Alucard and the Narrator Get Naked: Part Four, Epic Quadruple

"So I'm wondering, dear," I began. "Why didn't you try using your teeth from the beginning, if it would give you the power to control me?"

We were sitting together in the old, broken flatbed truck in my yard, naked under the early morning stars. He was a dog, because I'd asked him to be, and I could feel his warm fur against the length of my body. He was so adorable like that, I could almost pretend he was sweet.

"You ordered me not to turn you into a zombie, that was one of the first things you said," he said, though his little doggy mouth was not moving. His black ears are so soft, I really love dogs.

"Really? I don't remember saying that," I said.

"You were drunk, like you normally are," he said. Sarcastic dog.

"Aw, but the booze makes me love you so much more," I said in my sweetest voice. I squeezed him and he rolled his six bulging red eyes at me. Alucard's dog face is almost more like a lizard than a dog, he has a head like a dragon with short brushy hair, but I still think he's adorable. His black brush of a tail is wagging, who can resist that?

"I couldn't turn you into a ghoul, but I knew that after you used that witch's potion on you skin you would be immune, completely," the black dog said. "You must have lost your soul gathering the ingredients for that. I can hardly believe a human would do that."

"Well, I want what I want," I said eagerly, in a low, hungry voice.

I could see people through the windshield of the old pickup. Crack heads with dirty infected dicks, coke heads with cruddy fingernails, meth smokers with caved in mouths; it's one of those kind of dealings I am sure.

"You think they saw me? If they see me naked, shoot them," I said.

"I know, you don't have to tell me twice," he said, in his growly doggy voice. I petted his head and sank down in the seat of the truck with a satisfied sigh. I wanted to ask him my favorite questions.

"Babe, did you have a girlfriend before me?"

"You've asked me this so many times," he said, annoyed.

"Yeah, I know, tell me again."

"No," he said. "Not for a long time."

"Did you even bother to have sex? I mean, before I had you?"

He turned his dragon head away from me, his bulging eyes rolling.

"Nah, there are many more things that are more fun," he said in a tantalizing way.

"Killing you mean?" I asked. "Killing your enemies, I guess, destroying the world. Well, dear, I hope you can see there are good things besides that."

"I know, I was a human at one time, I do know that," he said to me. He told me about when he was a human named Dracula, there was this woman that he loved but didn't get to have. That was so very long ago, maybe five centuries ago. I asked him if it has been that long since he used his dick, and he laughed at me. It's so attractive to me, to think that he's been unused and neglected for so long, until I showed up and jumped his dusty bones. He was just a beautiful killer man hidden behind dark glasses.

I asked him to turn back into a human, and he did. He reformed with all his clothes on, because those are just an illusion as much as the rest of his body is.

"How has it been, being my lover? Has it been fun fucking me?" I asked him.

He smiled, and it was kind of a nice one for once.

"Yeah, it's been fun," he said. He was being honest! Of course he has to tell the truth to his master, but I was really glad, because I'm someone who makes him happy.

***

Later, I came back from the Save N' Steal with a big bell bar sticking through the hole his tooth made in my tongue. I showed it to Alucard.

"Makes you look slutty," he responded off-handedly.

He was sitting on my couch, reading a book and not even looking at me. I grabbed his chin lifted his face. He was looking up at me with his big fangy grin, and I smacked his cheek affectionately. He was looking real careless and his shirt was open. That was because of me, of course: I told him he had to walk around like that so I could run my fingers across his naked chest. I wiggled my little pink tongue at him between my teeth, watching his eyes. I want his eyes to tell me something, anything. They are red pools of blood, they swallow up everything and they emit no light, like black holes in space. Unless I grab onto his dick, then his eyes tell me a symphony of burning pleasure that shoots from my skin to his.

***

We went back to that truck a few times, it was starting to be a nasty little fuckhole for the two of us. The seats are frosted with white stains, but no matter, the broken truck will never be used for anything else. The only time the thing moves is when we're rocking it.

"Baby, my sweet babylicous," I said. I rock his apathetic face back and forth in my hands. He is just an angry doll in my clutches. Maybe my dear has the beginning of a sweet feeling in his heart, maybe he is starting to love me. I have no idea, because his face tells me nothing besides arrogance and more arrogance: his mouth laughs at the world and says nothing kind. He may have feelings that I don't know about. So I guess I'll just have to wait and find out, eventually.

I lay on my side next to him and stroke his face, I rub my face on his hair. I treat him like the sweetest boy, like a nice guy. I pour my affection on him thickly, there's so much of it and I can't contain it. Maybe if I slather him in enough sugar he will start to be sweet to me.

