TLP: so apparently I had a Christmas story written up….that I apparently supposed to post on Christmas day
Sasuke: but sadly the idiot forgot about the story
TLP: shut up so umm even though its late….ENJOY ^o^
Tsunade: Ah Christmas..the time of year for snow, family, eggnog, presents, and friendship….yet for us in Konoha it's a time for idiotic ninja's to run around and paint the god damn mountain…yeah who the hell thought that was smart
Naruto: umm Tsunade… psst you're getting kinda off topic. This is supposed to be our awesome Christmas special o-o"""
Tsunade: oh…umm yeah moving on…Kakashi you take care of this now *walks off* I need some sake
Kakashi: *sighs and puts his book away* For us ninja's in Konoha Christmas is a time of year that one special emo boy throws a party…and that special emo boy is our own Sasuke Uchiha, and that is where our tale begins *does a jutsu and snow swirls*
Naruto: OMG Kakashi that's so cool can I do it too OuO
Kakashi: no damn it Naruto the snow was a scene change, Jesus on ice
Sakura: oh you saw that too
Kakashi/ Naruto: o.O what
Sakura: oh u-umm heh … gotta go *runs off*
Kakashi: o-o right…wait what are we doing again
Narto: something about changes
Iruka: *sighs* I'll do this *does a jutsu and the scene changes*
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Our awesome tale begins on the fateful day of Christmas Eve…all through the house, not a creature was stirring not eve---
*loud explosion cuts off the announcer*
Naruto: SASUKE YOUR KITCHEN's ON FIRE o-o
Sasuke: *runs in the kitchen* O_O WTF did you do *grabs fire extinguisher*
Naruto:… umm well first I thought that if you put eggnog mixed with an explosive tag it'd ya know make the eggnog taste awesome
Sasuke:…. O-o Naruto….I say this because I care
Naruto: no you don't
Sasuke:…I say this because I don't want my house set on fire O-O# DO NOT TOUCH MY STOVE EVER AGAIN
Naruto: v-v don't have to be so mean….jeez I was trying to help with your Christmas party for tomorrow
Sasuke: what party ?_?
Naruto: the one I sent out invitations for… *backs away*
Sasuke: ….
Naruto: ….so umm how about those Root Beer thieves… heh
Sasuke: who did you send invites to o_o
Naruto: umm ya know all the rookie 9, hokage, Iruka…Orochimaru, Kabuto, the akatsuki..
Sasuke: O_O### YOU SENT INVITES TO WHO
Naruto: Iruka? Heh
Sasuke: let me get this straight not only did you illegally plan a party in my house…but you invited OROCHIMARU ya know the man who gave me the cursed seal, raped me, and mentally scarred me…and oh the kicker you invite the AKATSUKI ya know cloud wearing freaks who want the nine tails, the group my brother- yeah you know him, killed my family, reason I'm emo- works for….you invited them
Naruto: wow new record, longest sentence you've ever spoken
Sasuke: ……………… """""
Naruto: S-Sasuke *backs away*
Sasuke: *does some hand seals*
Naruto: ummm Sasuke lets not be rash hehe
Sasuke: GRAND FIREBALL JUTSU
Naruto: whaaa holy shit *dodges the fire and runs away* your gonna kill me
Sasuke: that's the plan dobe *chases him*
Naruto: there's only one way to stop this ^^
Sasuke: damn it Naruto don't you dare
Naruto: oh it's on FLASH BACK NO JUTSU
Sasuke: crap… o-o
Flashback: Two Weeks Ago
Naruto: ok I've got two of these *hands her a package*
Random girl: heh good, good pleasure doing business with you Mr. Uzumaki *runs off* OMG GUYS I GOT PICTURES OF SASUKE SLEEPING
Naruto: ….heh this won't come back to haunt me ^^ *walks off with two packs of Ramen*
Back to the Present
Sasuke/ Sakura/ Kakashi: O_O
Naruto: wrong time for that to haunt me damn it
Sasuke: YOU SOLD PICTURES OF ME FOR TWO CRAPPY PACKS OF RAMEN O_O###
Naruto: …. *looks at his sundial* well look at them time, its half past get the hell out of here *runs off screaming*
Kakashi/ Sakura: RUN FOREST RUN
Sasuke: when the hell did you two get here?
