Summary: Another way "Attached" could have ended. Picard and Crusher deal with being disconnected, their friends' concerns, and taking their relationship to the next level.

Disclaimer: Paramount created the characters and the series. I merely like to dream of where the characters can go.

Finding One Another

December, 1998

She couldn't decide which was more uncomfortable - laying face down on the bio-bed or trying to sleep on the hard Kes-Prytt ground the night before. The bio-bed was quickly winning.

They did not make the beds for this position, she thought. The response that came was spoken only in her head; At least the dirt gave some.

Lying with her head propped on her arms, her face on the bed, Doctor Beverly Crusher smiled at the voice's humor. The position was necessary for her staff to examine the implants attached to her and her captain's upper neck. Captain Jean-Luc Picard lay on the bed next to hers in the same position waiting patiently. They really had no choice. It was up to the doctors and nurses of the U.S.S. Enterprise's sick bay to decide the best way to remove the implants that allowed Crusher and Picard to hear each other's thoughts.

The discomfort of lying on the beds for two hours now seemed trivial compared to having spent the past two days first locked up in a small cell in the Kes colony then running from Kes soldieries through mountainous terrain. Of course, the need to eat after two days of no food was also trivial compared to the fact the two Star Fleet officers and friends were alive to whine about the whole ordeal. That didn't stop the Enterpriser's chief medical officer from dreaming a big bowl of homemade soup.

Stop that! Picard's cry was a surprise for Crusher, but it distracted her from her hunger and her discomfort. Sorry.

What is taking them so long?

This is new technology Jean-Luc. They have to make sure they will not hurt us in removing the implants, Crusher thought.

Why can't the Kes remove them?

You know the answer to that.

Crusher was just as impatient as her captain. She would love to be standing over him examining the implants first hand. As it was, her staff had ordered her to remain still and was refusing to tell her anything.

She heard Commander William Riker's voice speak to the captain. Riker was still catching Picard up on ship business during his and Crusher's captivity. Will had done a good job avoiding a violent conflict between the Kes, Prytt and the Enterprise. He had also found new information that would stop this world from joining the Federation.

"Should I write the report for Star Fleet," Riker asked Picard.

"Yes, you handle it. Dr. Crusher and I will report the capture, but your face-to-face experience best describes this planet. Let that be the lead of the report. And go ahead and send it. No reason to make the Prytt wait for the Federation's answer," Picard answered. "Do you agree, Doctor?"

"Yes, we never even got to meet the Prytt. I don't how we can comment on them at all."

Riker nodded, not thinking the two could not see his response with their faces hidden. "Well, I will get out of the way. I believe the medical staff has placed both of you on medical leave. Even after the implants are out, you both need rest . . ."

"Will, after the implants are removed, I will be back on duty," Picard demanded. Crusher almost joined him in the statement. Don't we deserve some time off after that little trip?

The thought raced to Picard and he sighed at loud. Do you agree with the leave?

Yes, to a point.

All right. "All right Number One, we will see how things are tomorrow before I demand the big chair back," Picard said finally bringing Riker back into the conversation.

Looking a bit confused, not for the first time that day, Riker acknowledged the captain before retreating out of sick by.

Happy, Doctor.

Yes.

Good, now tell me what you are hiding from me.

Hiding from you. We have brain implants that allow us to hear each other's thoughts. What could I be hiding? Beverly pushed the panic away that was building so as not to give Jean-Luc more proof she was worried about something.

There. You did what I tried to do last night. You pushed something away. What is it?

It's nothing.

Beverly. The tone he used was all business and close to the tone he used when demanding obedience from the crew. She knew she was not going to be able to hide it for long. The worry was pushing to consume her.

What if they can't remove the implants?

You tell me. You are the doctor.

Physically, the only danger I can see is the reaction we had when we tried to separate. And it's not really a danger. We may be stuck together. She heard him laugh at the idea of being joined at the hip. Mentally and emotionally . . .

Is Deanna's specialty? They both fell silent waiting for their brains to understand the implications of a long term connection. That's not the only thing worrying you.

Again there was silence. It drew out so long Jean-Luc was tempted to look up at his friend to see if she was okay. Then the panic flooded through the link and into his brain like a giant tilde wave.

"Beverly!"

Dr. Selar, who was working over Crusher, froze, examining the bio-readings of her patience. "Dr. Crusher, is something wrong? Captain, what is it?"

This time, Picard did look up, first at Beverly then to the Vulcan. Beverly's emotions had settled, but there was silence. "It's all right doctor. I just respond to a thought Dr. Crusher had."