I hold on to him and put my face against his chest. I feel like his fist is squeezing my heart whenever I look at his face, he is gorgeous and I love him insanely. His crazy face does not change, it shows nothing. I run my fingers along the curve of his face, and I kiss the lids of his eyes. I hold his head to my chest, and then I press his face against my breasts. He pulls my shirt open so he can touch my naked chest, and he puts his big mouth on my tits. He holds my breast between his sharp teeth, and he runs their pointed ends down the slope of my breast like a rake, and he laps at my nipple like a dog. I lick his neck eagerly and try to turn him on; I lick the nipples on his chest until they are hard like candies.

I don't have to try to turn him on. He is cursed to feel lust for me, he always will.

I just want to. I want to be sexy.

I run my hand down his hard body and rub his hard dick, it's mushroom outline is there for me to grab. His face is empty ecstasy, the pleasure expressed by his attractive mouth is simple and hedonistic.

So I punched him in the mouth, because he pissed me off. He really gives me nothing, after all the love I give him. He just laughed, with blood coming out of him mouth causing a red film on his white teeth.

"And why don't you want to bite me, aren't you a vampire? That's why I wanted you in the first place," I said.

He just laughed his bloody laugh at me, he was refusing to and I know why. He just wanted to make me mad. I didn't order him to bite me, because that would be no fun. I wanted him to want me, badly. I would wait instead.

***

Alucard is a brick wall. He's a completely solid structure. I am a liquid burning fire of rage sometimes, I explode like nuclear energy leaving craters in my wake. I used to destroy my walls, and cut my furniture with my knife. Now, sometimes I just beat Alucard up.

Yesterday I came home from work burning mad, and I socked him right in the face. I punch him constantly, I beat on his arms and his legs and his stomach until I got tired. I punched him like he's a bag of sand, and it makes my knuckles ache with delicious pain. I rage and rage and burn him up until my fire is out of fuel, and then I sit on my couch, exhausted.

I tell him to sit next to me, and he does. He'll have no bruises to explain, of course, he's healed already.

Then, after hurting him bad, I cuddle up to him. It's so nice, sometimes when Alucard is gone I cuddle up to the arm of the couch because I miss him so much. But when Alucard is around, I cling on him like a cheap suit. I hang around his neck like a necklace: I'm a cheap, ugly piece of jewelry, I know. I love squeezing him, though, it makes me feel so good to have his hot body next to me while I sit and watch TV and waste my time. He enjoys my touch, it is heroin to him, and he can hardly wait to screw me. I took some shots of vodka before bedtime and we had a wild night of sex. When I let him go wild, he humps me so fast it feels like being attacked by a wild panther. It's amazing, it's sweet release for us both, and afterwards we get to curl up naked like spoons in a drawer, our sweaty skin sticking to each other. And always his dark, red eyes are there, telling me over and over how he wants to fuck me, how he can't stand the need. But his face is cool, it is the unrippled surface of a deep lake that reaches to the boiling center of the earth where his hot passion lies.

The next day, I told Alucard we needed to hang out, and I made him go for a walk with me. We walked down the street, which is something I like to do. I like to walk through my town and cause chaos at night, like vandalize the signs with the sharp tip of my butterfly knife and pull up the daisies that decorate the sidewalk. Alucard watches as I tear up flowers and cut their tender petals off with the blade in my hand. We walked down to the supermarket, and got a lot of stares. Alucard was wearing his big hat and sunglasses, he doesn't look like he's from this world.

We walked to the ice cream stand that is down my street, it was about 9 o'clock at night. I got a pistachio ice cream cone and ate it, the melted cream dripping down my hand in sticky streaks. Alucard just watched me eat it, and I kinda rubbed it in his face how good it was. I licked it sexily, and I smeared ice cream on my face like cum on a porn star. He looks at me calmly with little reaction, like a lazy cat. When I got sick of the flavor of pistachio, I threw the rest of the ice cream at the wall and watched the green slime ooze down the red painted wood. Alucard and I sat outside the ice cream stand, just hanging out in the night air. We don't talk too much, we just pass the time together.

***

Alucard and I went to the public pool one day when it got really hot. Of course he hates sunlight, and he stayed in the shade. I told him to get in the water, I wanted him to feel the cold icy refreshment. He said no, no, no way. Not that his opinion mattered.

He looked great in a pair of swim shorts, they were black against his super white legs. He kind of floated lazily in the water and I thought the blast of sunlight made him pass out. He looked really cute, like a dead bloated seal floating around in the arctic. I told him he could get out when he wanted, and he did after a while. He didn't tan at all, it was like the sunlight went right through him.

