Author's Notes:
This is the first time I am going to attempt a chaptered fic...I hope to update about every 2 weeks so please bare with me...
Some background info:
-This story is set post season 3...The first two chapters will be in flashbacks to their wedding/magic reveal, and then after that I hope to get into "The Vow" movie plot...
-*Mini-Spoilers* When Merlin looses his memory, he will only remember up to about 2x03...after that he forgets everything that has happened to him...
-Other pairings on the side include: Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/Merlin, past Arthur/Gwen
"You blundering IDIOT!" Arthur shouts out from his "changing room" behind the wooden panel, his voice pounding on Merlin's ear drums, echoing off the insides of his skull. "Merlin, get your lazy, worthless ass over here!"
Now what?
Merlin begins to imagine what he is in for as he rushes over to Arthur; considering the fact that the last time Arthur had sounded this irritated was five minutes ago, Merlin can only assume that he was responsible for whatever Arthur was raging about this time. But as the forces of evil would have it, Merlin is detoured from his path when his foot accidently bangs against the wooden chair, causing him to tumble on to the floor while grasping his toes.
"OW….yes, Sire?" an exhausted Merlin mutters into the ground.
"If you value your life," Arthur begins, "Don't you dare to even think laughing…"
"Wouldn't dream of it-although it was very funny when the other night at the tavern Gwaine dressed up in that dre-"
"MERLIN: Just explain to me how you managed THIS."
Merlin's eyes widen as a very flustered Arthur in a shocking and proud pink shirt steps out from behind the blinds. Standing with a foot on either side of Merlin's face, Arthur lifts an inquiring eyebrow before growling viciously as he wastes no time in producing a threat, "Please don't tell me you got my laundry mixed up with Gwen's again, cause if you do-I will have you publicly humiliated by hanging you from that neckerchief of yours!"
If holding back his laughter was not enough strength to get knighted, Merlin would never live to see a day that he would be treated like one. "S-S-Sire…Your shi-shirt: it's pinkkkkk!"
Someone must have sucked all the air out of him, for the next thing he knows, Merlin has collapsed over to his side and is bawling into the ground. When he manages to recollect himself, Merlin could see Arthur's unamused face just a few inches away from his own. Arthur raises his eyebrow as Merlin ceases his snickering; clearly Arthur had once again failed to see the humor of the situation, but nevertheless, Merlin's grin diminishes into his solemn, miserable self.
Merlin gulps and relinquishes all tendency of another outburst, "Um…I, uh…there's a very, um…you see, I kind of, uh-"
"Quit your blabbering, and tell me what the hell happened to my shirt!"
"I sort of-accidently of course, not that I would ever do this on pur-"
"MERLIN?!"
"OK! I accidently added one of my red neckerchiefs in with your white shirts when I was washing them..."
"You WHAT?!" Arthur shrieks, jumping up while he starts tearing his shirt off his back as if Merlin told him it was covered in parasites.
Arthur wastes no time on starting a lecture on hygiene and why Merlin should never wash his "infested" clothing with Arthur's; the bulging of Arthur's pants-which by the way was NOT his fault that his gaze came to rest on it considering that Arthur was standing right above his with his legs still apart…it was just there- was beginning to make Merlin's mouth water as his eyes stay fixated directly above him; it shocked Merlin that someone could be that tight in his pants.
And he's not even hard…
"Merlin! Are you even listening?!"
Blushing like a little schoolgirl caught doing something she was not supposed to, Merlin quickly brings his eyes up to meet Arthur's.
"Oh-uh, yeah…"
"Well?" Arthur seems to be getting even more frustrated by the second, "Aren't you going to fetch it for me?"
Merlin blinks absent mindedness, "Fetch what?"
Arthur raising his hand to his chin in mock thought replies, "Oh I don't know…A NEW SHIRT!"