He left things at that, turning his head back into his arms. The Vulcan returned to work. Beverly remained silent. Beverly, what is it? Talk to me.

Slowly she opened the gates holding her feelings inside. What if we don't let them remove the implants?

We can't do that. We don't know the long term effects. We don't know what they will do next.

But I don't want to lose you.

You're not going to, Beverly. Why would you lose me now?

I like knowing you are only a thought away. I'm addicted. I'm not alone anymore.

You have never been alone. You will not be alone. Picard was shocked at the power Beverly's feeling had. Fear of being alone was almost drowning out everything else. Then there was the strength of her belief she had been alone up until now. Beverly, what did you find last night?

Love.

Do you think after this many years of loving you, I would suddenly stop? That I would allow you to be anything but happy?

You can't control my happiness. Beside, you said things had changed.

No, I can't control your happiness, but I can be there to help you reach that happiness. And yes, things have changed, for the better. Beverly, I love you. I will not go away. This ability is not ours.

But it has changed so much.

Yes. But it will not solve our problems. We will face them together head-on. You just won't be able to read my mind before I say something. We can't function like this. We were already getting on each other's nerves down on the plant. Can you image this for the rest of our lives?

Yes.

It was Picard's turn to go silent. The void was filled by Dr. Selar's voice.

"You can sit up. I need more time to study the implants before I feel safe in removing them. You both will relax better if you are out of main sick bay and comfortable. Both of you need sleep and food. One of the private rooms will be better for you to relax in overnight."

No! I want to go home.

Picard glanced at Crusher before speaking to Selar. "Dr. Selar, we have already spent a night with the implants in place with no ill effects. Why is it necessary for us to stay in Sick Bay tonight," Picard asked.

The doctor thought a moment before looking at Crusher. "It is logical for you to stay in Sick Bay so we can observe your condition. Do you not agree, Doctor?"

Crusher pulled herself together as she sat up. "The computer can observe us just as well, Selar. And I can keep an eye on us both."

"If you say so, Doctor. Please return to Sick Bay at 08:00 hours," Selar said, before turning to a new patient.

Picard jumped down from the bed. He guided Crusher off the bed and led her from the medical facility with his hand on her waist. Once out of view, his hand grasped her arm and turned her toward the turbolift. In the lift, the hand slipped into hers and squeezed.

Do you hate Sick Bay that much, Doctor?

Just when I am the patient. Picard nodded in agreement.

So, your place or mine, he thought exiting the lift at their deck.

Yours is fine, if we go by mine first.

Picard led her down the empty hall to her quarters. Beverly moved away from Jean-Luc, quickly gathering personal items.

Why don't you take a shower here?

You don't mine waiting?

No. Go ahead. Can I check messages on your computer?

Yes. Beverly walked into the bathroom and paused. Jean-Luc?

I'm here Beverly. Is something wrong?

No. Do you feel sick?

No. I feel fine.

The distance is getting greater.

Yes. I wonder if that is good or bad.

Beverly didn't answer, but started the shower. Jean-Luc sat at her desk in the living room waiting for another comment. When none came, he turned to the computer, entering his personal code. A few messages later he finished and logged out.

Beverly, you have messages. Would you like me to check them?

Yes. Crusher-Omega-9-6-4.

Lt. Cause sent a thank you note. Star Fleet medical sent an invitation to teach at a workshop on Delia V. I thought you turned that down.

I did. They are not taking no for an answer. They think they can harass me into taking it.

Picard laughed at the statement, before going on and stopping in surprise. Beverly, there's a message from Wesley.

Read it!

Are you sure?

Jean-Luc, I would only have to tell you about it later. Read it.

Hi, Mom and Captain Picard. Why did he address it to me too?

He always does. He knows I tell you about all his letters.

Oh. Picard smiled. You would not believe how much material there is to learn. Well, actually, you would, wouldn't you. Ha! Captain, I understand now why you love space exploration. It's hard, but I'm enjoying the academy. I will be on Vulcan in four weeks. What are the chances of you being there? I would love to see you both, if you are not too far out. I will stay as long as you can be there. I will be at Star Base 49 in two weeks. You can leave a message there if you can make it.

Picard paused as Crusher dashed out of the bathroom and round the desk. She lends over his shoulder reading. While I would love to see the command staff, it is you and the Captain I really want to see. I have so much to tell you. Mom, just go ahead and order the Captain to take vacation.

Both laughed at the usual trueness of the joke. Can't wait to hear from you. Love you both. Crusher turned her head and looked directly into Picard's eyes. So, what are the chances?

Excellent. I would not miss him for anything. When we get to my quarters, I'll do the paperwork and we can reserve passage and accommodations.

