Vegeta's cunning plan
Vegeta awoke early. It was to be another hard day's training. He had never grown tired of the endless training that plagued his life, and it was either that or get a job. Besides, the 26th Tenchaki Budokai was approaching and he was certain that this would be the year he would finally defeat Kakorat and prove his superior power. He rolled over and switched off his alarm, quickly pulling yesterday's date off his Saiyen quote of the day calendar. He read it slowly since he wasn't very good at reading. It said 'A Saiyan's power is only as great as his mind isn't'. He smiled at this. "Ha ha!" He exclaimed. "I must be the most powerful Saiyan in the universe". And with that, he left the house to begin the day's training.
Vegeta quickly re-entered the house after realising that leaving the house naked was not the done thing.
"What's your dad doing outside with no clothes on Trunks?" asked Goten.
"Beats me" replied his friend, and they flew off to tell Gohan.
On his way back to the bedroom, Vegeta noticed that Bulma was on the phone. Usually he would have paid no attention, since she spent 90% of her time doing said activity anyway, but he overheard the word 'Goku'.
"Oh Goku! You're such a kidder" said Bulma. "Yes. I know. It has been over a year now".
Vegeta listened carefully.
"Okay. It's a date then. We'll go out and look for them tomorrow Goku. I'll bring my scouter. Don't worry. We'll decide what to wish for once we have all seven dragonballs".
Vegeta thought long and hard. 'Hmm…Dragonballs…Tenchaki Budokai…defeating Kakorat'. Suddenly he had an idea. This was no small feat for a Saiyan. "Ha ha! I shall defeat you Kakorat!"
"Why are you naked honey?" asked Bulma.
"Shut up woman" he replied, and he went off to find some clothes.
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"You see kids, there are some people who enjoy the freedom of having no clothes on. They're called nudists."
"Oh" said Goten, still puzzled. Gohan was smart, but not very good at explaining things.
"Is that why you're naked now?" asked Trunks, assuming that under his covers, Gohan wasn't wearing anything.
"eh heh heh! Um…no! Some people just like to sleep naked you see eh heh heh! Why don't you go do some training now? I'll catch up with you later."
"Okay" said Goten, and the two young saiyans ran off.
"Do you think they knew I was here?" asked Videl, putting her head up from under the covers.
"I hope not" replied Gohan. Mom would ground me for life.
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Bulma looked under the sofa. "Not here either" she cried. "Where oh where could it be?"
She noticed Vegeta enter the room.
"Honey, have you seen my scouter?" she asked him.
He simply grunted and said "no" poised in his usual proud manner.
"Hmm… I have to make a phone call"
With that Vegeta flew out the house, taking the scouter out of his vest.
"Ha ha! Not just a pretty face" he smiled.
Inside the house Trunks and Goten had just ran in, almost skidding into Bulma.
"Careful Trunks" she said. "Oh! Have you seen mummy's scouter honey?"
"No" he replied, "but guess what? Dad's a noobist!"
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Vegeta tried impatiently to figure out how to use the 'blasted thing'. He didn't know what a kilometer was and the word was confusing him greatly. "Hmm…must be human talk for dragonball" he deduced. "Let's see. That means that there are 176 dragonballs about 2 centimeters from here." And he flew towards the ground. There were no dragonballs. He realised he had made a mistake but did not feel stupid since feeling stupid was actually feeling clever to a Saiyan. He noticed a man not too far away mowing his lawn, and flew over.
"You there. Man!"
"Who me?"
"Yes. You! Have you seen any kilometers around here?"
The man looked puzzled. "Say what?" he asked.
"Ki-lo-met-res! They're round, orange and have white stars on them"
"That's not what a kilometer is" the man replied. "A kilometer is a unit of distance."
"Oh" replied Vegeta and noticed on the scouter that there was a flashing dot less that a kilometer away.
"I do have something that looks like the object you were describing though" continued the man, and he took a dragonball out his pocket. It was shiny, orange and had 5 white stars on it.
"Yes! That's what I'm looking for. Gimme it!" demanded Vegeta.
"Why?" asked the man
"Because if you don't I'll kill you" replied Vegeta and with that, a small pulse of energy flew out his hand and destroyed the lawn mower. The man stood motionless, his mouth wide open. Vegeta took the dragonball from his hand and placed it in his pocket.
"This is easier than taking candy from a baby" he laughed.
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Dende stood at the edge of his floating….thing (for want of a better word) in the sky. He looked very worried.
"Dende, what's wrong?" came a voice from behind him. It was Mr Popo. Dende did not like Popo as much as Kami had but pretended to because…well because…um…he didn't know why he pretended to like Popo, but he did anyway.
