Title: Till She's Gone
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Ricky/Adrian
Genre: Angst/Romance
Warning: For you saps, tissues at the end, maybe?
Point of view: Ricky Underwood.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Secret Life of the American Teenager characters in any way, shape, or form. I just do maaah thing with them.
Summary: …you never know what you have till it's gone… 'The sounds of screeching tires, shattering glass and Adrian's shrill screams filled my ears "I love you," she whispered. Then I drowned in darkness.' Ricky/Adrian, one shot.
A/N: Hey my lovelies! Here's another one shot for you. Once again, it's a Radrian and I hope you guys like it. Leave me some love; it truly makes me smile.
This one-shot is un-beta'd for now.
.
It's January; six months from July. Adrian's counting down the days till our wedding, I just can't wait to make her all mine.
Not saying that she isn't already; I just am anxious to make it more official.
She's sitting at the kitchen table with her mom, ranting on about wedding dress prices and how she wants the special fit. Every few minutes, she takes her gaze away from her mom and the wedding venue brochures, just to glance down at the diamond ring on her engagement finger.
I smile every time, because she looks genuinely happy.
John then takes me out of my trance of watching Adrian when he hits me in the head with his toy car.
"Dad," he says sternly. "You said you would play with me."
I laugh and then grab a car as well, then make vrooooooooooooom sounds to appease him, but I make them quiet because little Sarah is clutching my shirt, fast asleep.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Adrian smile at us.
It's February.
Adrian's holding me while I silently sob because my mom died and I swear I'm having a mental break down. My mom is literally…gone.
She's not gone for the night to get high or drunk, or staying at the hotel because her and my dad got in a fight. She's not fucking another guy or just at work for a while, nor is she in jail.
She's gone; for good. I'm sad, but not devastated, because you can't miss someone you barely knew.
It just hurts; because she was my mom. Even after everything, she's still my mom and the past is the past and I can't change it, but she still loved me. I know that now.
It would be worse if Adrian weren't holding me, and I knew that. So I holder her closer, harder, and then I need her. She is hesitant, saying I'm not in the right frame of mind.
I tell her I need to feel; she agrees.
But I don't just have sex with her; I make love to her, because I feel closer to her that way.
It's March.
Adrian's arguing with Ben on the phone over custody of Sarah, and she mutters how she wishes she would have done this sooner. Little Sarah is three and a half and they still haven't had any custody battle of any sort.
Court is on Monday and Adrian seems nervous. I know she wants her on the weekdays, but so does Ben. It's hard and I know that from personal experience, I just wish he would let her have Sarah on the weekdays. I know what Ben is going through, but I also watch Adrian go through this, and it's hard.
I call him after Adrian hangs up. He says he's busy and he'll call me later; he's lying and I call him out on it, then we talk for a long time.
He's mad about having to go to court, I'm mad too but I know it's for the better.
It's a sunny Monday morning and we're leaving the court room. Adrian gets Sarah on Sunday's, Monday's, Tuesdays Wednesday's, while Ben gets her on Thursdays, Friday's and Saturdays. Ben and Adrian both agreed on this schedule.
I hold her hand as we walk out, with Sarah and John at our sides then I suggest we go for ice-cream. Adrian grins because I know it's her favourite thing to do.
I just wanted to see her smile. I haven't seen it all day and I missed it.
It's April.
Adrian is doing homework for University, and I'm watching television after a long day at work. We both don't have the kids tonight and I'm bored out of my mind.
Adrian excuses herself to use the washroom and I flip through the channels absentmindedly. A few minutes later, I hear my name faintly being called from upstairs. I raise my eyebrow questioningly, and then follow the melodic voice that is chanting my name.
Down the long hallway, past the empty bathroom, and into my bedroom is a half clothed Adrian, playing with her chocolate curls on the bed innocently. I let out a caveman grunt and immediately throw off my shirt.
I need to feel her skin on mine.
I pull down my pants and crawl in between her legs, making myself at home. I kiss her everywhere because she's gorgeous and lick-able. I pull her closer and she wraps her toned legs around my waist and I feel her heat. I roughly crash my lips against hers, and roughly push my tongue in her mouth.
She tastes like vanilla and cookies. I like it.
"I love you. I need you," she breaths in my ear.
I happy oblige.
Afterwards, I whisper "I love you too," because I forgot to tell her earlier.
It's May.
We're in our backyard with the kids and their grandparents, having a barbeque. Ben and Amy are invited and they both show up with their new significant others.
I'm glad both Amy and Ben are happy.
I flip the burgers when I feel her wrap her arms around me, "Whatcha cookin' good lookin?" she says cheekily and I laugh.
