Tulip-Jin: Yeah, I took a writing class, frittered around with Twilight Princess for a while (yay!) and have decided to give this piece of crud the editing it so sorely deserves.

Yami Tulip-Jin: What, someone else is gonna write it? Sweet!

TJ: (eye twitching) YA-miiiiiiiiii...

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Disclaimer: "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; Persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; Persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

PS: Me no own Zelda!

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They call me the Guardian of Time. I'm also known as Gatekeeper, the Hero of Time, and just Link - but that's to my friends.

Not that I have time for them. They're always doing whatever they need to be doing, and I'm always busy too. Destiny, I suppose. Sometimes I consider cursing Destiny, but it's pointless.

Too bad. My curses are becoming a little too lethal to pass around anyway.

And how was I supposed to know that mask would ruin me? Sure, it defeated Majora. But when I woke up afterwards, I couldn't find it. I looked for that mask for years before I realized what happened. So I'm also called the Fierce Deity.

Such a power is too much for any mere mortal to handle, but I'm not any mere mortal so you'd think I'd be able to handle a little mask. Alas, not so. The Fierce Deity has a mind of his own. Or my mind does. I can't be certain sometimes. When I'm fighting, my friends say it's like I'm a different person. One of the great understatements of my lifetime, which is really saying something.

Another oddity. I've never been sure if it's the mask or my mixed blood that does it, but I have been alive for longer than reason. My body reached a stature somewhere between my original age and how old I was when I acted as the Hero of Time. Closer to my older form, thankfully.

Unfortunately, the moment I stopped growing, what should surface but the all-consuming need for complete destruction?

I pity those that haven't lived through my losses of self-control. It's part of the reason I took this job I watch the currents of time, make sure the worlds don't mess around with each other too much. It doesn't leave much time for company.

In many ways, that's a relief. On the other hand, that also means I get to deliver the bad news to everybody when something goes wrong. Often enough, I'm only confirming it for Zelda. Poor girl still gets nightmares when something's up.

As for me, I don't remember a time when I haven't had nightmares. Not one night of real sleep in my entire life. And Zelda thinks she has it bad…

TJ: Yeah...well, I AM trying to be true to the story I originally made...just review it, damn you!