Thomas Eris - a simple child with one wish: forcing everyone to be an ideological clone of himself.
Thomas Eris had a difficult childhood. In Kindergarten, his class was tasked with making the perfect country for themselves. Almost everyone's countries involved free candy and 24/7 recess. For Eris, his ideal dream-world involved a massive police force knocking down the doors of people that were having loud sex, and having cameras in every room of a house to make sure no one faps. To Thomas, this was the perfect world of mandated morality. To his classmates, he was the most boring and pathetic child in the class.
"What is a 'fap'?" They would ask him whenever he started talking about morality.
"The worst crime a person can commit." Eris would respond, falling into a rage as he described all the things that would happen when someone faps: addiction, depression, and an inescapable spiral into eternal damnation.
The kids would bully Eris relentlessly, with the older kids even fapping in front of him to make him mad. Eris would close his eyes to this "travesty" and shout at them about how they will be imprisoned once he becomes President. One day, after a long argument with a shirtless kid about how his lack of shirt will turn the classroom gay, he was cornered on the playground.
"Stop lecturing my squad on morality, Thotmas." Hanson said as he slowly walked up to him, surrounded by the "GOP" – or, as the other kids called it, the Gang Of Princesses.
"I was merely attempting to educate your friend about what he is doing to these children," Eris protested.
The GOP surrounded Eris and picked him up as Hanson shouted, "Take him to the clubhouse!"
"Let him go." A voice said nearby. The most autistic kid in the school (Eris notwithstanding, of course) emerged from the crowd. "Give him to me."
No one wanted to be this close to the autist anyway so they let go of Eris and backed up ten steps.
"Come with me," said the stranger, holding out his hand to Eris.
"It is immoral to hold hands with another man," said Eris, "but I will come with you. What's your name?"
Oh, god. Not one of these people again, Rohan thought before saying, "Call me Rohan. And yours?"
"Thotmas – er, Thomas Eris."
"Follow me, Thomas. I'm going to show you to the Libertarian Party."
"Libertarian as in, liberty?"
"Yes."
"Liberty conflicts with my… choice of lifestyle," Eris said quietly.
"Well fuck your lifestyle," Rohan said, "I just want to fill my recruitment quota."
**SIX YEARS LATER**
"All sexual pleasure leads to addiction, which leads to depression, which leads to unstoppable crime sprees. We must stop this travesty." Thomas was telling Rohan when they were alone in the Libertarian Clubhouse together.
"Like this?" Rohan said, grabbing Eris' crotch abruptly.
"Ow!" Eris screamed, closing his eyes and curling into a ball. "I will not turn gay I will not turn gay I will not turn gay" he muttered to himself, over and over, rocking around on the floor.
"Eris, you're so smart. You know everything about politics," Rohan said.
"I am!" Eris says, getting up and immediately calming down.
"You're very intelligent, but I'm more intelligent. It's okay for me to use you because I am smart." Rohan whispered to Eris.
"It's okay for you to use me because you are smart." Eris whispered back, getting excited.
Rohan pulls off his pants. "So it's okay for you to do this," Rohan says, motioning to his area.
"Do what?" Eris asked cautiously.
"You love it when I do this," Rohan said, gripping Eris' length, "don't you?"
"Please, this is not moral..." Eris said, secretly enjoying every moment.
Rohan knew Eris' true feelings. He flipped Eris over and positioned himself, Rohan was already hard from a nearby TV playing What's New Scooby Doo.
"Direct my campaign, Rohan," Eris whispered as he felt Rohan enter him.
As he was plowed harder and harder from behind by Rohan, Eris began to feel his morals slipping away, his shell coming apart, as he began to accept that this is the way things are, and he was fine with that. Rohan fucked him hard, and a bit of Eris' church fell apart each time he felt Rohan plow in and out of his asshole.
After only two minutes Rohan was about to cum. This was his first time that he wasn't just jacking off to Eris' Discord messages. Rohan pulled out but Eris was still moaning and moaning, the couch beneath him covered in white.
"Calm down Eris! Someone's going to hear." Rohan whispered to Eris aggressively. Eris remembered that loud sex is illegal in his world and quieted his moaning.
(A/N this section goes out to you Jerry)
"Have you ever heard of the flute playing position?" Rohan asked Eris.
"The only positions I know are far-right and extremely far-right," Eris responded. "But my positions are really just common sense. It is common sense to legislate moral—"
Rohan interrupted him by ramming his cock in Eris' mouth. "Blow," Rohan said, losing patience.
Eris blew. Rohan's mouth flew open, releasing a high-pitched note. "Lower!" Rohan commanded.
Eris blew lower. Rohan made a lower-pitched note, and Eris blew the entire transcript of an Alex Jones episode through Rohan's cock as Rohan emitted many loud notes. Rohan came several times before the door to the Libertarian clubhouse swung open.
Valladarex stepped in, shutting the door before noticing the scene in front of him: Eris blowing Rohan so hard that Rohan was imitating Alex Jones' voice as they stood in a pool of white liquid.
"OUT!" Valladarex shouted at the pair as they scurried away, naked.
Rohan and Eris ran out into the forest by the clubhouse.
"What are we going to do now?" Eris asked pathetically.
"We're going to make our own clubhouse. The Constitution Clubhouse," Rohan said, determined.
"What's a Constitution?"
"Exactly, my boy," Rohan said, picking up Eris as they strolled out deeper into the forest.