We all eat and afterwards sit around the bond-fire for dessert and coffee. Adrian sits on the ground between my legs and I swear to god, if she moves one more time I'm grabbing her and going upstairs to have my way with her.
We all talk about anything from the weather to schooling, the children or we remember the old times we shared.
We all have a good time but it's even better because the women I love is in my sweater, and the ring I bought her for our engagement is on her finger, while she cradles our kids (even though Sarah is my step-daughter and John is her step-son, we love them regardless) and we are in the backyard of our home.
I've always wanted this; I just didn't think I deserved it. I don't feel that way anymore, I just don't think I deserve anyone like Adrian.
She's perfect; did I mention she's also mine?
It's June.
Our wedding is one month away and I'm nervous.
Everything is happening so quickly. The days go by faster than usual and I feel like our time together is limited. I don't know why though, I just have that feeling and I can't shake it. I tell Adrian this one night while we lie in bed and she assures me that I'm imaging things because we have the rest of our lives together. I believe her but the feeling doesn't seem to want to go away.
I don't worry about it though because the only thing that is going through my mind is the fact I'm getting married in one month.
I, Ricky Underwood, am getting married.
Sarah jumps on our bed in the morning along with a way-too-energetic-for-a-Sunday -morning John.
We let them get under the blankets and we snuggle for a while. Then we have pancakes and I put smiley faces on them just to brighten the morning. Adrian's stressed because the final fitting for the dress is today and she wants it to be perfect.
Instead of a smiley face pancake, I write "I love you" in blueberries and kiss her nose.
It's our wedding day.
I stand at the front of the isle, fidgeting with my shaking fingers because I'm beyond nervous. Ben is at my side, along with Jack and Amy's boyfriend Sean (who I've gotten to know quite well). I feel my heart racing when the traditional wedding march begins.
Amy walks out first dressed in a magenta dress that goes to her knee and she looks good. Grace walks after, followed by an adorable Sarah who is throwing rose petals as she walks. She is absolutely adorable. At her side is John and I smile widely because he takes after his dad, he looks great in a tux. He's carrying rings on a pillow and I declare him the cutest ring boy ever.
Of course he would be; he's my kid.
Then I push away the conceited thought because my beautiful wife-to-be-in-a-few-minutes is up next.
Everyone in the room disappears when Adrian comes into view. Her long, white dress is flowing behind her and the blush staining her cheeks is divine. Her hair is curled to perfection and it flows down her back. I smirk because she is beautiful and her last name is about to be Underwood.
Finally, she reaches me and next thing I know, my lips are on hers and we are declared Mr. and Mrs. Underwood.
We walk down the aisle; our fingers intertwined and kiss outside the church as everyone erupts and cheers and hollers.
It's our honeymoon and we are tangled under the sheets. A layer of sweat coats our bodies and I sigh.
Adrian's hand is on my chest and her hair is sprawled out behind her. I kiss the top of her head and order room service because, I need fuel. I can't run on nothing at all.
Trust me, I've been working hard, but it's worth it. I feel amazing and so does she. She's beautifully glowing and I pull her closer to me.
There's a knock at the door and I curse under my breath because her body is warm and I have no desire to let her go, even if it is for a few seconds. I answer the door and handed my food than I wake up my wife.
"Wake up; I got some food for us." I whisper and run my fingers along her thigh. She smiles and pushes her hips towards my hand. I smirk and then take away my hand deviously because it's time to eat, play time later.
She finally pulls herself up and gives me a heated kiss. Her eyes light up when she sees the pancakes and fruit in front of her.
We eat on the bed and then afterwards, we go for another round of passion.
It's our one year anniversary and I'm taking her out for dinner and to watch the sunset. It is romantic if I do say so myself; and I feel nervous.
I also feel uneasy, but I am not too sure why. I shouldn't feel that way though, something just seems off.
I adjust my tie and look in the mirror. "You are one handsome man, Mr. Underwood." I say to my reflection in the mirror.
"Yes he is."
I hear her voice from behind me. I turn around and I gasp because she looks utterly beautiful.
She has on a red dress that hugs her body perfectly. It goes to her knee and its strapless (which I find sexy). It's silk and I feel myself wanting to tell her the date is cancelled and take her on the bed.
But I restrain because I want this to be perfect.
"I'm nothing compared to you," I whistle as she turns and I pull her towards me. I softly kiss her lips, tasting her cherry red lipstick and I groan because she's killing me.
"You ready to go?" Adrian asks.
"My lady?" I hold out my arm to her to grab, she smirks and links her arm through mine.
I lead her to the car and we drive to the restaurant in a comfortable silence, while I caress her knuckles gently.
