Disclaimer: I do not own FMA…

Warning: Hints of Roy x Ed shounen-ai, cross-dressing, and total randomness.

A/N: I got this idea when I was daydreaming… I want to give some credits to Kimura Yuki for helping me with this… Thanks! This is my first FMA fic. So be nice on me! Thanks!

Edited: I'm reading this and it's too rushed and... Eh, I just don't like it. Hope this time it's longer and makes the whole story more interesting (edited on April 14, '07)

The Disastrous Mission

Prologue

"Sigh. This is so boring." Roy Mustang stared at his stack of papers.

The sky outside is pouring, and Roy could swear that there was a flash of lightning. He was forced to sit in his desk signing stupid papers that has nothing interesting on them. It's either about the amount of alchemists wandering about, or other things about politics that he shouldn't have been involved with in the first place. Damn him and his curiosity.

"Sigh". He turned back to his papers.

Ever since Edward Elric had become the Fullmetal Alchemist, he had caused a lot of trouble that eventually became Roy's stack of papers. Basically, Roy got all the complaints on the young alchemist, and he was ordered to fix up the problems that were caused by said alchemist.

But although they were annoying and bothersome, they were very entertaining to read. It had lightened up his day by thinking that he could tease the young alchemist when he comes back to give his report.

After the Edward was able to control himself and cause lesser trouble (credit to Alphonse), his papers had returned to its normal boringness. If only there was something that he could do to spend his time…

xxx

Riza Hawkeye neatly stacked up the papers that her supervisor needs to sign by the next day. The process of paper-signing has slowed down, and she is getting quite irritated.

"I gave him those papers to sign last week! It does not take long to sign those papers." Riza angrily slammed another report on the already-tall stack of papers. The force caused the stack to topple down. "Shit."

"Did I just hear Hawkeye swear? Wow, it must be the end of the world!" Riza turned around and glared at Hughes.

"Shut it, Hughes. You don't want me to get even more pissed off, do you?" She reached down and grabbed her gun. Hughes raised his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay, I get it. I won't tease you. Now would you mind telling me what has caused our little Riza-chan to take her anger on these innocent sheets of paper?" He waved a random piece of paper around to prove his point. Riza glared harder. Hughes just laughed at her. Sighing, Riza bent down and collected the papers.

"If you have so much time wandering around the headquarters, why don't you come and help me restack these?" Chuckling, Hughes crouched down to look at her.

"One word: Why?"

"I need to give these to Colonel to sign. They're due tomorrow and he still hasn't finished signing one single document. And if you don't help me, I'll use you as target practice."

"Heh, you have to know, Riza, that you can never force our dear Roy to do anything that includes a pen, a paper, and signing. It's like sugar and water. They don't mix." Collecting the last document, she stood up and headed towards Roy's office.

"I know. Well, I'm going to give these to him… and make sure he finishes them." She knocked on the door. "Oh, and by the way, that's the wrong metaphor. It is oil and water. Not sugar and water."

xxx

"Rrriiizzzaa! I don't want to sign these stupid papers. Can't Maes help me? Maes! I know you're standing outside my door!"

"Sir, signing these papers is part of your job. And no, Hughes cannot help you. It's your job, your work, and is your responsibility." She put the stack of papers on his desk. Hughes walked in.

"Yo, Roy! Heh, aww, does little-cutie-Roy-chan needs help wif signing his littwle papews?"

"Shut up, Maes. I'm NOT cute, nor am I small!" Roy pouted. Hughes just laughed at him. He walked over and leaned over Roy's chair.

"Hey, if you're really that bored, I have an idea in mind that you could do…" He whispered his plan to Roy.

"Hey, Hughes! Don't distract him from his work!"

"…girl…"

"Mustang!"

"That's…"

"Hey! Hughes!"

"Heh."

"Don't you think that's such a good plan? Now we just need someone to do this to…" Roy and Hughes laughed evilly. Annoyed with both men in the room, Riza shot her gun at the ceiling. Distracted, the two men looked at Riza.

"What is it, Riza?"

"Aw, put that gun away now... We won't do anything… yet…" Veins appeared on the woman's forehead, and she aimed her gun at the men.

"Out, Hughes. GET OUT."

"Eh, okay okay… Well, I'm gonna go now, Roy… let's talk about this later. Heh." Roy's eyes sparkled like a new child who just found a new toy.

"Great. Then I'll see you at lunch."

"Right. Then I'll wait for you at the entrance-"

"OUT, HUGHES, OUT." Chuckling, Hughes left the office. Riza directed her glare at Roy. Roy visibly gulped.

"Um, Lt. Hawkeye, don't you think I deserve a nice break? I have finished a few stacks already." Riza stared at the stacks of paper on the desk.

"Sir, there are… at least 8 stacks of paperwork, each with 200 documents. This is at least 1600 documents you need to read over and sign. So before you have a break, you should at least finish half the pile. Don't you think?" The lazy Colonel Mustang sank into his seat.

"Come on, Riza-chan. Give your cute Roy a break."
"Don't call me 'Riza-chan'."

"Aw, but it fits your name… Did you want me to call you 'Ri-chan'?" Roy pouted.

Riza sighed. She can never win against his pout. It was just too cute. Cute? Where did that come from? She sighed. It must be the stress.

"By the way, Sir, the Elric brothers are coming back this afternoon to report."

"Really? They're coming back today?" His eyes sparkled in delight. Riza raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes… they're coming today…"

"Great! Hm… Good job for telling me that…hehehe…" Riza sighed. She pitied the Elric brothers. Whatever the stupid Colonel is going to get them do, it's not going to be good.

"Sir, I think that you should be finishing up the paperwork before you even think of doing anything. I'll tell the others to not disturb you work from now on. I'll take my leave now, Sir." Riza saluted to Roy and made to leave his office. At the door, Roy stopped her.

"Hey, Ri-chan?" Sighing, she turned back to her officer.

"Yes?" She just knew that what she would be hearing next would leave her speechless. Especially the way how he just smiled that smile, that smile that just looked plain evil.

"Do you think Edward looks girly enough?" Riza stared.

"Edward is a teenager who is still growing."

"But do you think he looks girly?" She paused to think. Yes, of course, with his feminine features and that small body… Edward Elric could pass off as a girl anytime. And then it suddenly clicked to her. She grinned.

"If you want to do that, you have to finish those stacks of documents first before you do anything. If you can't finish them by noon, then I'm going to prevent you from doing anything to him. You better finish your work, Colonel."

Roy groaned… damn… He glared at the stacks of paper. Stupid paper.

T.B.C

Even though this chapter and the next one isn't really interesting, it gets more interesting on chapter 3, so please continue read!

Edit: Mhm, so I changed this and made it longer… so, please review and tell me what you think!