hand ready for attempt 47; finally she started to feed, snuggled closely into my chest. It was the most beautiful thing to watch, she grunted silently as she guzzled the formula. Nothing had prepared me for this connection I felt.
-Turning Page-
We sat in the doctor's surgery, nervous as all hell. Today was the first of many ultrasounds; Bella was elated and couldn't wait to hear our little Jelly Beans heart beat. When we were finally called into the doctor's office, my heart started to race. What if something was wrong? What if the baby wasn't healthy?
After taking Bella's heart beat and blood tests it was time to finally hear our baby for the first time. Bella clutched my hand so tightly, her engagement ring started cutting into my hand.
"It's going to be okay, baby," I reassured her.
She shivered as the ultrasound jelly hit her stomach; the doctor smoothed it out with the special wand before turning to the small TV. After what felt like an eternity a fast womp womp womp sound came out of the speakers, my head snapped up looking at the screen.
"And that, Mr and Mrs Cullen is your baby's heartbeat," Our doctor told us, pointing to the screen at a small white dot indicating where our baby was.
From the moment we saw the positive EPT's I knew we were going to have a beautiful baby, but hearing our Jelly Beans heartbeat for the first time made me believe that sometimes miracles do happen.
-Turning Page-
Over the course of the next couple of days, Alice had taken up residence in our house, helping wherever possible with Peyton. On the days where it was all too much she would reassure me, she would sing Peyton to sleep, made sure I ate, answered the many phone calls. All in all she was like an angel sent from God.
On the day Peyton turned one week old she tip toed into my room, softly nudging me awake at 10:00am.
"Edward, you need to get up," She whispered.
I rolled over, throwing a pillow on my head. "I'm not ready Al," I sighed.
"I know, neither am I but it needs to be done," She said, shuffling around my room, pulling my best black suit out of my wardrobe and laying it on my bed. Throwing the covers off and pulling the pillow off my head.
"Edward, I've been treating you with kid gloves for the past week, but it's time you woke up. Bella needs you, I need you, Peyton needs you," She said with finality, flicking the lights on as she walked out the door.
I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and into the shower; I stood there for a good ten minutes before emerging fresh and clean. Looking in the mirror I saw a man I would have never recognised a week ago. My facial hair was well past the five o'clock shadow stage, my eyes almost blood shot. Could I really do this?
After obeying Alice's orders and getting dressed after a much needed shave, I walked out of the bedroom making a beeline for Peyton's nursery. Alice and Jasper were fussing over her, Alice was dressed in a simple black dress, her hair straightened into an elegant bob, and Jasper wore a dark gray suit and a black tie. They fastening the back of Peyton's dress, Alice had managed to find a dress small enough to fit her for the occasion; she had a small white headband wrapped around her head. For a baby she very rarely fussed.
Jasper came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder to ease my tension. "It's time," he said, leading me to the car.
I sat in the back next to Peyton the whole car ride; she sucked on my finger looking up at me with her deep green eyes. I now knew what Bella meant when she told me how captivating my eyes were.
Hurrying out of the car I ran to unfasten Peyton, I needed her strength today. Our families were all waiting for our arrival. Mom and dad greeted us, with a grave Charlie close behind, Emmett and Jasper had my flank as I walked up the stone steps. People mumbled to me as I passed. I tried not to listen.
"This way Edward," Alice sighed, following Rosalie down a small hall.
Walking slowly I followed the girls. I was sure I wasn't ready for this.
-Turning Page-
It was 10:30 at night; I was up watching 'trashy TV' as Bella called it, waiting for her to come home. Come to think of it she should have been home half an hour ago; it really didn't take too long to drive home from Charlies.
Just as a commercial for the Sham Wow appeared on my TV screen the telephone started ringing. Who'd be calling this late?
"Hello?" I asked curiously.
"Mr Cullen, it is Dr Carmen from Seattle Grace Hospital. I'm sorry but there has been a car accident, I need you to come down to the hospital," A voice called down the phone.
Numb, that was all I felt, surely there was a mistake, Bella would be home soon, she would walk right through the door laughing at something he dad has said over dinner.
"Mr Cullen?" Dr Carmen asked making sure I was still on the line.
"Yeah," I breathed.
"I need you to come down to the hospital, can you do that?"
"I'll be right there," I flung myself off the couch, throwing on my old U'Dub sweatshirt grabbing my keys and phone as I went.
As I drove to the hospital I dialled Alice's number. Aside from Alice being my twin sister, Bella and Alice had been best friends, long before we were even an item, Alice was the first person I wanted by my side tonight.
"Edward, what's wrong?" She asked groggily through the phone.
"Bella, I think. I need you to come to Seattle Grace Ally, please," I begged.
I didn't need to say any more, the phone line went dead and I was left with the silence of the night. I pulled up to the hospital just as Alice did, we stormed through the Emergency Ward together, and she held my hand the whole way. The Triage nurse directed the two of us to the emergency maternity ward; we didn't wait for directions instead running up a flight of stairs to be with Bella.
"Mr Cullen I assume," A blonde doctor asked as we made our way through the doors.