Kakashi: not through a secrete tunnel if that's what you're asking
Sasuke: ….*twitches* o-o#
Ten minutes later
Kakashi/Sakura/Naruto: *running through the house screaming*
Sasuke: I'm going to KILL YOU THREE O_O
Elsewhere in the wonderful world of Disney
Deidara: OMG can you believe we're going to a Christmas party, un ^o^
Itachi: Hn…
Hidan: dogma must be smiling down upon us to be invited into Konoha
Deidara: UN ^^
Itachi: hn…
Pain: ok seriously Itachi the 'Hn" thing is killing all our Christmas spirit
Deidara: UN
Sasori: Deidara stop saying un my lord the people I work with
Hidan: shame the others didn't want to come
Itachi: did you guys ever think that this might be a trap
Deidara: no why…un
Itachi: well one it's in Konoha, two my brother is throwing it…three IT'S IN KONOHA WHERE MY BROTHER IS
Sasori:… I feel as though you're trying to make a point
Deidara: omg I know what it is…pick me ^^
Itachi: *sighs* Dei-kun I swear if it's one thing about art is a bang
Deidara: the point is that this could all be a set up to kill us all, since we are trying to capture the nine tails and Sasuke is trying to kill Itachi…oh and the fact we're all S-Class missing nin's ^^
Itachi/Sasori/Pain: o-O
Deidara: am I wrong…un v-v
Itachi: no…for once your right
Deidara: UN ^o^
Somewhere in the land of children
Kabuto: Orochimaru-sama we've gotten an invite from Konoha
Orochimaru: burn it then
Kabuto: but it's from Sasuke's address…
Orochimaru: *snatches the letter* OMG SASU-KUN I knew he loved me *reads it* OuO
Kabuto: …Orochimaru-sama ?_?
Orochimaru: pack my bags Kabuto we're going on a road trip to Konoha
Kabuto: oh god…are we taking the car…
Orochimaru: hmm well didn't we steal that carpet from that kid …what's his name again
Kabuto: Aladdin or something
Orochimaru: we shall be taking that ^^ the faster we get there the faster I may sink my fangs into that cute neck of Sasuke's muhahahahahahah
Back in Konoha
Sasuke: *shivers* ewwww my pedophile snake senses are going off…well thanks Konohamaru for helping me bury this stuff
Konohamaru: no trouble Sasuke but really don't you think you went too far
Sasuke: nope not at all
(HOLY SHIT HE BURIED THEM ALIVE O_O)
Konohamaru: I mean it was just a piece of paper
Sasuke: hey that paper had all my dreams o-o
(Hahahaha you thought he buried Naruto and the others...didn't you :P)
Konohamaru: So where is Naruto-nii and the others
Sasuke: heh *smirks* I sent them out to the worst place on earth to be at Christmas
Konohamaru: …..the north pole ?-?
Sasuke: ….no you idiot I sent them to the mall
Konohamaru: *gasp* y-you monster….they will die….you know how women are at this time of year
Sasuke: ^-^ yep good day, good day
At the Mall
Kakashi: NOOOOO Naruto hold on we're coming to get you
Naruto: *buried in a sea of crazed women* n-no I c-can't make it Kakashi…j-just go on without me
Sakura: *sobs* Naruto…..we…we can't just leave you
Naruto: no Sakura….*gasp* I must do this, just tell the teme….that…I….am going to rape him *carried away by the sea of women*
Sakura/Kakashi: NOOOOOOOO NARUTO *sobs*
Iruka: ….omg I got the last turkey ^-^
Random woman: O_O GIVE ME THAT TURKEY
Iruka: …n-no its mine
Random woman: *takes out a chainsaw* my family will not go without that turkey
Iruka: holy shit lady *takes off running*
Kakashi: nooo Iruka run away run before she kills you O_O
Iruka: how about you help me 0-0
Kakashi:…. Ummm KEEP RUNNING
With Naruto
Naruto: heh so this is how I die, buried under countless women in this sea of overpowering perfume o-o
Kyuubi: ok seriously this is getting borderline sad its just a freakin mall…that's it I'm taking over
Naruto: Kyuubi don't be a fool, not even you, the almighty nine tails, can survive this o-o
Kyuubi: ….* starts to take over* just shut up
(K since Kyuubi is taking over we'll call him Knaru ok ^^ yeah that works)
Knaru: get the hell off of me you fat, lonely sex in the city, desperate housewives o-o#### *digs his way to the surface*
Naruto:… I'm sorry did you just use the titles of two shows to insult these women
Kyuubi: yes…yes I did
Naruto: umm ok then sure
Kyuubi: shut the hell up, what the hell are you trying to buy
Naruto: *blushes* well it's in the Sasuke fan club store so we must hurry
Kyuubi: whatever..
Knaru: I hate Christmas O_O
Women: ……*stare at him* ….
Knaru: what the hell are you looking at eh?