"What's wrong with the old one? I think pink suits you…"
"Oh really…"
Merlin shuffles back and forth on his feet: the hint of sarcasm in Arthur's voice starts to haunt him. Arthur's gleaming slick abs, as if to taunt Merlin's stupidity, kept tugging Merlin's gaze towards them, and soon Merlin finds himself tracing the path down from Arthur's broad hairless chest to his muscular naval. It is absolutely not fair that Arthur gets such a big advantage in these arguments…would it kill him to have the decent to do these while wearing shirt?
Probably would...
"Well Merlin, since you seem to be such a fond of it, YOU can wear the shirt!"
Jaw dropped, Merlin starts stammering, "No Arthur, I can't…It wouldn't really match my skin tone…"
Grinning like the devil himself, Arthur picks up the recently discarded shirt up from the ground and hand it to him, "Oh but I insist…I'm sure the ladies swoon over a guy who is brave enough to wear the King's hand-me-downs…"
Shoving the shirt into Merlin's hands and after patting his back, Arthur starts pacing toward the door, but just before his dramatic exit, Arthur turns around with a smug expression.
"Oh by the way, since you transformed half my closet into Gwen's," Arthur eyeballs Merlin disgustedly, running his gaze over Merlin inattentively, "Make sure you muck out the stables before you fetch the horses!"
"Oh, but Arthur! These flowers are wonderful!" Gwen exclaims, tossing her arms around Arthur's neck as he hands her a bouquet of bright crimson orchids.
"And look: Merlin even made his outfit match them for the occasion," Arthur calls out, gearing his voice directly towards Merlin.
Craning his neck from behind the tree he was sitting beneath, Merlin does not know whether he is rolling his eyes because of Arthur's rude comment on his pink shirt or out of disgust as Gwen plants a kiss on Arthur's lips, but not before sending Merlin what he had come to call the "Royal Prat Smirk". Clearly Gwen has not learned: leave it to Arthur to take all the credit for Merlin's hard work.
"Hey! I picked those flowers…"
After he pulls away, Arthur glances over at Merlin, and since Arthur was sensing his discomfort, he winks and leans into Gwen to kiss her again, but this time he starts teasing her face, begging for her mouth to grant entrance.
"Oh, Now THAT is disgusting," Merlin wails out from his isolated hide out.
"Mmm…" Arthur lets out as a fake moan as Gwen starts planting small butterfly kiss on to his neck, "Merlin, shouldn't you be picking firewood now, or at least doing something with your life that isn't completely useless?"
"Ugh, if I did, would you guys kill this monstrosity," Merlin waves his hands, gesturing towards the embracing lovers, "before I come back?"
Merlin utters under his breath as he leaves the unfortunately happy couple to their smothering kisses.
As if on cue, the resonance of crunching leaves fades signaling Merlin's departure. Gwen quickly pulls away from Arthur's embrace and gives him a rather scolding look.
"What?" Arthur pleads while making big, teary, innocent eyes.
Gwen collapses on to the picnic blanket, her skirts pooling around her like a flower's petals.
"Oh please, Arthur! I feel like a child bickering with her best friend over a rag doll!" Smoothing her skirts, more out of desperation to give her hands something to rather than for the actual act, Gwen gives Arthur a piercing interrogative look, "Can't you just tell him how you really feel?"
Huffing rather dramatically while forgetting whom he was speaking to, Arthur states,"I'm the King of Camelot. I do not have to answer to the likes of you..."
Gwen's brown eyes widen to the size of saucers at Arthur's sudden slip up; her mouth flew open and was gaping at the King before summoning her face quickly to the smirk it was at before Merlin left on his "quest".
"Now what?!" Arthur shrieked while squirming under Gwen's criticizing glare.
"It's just you are so used to the idea of spending every second of your life with Merlin that you just mistook me for him..."
Arthur's faces flushes to deep red crimson before he retorts, "Well Gwen: they do say love makes you do strange things."
Crinkling her eyebrows out of confusion, Guinevere gives Arthur yet another questioning look before stating, "If I didn't know any better I'd say that you were quoting Merlin..."
