This story is staged during the Insurgent time period, but the attack on Abnegation never happened, and neither did anything in Insurgent. The POV switches halfway, so be aware.
If I owned Divergent, I probably wouldn't be writing fanfic about my own book. I do not own Divergent.
It's been 36 weeks since they left. 252 days. 6,048 hours. 362,880 minutes. 21,772,800 seconds. And counting.
The Dauntless compound seems empty without her best friend. It's strange how she never saw it before, how big a part of her life Tris is- was. But now that she's vanished, Christina barely knows what to do with herself. But no matter what Will, Zeke, Shauna, and Uriah say, she knows that Tris and Four will return home, with one hell of an explanation. When? She doesn't know, but she's positive they will.
When Will shows up to walk her to the cafeteria, she kisses his cheek and holds his hand tightly. Her engagement ring glints in the underground light as they walk. He proposed a month after Tris and Four vanished, but she refuses to get married without Tris as her Maid of Honor.
Will is a perfect gentleman with her, so unlike the reckless Dauntless he usually is. Although he pretends she doesn't know what she is talking about, the Candor in her knows that Four was giving him tips before he disappeared off the face of the earth with her best friend. 36 weeks ago.
Will opens the door for her and puts his arm around her waist as they grab food from the cafeteria lines. She leans on him in the carefree manner all Dauntless interact with, then they head over to their usual spot. Throwing down their trays, and starting a shouting conversation with friends who are just across the table. Will and Uriah start screaming at each other about a party going on tonight, while Christina, Marlene, and Shauna start yelling at each other about some fashion line with waistlines too high and necklines too low. They might as well interchange with each other, those necklines and waitlines. The noise blends right in with the rest of the Dauntless faction. It's so normal to her, just as normal as silence really. So when the noise drops and silence begins to spread, she doesn't notice right away.
Gradually, their conversations all drop, and Christina looks around for the source. "What's going on?"
It's not the silence of waiting for something to happen, or the silence that follows when Eric or Max calls everyone to attention. It's more of a shocked, stunned feeling. Shauna and Marlene are staring past her, towards the door. She turns around, and she too, is stunned by the sight behind her. It has been 36 weeks since she last saw him after all.
Four walks up the aisle toward them. He has a backpack on, she can see the straps. His tight black shirt shows off muscles he didn't have before. His face is tired, defeated. Christina has never seen him so... lost. His feet are dragging, ever so slightly.
When he reaches their table, he gingerly slips one strap of his backpack off, and makes a show of keeping it level while he places it on the bench next to Christina, the only open spot on their table. It's then she realizes it's not an ordinary old backpack at all.
A small, dark-haired infant is asleep on her little hands. When Four sets her down, she opens her little eyes, which are his. Dark, dark blue. And his hair is on her head. Dark, dark brown. But there is something in the way she blinks slowly, taking in everything around her, how she sends me a small smile when she sees me staring. There's something in the way she kicks her little feet just to feel the air brush her toes, that is not Four.
"Tris." I say quietly. But the cafeteria is still and silent, so it echoes off the walls as Four reaches into the backpack to unbuckle her. "Where is she?!" I say, my voice escalating. It doesn't scare the small child, but Four doesn't look up. "Four, Where is Tris?" I say. My tone is demanding, stern, but he still ignores me as he lifts the small girl out of the back pack and sits down. He has to support her head still, so she's very young. Finally, he answers, though his reply is so quiet I barely hear it.
"She's dead."
I gasp and reel away. My eyes are filling with tears. He's not looking at me, not looking at anyone but the girl in his arms. The daughter he and Tris never told me they were going to have.
It shouldn't have been like this. They should have both been here, running down the halls, making noise. she should be blushing every time we catch her staring at him, every time we open their door and they are making out like there's no tomorrow. There should have been a wedding, hers and mine. And Zeke and Uriah would tease Four and dare him to do something stupid before he 'bites the dust'. It shouldn't be like this.
I don't even know when my first tear drops, I'm just aware of Marlene asking "What's her name?" Tobias swallows, his adam's apple bobbing. "S-Saraphina. She's 36 hours old." A day. Tris has been gone for a day, maybe less. That means two days ago, she was bright, and happy, and alive. I remember what she said. "I joined Dauntless because I wanted to be free." What was it like for her to leave? To become free?