Women: you…..you hate Christmas…the time of year when we have a shot with our god Sasuke how dare you
Knaru: you really don't have a chance
Naruto: omg we're gonna die … *-*
Women: h-how dare you say such a thing
Knaru: we'll your all ugly, old, and not male our ukeish soooo yeah I think I'm right
Women: O-O# *the ground begins to shake throughout the entire mall*
Knaru: ….umm o_o
Naruto: O_O
Kakashi: EVERYONE RUN AWAY *grabs Iruka and takes off running*
Women: *dark demonic voice* HOW DARE YOU CHALLENGE OUR LOVE FOR OUR GOD SASUKE
Knaru: *takes a step back* holy shit
Women: WE THE ULTIMATE BEINGS WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN ON THIS HOLY DAY *pulls out sword's*
Knaru: where the hell did those come from?
Random fan girl: we are always prepared for an angry mob at Angry Fangirl Mob Store
Knaru: T_T shit *takes off running*
Women: KILL THE INFIDLE *chases him*
Knaru:
Back with Sasuke
Sasuke: wow I felt a disturbance…hm must be nothing
Kakashi: AHHHHHH we're all gonna DIE *runs by with Iruka*
Sasuke: …..what
With Knaru
Knaru: yeah here's your body back Naruto
Naruto: WHAT don't you dare O_O
Kyuubi: yeah to late ^-^
Naruto: ….*see's the mob of women chasing him with swords* O-o AHHHHHH I'm GOING TO DIE
With Orochimaru
Kabuto: sir I don't think we should be riding this carpet…it doesn't feel safe
Orochimaru: I can show you the world
Kabuto: ….what ?-?
Orochimaru: shining shimmering splendid
Kabuto: sir…what the hell are you talking about
Orochimaru: tell me princess now when did you last let your heart decide
Kabuto: princess? *sighs*
With Itachi and friends
Deidara:… and then I'm gonna go caroling and BAM blow up their house if I don't get fig pudding un
Pain: ok Deidara shut up Jesus
Itachi: hn
Hidan/Sasori: o-o#
Pain: Itachi stop saying HN
Itachi: …….
Pain: …..
Itachi: ….HN
Pain: *tackles him off a cliff*
Sasori/Deidara/Hidan: o-o ummmm
Deidara: well should we wait
Sasori: *sits down and takes out a newspaper*
Later on that day with Konoha
Naruto: *dragging himself into Sasuke's house bloodied and wounded* s-salvation x-x
Sasuke: …wow what happened
Naruto: *shivers* d-don't ask….horrible things h-horrible things happened to me OO
Sasuke: *takes a step back* riiight
Naruto: *rocking in fetal position* TxT
Sasuke: ….~-~
Kyuubi: n-never again….*hugs a teddy bear* t-they just….oh god and the cheese the CHEESE
Naruto: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was terrible
Kyuubi: I d-don't want to relieve that nightmare
Sasuke: ……….. *goes to watch TV*
So umm well let's just skip to the party shall we o-o""""
The Next Day
Sasuke: I can't believe I'm throwing this party
Naruto I can't believe you made me dress like Mrs. Claus o-o
Kakashi: heh I can't believe it's not butter
Naruto/Sasuke: …… -_-#
Sakura: ok food is cooked ^^, lights are hung, tree is made, music is blasting and Tsunade is already drunk
Tsunade: WOOO PARTAY *drinks some sake eggnog*
Sakura: I didn't even know they made this flavor nog *looks at the bottle*
Shizune: v-v# they don't
Iruka: it's so nice that we can all gather here and be together to celebrate Christmas
Sasuke: no…no its not
Iruka: …..^o^# I believe I said *demonic voice* that it is NICE WE"RE ALL HERE
Everyone: O_O *backs up*
Naruto: kind sad that Gaara and the others couldn't make it
Sasuke: yeah cause we'd all miss that insomniac, one tailed, blood loving psychopath
*door bell rings*
Naruto: go answer the door for your guest ^^
Sasuke: that I didn't even invite *sighs and opens the door*
Itachi: Sasuke
Sasuke: *glares* Itachi
Naruto: Naruto ^-^
Deidara: Dei-kun ^^
Itachi/Sasuke: Idiots o-o
Hidan: despite being a heathen thank you for having us over *walks inside* now where are your shrines to Jashin (is that right, his god is Jashin if not I'll fix it)
Sasuke: grr we don't have any shrines to that person
Hidan: *gasp* heathen
Pain: hmph Hidan if you want a god then you always have me ^^ I am going to rid the world of Pain
Naruto: isn't that your name…so are you getting rid of yourself
Pain: no I'm getting rid of pain o-o
Naruto: but that's you…
Sasori: stupid *goes to get some eggnog*
Pain: for the last time I'm ridding the world of pain…not Pain
Naruto: that doesn't make any sense O_O
Pain: arrrrgh *runs off*
Naruto: no get back here and explain this to me o-o
Itachi: so
Sasuke: yeah…
Deidara: un
*door bell rings*
Sasuke: damn it *sighs* coming *walks off*
Deidara: heh lets go have some "fun" in a closed room
Itachi: *smirked* I like how you think *grabs him and runs off*
Sasuke: *opens the door* yes who the hell is it
Orochimaru: *glomps him* SASUKE-KUN *u* it is I Orochimaru
Kabuto: hi… *walks off*
Orochimaru: mmmm you smell sooo fruity
Sasuke: ew X_X get off you creep
Orochimaru: oh I'll "get off" alright ^_*
Sasuke: o-o ahhhhhhhh
Tsunade: Orochimaru stop being a rapist *drags him off*
Orochimaru: n-nooooo let go I want him I want him for Christmas
Sasuke: *sniffles* that was close
Kiba: PETA Ninja has arrived ^o^ woot
Hinata: m-merry Christmas S-sasuke *hid behind Kiba*
Sasuke: hn
Shino: …………………..