Later we went back to the pool in the moonlight, because we had nothing better to do. He hung in suspension in the water of the deep end, his dark hair floating around his head: he doesn't have to breathe. I tried to hang out in the deep end with him, as if I were free falling through cold blue jell-o, however I can not hold my breath very long. We swam around, and floated around in the water, then we got out of the pool. My finger tips are wrinkled prunes from soaking in the water, and I touched his arm with them just to gross him out. We laid on towels next to the pool, and through the sky is dark the air is heated like an oven. It bakes our wet skin as we face the night sky.

He rolled over on top of me, when I wasn't paying attention. He took his fingers and wrapped them around my swimsuit, sticking each one inside me, my wetness slurping as he moved them. Our moist skin and the heated air made us all the more lustful as he grabbed my body and squeezed it to himself.

"Mmph," he said when he stuck his fingers in me, enjoying the lusty burn in his chest that he felt whenever he touched me. He jammed them into me hard, using me, fucking me for his own fun. He pulled my dainty panties down and then he stuck his dick in me, a feeling that was much more sublime and it showed on his face wildly. He screws me until he comes, and I love it when I reduce this man to a gasping gob of ecstasy. I come, too, sometimes when that happens, but sometimes I don't. I don't worry about it though, he's always ready for more, and I keep fucking him until I get there, too. Or rather, I let him keep fucking me, again and again, him using me like a puppet for his dick. When I come, he feels the spasms of my vagina around his dick, and I wonder what he thinks about that.

***

"Smoke this," I said. "You must smoke this weed."

He took the joint from me, and he put it in his mouth. He puffed on it, and I lit one of my own. I knew he'd like the weed, it was good headies. He smoked the whole joint in just a few huge drags, holding it in his dead, dried-up lungs and blowing out big puffy clouds.

Then, he watched TV with me for a long time. He didn't look as bored as usual, because now the simple shapes of the cartoons we watched were amusing to him.

"I love cartoons, they're so much better than regular shows. I hate watching a bunch of boring people be jerks, don't you think so?" I said.

"Yeah," he agreed, laughing a little. He was laughing at nothing. The colors were bright in the TV show, and it gave me an idea. I suggested we get some finger paints.

I took the paints and I painted all over his chest, because I told him to take his shirt off. I try to get him naked as much as possible, I love his skinny, stringy, pale body.

The finger paints were wet gobs that smelled like plastic, and the colors swirled over the blank canvas of his chest. I told him to get on the floor, and I just painted all over his chest and stomach. Then I told him to get completely naked, and I painted the rest of him.

I took bowls of the gooey paint and turned them over on his naked body, so the paint looked like round gob-monsters sitting on his skin. I poured paint on his stomach like gravy on creamy white mashed potatoes. He complained that it felt cold and disgustingly wet; I just pouted my lips at him unsympathetically. I talked as I swirled the colors on his body, telling him the things that I saw in the paint. Sometimes the colors looked like a dragon, sometimes they looked like the swirls in Van Gogh's Starry Night. I enjoyed the feeling of swirling the oily paint on his smooth skin, and I was enjoying the time to touch him. I painted his face like a warrior, his soft cheeks striped with red. I pinched his cheeks, pulling them out so I could see his pointy teeth. He frowned at me with his sexy, angry face.

I told him to stand and I got his backside, too, until I'd make him a psychedelic swirl of rainbow goop. I slapped blue hand prints on his butt cheeks. His dick was painted red like a hot dog and his toes were green like little inch worms.

I took my clothes off and I gave him some paint to play with. He just took too big handfuls off blue and green paint and made some big squishy hand prints on my tits. He rubbed paint on me, watching the color spread across my body, and I hope at that moment I looked beautiful to him. He could see that I was getting turned on as he spread his hands across my body, and so he started caressing me more heavily, with paw-like strokes of his clawed hand. He just wanted to ram it in me, he was hard and ready. I grabbed on to him and felt the iron rail of his hardness, and I watches his face twist as I touch him with my hand. I put him in my mouth and I tasted dried red paint, as I lick up and down his shaft. The pleasure he feels is nothing compared to the torture: he feels burning pain as I lick him, because he needs the sweet pleasure of my vagina. I suck on the sensitive tip of his penis, and he starts grabbing at my hair.

He has learned his lesson now, though, Mr. Smarty Pants Man. He stops himself from tearing my hair out and he gently takes the back of my head in his hand. He brings my head up so I am looking into his face: he looks at me intently, his face is calm and serious. Then, he smiled, a grin that is playful and charming and meant to win me over. He smiled sweetly with his pointy teeth sticking out from his mouth, and he kissed my lips. He draws my tongue between those dangerous jaws, and he runs his wet paint-covered hands down my curves. He pinched my nipples between his fingers and he oh-so-smoothly slid himself between my legs.

