A.N.: This was translated from my Italian fanfiction. A special thanks to my wonderful beta reader Ambyrawrawr. According to Google and his dictionary, "Światło" in Polish means "Light". Let me know what do you think.
I don't own Death Note.
Song's title: "Shattered MTT version" by Trading Yesterday
Every single day
{And I've lost who I am, (I'm waiting)
and I can't understand (and fading)
Why my heart is so broken, (and holding)
rejecting your love, (love) without, (onto these tears)
love gone wrong; lifeless words carry on (I am crying)
But I know, all I know's that the end's beginning (I'm dying tonight)}
I'm afraid. It's the first time I made love with Mihael, and I'm afraid.
He whispers, he murmurs, he sighs that he loves me. In this old barn, in the country which surrounds Danzica, hay cutting into our naked backs, scattering across the floor.
It's 1938, and I'm sixteen.
"Germany has invaded us."
The look in my father's eyes is serious. I can't believe that something could frighten him. Thanks to his fiery hair, so similar to my own, and his appearance, adorn with scars and firm steady hands he's like a warrior.
I am seventeen, and I am afraid.
Voices about the German military are spreading. Mihael and I are in our refugees again. We don't know what to do.
"They say that they'll take people like us, with the Jews and gypsies, the rumours are everywhere, Mail. They will kill us."
We share a scared look. I can see in his eyes and I can feel in my heart blaze in anger too: they will take away everything we have built through the years. All our dreams, all our hopes. All erased because we we live a different path.
"We have to go away. We have to go to America."
I'm eighteen, and we are both afraid.
"Run! My God, run!"
They have come to take us away. I don't know who has ratted us out, maybe Światło's fiancée. They always have hated us.
We had to hide and wait for the right moment to meet with a Jewish convoy which will take us to the ship. There's Nathaniel with us, Mihael's younger brother.
Our parents are dead, and if they find him they would kill him too, because he is different, because he is albino, because he doesn't meet the 'criteria', a seemingly inferior being thanks to the notion of the Third Reich.
"Go away, Mail! Run, I'll stop them!"
"No!"
We are in the middle of a wood and it's cold. It's January, and everything is covered with a thick layer of snow. I can hear the military footsteps, they're looking for us. I don't think they'll waste their time taking us away. They'll kill us here, like bound rabbits, where we used to play when we were children.
I can't leave him here. I couldn't survive.
"Take Nate away, take him to America, and build yourself a new life."
"Why? Why can't you come with us? You don't need to die alone!"
"Because I'm already dying, Mail. I'm ill, love, I would have lived just a few more years."
His turquoise eyes are firm and he won't hear any excuses. He has always been the strongest one.
Without him to guide me, what will I do?
God, please, help me.
"I love you."
My heart stops beating. I give it to him, to my Mihael, my guardian angel, who sacrifices his life for ours. I can hear the military's voices and the sound of gunshots which break his body. Nathaniel and I keep on running. I am nineteen, and I am afraid.
"Bye, uncle Mail. See you tomorrow."
Nathaniel's grandchild is so alike to his grandfather's brother. Delicate features, sharp blue eyes, golden blond hair, like a summer day. Many many years have passed from that day. I'm not sure I can count them. I can remember the sun passing through the trees, I can remember the smell of resin, I can remember cries cutting the silence, I can remember the fear. That day, I've been afraid for the last time. I've stayed alive for him, for my Mihael, because I had promised. Now that I'm old, I feel like I can reach him, his hand reaching out to clasp my withered skin, close in that warming embrace I remember so fondly.
"Have you missed me?"
"Every single day"
In the end I fall asleep, the fear dissipating for good.
{Who I am from the start, (I'm waiting)
take me home to my heart (and fading)
Let me go and I will run, (and holding)
I will not be silent, (silent) all this time (onto these tears)
spent in vain; wasted years wasted gain (I am crying)
All is lost but hope remains and this war's not over (I'm dying tonight)
There's a light, there's a sun (I'm waiting...)
taking all these shattered ones (I am waiting...)
To the place we belong
and this love will conquer all}