Disclaimer ; JK made them, we just play with them.

5th Year, after O.W.L.s.

"Haw, dae ye no' ever 'hink that miby wit Lily's wantin is for ye tae no' act Mr Big Baws aw the time?"

Wooow. I appear to have a Scottish voice in my head. Hehehe.

"Fuckin' right, laddy. And am damn proud of it tae, so don't ye be fuckin' laughin' at it, or a'll rip yer fuckin' bawsack aff.

Hehehe.

"Jesus Christ, son, ye sound like a stuck fuckin' record wae a posh bastard accent. Grab ahold of yer alleged bollocks 'n' stop bein' such a fuckin' lightweight. Christ."

Excuse me, Mr Voice, but do you do, like, requests?

"Requests? Wit the fuck are you talkin' aboot, ya gleckit, lightweight, posh, lanky, stupit haired jessy?"

My hair is not "stupit."

"Aw, a beg tae differ, son, a fuckin' beg tae differ."

Hehehe, who's repeating themselves now? I WIN!

"Put yer fuckin' hawns doon, ye look like rugby posts. Lanky bastard."

I am not lanky. I am tall. Who even are you anyway?

"Am yer inner James, son. A come oot when yer in a state of inebriation."

Huh. Inebriated me? Is that why you're Scottish? Hehehe, I am so funnyyyy.

"Fuckin' racist."

Do you do requests, you never answered me before. This is really strange, you know.

"Of course a know, am bloody you, for fuck sake."

That means I can make you sound however I want.

"Ya, mon. And what be's your point, me brudda."

I love drugs.

"Me heard dat, rasta."

Heheheeee. I need to lie down.

"Ya mon. Ya also be needin' to stop stereotyping, ya hear?"

Aaaah. Blessed unconciousness. How I adore thee.

6th Year. New Year's Eve.

Lily. Lileeee. Lilykins.

Dearest Lily. How I wish to kiss thy lips, when the clock doth strike twelve.

Lily Evans. Lily Evanz. Lilyyy Evansss.

Lily Pottttt-.

Wait, what? When did she turn into my future wife?

Not that it would be bad.

Would it?

"A don't know, laddie. Wid ye no' be better aff waitin' til she agrees to fuckin' date ye first, never mind marry ye."

Oh joy, angry Scottish voice is back.

"Haw you, am no' fuckin' angry! Am tryin' tae help ye here, ye blubberin' wee wanker."

And how do you intend to "help" me, exactly?

"By helpin' ye tae grow a functionin' set of baws and ask the alleged love of yer life, Lily Dearest, for a midnight kiss."

Oh. Oh! That could work. Does she like me enough to agree though?

"How in the fuck am a meanty know, ya moron? Am your Inner Drunk, no' hers!"

Fuck. Good point.

"Hawd on. Let's jist look at this wae some sensibleness."

That's not a real word.

"Dae you fuckin' want Evans tae kiss ye and wish ye a Happy New Year or no' ya ignorant bastard."

Yes.

"Well, stop bein' a wee fuckin' greetin' wain and grow a pair."

I have a pair.

"Fuckin' shut it you."

I'm listening.

"Wit ye need tae do is look at it fae her point of view. Huv ye done anything' tae annoy her this year?"

No.

"No' even tae that greasy fucker wae the manky hair 'n' nose the size of fuckin' Italy?"

Er, no. Not as much anyway.

"Well that's a fuckin' positive step then. N' ye huvny done anything tae the wains she looks efter as a Prefect?"

No. Not after Remus told me not to.

"Smart laddie.

Thanks.

"Naw, no' you. Remus."

Whatever. I'm totally smart.

"Shut up laddie, finish yer drink, go doon they fuckin' stairs 'n' kiss the lassie. Kiss her properly, tae. Show her wit she means tae ye."

Fuck it. Dutch courage and all that.

"Fuck the Dutch. This is pure Scottish bravery ye twat."

Whatever.

James & Lily's wedding.

Lily Potter. Lily Potter.

This is, officially, the best day of my life.

"Am proud of ye, Potter. Ye finally grew a pair."

Thanks Voice.

"Don't be thankin' me laddie. This was all yer own work."

How?

"Am you, remember? Well done, son."

Author's Note; Yeah, I don't know. I was bored and this happened. Haha. Hopefully you'll be able to understand James' inner Prongs. Hope you enjoyed it :)