Sasuke: …………………………
Shino: ……
Sasuke: ………………..
Shino: ……..
Sasuke: ah hm ok then in the back
Shino: ……..*walks off*
Sasuke: your welcome ^^
Hinata/Kiba: …..what
Shikamaru: troublesome *sighs* all I want is to cloud watch
Chouji: all I want is food ^o^
Sasuke: yeah and I want Naruto to stop throwing me parties without my consent
Ino: could be worse o-o
Sai: yeah you could be dickless
Sasuke: who the hell are you
Sai: …I'm Sai
Sasuke: oh..oh yeah you don't exist til Shippuden
Ino: shippu what ?_?
Sai: …*sighs* you'll find out later and I deserve to be at this party just as much as anyone else here
Sasuke: *sighs*
Shizune: cheer up kid
Kabuto: yeah I mean at least you don't get stuck with an idiot
Shizune: *looks at Tsunade and sighs*
Kabuto: …..I made myself sad v-v
Sasuke: I think everyone here is stuck with an idiot….wait where's Itachi
Sasori oh they went upstairs
Hidan: to do naughty things ^^
Naruto: hm I think I saw them in your room
Sasuke: O____O *runs off* ITACHI GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM
Orochimaru: greatest Christmas party ever
Naruto: ^^ I know right
Everyone else: o-o"""
Orochimaru/Naruto: o-o what
Everyone else: C_C""
*door bell rings*
Naruto: eh who could that be…everyone's here *heads to the door*
Tsunade: wooooooooooooooo dance the limbo
Everyone: what o-o
Naruto: *opens the door* eh…Haku….
Haku: hey ^^
Naruto: umm Haku aren't you…oh I don't know dead
Haku: ….no
Naruto: oh um ok then come in
Haku: come on Zabuza
Zabuza: hmph I hate parties
Naruto: you know this has been an odd day and an odd yesterday
Shizune: oh yeah we heard about that on the news tsk terrible thing
Sasori: the things they did
Naruto: d-don't remind me *shivers*… hey Sasuke is tak--- *cut off by loud explosion*
Deidara: UN art is a BANG *runs past them naked*
Everyone: ….. o-o
Itachi: foolish little brother hn *runs by them half naked*
Everyone: *nose bleed* O_O
Sasuke: GET THE HELL BACK HERE *chases them*
Everyone: ….. -_-#
Naruto: so ummm how bout them Tissues
Sakura: what ?_?
Thus our awesome tale ends with a bang =+.+= and to all a goodnight
TLP: Yeah this is late
Sasuke: good job
TLP: I didn't even know I was working on this thing o-o
Naruto: so it's a late Christmas one shot..is it going in your story or by itself
TLP: eh by itself ^^
Sasuke: you owe me money for my kitchen, and my house
Naruto: yeah along with my therapy session
TLP: come on its Christmas lets forgive and forget
Sasuke: no you missed out on that
TLP: …..*writes a check* hmph no good ninja's
Deidara/Itachi: Review for the sake of Santa *holds up ransom note*
Hidan: or he won't be coming back alive ^_^
TLP: omg that's horrible o-o
Hidan: shut up heathen
TLP: hey…hey shut the fudge ripple ice cream up
Hidan: MAKE ME
TLP: THAT'S IT…IT's TIME TO D-D-D-D-Duel
Yugi: I'm sorry but don't steal our lines o-o
TLP: Yugi you're not in my story
Yugi: I am when you steal our words
TLP: oh my god
Pain/Light: you rang *-*
Everyone: o-o""" ……
Naruto: you never did explain the pain thing to me Pain
Sasuke: o-o dobe
Naruto: O_O TEME
Deidara: Dei-kun UN
Itachi: ….*sigh* idiots
Sasuke: you shut up ok