Chapter 1

Why?

Disclaimer: I don't not own any of the characters I am writing about, I own nadda

It was a warm day in the feudal era; the heat index was blazing down upon the group. Sango and Miroku were extremely warm since they were in a kimono. Kagome wasn't as hot, thanks to the wonderful clothing of the future. Though she wished the rest of the group would try some as well. These hot summer days wouldn't be so gruesome if they had some breathing room. Inuyasha normally doesn't get warm. He seems to think since he's part demon he isn't as weak as normal humans. Though I know he is lying because I watch closely sometimes, mainly out of boredom, but I have seen beads of sweat run down his forehead. So I guess his pride is keeping him from showing he is just as hot as the rest of us. I did bring some future clothing for them to try on for the summer a long time ago and they still refuse to wear them, It was kind of insulting.

Sometimes I feel sorry for the hanyou, he feels as though he has to have such a rough exterior so that he seems tough, but the group knows him very well, we know he puts up a show but on the inside he is just as vulnerable as the rest of us and even has a tender heart. Thought we all know better than to say anything about it, he would just puff out his chest and say we all are just crazy and our brain are just being melted by the sun since were so weak. I almost giggle at the thought of him trying to defend his manliness.

I have been in the feudal era for about 3 years now. I miss my family dearly but I don't belong there anymore. This time is where I feel the most at peace within myself. My friends back in the future couldn't relate to me anymore. I was just too different than the 15 year old girl that first fell down the well. I had become in a sense a wise woman, an old soul wondering around with her friends, defeating rouge demons.

Naraku has been defeated and the time period is now rebuilding and connecting with one another. He had ruined so much and caused some much fear and disarray, I thought it would take decades before the people of this time period would ever feel as safe as they once did. I mean living in a world with a bunch of monsters isn't as safe as id hoped but Naraku had stolen almost all the hope in the four regions. But to my surprise it had been almost two years for all to come back from being cowards. I feel bad for the humans sometimes. Being so low on the food chain, in the future we are top dog, nothing in the world really can kill us besides our own machines and some of the predators that have developed after the demons apparently died out or went into hiding. I haven't sensed any so far, but sometimes I'd walk down the street and feel eyes upon me, like they know that I am a miko of great power and fear that they will be figured out.

But they don't know me very well or maybe they do, everyone knows of the dark haired girl that traveled with the famous half demon Inuyasha who defeated the evil spider that threated to take over the world. A miko who took in a demon child, who holds no grudge against all demons that cross her path. To them she was a freak almost, being so abnormal about everything. She used to wear her school uniform but she started to notice how the males of every village gave her lusty looks and it creped her out to no end. So she decided to change her outfit, she now wore and miko attire, but it wasn't traditional. She hated the traditional miko attire, she looked too much like kikyou in some ways and she wanted to be her own person. She still wears some future clothing at times but only when they aren't around people. She changes into the mike attire when they were close to a village.

Her attire was on a different color scale, she was dressed in a white top and black bottoms, her hair was put up in ponytail. Her hair was much longer than before, almost as long as Sesshoumarus. She couldn't bear to cut it; her mother had always said she would look beautiful with long hair. So now she keeps in long, in memory of her mother and the family she had to leave behind. I was kind of hoping to settle down before I became too old. I am 18 now and I still haven't found anyone who will take me as their wife. Back in these days I should have had a husband around the age of 14, so it looks kind of bad being so old, no one wants to marry a woman to old since they didn't live very long half the time. I was hoping inuyasha would ask me but ever since I came back he has been acting weird. Like he isn't happy that I am back for good and I couldn't figure out why. I mean as I grew older I started to mature, my face now looked nothing like Kikyou, my eyes even changed color, it's kind of strange really, the more time I stayed in the feudal era the more they began to change. They were now an ice blue, with hints of green within them; they were strange among the rest of the humans I have come across. And I get stares for them, people sometimes say I am a witch since I am so different, but I just shake it off. I couldn't let everything everyone says to me hurt my feelings, or id be a bloody wreck. And all these years will inuyasha has hardened my heart to insults, since he is the master in that area.

Though my heart was still forgiving, but sometimes I feel my heart stagger in between forgiveness and bitterness. I know I am still a good person, but sometimes I feel so underappreciated and used. He never says thank you for anything I do for him, and always finds something to complain about. I can't ever seem to make him happy, and I don't know why. I am always by his side and I take all the bull crap and the attitudes an insults but he won't stop. It's like he is punishing me for coming back to the feudal era…like he would have rather have me there instead of here…but it is too late to go back now… the well is closed and no matter how many times I try and jump in… it just never works. And it kills me on the inside…I mean I love him…I want him to be happy I am here…and I feel so unwanted…like it's a curse that I am here…. I wish I knew what to do sometimes. Shippou, Sango, and Miroku are happy that I am here, heck even kirara is happy I am here. But it's just him that has the problem with me….