"Something's wrong" replied Dende. "I can't quite figure out what though."
"Would you like me to give you a massage?" asked Popo excitedly.
"No" answered Dende, "It's coming to me now. Yes! I see it clear. Vegeta is looking for the dragonballs"
"Oh" said Popo.
"That shouldn't be a problem though" continued Dende. "You put a lock on the balls. Noone can summon the dragon without a password now Popo"
Popo looked worried.
"You did put the lock on the balls didn't you Popo?" asked Dende.
Popo had a blank expression on his face.
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"Ha ha!" laughed Vegeta. Three shiny dragonballs reflected their light onto his face from his hands. "Only…um...let's see. Carry the two…subtract the…oh yes! Only four more balls to find!".
With that he landed and sat down for a rest. The calculation had tired him out. He heard a noise and saw a man walking about 10 meters away.
"You! Man!" he shouted.
"who me?" asked the man.
"Yes you! Do you have any dragonballs?"
"no"
"I don't believe you."
"what's a dragonball?"
"Remove your clothing. I wish to see for myself that you have no dragonballs on you."
The man stared blankly for a second and continued walking. A small blast inches from his leg stopped him.
"I said…remove your clothing" said Vegeta angrily from his spot on the ground.
"Yes sir! Anything you say sir!" replied the man, and he quickly threw his clothes off.
"Hmm…It appears you were telling the truth" said Vegeta disappointed, and the man ran off, leaving his clothes behind him.
Vegeta flew off with renewed confidence. Failure only served to heighten a Saiyan's determination.
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Trunks fell to the ground. A huge crater marked his fall around him. "Hey, no fair! You cheated!" he shouted. Goten flew to the ground. "How?" he asked.
"You said you wouldn't use a kamehameha"
"No I didn't"
"Liar! Hey, what are you looking at now?" Trunks noticed that Goten's head had turned towards the forest. He in turn looked also. A naked man was running, screaming in terror through the trees.
"Another noobist." Exclaimed Goten.
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Goku started and finished his breakfast at 7.34 exactly. "Mmm mmm! Chi Chi, that was the best 5 course meal you've ever cooked!"
"I'm glad you liked it honey" she replied. "So what are you going to do today?"
"Um…I had something to do. I'll check my calendar. He went over to the wall and noticed he had not yet read the quote of the day. 'A Saiyan's power is only as great as his mind isn't' he read. "Hmm…I don't get it", he pondered over it for a minute then noticed there was a word scribbled on the page. 'Dragonballs' it said. "I wonder what that could mean" he thought aloud and went to the fridge to look for a snack.
The phone rang. Goku went to answer it.
"Hello. Son Goku speaking" he said.
A frantic voice boomed down the phone. "Goku! I can't find my scouter anywhere!"
Goku looked back at the calendar and remembered what it was he had to do. "Who is this?" he asked
"It's Bulma!" came the reply.
"Oh yeah! Don't worry Bulma. I still have mine. I'll bring it over and we'll start the search in three hours."
"Three hours? Why not now?" she asked.
"I have something to do first" he answered and put down the phone to continue his quest for a snack.
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"Um…that means….um…err…carry the one…2 balls to find!" Vegeta was very pleased with himself, more for figuring out the calculation in under five minutes rather than for finding five dragonballs so quickly. He looked at the scouter. There was a dot flashing not too far away. He flew in the direction of the dot and watched it get further and further away. "Oops!" he said, and turned around.
It only took him ten minutes until the dot was in the center of the screen. This meant the dragonball was very close. He flew to the ground and started the search. His surroundings puzzled him greatly; There was nothing. Nothing. Nothing that is, except for a small tree. A few minutes of standing around produced no results, so he went over to the tree. It was a thin tree, no leaves and only a few branches. The air was very dry and the land looked like it hadn't seen rain for years, which would explain the condition of the tree. He noticed a nest on one of the branches. Peering into it, he saw 4 eggs, Nothing else. On closer inspection however, one of the eggs gave off a shiny orange glow. "What sort of a strange bird would make an egg like that?" he asked and walked away. A huge shadow covered the ground, growing in all directions. Vegeta looked up.
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Trunks looked up. A flash of gold light was flying at great speed towards him and Goten. It landed beside them and took the form of Goku. "Hey kids" he said. "Is Bulma around?"
"She's in the house" replied Trunks.
"Thanks" said Goku and waved goodbye as he entered the house. It was a large sitting room and Bulma was sat on the sofa in the center, talking on the phone. She didn't notice Goku enter.
"Hey Bulma" he said, approaching her from behind.