"Where's Bella?" I asked frantically.
My heart was pounding. Bella needed to be okay, Jelly Bean needed to be okay, I thought to myself. The blonde doctor led Alice and I to Bella's room, there were tubes and needles everywhere. Bella was in a sorry state, but I knew she had the strength to get through this, I knew because she was the strength that I had every day.
I looked down at her, picking up her small fragile hand. Tears stung my cheeks as I stood there.
I have never been one to pray, but in that moment I prayed for my life. I prayed that God would have mercy on my family that we would survive. I needed her to survive.
"Edward," Bella rasped, tiredly looking up to me.
"Baby? You're awake, thank god! I don't know what I'd do without you," I sobbed, kissing her cheek.
"I love you Edward, and He's going to be so loved," She whispered placing her hand on her stomach, smiling up at me.
Time stopped at that moment, she smiled and everything was okay. It wasn't until time resumed that everything started going wrong, her smile faulted, her heart beat went a millisecond later. She started to crash. Out of nowhere doctors and nurses were flying left right and centre, yelling at each other.
"Bella!" I yelled as I was shoved out of the way. "No! That's my wife, that's my baby," I cried helplessly.
Two doctors were trying to resuscitate Bella, while another three were performing an emergency caesarean for our baby. Through it all I couldn't hear a word that was uttered, that was until the cries of my daughter filled the room.
"Edward, it's a girl," Alice half sobbed half laughed.
-Turning Page-
"Here," I said to Alice, handing Peyton over to her before making my way over to Bella.
She looked so small, and so fragile laying there in a deep blue dress, her eyes closed. She wore her platinum wedding band on her left hand that was folded over her stomach. She seemed to be blissfully sleeping.
"We'll give you a second," Emmett said quietly, ushering people out of the viewing room.
I stood in silence for a couple of minutes, staring down at my angel. I hadn't realised I was crying until she spoke.
"Edward, I need you to take care of her," Bella whispered.
Shaking my head I whipped the tears from my eyes. "No, because you're meant to be here to help me," I contested.
Bella smiled up at me, "It wasn't meant to be. You're going to be a great father to her Edward, raise her right, love her, let her know the man I fell in love with, and let her know who I was. Sometimes we are given just enough to survive Edward, I know you can survive this, you have Peyton. And she needs you as well, be there for her," I sighed, how could I deny my Bella anything?
"And Edward, I want to amend my wedding vows, I will love you even when my heart stopped beating," She whispered.
We both closed our eyes together for one last time. I had to let her go.
-Turning Page-
"Edward, what are you doing up here? The sign says 'No Boys Allowed'," Alice snapped as I poked my head through the door to our tree house.
"Yeah Edward, No Boys!" Bella emphasised, giving me a cheeky 5 year old grin.
...
"Bella, wait up," I called as we walked home from school.
"What Edward?" she yelled back, she had so much attitude for a 13 year old.
"Geez chill, I just wanted to make sure you were okay after today. I know Jessica Stanley can be a bit of a bitch sometimes," I said trying to comfort her in the only way I knew how.
"I'm okay I guess," She sniffed, holding back her tears.
...
"Truth or Dare?" Emmett asked me.
"Dare," I told him bravely.
"Kiss Bella!" He boomed.
Our first kiss, it was the most awkward thing I had ever experience, we were 16 and there were about ten people watching us. Still she never faltered.
After a while everyone got back to the game, Bella and I stood holding hands staring at each other.
"Do you wanna be my girlfriend Bella?" I asked quickly.
She nodded in response sending me a small smile.
...
Green Day's Time of your life was playing, it was Senior Prom. Bella was clutching onto me for dear life as we danced, she was wearing a midnight blue floor length strapless gown, her hair fell around her shoulders. She was the most beautiful person I had ever laid eyes on.
As the song wound down, our dancing slowed. She looked up at me smiling.
"I love you Bella," I told her for the first time, kissing her on the nose.
...
"We did it!" Bella squealed, leaping into my arms, her hat flying off her head.
Today we graduated from College, her with a Major in Literary Science, and me majoring in Law. Our parents snapped picture after picture of us, one of the happiest moments in our lives.
...
We bought our first house, complete with a white picket fence.
...
I proposed to her on the 4th of July.
...
Our Wedding Day.
...
Our honey moon in Italy.
...
The day Bella became a Teacher.
...
Me graduating Law School.
...
We found out we were pregnant.
...
The sound of Peyton's first ultrasound.
...
Constructing a baby crib without instructions.
...
"I love you Edward," Bella whispered into the phone. "I'll be home soon I promise, I'm just leaving my dad's now,"
I could tell she was smiling through the phone, her voice always sounded different when she smiled.
I couldn't wait until she was home, to hug her and kiss her. More importantly I couldn't wait until I got to meet our baby and we would be family.
-Turning Page-
"Good bye Beautiful," I whispered one last time.
A/N – I needed to write this, despite the fact that it was actually really hard to write towards the end. I know the pain you go through when you lose someone you love, I have been there. I truly do believe though, we are given just enough to survive, I know I was.
All thoughts on my story are welcomed.
xx