One day I even asked him what I had done wrong…and he just keh'd and said I didn't know what I was talking about and to stop asking such stupid questions…I was so angry that I sat him for the first time in months. And I gotta tell ya, it felt great to see him kiss the dirt again…but my amusement was short lived, once he pulled himself out of the crater I made for him he ran off and I haven't seen him since…. I want to tell him I'm sorry but I can't find him…it's like he just went poof and now he's just gone…and it's all my fault. I wait up all night to see if he has returned yet…it's been a how week, if I counted the day's right…and he's still missing. Sometimes I think the worst has happened to him and that I got him killed or worse all because I lost my temper. I never was good at keeping it in check when it came to him and his antics. I am starting to get desperate really…and I have come to a decision. If he doesn't come back tonight I am going to the western lands and beg the assistance of his brother…Sesshomaru…I know I shouldn't but somehow Inuyasha has masked his aura, and I can't feel him anymore…I never knew he could mask his aura…but he could also…god forbid…but he could be dead…because if he knew how to mask his aura all this time…then why use it now? There had to be an explanation… and since I couldn't smell his sent like other demons could I needed help. I mean Shippou might me a full demon but he is just a child, and his senses aren't as developed as a full grown demon was.

It was starting to get dark out again, and the group had settled down for the night, Miroku went to go catch fish and Sango went to get fire wood. And me and Shippou when for a bath, he had climbed up a tree and gotten sap all over him somehow, so I took him to a hot spring to wash him up for dinner. Once we were done we headed back to camp, were I found Sango and Miroku already cooking the fish and had gotten the fire running. "Guys I am so sorry! I was supposed to do all of this…it's just that Shippou had so much sap In his hair I had to wash it five times" I said sadly, I hated it went I couldn't contribute to stuff like this in the group, I was already a burden since I still wasn't full trained but I have been working on it. Kaede and I have been working on my skills, and she says that I have improved greatly and I every time I do something better than before I can feel my pride swell for myself, because I have always been weak amongst the others, always being the one who needed rescuing, but not anymore, I am going to get strong, so that my group…my friends….are proud of me and what I am becoming, a warrior miko. There hasn't been a miko strong enough to be considered a warrior miko since Midoriko. Me and kaede have been thinking for a while, and we have come to a understanding that I am not Kikyous reincarnation, because If I had been than I would be only as strong as she had been, and even though she was strong I am considerably stronger. If I was her reincarnation, my power should only surpass hers by a little if not at all. In a way I was relieved that I wasn't her reincarnation…it turns out we only look alike because since she burned the shikon no tama with her body, the jewel took in here essence and transferred it to in a way, but I only look like her when I was younger. We believe Kikyous essence was only a temporary thing, now I was looking like Midoriko. I think the shikon did this so that it looked like I was Kikyous reincarnation so that I had a better chance of survival. I think that if I looked a lot like Midoriko the whole time, more demons would try and destroy me because I am the greatest weapon against them. So I the shikon took Kikyous essence in a hopeful prayer that I could live long enough to complete my mission, to release Midoriko from her prison and to gain the other half of my power. So that I can become the Miko warrior I've been working so hard to be.

Sometimes I think Inuyasha was upset that I didn't look like his dead first love anymore…like I was the only thing he had that was her…in a way…. And it made me angry to think that he only kept me around because I looked like her in some way. But I hope I am wrong somehow…like somehow he cares about me for me and not because of her.

After we ate, everyone had started to go to sleep, but I stayed awake as long as I could, waiting for him to come back. And to my dismay he hadn't again. So I went to sleep with the plan to go to the western lands and beg Sesshomaru for help.

The sun slowly rose that morning, it was cool and the smell of the spring air felt strong. I sat up and began to dress myself. I waited for the others to wake up before I headed out. One by one they stirred. When I felt as though everyone was awake, I decided it was now or never. "Today I am leaving to the western lands" I spoke with an even voice. They all stopped what they were doing and look at me with confusion. Sango was the first to speak "Why on earth would you want to go their? That's Sesshomarus lands, there's no telling what he'll do to you if he finds you there!" she said quickly, her voice filled with panic and concern. I understood her worry because I was just as worried about the outcome of the meeting with Sesshomaru might lead to. We all know he isn't the nicest demon in the world but he does have some honor and I don't believe he will kill me as long as I play my cards right. Shippous voice ripped me out of my own thoughts "Kagome! You can't go there! Who's going to protect you if Sesshomaru isn't in a friendly mood…or is in the mood for talking?" his little eyes grew huge and began to water, he must be thinking about me dying by the hand of the demon lord. But I have faith in the fact that I can change his mind about killing me since I pose no threat to someone as powerful as he. I may be getting powerful but until I can get there I won't give myself a huge ego boost.