As if in response Arthur clenches his hands in fists while the muscles by his jaw jumps.
Gwen gasps in a deep breathe before backing up her accusations, "You were quoting Merlin, weren't you?!"
"Why on earth would someone willing requote any of the garbage that flows out of his mouth?" Arthur protests, but slowly he lets in a sly smirk before turning towards Gwen, "Besides if everything does go as planned, then I will be spending every second in my life with the idiot...just Merlin, me, some oil, and hours of nothing but-"
"I get your point!" Gwen cuts in out of embarassment and disgust, blushing an even deeper shade of brown as soon as she realized what the oil was for.
Recovering quickly she wastes no time in scolding him, "Hasn't anyone taught you manners?! It should be common sense that you do NOT tell your ex-fiancee about how you will be deflowering your current fiance on your wedding night...or, before you can say anything else, any other night!"
"Deflowering? Guinevere: despite all my mocking, Merlin is NOT a girl. You of all people should know that..."
Completely shocked at Arthur's ignorance, Gwen retaliates, "But its true! Perhaps he may be deflowering you as well..."
Arthur makes his infamous pouting face before he opens his mouth to protest.
"And don't you dare deny that!"
Arthur clamps his mouth shut like a child who has given up arguing with his parents. He only reopens it to state, "Well since you banned me from talking about my future post-marital activities during the night, we may as well talk about yours..."
Gwen heaved a sigh of relief before turning yet an even deeper shade of brown. With a death glare Gwen states rather tensely, "You'd be treading on thin ice if I answered that...considering it took forever for you to convince Lancelot to this whole scam engagement! So consider yourself lucky that you even have me here!"
Huffing with frustration and slight but of anger, before Arthur could even prepare to elaborate further details on how he would ravish Merlin in the day, the sound of clumsy footsteps approaching quickly snapped him back to the present.
Merlin is back.
Gwen seemed to have noticed to because the next thing Arthur knew was that he was laying on his back being snogged to death by the servant whom Merlin assumed he was marrying tonight. They had to keep up this charade for only a few more hours, and Merlin would be his...for eternity...
It seemed to be working right now because Merlin dropped his wood pile and let out angry shout before crying, "Oh, my eyes! I thought I told you to be done with this by the time I get back?"
Three Years Later
"Merlin! Merlin, get up!" Arthur shouted while putting on his white tunic.
When he got no response, he walked over to where Merlin was sleeping on the right side of the bed before vigorously shook his husband's bare shoulder.
Merlin let out a moan of disdain before rolling over onto his side of the bed so there was as much distance between him and Arthur as possible.
"Ugh...'M sleepy: go away..."
Grasping the closest item to him, Arthur flung his rolled up stockings from last night at Merlin's face.
"Oh for crying out loud, did you forget what today is? Get your sodding ass out of bed already!"
Arthur screaming like a banshee seemed to wake Merlin. Who in their right mind could stand sleeping through that?
"Um...I'm pretty sure it's Thursday..."
"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" Arthur asked while he tightened the leather belt over his trousers, "Do our wedding rings really mean nothing to you?"
Merlin blinked in confusion at Arthur before glancing down on the silver band he was wearing on the fourth finger of his right hand. Feigning disgust, Merlin states in a shocked voice, "How the hell did that get there?!"
Merlin could be a great actor sometimes, especially considering his magic secret he has kept hidden since his arrival in Camelot.
But even Merlin knew Arthur has had his practice keeping secrets as well, therefore making him capable at acting as well, "Oh well, if Mer-lin forgot our anniversary, I might have to take Gwen on a picnic instead!"
Merlin is now 110% awake as he accuses with his own pouty face, "Hey! I'm NOT the one who forgot! It's not my fault that I didn't wake up in the middle of our anniversary tradition with my husband's mouth around my cock!"
"Oh is that what this is about?" Arthur inquires as Merlin crosses his arms over his chest, "Well I can fix that..."