Beverly hugged him, her excitement so strong it was like another person in the room. Jean-Luc returned the hug before pushing her toward the bedroom again. Go get your things. Let's go.

###

In the captain's quarters, Beverly began setting the table for a meal. Jean-Luc went to shower. In the bathroom, he remembered Beverly's question. *Beverly?*

*I'm here.*

*Just making sure. Do you feel all right?*

*Perfect.*

He laughed. *No, not perfect, you are still thinking about soup.*

*I'm hungry.*

*Then fix it. I will be there before it cools.*

A few minutes later, Jean-Luc walked out of his bedroom dressed in his favorite clothes; the very clothes that always sent Beverly's thoughts racing. The shirt hung open, showing a large chunk of gorgeous chest. The pants fit almost too perfectly. Before she realized, her thoughts drifted through the link to the object of her attention. Picard stopped in the middle of the room staring at her as her face turned bright red.

*Wow, what a complement. You should have told me. I would have worn this more often.*

The softly spoken words caused the doctor to turn brighter red. She turned from the view back to the table, setting the last bowl down.

*Come eat.*

*Yes, ma'am.*

The two ate in silence, letting stray thoughts drift through the link, with no words spoken. When the meal was finished, Beverly cleaned up as Picard moved to his own computer.

*In four weeks time, we should be able to catch a Mars Transport to Vulcan from Star Base 10.*

*That sounds good.*

*The mission scheduled for then Riker can handle with ease. Do you care where we stay?*

*No, just somewhere nice.*

*All right. Okay, I have a suite booked for 14 days. That will give us a bed each and central area.*

*Perfect.* She turned from the clean table. *What now?*

*Tell me what you meant in Sick Bay.*

*I was being silly. Forget it.*

*No. Tell me. Talk to me about it, Beverly.* Beverly turned from him, walking to the windows.

*I want to hide.* The thought slipped through the link before Beverly could stop it.

*No. I'm not letting you hide.*

*You hide from things.*

*Beverly, you said you wanted the implants left in. Tell me why you want that. Tell me, or I will call Counselor Troi.*

She turned from the window, resigning herself to telling him the truth rather than dealing with Deanna. *You would call her, wouldn't you?* Sitting on the couch, she looked across the room at him.

"I'm not sure how you do it," her voice sounded a bit strange after so long of only thinking. But saying the words made her feel more comfortable for some reason. "I don't know how you live your life so alone."

"I'm not alone. It may seem that way, but I know you are there. Deanna is there and Will. You are not alone either. If you feel that way, then you need to look around again."

He moved to sit next to her on the couch. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her to him, allowing her to lean on him, her head resting on his shoulder.

"What you said on the planet, about not feeling that way anymore . . ."

"Was true. So was what I thought afterwards, that didn't get through the link."

Beverly turned enough to look in his eyes, "What did I miss?"

Jean-Luc closed his eyes and leaned his head forward, resting his forehead on hers. Relaxing, he pulled down all of the barriers in his mind, allowing all of his feeling for the first time to pour into Beverly's brain.

Beverly gasped at the rush of feelings and grasped his shirt for support. Her mind was filled with desire and needs that Jean-Luc felt. They matched her so well.

"What I felt for you 20 years ago is gone. What exists now is stronger, fuller, and eternal. My lust for you 20 years ago grew, changed, and slowly died while you were married to Jack and after he died. When you came on board, I fell in love, truly in love with you. That is not going to change," Jean-Luc whispered.

"And if you wind up on my operating table," bring her other greatest fear into the light.

"You will do your best to save me. And if you can't, we will have had these years together, as friends, family, and hopefully more. We don't need these implants to tie us together. We will forever be tied together. You are not alone."

His words comforted her. They didn't solve everything, but it eased her guilt and loneliness for now. They were like a sweet song that she never wanted to end. And it never would, she thought.

Never. I promise, his voice said.

Beverly slipped into sleep, resting against Jean-Luc. He smiled at the peacefulness that claimed her in sleep. He wished that peacefulness could extend to her waking hours as well. That would take time, he knew. There was still so much to be dealt with. He wondered if Beverly even realized how complicated her thoughts were. But they both needed sleep.

He had worried about sleeping arrangements once they reached his cabin. That was not going to be a problem. Rising, he carried her to his bed. Tucking her in, he kissed her forehead. Undressing, he slipped into the bed beside her. She immediately searched out his warmth. Picard slept holding his woman tightly for the first time.

###

The next morning, Picard and Crusher walked into sickbay, fully prepared for the implants to be disconnected. By lunch, the devices were removed. Beverly smiled at Jean-Luc as her staff finished working on her. Picard's implant had been removed first. In all, it had taken only an hour for the mental connection between them to be broken.