I never expected to lose her. She was so bright, and strong. And if I ever wondered what would happen if she died, I never expected it to hurt this much. This ache in my chest, and the pounding in my head.
I will never see her again. I will never see her laugh. I will never see her smile. I'll never see the birds on her collarbone, or her hair in the wind. I'll never see the way she frowns at herself in the mirror before cracking up over Four's raised eyebrow. I'll never even get to say goodbye. And what's worse, I don't think I would if I had the chance. How can you say goodbye to someone that special?
A sudden anger fills me. I don't even know why. "Why did you leave?!" I grab my lunch tray and hurl it at the ground, where it breaks into three. "She could have had the baby here! She could have see Will propose! (Four's eyes flash to my hand.) She could still be alive, God damn it! Why the hell did you leave!" Sara's lower lip is trembling ever so slightly. Four holds his hand in front of her, and she focuses on the new toy she has.
"When she got pregnant, I flipped out. Dauntless isn't a safe place for pregnant women, and we have a lot of enemies here. I didn't want to risk it. I- I took her to Amity. I know a guy there, and we rented a little house on a cliff, and that's where we went. She loved the sunshine..." He clears his throat, and moves his fingers away before Sara can get a good grip. She scrunches up her face in concentration, then reaches for his hand again.
"And she died yesterday?"
He nods, and the pieces come together in my head. "36 weeks along isn't enough time to have a baby." He's silent, then he says: "Her labor pains started the day before yesterday. They continued on through the night. Around 7 in the morning, she had little Sara, and died later that afternoon." He wipes his eyes wearily. "I buried her before I came here." His voice cracks, before he says "I'm sorry Christina."
My vision starts to swim to the point of I can't see anything. I reach for the small child, and he places her in my arms, adjusting my grip so her weight is properly supported. I clutch her to my body and she reaches up and pulls my hair. This is Tris's daughter. Her only child. My niece, or something like that. I burst into tears and readjust her to counter the waterfalls pouring from her eyes. Will comes over and hugs me. Four reaches over and moves Sara's hair around. She doesn't know what's going on. "I suppose." Four says quietly. "That a fire that burns that bright is not meant to last."
Christina throws her head back and laughs as the little girl pouts beside her. April sure is a handful. Beside her, she sees the corners of Four's mouth twitch up. They both stare up out of the pit and wait for the first jumper.
"And you're sure she doesn't know anything?" I ask.
He nods. "I never told her anything and forbid her to come here. She listens to me."
I chuckle. "She always has." Even when she was a child, she followed his instructions to the 't'. It's the few things anout her that are more Four than Tris. More Abnegation than Dauntless.
We hear a gasp and I feel like I've stepped back in time to when I watched Tris jump off the building with a gasp and a laugh. It sounds exactly like her anyway. Then the black figure lands in the net, and Four raises his eyebrows. He lets her sit there a moment, then reaches across the net to grab her hand. Her face comes into view and I smile. Four purses his lips in an effort to hide a smile and says "What? You get pushed?" She shakes her head and throws her arms around him.
Her father, Four.
Sara grew to be just as short as her mom. She did fill out, but remained birdlike, agile. Her hair is dark, and her eyes are dark. But she is so much like Tris it kills.
Four turns to the crowd and shouts "First Jumper! Sara!" Then we hear the screams of another initiate, and a blue mass falls into the net. Erudite. I reach across and pull him over. His eyes immediately take in how pretty I am, but then he spots the ring on my finger, and my swollen stomach. I hope Tris wasn't as sick as I am now, but Four tells me it isn't much different. April tugs on my hand as another girl jumps.
April is my daughter. My pride and Joy. A year after Tris's death, Will and I were married, and now have April, and a baby boy on the way. I rest my hand on my stomach and my wedding ring sparkles. Four has one too, though he is not officially married. He's told me it symbolizes Tris, and how she'll always be a part of him. It also acts as a defense, as he just flashed his wedding ring to the girl he pulled off the net. She scowls, and goes to flirt with the erudite boy, who is now soley focused on Sara.
I once wondered if Tris would make it through initiation. Somehow, I have no fear that Sara will.
She belongs with us. She just may not know it yet.