Run to Me

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He wanted, more than anything, to leave his grandfather and go to her. He wanted to hold her in his arms and beg her to come back home. He wanted to tell her he was sorry for pushing her away and promise to never let her go again. But he couldn't. His life was too dangerous for her, she wasn't safe with him and he could no longer ignore or deny it.

Edward finished talking and extended his hand. Jason shook it, having barely heard the other man's words, and stood quickly. He needed air, now. As he walked towards the terrace he paused and looked over at the woman he couldn't stop thinking about. The longer he stared at Sam the more he felt like he was suffocating, suffocating under how much he loved her and how much he needed her. After a moment the pain and regret became too much for Jason to handle and he turned away.

He walked slowly out onto the terrace and gripped the railing to stop his hands from shaking. This is where his life had almost ended; this is where Sam had been shot. If he would have lost her that night, if she would have died…. He couldn't think about it, the pain was too much. The thought of living in a world without Samantha McCall terrified him. He couldn't imagine never again passing her on the streets, hearing her laugh, or seeing her smile. When she had been shot, that nightmare had almost become his reality. He remembered the feeling of her going limp in his arms, how quickly her beautiful complexion paled, and the blood that stained his hands. He knew that if Sam had died that night he would have followed her. He had no idea how to live his life without her anymore. Everyday had been agony without her. But as much as it killed him to watch her from afar it was better than knowing that she was dead, forever out of his reach. So Jason had walked away. It was the only way to keep her safe and alive…right?

Suddenly Jason sensed Sam's presence, though she made no sound. He turned around and looked into her brown eyes, the eyes he loved so much. She was even more stunning standing before him than she had been across the restaurant. She took his breath away in sweatpants and a t-shirt. As he stared at her now, in a beautiful white dress, he wondered if his heart was even beating. How could he walk away from her? How could he find the strength to once again leave her? She was his life, the woman he wanted to marry, and here she was, standing before him in a white dress…but she had been shot in a white dress.

With that thought Jason turned away from Sam. He could no longer look into her eyes that were so full of longing, love, and determination. He was aware that she was speaking but he heard none of her words. He had seen in her eyes that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. She wasn't going to let him walk away. He had to make her see that they couldn't be together, that she had to let him walk away.

An idea came to him and he moved away from her and at his movement Sam stopped talking. As Jason's plan solidified he willed himself to get through it. She would see why he had walked away; she would understand. He turned towards her again but avoided her eyes.

"Run to me," he said.

"What?" Sam replied confused.

"Just run…run into my arms like you did that night."

Sam didn't move from her spot and Jason felt his resolve slipping.

"Just run to me!" he yelled desperately.

This time Sam responded and ran towards Jason as he opened his arms and embraced her. He lifted her off the ground as he held onto her tightly, turning slightly. He took in every aspect of this moment: the way she smelled, how tightly she held onto him, the silkiness of her hair and the way she fit so perfectly into his arms. Jason lived fully in this moment, letting himself feel, for the last time, the total and absolute love he had for Samantha McCall. This one, perfect moment he committed to memory as he willed himself to do what was right, right for her and agony for him.

Jason slowly set Sam down, resting his left hand on her lower back and his right hand on the edge of the balcony in order to stop it from going to cheek or snaking into her hair as it had done so many times before. Sam's hands rested on his chest as he looked away from her and gently pressed on the small of her back.

"This is where you were shot," he said feeling Sam's eyes on him. "In your lower back, it went through your abdomen. If I'd been holding you three inches lower," Jason traced his hand up Sam's spine and pressed again, "the bullet would have hit you here and it would have severed your spine, gone through your heart, and you would have died in my arms that night."

He pulled away from Sam slightly and, having gained more resolve as he spoke, looked into the eyes of the woman he loved.

"Do you really understand…that your life could be over, that you could be dead just because you ran in…to my arms? I'm sorry, I can't let that happen." Jason looked away briefly as the pain of his next words hit him. "If I…continue to love you it could…. So I can't…" he said as his heart shattered. "I can't love you anymore."

Jason closed his eyes for a split second as the pain threatened to consume him. As he turned and walked away from Sam a groan escaped his lips as he ran his fingers through his hair. He forced himself to keep walking, to make it to the stairs without stopping or looking back at Sam. If he looked back, he would see her red eyes, the tears on her cheeks and the brokenness in the way she stood. If he turned around he would be once again struck by her beauty; even crying Samantha McCall was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He knew that if he looked back he wouldn't be able to resist going to her. He would run to her and take her in his arms, beg her to forgive him for saying he could no longer love her. Despite everything he had just told her he needed Sam. She was everything to him and these last weeks had been nothing but pain and darkness without her. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved Sam and he would love her for the rest of his life. He wanted to spend his life with her, to wake up every day with her in his arms. He wanted to start a family with her, to watch a life they had created grow inside her. He wanted to spend quiet nights with her looking at the stars and to hold her close as they danced in the living room. He wanted Sam now and forever. She was everything he never knew he wanted. She had given him dreams he never imagined he could have. Sam had been the reason for his dreams. Before her he never imagined the future but after she came into his life that was all he could do.

He knew, that in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred different worlds and in any version of reality he would find Sam and he would always choose her. She was his life…but this wasn't about what he wanted. It wasn't even about what Sam wanted because he knew she wanted all those things too. This was about keeping her safe and alive. Her life mattered so much more than his happiness.

So he kept walking; he left without looking back. He exited the Metro Court and got on his bike. As he drove away he realized he had not only left Sam on the balcony but also his heart. He left the future he never knew he wanted and was now out of his reach. As he rode out of Port Charles he left everything he had with Sam. She was the only thing in this world he wanted and the one thing he could never again have.