We screwed in the kaleidoscope of colors that was the finger paints being smeared all over the hard floor. Our bodies slid past each other in the squishy paint.

I decided that next time I would use something edible, because I really wanted to eat him up.

***

"You need to wear this," I told my sexy vampire man. I gave him this black leather jacket with a pair of midnight chaps.

"What, are we going to pick up some gay dudes?" he asked me.

"No, but I want you to steal a motorcycle because I love bad boys," I said.

He did, he came back with a police bike, with sirens following him.

"Hey, you better get out of here, you don't want to go to jail do you?" he asked me. I jumped on the back of his police bike, with his bike's lights flashing and his siren howling.

"You son of a bitch, lets get out of here now, you must outrun them!" I said. He just grinned and we took off, him doing a wheelie so I had to hang on to him by the ends of my fingernails.

We were in a high speed chase for a while, sort of, just a couple local police cars coming after us. Alucard was going about 100 mph, zipping around like a jack rabbit back and forth down the wide roads in my little town. We did not drive in the direction of the desert: that place where we went to visit my mom's home to pick the weeds. We drove in the direction of the city, so as we rode the streets became more narrow and populated.

I thought about telling him to be careful, but then I changed my mind. I decided to let him do whatever he wanted.

We shot like a bullet through narrow streets lined with the night's people: most of them were wearing party clothes, the kind of shiny material that lights up night clubs. There were grungy people too, sucking on tobacco cigarettes, and there were begging people playing music on the streets. Alucard dodged them marvelously, and we skirted between cars like a dart flying straight for a target.

We almost crashed once, but to avoid it Alucard ran a person over. He flew off of a man's back like it were a jump, and I looked back to see the man fall behind us. I was sure he was dead, but we continued. Just another casualty to add to the souls he's eaten.

Eventually I realized that the cops weren't following us, and the only siren I heard was the one on the bike we were riding. So we kept going, a speed demon and a lame girl tearing through the universe where humans try to live on a delicate thread. They're fragile and mortal and lucky to have any time at all to enjoy themselves under the stars. The people are lovely in their innocence, they enjoy their precious humanity that is just a memory for this man. I cling to his shoulders which feel like cold tombstones as I fly through my life like a blazing fire of pleasure and smoke.

We stopped eventually: he skidded sideways in a dark alley, the bike's motor revving like a wolf's growl in the night.

"So, was that fun?" I asked him. He turned to me, his eyes wide and all lit up.
"Yeah, a little," he said.

We parked the bike and took a walk down the street. We walked by all kinds of people, normal people and weirdos. The city at night is a bright place, full of colored lights and neon signs. I made my own pretty light as I lit up a joint, and shared it with my man. We just walked down populated streets not looking for anything, until we ended up at this bar. It looked familiar, so I went inside.

"Hey, I remember you! So this the guy you're rolling with now?" Some jerk started talking to me as soon as I entered the bar, a man wearing a button-up shirt and pressed jeans. I'd had sex with him before, he looked different then: he had on a dirty T-shirt and he was drunk, breaking bottles in a parking lot. Now I guess he was on the prowl, and he'd cleaned himself up to get a date.

I pushed past him, I didn't even talk to him. I went to the bar and ordered myself a big cocktail, something hard and tasty that came with cherries. I slugged down a big sugary gulp, nearly choking on a lemon wedge that I didn't notice was there. After that drink I got a martini, and they made it far too dry but I drank it anyways.

I turned to Alucard, my face already drooping drunkenly.

"For a while, sex was my favorite thing. I didn't know any better...I didn't think of anything better to do. I didn't think it was a big deal, I just fucked anybody," I said. As I said this, I gestured wildly, swinging my arm out to enunciate the part about 'anybody'.

"I'm not like that anymore, I don't want to be a slut. These men disgust me, and I don't want to give them anything. I don't want them to take anything from me, it's mine!" I shouted. "But you, babe, I'd give you anything, you're great."

"Thanks," he said. "But I don't think that I'm any different from them. I'm using you, as well."

"You can use me, all you want," I said. "I want to give you...me. I'm very happy you want to take me."

"I think you're an idiot," he said. "It's completely worthless to give me anything, you won't get anything back. Go ahead, through your roses into the open grave. You're just wasting your life on someone without a life."

"Are you kidding, I don't have a life either! I'm not wasting anything on you, I assure you. You're the best guy that's ever been in my pants, really," I said.

I took his face in my hands and kissed his mouth, and it felt so sweet.

The End