I reached out to him, to try and comfort him. He threw his arm around her neck and whimpered into her cheek. I make him look at me and say "Sweetie it's okay, Sesshomaru may be a jerk but he is honorable, he won't become hostile as long as I show him the respect that he believe he is in titled to, I would never do anything that would take me away from you, I love you too much for that, okay?" I say in a gentle manner. Shippou looks at me with tearful eyes and sobs "I love you mama…" into my shirt. I pat his back to sooth him, I lay him on my lap and let him sleep a bit. Miroku looks at me and says softly to not wake the sleeping kit "Are you sure you want to do this, its dangerous, you may not come back alive, think about Shippou Lady kagome" his eyes pleading in a way, I knew they would pull that one, and to be honest I am doing this for Shippou, I need Inuyahas help to take care of the group, but she wasn't very strong. Miroku and Sango are strong but we need Inuyashas strength to help out when a demon attacks us. We are all vulnerable without him here to back us up. "Without the Hanyou we are not as strong as we are when we have him here, if a powerful demon were to come and attack we wouldn't make it, we are all just human, we don't have the power of his sword to pick up the slack, he is our leader, he should be here with us and I fear for his well-being because he's never been gone this long…please let me go find him…." My eyes drop to the grass, tears began to form but I hold them back bitterly…I hate to show weakness…she need to control her emotions or she won't become any stronger and will forever be the burden they have to share. She whips her eyes and looked at the group, she was determined to do this and they all knew it.

Sango looked at her friend with pity…she knew the Kagome was hurting greatly because the half breed was missing. Sango knew her sister loved him…didn't know how she could but she does. "Okay…I'll let you go…but promise not to go getting yourself killed…we all need you to come back…and when you find Inuyasha give him a good sitting for me because when he gets back I am going to kick his dog butt all around camp." She said with a small giggle, Kagome face lit up and she smiled at me. I knew I had to let her go even if I was going to be worried sick about her. She wants to go by herself because she thinks that if she was the one to ask Sesshomaru for help she may be able to get him to do it, she has a secret weapon she says. I am kind of worried about what that might be or if she's going to be in overhead, this is a demon lord, they were as powerful as a demon could get without the shikons power. So whatever she thinks she got better work because not many have the guts to request a favor of a demon lord and live to tell the tale of it.

I watched her remove Shippou from her lap, and gently wake him up. She told him to be strong for her and that he was the man of camp now. That he needs to stay here with me and Miroku so that if there was an attack he was there to keep them safe. He puffed out his chest and said proudly "I'll do my best mama, I'll take care of everyone while you're gone, I'll make you proud." It was kind of cute how she made him feel so brave. She gathered her things and bare them farewell for now. I knew I would see her again, Kagome was a strong woman, and everyone underestimates her. Well she is about to prove to everyone that she is a warrior and she isn't going to take disrespect anymore by the foes they would encounter. In the past three years, she has felt the rising levels of power that she was generating. Each year it doubled and she was pretty sure that Kagome was going to become the strongest miko to ever walk this planet. She was proud of her friend and supported her in anything she thought was right.

I watched my best friend walk away and slowly disappear from sight. Shippou let out some tears but soon whipped them away. I knew he would keep his promise to Kagome the best he could, the kit loved her more than anyone and she wondered if her children would love her like Shippou loves Kagome. I look at Miroku and he puts his hand on my shoulder and I lean into him. "I have faith that Lady Kagome will come back to us in one piece." He said gently into my ear, I sighed and prayed that he was right, that I would see my sister come back alive. Only time would tell.

Kagome had been walking for hours it seemed. It was very lonely to travel on your own; she soon realized how much she loved traveling with her friends. They would talk the whole time when they would walk to long destinations. It was comforting to have them there, and she wished she had there company. But she knew she had to do this on her own. She had something to prove…to herself and others.

It was past noon and she began to grow tiered of walking in the heat. She found a stream nearby with some trees for shade. She puts her stuff under a tree. She opened her sack and pulled out her bathing suit. She hated wearing this sometimes when there where men around she felt so exposed to their stares, it was like they were eye raping her, it made her feel sick to her stomach. After emerging from the bushes she was changing behind and walked toward the water. She was sweaty and her hair was beginning to become damp, she felt just plain gross. She wanted a bath but at the moment it was too early in the day still and you never know who will be walking by at this time. People don't normally travel at night because of the fear of the demons that roam around at night. So taking baths then was the best because no one would peep in on her.