Selar read over Crusher reading once more before turning to her boss. "All readings are normal. You should feel no discomfort from the connection. Although, I still advise you both to take some time off."

Crusher smiled at the Vulcan, "How about the rest of the day? I have a vacation coming up in four weeks. That's enough time off for me."

"I concur, doctor," Picard spoke up. "How about we have lunch together and see what trouble we can find."

"Perfect," Beverly said, jumping down from the bed. The couple exits the facility, leaving Selar wondering how she had been left out of the conversation again.

Picard escorted Crusher toward the door. "Now for the next major battle."

"What do you mean," Beverly looked up at Jean-Luc.

"Troi," he said smiling. While he considered the empath a crucial part of his crew and a very good friend, he knew she would want to talk to him and the doctor. In doing so, she would figure out what had happened, on the planet and in his quarters last night. "Do you want her to know about our conversation last night?"

"No," Beverly said, halting just outside of Sick Bay's doors. Her good mood had vanished. "No, its bad enough you had to know."

"Beverly," Jean-Luc whispered. He reached out to lay a hand on her cheek. "I was the right one to know. I was the only one that could help you get over that feeling. Now, the question is, do you need Deanna's help to deal with the rest of it or are you okay?"

"I don't want her to know. I'm fine. I have you, right."

Picard smiled his gentlest smile, and nodded. They turned for the turbolifts to find Riker and Troi waiting for a lift. "Let the game begin." And distraction was its name.

Troi smiled at her friends, "So, how does it feel to not be telepathic again?"

"Wonderful," Crusher said, smiling at her friends as she jumped into the game of distracting Troi. "You would not believe how boring our captain is."

Riker coughed to cover his laugh, turning to Picard, whose only response was a raised eyebrow at Riker, not at Crusher.

"Come doctor, you must have learned some interesting things," Troi continued.

"Oh, yes. Like, he wonders when Will will stop playing mother hen," Crusher joked.

This time, Picard laughed, not trying to cover the humor of Riker's insulted expression. The lift opened and the four entered. Riker called for the bridge, followed by Picard's call for Ten-Forward.

"Number One, the doctor and I will be taking the rest of today off. Expect me on the bridge in the morning. We will resume staff meetings in the morning as well."

"Aye, Captain. What do you have planned for the rest of the day?"

"Oh, something that completely harasses the doctor. I owe her for several insolent comments she has made to me in the last three days."

Troi laughed, looking up at Crusher, "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing. If anything, I owe him for the way he dragged me all over that planet and then kept me awake with his snoring."

The two men, standing side by side, watched the women across the small lift. When they looked at each other, they both rolled their eyes in exasperation.

The women noticed it, both commenting on it.

"What does that look mean, Will Riker," Troi demanded.

"Don't give me that look, Jean-Luc. I gave as well as I took."

The lift doors opened to the bridge, with Troi and Riker exiting. The doors closed on the couple starting to argue. Picard and Crusher laughed at the pair, turning back to one another.

"That was mean," Beverly said.

"You started it. Besides, why should we have all the fun," Picard asked, grasping Beverly hand and pulling her into an embrace. "So, what do we do with the rest of the day?"

"We could plan our trip to Vulcan?"

"Yes, but what about finding something to do on the holodeck?"

"Only, if you get to be Dixon Hill and I get to be your squeeze."

"I like the way you think doctor. Oh, and I do not snore."

###

On the Bridge, Riker and Troi froze just outside the turbolift, their argument halting.

Riker looked at Troi, "Why are we arguing?"

"We have just been set up."

The couple resumed down the ramp to their seats with Riker starting the conversation again, quietly. "What do you mean set up?"

Troi sat still, focusing on Picard, Crusher and the scene in the turbolift. "I was trying to get some idea of how they were in the lift. They both blocked me."

"How does that mean we were set up? Besides, both of them have learned to block you when they want to."

"No, this was different. Beverly jumped in with the jokes and the captain followed her lead. They purposely were teasing us and each other to distract me for sensing anything. But . . ."

"But what," Riker pushed, starting to see the pattern the jokes had led.

"I tried to focus on Beverly and it was the captain's feeling I found. He was projecting his emotions, broadcasting them almost. That is not like him."

"What were his emotions?"

"He was happy, comfortable, looking forward to spending more time with the doctor. But there was also something protective about his feeling. It was like he was trying to cover Beverly's emotions with his own."

"Did you get anything from Beverly?"

"Yes, fear."

The two officers looked at one another for a look second. They knew this would have to be looked into.