"Oh, hey Goku!" she said, surprised to see him. "I'm surprised to see you"
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, you're an hour early" she answered.
"Oh yeah! HA ha! We ran out of food I guess and I had nothing better to do".
"Oh! Did you bring your scouter?"
"Yeah, got it right here". Goku reached into his pocket and brought out a round object.
"Goku, that's a donut" exclaimed Bulma. Goku simply looked at the object, analysed it once more and began to consume it.
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The huge pteradactyl simply stared at Vegeta at first. It landed on a branch of the tree and was obviously still floating to an extent, because the branch did not collapse under its weight. It pulled back its wings and prepared to fly at Vegeta. Vegeta was not phased. He fired a big bang attack towards the dinosaur and destroyed it. "See you in the next dimension" he laughed. The nest lay on the ground in pieces. Three of the eggs had smashed against the ground, the 4th orange one was still intact. It was then that Vegeta noticed the bright star shining in the center of it. "Hmm…" he thought "This egg is very unusual indeed. How did it not break?" He picked it up and put it in his pocket. "I'll take it to Bulma. Maybe she can explain it since she's a sci…sci…she studies things for a living." With that he flew off to look for the final dragonball.
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Chi Chi noticed the door open. In walked Goku and Bulma. The latter frantically ransacked the house, throwing drawers open, tossing over furniture and finally found what she was looking for. She held it up to Goku. "What is this?" she asked. Goku took the object and put it in his mouth.
"NO!" screamed Bulma. "That's a scouter! See? No hole! Hole=donut. Get it?"
"Um…yeah" he replied.
Chi Chi had no idea what was going on. "Gohan, are you studying?" she shouted up the stairs.
"Yes mom!" came the reply, and the strange thumping noise that had been going on all day stopped.
"Bye Chi Chi! We're off to find the dragonballs." Said Goku, leaving the house.
"What are you going to wish for this time? she asked"
"Um…Donuts" he replied, and earned a look of contempt from his partner.
A flash of light flew past the pair as they left the house. Most people would have thought it was a shooting star. They both knew better.
"Looks like Vegeta's going home" said Goku.
"That reminds me. I'll have to ask him what a noobist is" said Bulma.
Although they couldn't hear him, Vegeta was laughing in the sky. HE had found another dragonball, and mysteriously, the egg he had found had turned into a dragonball also. He would wait till morning, then he would summon the dragon and make his wish.
Bulma looked at the scouter. "That's funny. It says all seven balls are in the same place and are moving."
"Maybe I broke it when I tried to eat it" suggested Goku.
"Yeah, we'd better go inside and try to fix it" said Bulma, and they re-entered the house.
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Vegeta awoke happy. He had set the scouter to sound an alarm if the balls started to move from their safe location. He had hid them in the microwave. Luckily, they had not moved. He looked over at Bulma. She looked very tired and restless. "Woman" he sneered and pulled the last day off his calendar. He read it slowly. It said 'Be careful what you wish for Vegeta'. He took no notice of it and got dressed before leaving the house. He then re-entered the house, took the dragonballs and jumped as an extremely loud noise went off in his pocket. "Blasted scouter!" he said, and flew off before it woke anyone up.
He chose a nice quiet spot in the desert to land. There was noone around and noone would suspect a thing. "Right. How do these things work?" he asked himself as he lay the balls down together. They began to shine brightly and the sky turned black as the huge figure of Shen Long filled it. He was very impressive. Stood 100ft tall and was very intimidating.
"What is your wish?" he growled in a very deep voice.
"Vegeta thought hard. "Hmm…I knew this one yesterday"
"Come on. I haven't got all day" said the dragon eventually.
He finally remembered. "I wish to have the power to beat Kakorat in the World martial arts tournament" he said.
"I can't hear you" said the dragon. "You'll have to speak up."
Vegeta flew up to the dragon's face. "I WISH TO HAVE THE POWER TO BEAT KAKORAT IN THE WORLD MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT!" he shouted.
"Who is Kakorat?" asked the dragon.
"The one you call Goku" he replied.
"Oh! Him! Yeah, I know Goku. Nice guy" said the dragon,
"So can I have my wish or not?" asked Vegeta, impatiently.
"No" replied the dragon. "I cannot give anyone power greater than my own."
"What???" asked Vegeta. He could not believe that all the work he had done had been for nothing.
"Calm down" continued the dragon. "I can still sort it so that you can beat Goku in the tournament. I can't give you extra power, but I can take away all your power until the fight and improve it over time. You will be powerless until your battle with Goku, but when the battle starts, your power will be twice what it is now".
"Hmm… that sounds interesting. I'll do it" said Vegeta.