She puts one toe in to test the water, it wasn't freezing but it wasn't hot, perfect in her opinion. She begins to slowly make her way into the water, relaxing into its temperature. As she gets to the middle of the stream, she realizes that it was actually pretty deep in the middle. She dives under the water and just sits there until her lungs begin to burn with the need for air. She resurfaces and begins to float on her back, losing herself into the serene feeling of just lying there in the calm waters. She closes her eyes; the yellow of the sun still shines on her eye lids. She sighs in contentment, wishing that everyday could feel this soothing…that life and love could feel this simple and calm. She opens her eyes when a cloud blocks the sun away, switching herself from floating back to swimming. She reaches the shore and dries herself off with her lone towel that she kept from her home in the future…she couldn't bring herself to get rid of it. For the first couple of weeks it smelled like her old home…and her mother's shampoos…she missed those scents…as a child her mother's scent was the one thing that could calm her down…. Now the towel just smelled of the wilderness…it almost pained her to know that she will never be able to smell her mother's scent ever again…that she was going to slowly forget the way she looked and how her home was set up…. But she chose this life…she chose the path she had to walk 3 years ago. She shouldn't regret the decision for it was her destiny to stay here. Fate had drug her here in the first place and she knew that there were things that needed to be done still. Something in the back of mind and lingered on the edge of her senses, warned her of something that was to come…or maybe it wasn't a warning but just a gentle wisp that something that was supposed to be…will be…if that even makes sense.

Sometimes the stories that gramps used to tell me, slink around in my mind sometimes. I remember when me and souta were younger we would beg him to tell us stories before bed. Sometimes we both would fall asleep on the coach and he would pick us up and take us back to our beds. I really miss them sometimes, but in my heart I know that they are just fine. I know they miss me too, which makes me feel less lonely.

I finished dressing after breaking out of my own thoughts. One more bad thing about traveling on your own, you're stuck with just yourself and your own thoughts. Well either way it sucks and I wish I had taken Kirara with me. I sigh to myself again; trying to stay optimistic was really hard when you're on your own. Maybe I can have some me time, evaluate my feeling and to make sense about all that has happened.

The sun was starting to set when I finally decided it was time to set up came. I walk a while to find the stream again. After catching a fish or two, she cleaned them and put them against the fire. I stared at the fire, letting the flames hold my troubled stare. I put a barrier around me so that if any trouble came around id be at least kind of protected enough to asses my situation before I attack.

I rest my head on my knees and try to relax against the tree behind me. My heart was heavy with emotions I couldn't fight away. I love the Hanyou very much…I want for us to have a try…I want to try and make him happy in a more tender way…but I can't seem to grab his attention. Was I just not enough woman for him or something? What about Kikyou was so much more appealing than me? Is she more a woman than me? Does her cold attitude really attract his heart so much? Why couldn't my kindness and acceptance warm his heart to me? Am I really that much uglier than her? Am I just to plain and bossy? It breaks my heart when he still goes to her…. When the Shikon was destroyed she came back. We don't know why but she just showed up and was human. And Inuyasha almost had a heart attack I think. But for some reason she refused his advances to her. The Hanyou was devastated at first but soon he was going after her every day at night. I guess he is trying to get her to love him again. I was afraid of that the most…him dying didn't even feel this bad….and I felt pretty horrible about the death part…so if only you could imagine the pain I went through thinking he was dead?

But another thing that I don't understand is why he has been gone for so long for? I don't see how me sitting him once would cause him to not come back for a whole week. I mean we've had some fights and normally he's right back to camp doing all the things that still annoy me. What makes this one time so different than the others. And I can't sense his aura anymore, which has never happened before. Who just starts masking there aura out of now where and has never mentioned having that ability makes my nervous wana jump out of me. Nothing feels right about this situation. That why Sesshomaru will be the best tool I have in finding Inuyasha. The half demon would never suspect me to go find Sesshomaru for help and he knows Shippou wouldn't be able to sniff him out. The way I see things right now is that he planned this who thing. Inuyashas behavior toward me has been strange for the last three years. But the question is…is why now? All of this thinking was giving her a headache.

She eats one fish and store the other one for tomorrow for a snack. I roll my old torn up sleeping bag and prepare myself for bed. I sit down into the lotus position and expands her aura across the forest, searching for a hot spring to bath at. There was on about five miles ahead and I inwardly sigh to myself. I really didn't want to walk that far for a bath, but I'm dirty and sweaty from the rest of the day. I had to make a fast decision considering she felt a couple of miner demon auras roaming these woods. I decided that I'll take the chances of fighting a demon for a bath, I'm not guna let some dumb demon get in the way of me and my bath because I am so not in the mood for retardation.

Review please, this my first story so please be gentle if you don't like it that you!