Lullaby and Goodnight
She was gone.
Seven years.
How to walk past her office, always lit up, with her inside, now dark and empty. Seven years she had been there, steadier then the Rock of Gibraltar.
She had first made Reid feel at home. She had kept the balance through Gideon, and through Gideon leaving. And through so many of Rossi's high-handed tempers. Through Morgan and Garcia's upsets. Through everything Garcia came up with.
The war room. She had been there, too, every day, distributing coffee and files and twisting the remote to reveal faces and crimes. She had brought Henry there.
The bullpen. She had been a ray of light dancing past all the agents there, not just their team.
Mother, sister, friend.
She had helped them all pull together so many times, all of them, never asking a thing. She was family, Garcia was right. She was certainly the best mother.
Hotch looked at his hands. He'd kept the blinds to his office closed. JJ had been the team mother, sure as anything. She had been better then his own, so soft when entering and leaving. She had held Jack for him when Haley…
And she had held him, too, talking him into letting Haley be on the floor and tending to his son. And every day thereafter, calling and checking on him, on Jack.
"Hotch, what's up?" she had asked every time. And he would tell her about the nightmares, sharing a bed with Jack, trying to figure out the latest dinner disaster. Many times she had come over with food so that they wouldn't starve or eat pizza again. Jack always greeted her with "Aunt JJ saves the day!"
Even before, during the divorce, she'd sent food up when he stayed late, coffee in the morning. She checked on him.
On Reid, during his battle with drugs.
When Morgan came back from Chicago, when Garcia was shot.
When Dave had bullheadedly decided to solve his cold case murder.
Emily, when she had found out her friend Johnny had died, had leaned on JJ.
Seven years and gone.
He put his head in his hands.
When his own mother had died, he had been relieved. The only person he'd ever cried over was Haley.
JJ was the one who had helped him for years. Mother, sister, friend.
He cried into his hands, blinds closed, so no one could see. Without JJ, he'd have to be stronger for all of them, be in her shoes and his.
One bad night for him and Jack, she had come over, and sung lullabies to them both. Her voice was in his head as he wept into his hands.
'Lullaby and goodnight,
In the sky stars are bright
Round your head flowers gay
Set your slumbers till day.'
I'll try, JJ, he thought. I'll try, but please God let her come back.
Author's Note: The lyrics are from Brahm's Lullaby. We'll miss you on screen, JJ, but we'll keep you on the team where you belong.