Disclaimer: I own neither the Jingle Bell song nor the Legacy of Kain franchise.
In the upcoming spirit of Christmas, here is just a quick spoof of the Jingle Bells song. You can just imagine Kain singing it.
Jingle Bells: Raziel's Brethren Remix
Jingle bells Turel smells, Zephon laid an egg
Rahab, Mel and Raziel think Dumah's a blockhead
Jingle bells Turel smells, Zephon laid an egg
Rahab, Mel and Raziel think Dumah's a blockhead
Melchiah is a mess
Stitched up like Frankenstein
The slug under the slug squisher
Must be out of his mind
Zephon can't come to terms
That he is not a man
But he'll scare the living $#i+ out of you
Just because he can
Oh Jingle bells Turel smells, Zephon laid an egg
Rahab, Mel and Raziel think Dumah's a blockhead
Jingle bells Turel smells, Zephon laid an egg
Rahab, Mel and Raziel think Dumah's a blockhead
Rahab loves the sea
But he can't stand the sun
So he locked himself in an abbey
And is missing all the fun
Dumah Shish-ka-bob
Was Raziel's main course
He barbecued and feasted on
That crispy fried corpse
Oh Jingle bells Turel smells, Zephon laid an egg
Rahab, Mel and Raziel think Dumah's a blockhead
Jingle bells Turel smells, Zephon laid an egg
Rahab, Mel and Raziel think Dumah's a blockhead
Turel had such big ears
They were almost like wings
That Kain would rip them off instead
Were he to be cast in
(the abyss!)
Raziel's a jawless wraith
But still makes ladies swoon
Fan-girls would love to take his place
Just to save him from his doom
Oh Jingle bells Turel smells, Zephon laid an egg
Rahab, Mel and Raziel think Dumah's a blockhead
Jingle bells Turel smells, Zephon laid an egg
Rahab, Mel and Raziel think Dumah's a blockhead