"You do realise that you'll be the weakest person on the planet until the fight, don't you?" cautioned the dragon. "The slightest touch can put you into a coma."
"Whatever" said Vegeta. The only words he had heard concerned defeating Goku. "DO IT NOW DRAGON!"
"Very well" replied the dragon and granted his wish. Vegeta did not feel any less powerful, but he was. His skill and abilities remained. His ki had just been drained.
"Ha ha!" said Vegeta. "This sacrifice is for a noble cause."
"What is your second wish?" asked the dragon.
"I get two wishes?" asked Vegeta.
"Yes"
"Hmm…I wish for a million wishes"
"I can't do that"
"Can I wish to kill someone?"
"No"
"can I wish to bring someone back to life?"
"No"
"Then what can I wish for?"
"I can grant you a free clothes repair and dry cleaning ticket. I know how you saiyans are always messing up your clothes."
"I'll get back to you"
Vegeta flew off mid sentence.
"Wait! I can't leave till someone makes the second wish!" shouted the dragon, but it was too late.
Shortly afterwards, a small, fat, bald man went walking through the desert. He was confused to see a massive dragon fill the area.
"What is your wish?" asked the dragon.
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"Goku honey, come over here" said Chi chi. "I want you to see what's on the news"
"In a minute Chi chi" he shouted back, and went on eating his breakfast. Chi Chi was watching the tv. She was caught up in the story that was currently being shown on the news. A small, fat, bald man was being interviewed by a reporter.
"So tell us again how you became a billionaire" said the reporter, shoving the mic under the man's face.
"I…um…found the money. Yeah! That's right! I found it in an envelope in the street"
"you found "$100,000,000,000 in an envelope?" asked the reporter, very confused.
"Yeah. You got a problem with that?"
"No, but shouldn't you hand it in to the police?"
"No" replied the man.
Goku looked over at Chi chi. "Turn the tv down a bit. I can't hear myself eat"
The phone rang. It was Bulma.
"Goku, have you seen Vegeta today?" she asked as Goku answered the phone.
"No. Why?" he asked in reply.
"Well, he's been acting very strangely lately and I haven't seen him all day.
"Hmm….Vegeta always acts kinda strange. I'll keep an eye out for him. Bye Bulma." He put the phone down and noticed that he hadn't updated his calendar yet. He pulled the last day off it. The quote read 'Saiyans never consider the consequences of their actions'.
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Vegeta landed carefully. He realised how fragile his body now was and took every precaution to prevent any damage occurring to it. He knew this meant no training, but that didn't matter anymore. Come the tournament, he would be powerful enough to defeat several Gokus. Trunks came running towards him.
"Hi dad!" he said.
"Careful!" cried Vegeta, jumping a safe distance away from his son. Trunks was very unpredictable and he couldn't risk injury. "Don't come any closer. Don't touch me!" Trunks looked very confused. He shrugged his shoulders and ran off to play with Goten. Vegeta entered the house.
Bulma was on the phone. She was just hanging up as Vegeta arrived. "Oh hi Vegeta" she said. "I was just asking Goku if he'd seen you." Vegeta grunted. She walked over to him.
"Don't touch me!" he shouted in a panic, and ran off into the bedroom. Bulma shrugged her shoulders and ran off to play with Goten.
Later that day Vegeta decided to go for a walk. He was constantly looking over his shoulder, looking to avoid all human contact at all costs. It was the one time he didn't look back that he should have. A man bumped into him from behind. Vegeta screamed in agony. His arm had been broken. He looked round to see a man facing him.
"Aaaarrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!! You're the freak from yesterday!" screamed the man. Vegeta recognised him as the man he had forced to strip for him. The man ran screaming in one direction, while Vegeta ran screaming in the other.
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A month passed and it was time for the bandages to be removed. Vegeta slowly unwrapped the bandage that had been tightly wrapped around his arm. He then removed the bandage on his leg, the casts, the crutch, the neck brace, the head bandage, the shoulder and knee pads he had worn for protection(the same objects that caused several of his injuries), the back support, the mouth guard, and he stood up from his padded wheelchair for the first time in a fortnight. His wounds had healed, his bones re-formed and he was only in a moderate amount of pain now. He did not care though, for today was the World Martial Arts Championship. The day he had been waiting for for almost fifteen years. The day he would finally defeat Goku once and for all. He pulled the last day off his calendar and read the next quote: 'Saiyan is as Saiyan does'. He sneered at it and set off for the island where the tournament would take place.
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Goku laughed whole-heartedly. "Ha ha! Saiyan is as saiyan does!" he cried, although he did not fully understand it. He waited for his breakfast to digest before flying off towards the island. He soon caught up with Vegeta who did not look in very good shape. "Hey Vegeta, he said" "Why are you flying so slow?"
