Healing
A Kingdom Hearts Fanfiction
by Tomoyo-chan
Disclaimer: I do not own.
Part 1
Riku lay, still and serene, eyes closed as he listened to his headphones. Kairi crept up quietly. So rarely did she come across Riku asleep, finally she may be able to break that composure for her.
She lunged, landing across his stomach and dislodging his cd player. He gasped and sputtered, eyes and silver hair flashing.
"Ha got ya, Riku!"
"Jeez Kairi, get off you're heavy."
"Are you calling me fat?" She wiggled more securely onto his stomach, laying across him and the bed. His headphones lay just a few inches from her hands.
"What are you listening to?" She asked as she pulled them over her ears.
"No! Kai-" Riku looked panicked as the words, the speaking voice washed over her ears.
She frowned a little, confused, as she pulled the headphones off. Opening the player, she read the words written in marker on the disk. "Relaxation and Guided Meditation?" she questioned.
"Kai, please, just drop it." He wasn't meeting her eyes anymore.
"Riku? What is this? You okay?"
"Kai-"
"No Riku, you don't normally act like this. Tell me what's wrong. What's with the cd?"
He paused and then sighed sitting up long after she rolled off of him.
"It's nothing."
"Riku." SHe said harshly. "Tell me now, or I'm telling Sora."
"No!" he exclaimed. "You can't tell anyone, no one!"
"Tell me, or I tell them."
"No one can know! They can't- I can't tell them. I have to be strong. I'm supposed to be strong! I can't tell them that I'm seeing a therapist, that I can't sleep at night, can't relax without this stupid cd, can't control the panic even as we play in the sun on the play island. That I feel trapped in my own body, stressed by the thought of everything. I'm supposed to be strong, the perfect son, the perfect student, perfect friend. If I can't even control myself, how am I going to be able to help anyone else!"
It was clear that this had been a long time coming, dying to get out even as he said no one could know.
"Ri-" she reached one hand to touch him and he flinched away.
"No!"
She tried again. "Riku, you don't have to be perfect, to always be the strong one. You protected Sora for over a year, you fought Malificent, and Ansem, and Xenmas. No one can say you didn't do everything you could. Give yourself a little time, and let us take care of you for a while."
His breathing was ragged as he turned back.
"Hold me?" He asked in a small voice.
She nodded, a sad smile across her face as she pulled him into her arms. The voice still continued in his headphones, but more this one moment, he didn't need such sounds to feel a brief moment of calm.
I wrote this last summer, in a sudden need to get my emotions off my chest. A lot of what I was going through at the time is in this, so I was a bit cautious of uploading it, but... this story was so therapeutic for me, and I want to know how it is for you.
Also, this story is very raw, no editing at all for a reason. I wanted the pure emotions I felt at the time to come through, not the logic I'm feeling now. Please forgive any errors.
~Tomoyo-chan