The restaurant is elegant, yet more in my price range. I order myself a sprite and her red wine because I know it's her favourite. We eat and talk, while holding hands across the table.
Afterwards, I pay the bill and we walk down the street, and sit on a bench to watch the sunset.
The sky is orange and pink, with small fluffy clouds that seem to be stretched out. The sight is absolutely breath taking, and she sighs as I pull her closer to my body.
"I'd say the sunset is perfect, but it's nothing compared to you," I state. She blushes and we share a long kiss. Her lips are soft, and I moan into her mouth because I can taste the wine, her lip gloss, and the mint she grabbed before we walked out.
We pull apart and I stroke her cheek lovingly.
"You ready to go home?" I question.
"I had a wonderful time tonight, but I'm excited to get you home." Adrian purrs in my ear.
We walk back towards the car hand in hand. I give her my jacket because there is a light breeze and she looks sexy with my clothes on. As we drive home, we hum to the song on the radio and I couldn't feel more content.
As if in a split second, head lights were in my eyes and I couldn't see where I was going.
I froze.
Time froze.
The sounds of screeching tires, shattering glass and Adrian's shrill screams filled my ears.
In a daze, I squint my eyes open. I was dizzy, and I couldn't move.
"I love you," she whispered weakly.
Then I drowned in darkness.
Beep.
"Is he waking up?"
Beep.
"Hey Ricky, I miss you. Wake up, please?"
Beep.
"Ricky, please wake up."
Beep.
"Why isn't daddy waking up?"
Beep.
"I love you daddy. Wake up."
Beep.
My head hurt. I felt like a weight was on me and it wasn't being lifted. It was dark and I couldn't open my eyes if I tried. The beeping was also annoying me beyond belief.
I wasn't sure how long I was like this, and I wasn't sure what was happening.
Why was I here? Why was in a hospital and why was I feeling this way?
That's when I felt a hand hold mine. It was small and warm, and I knew who it was.
"Daddy? Wake up please!" John pleaded.
"J-j-j," I tried to speak, but my voice was hoarse. I had to try again. "John?"
My eyes fluttered and when I opened them, I was greeted by the tear stained face of John.
"Daddy!"
I tried to smile, but it hurt too much.
"Mommy!" John yelled.
"Oh, my god!" Amy came running in. She was by my side in an instant and pushing back my hair that was covering my flushed face.
"What happened?" I weakly asked.
"Ricky, you were in a car accident." Amy explained.
My heart sank.
My head spun.
I froze.
"What? Where's Adrian?"
"Ricky, does anything hurt?" Amy asked as she let her fingers run through my hair.
"No, now where's Adrian?" I lied of course, I was hurting but that didn't matter.
"Maybe I should get the doctor," Amy suggested.
I felt the anger rise in me. "Amy, I swear to god, where's Adrian!" I yelled.
Amy bit her lip, and looked down to the ground. I noticed tears falling down her cheeks and she looked up at me through her dark lashes. "She's gone, Ricky."
It's her funeral.
I stand around her grave, holding Sarah and John is at my side while my crutches are on the ground beside me.
I don't cry. I don't do anything.
I'm numb.
I stand their emotionless, and motionless, watching Rueben talk about Adrian around the casket along with many other people. We are all taking about her before we lower her casket. I'm not sure I can say anything but I know I have to. It's the right thing to do.
But I can't seem to get anything out me. I'm gone. I feel like I was shattered.
"…she will be dearly missed."
Then it's my turn to speak.
I don't have anything planned, so I speak from the heart.
"Um, I remember this one time, we were having a rough day and we fought. I was mad, but she was furious. I don't think I've ever seen her so worked up. Then, she just stopped and kissed me. I asked her why she did that and didn't walk away from me, she said that she didn't want to lose me and she couldn't imagine if she had to wake up tomorrow and I were gone. I now know what she means. I wish I could just get one more kiss."
That's all I said.
Today is her birthday but I seem to be the only one celebrating it. I light a candle and let a balloon go in the sky as I whisper an "I love you."
Then I drink myself away.
I promised myself I would never do that. I didn't want to be my father but the kids weren't here (because I've been strong for them, but trying to grieve). I was by myself and I just needed something to take the pain away.
I sip the vodka, letting it slip down my throat and then I scream.
It should have been my life that was taken.
She didn't deserve what happened.
I was finally happy and then someone, somewhere, decided my life needs to be broken.
I let out another scream and throw the glass bottle towards the wall. It breaks, shards of sharp glass are everywhere and the rest of the alcohol stains where I threw it. I lie back on the couch and let the tears fall down my flushed cheeks.
You never know what you have until it's gone.
Better yet, you never know what you had until she's gone.
Complete.
Thanks for reading. Reviews are nice.