"None of your business Kakorat" he replied.
"Oh! See you in the tournament then" said Goku, and flew off ahead.
"Not for long though" smiled Vegeta.
The competitors gathered and began the draw for the tournament. All the Z fighters were there. Krillan, Goku, Gohan, Goten, Trunks, #18, Piccolo, Vegeta and Videl. They had a makeshift reunion until it was their turn to draw a number. A large, muscular man in a caveman-like uniform drew a number from the box. It was 13. "Ug" he said. Another man approached the box and drew a number. He was small and purple. He drew number 4. Several more competitors drew, including Krillan and Goku. Krillan drew 6 and Goku drew 12. Then it was time for the champ to draw. "Ha ha!" came a booming voice from the entrance to the arena. "Make way for the greatest warrior in the world!" it said, and a large man clothed in a violet karate outfit appeared from the shadows. He had an afro and a large moustache. His strong chin drooped several feet from his face and his arms shook wildly in the air. He sported the champion's belt around his waist and eyed the competitors suspiciously. He scanned the fighters, relatively calm, until he noticed the Z fighters. His eyes widened. 'Oh no! Not these guys again! I hope I don't have to fight any of them. Please don't let me have to fight any of them!' he thought to himself. He noticed a few funny looks glancing his way and quickly rectified the problem. "Ha ha! I'm the greatest!" he shouted, and shook his hands above his head. He walked proudly over to the box and drew a number, making a show as he did so. He pulled out a ball and showed it to the man in charge of keeping track of the fights. "Hercule has drawn number 7!" said the man, and the champ grinned. Videl was next. She drew 2, and Piccolo drew 5. Finally it was Vegeta's turn. He did not worry as he knew which number he was going to draw. Goku was 12 so he would be 11. Reaching into the box he pulled out a ball and showed it to the man. "Vegeta is number 8!" said the man. Vegeta smiled before realising that 8 and 11 were different numbers. 'How could this be?' he asked himself. It was then that he realised he hadn't asked the dragon to make sure he would fight Goku in the tournament. He had only assured that when he did fight Goku, he would win. Gohan drew number 11.
"See you in the ring son" said Goku, and two went off together. Vegeta looked at the board. He was to fight Hercule. "Wow! You've got it easy dad!" said Trunks, and ran off to play with Goten.
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The first three matches were doozies. Videl defeated a weak martial artist by the name of Haribo, #18 defeated the small, purple guy, and Piccolo defeated his opponent. "Go get 'em Vegeta" said Goku. They all laughed at the thought of the 'champ' having to face a Saiyan who has trouble controlling his anger. "Um…right" said Vegeta, and walked nervously through the door. Hercule walked beside him. He was very nervous as he remembered Vegeta from the year before, and was sure he had seen him in the Cell Games. The two men entered the ring and stood poised, facing each other. Hercule knew he could not defeat Vegeta and so started pacing around him. Vegeta, afraid that Herucle was going to launch an attack at any moment started pacing also. And so the fight went on like this for twenty five minutes until the announcer reminded them that they only had five minutes left or they would both be disqualified. The Z fighters were confused and the audience members who had not yet fallen asleep were very bored. "Come on Hercule!" someone screamed from the audience. This invoked similar chants in number from the entire audience. 'Oh no' thought Hercule' what am I going to do? I can't let these people know how weak I am.' He threw up his arms and shouted "Yeah! I'm the greatest!", still extremely nervous. The time to act was now. He had to do something. With only one minute left on the clock, he threw caution to the wind with a weak punch in Vegeta's direction. Vegeta quickly dodged it, but the force exerted by the punch caused the air to blow him out of the ring. The announcer entered the arena and lifted Hercule's hand. "Hercule is the winner!" he announced. The Z fighters could not believe it. Hercule could not believe it. Vegeta could not believe it when he came out of his coma three days later. "Who…won?" he managed to utter the second he woke up. "I did" replied Goku, and with that Vegeta fell asleep, having learned no lesson whatsoever.. Goku had learned a valuable lesson: Donuts have holes. Trunks and Goten had learned what nudists were, and Dende had learned never to trust Mr Popo again. And so they left Vegeta to rest. He would have to wait a year to wish his power back from the dragon, or convince Goku to fight him. Now was not the time though since Goku had food to finish off. Trunks and Goten left to play a new game they called noobists, and Bulma was running up a huge phone bill. In his sleep, Vegeta dreamed of defeating Goku. A soft smile appeared on his face as he slept off his defeat and wondered what the next day would bring.