Disclaimer - Saver and all of the characters belong to Eun-Young Lee
Note - I purposefully didn't fill in a name, or give any distinguishable characteristics to the owner of these musings, and left it open for people to insert their own preferred partner for Lena. Honestly, I don't think I can choose. Lucien, Michael, that Shine person, Hyun-Min, whoever-the-heck-else, they're all fitting to be with Lena for their own reasons, and I love the whole lot. xP Oh, the complications of a reverse harem filled with many awesome (and gorgeous~) men...
It feels like it's been decades since I first laid eyes on you. You were so distant, so cold, setting yourself apart from others and thus getting set apart by those surrounding you as if you were simply an onlooker in your own day-to-day life, watching as time passed you by and everyone else moved on while you were left behind in a sea of dark, swirling confusion. Unable to move forward, unable to let go of those memories which I know still haunt you to this day.
Many times you had slapped away my outreaching hand of salvation as I tried my hardest to coax you out of your protective shell, which kept you safely inside and others far away, formed after a dismal lifetime of rejections and disappointments, from both external and internal sources.
Worthless. That was a word you used often to refer to not only the idea of friendship, which you saw as being duplicitous, but sometimes it was also a word you attached to yourself. Unneeded, pointless, unloved, worthless. All words, and others besides, I'm sure you heard from your father on the rare occasions when you were in his presence, and from any and all of the shallow, judgmental people who made it a point to tear you down on a daily basis simply because they saw you as inferior. When I told you that they said such hateful things because they were most likely jealous of you, you had shrugged slightly and laughed, mumbling "Perhaps". Your obvious resignation to their behavior toward you only made me confused, since you usually ran head-first into a conflicting situation without a second thought about your own safety. But I'd held my tongue and said nothing.
Now as I lean over you, one hand on either side of your thin shoulders and resting on the smooth wooden floor, I feel myself getting lost in those glittering black eyes that gaze back at me. Those eyes that have the mysterious and unexplainable power to make me completely release the thread of rational thought at a simple glance.
More emotions than I feel I myself may have had in the past I've noticed has flickered across those sharp orbs when you think no one will see. You may attempt to keep others' perspectives of you as a cold, merciless person, but I know. I've seen. Sorrow, pain, despair, hatred, frustration, longing, happiness, love, contentment, amusement, and countless others, both negative and positive.
Slowly, carefully lowering myself down closer to those captivating eyes, I rest myself on my elbows and you smile at me. Immediately, a warmth that has nothing to do with the fire beside us erupts in my chest and spreads throughout my body as your loving gaze penetrates my entire being. I can't help but smile back.
Once, twice, three times we kiss. The sweet taste of your lips lingers on my own, intoxicating me. I focus all my attention on your fingers as they slide through my hair and softly caress me. I gently press my lips to your graceful neck, down to your chest and over the satin-like skin of your stomach.
Countless scars twist in the pale flesh covering your body, reminders of the violent past you were thrown into. A sadness washes over me with each new imperfection I run my hands over. The things you've been through, the terrors you've seen that still cause you nightmares, the memories you can't escape from. I wish I could take them all away from you, bear them myself, release you from all of your despairing thoughts. But, I remind myself, all of the trials and sufferings of your past have shaped you into what you are. The person I love.
I know I can't relieve all of your pain, and I wouldn't dare assume I ever could, but I know that my presence is at least a comfort to you, just as you are to me. It had taken time, effort, persistence, patience, and an unbearable amount of self-control as I slowly chipped away at your defensive walls you had reflexively raised against me, but I see my sacrifices as trivial now that I finally hold you in my arms as I've been yearning for.
You press your hands to my back and look at me with a longing, almost hungry expression. As I lean into you, I watch as your lips part slightly and your grip tightens on my shoulders. Gently and slowly first, but moving against you progressively faster. I claim your lips again, feeling the temperature of your body rise with my own as a thin layer of sweat gives your body a glossy look in the firelight. I run my hands down your sides and rest them on your hips. The deep breaths you'd been taking have shortened to gasps as you close your eyes and move your body rhythmically against me. I can hear you try and fail to stifle a quiet moan of pleasure and it only arouses me further. I let go of my control.
My ability to breathe properly is suddenly lost as multiple waves of ecstasy overtake me and I collapse, spent, on top of your trembling body. Our racing heartbeats seem loud in the sudden silence, and I bury my face in your warm neck as you press yourself against me. A tenderness tugs at the corners of my lips at your assuring touch, almost as rare as your smiles.
Your sleepy sigh brushes against my ear and I wonder what you're thinking about. The past? The present? Perhaps the future? Or nothing at all? A small want rises at the back of my mind that hopes you are simply thinking of me. I've often wondered in the past just how much space I'd occupied in your thoughts, wondering if feelings of love were too frivolous during the difficult times we'd been through, or if you had still reserved a small area for me to reside in.
As for me, it was finding room to think about anything besides you that was a problem. I'd been entranced by you ever since the beginning, and I'll never regret those feelings and the impact they had on my actions.
I slowly feel myself relax. The fire blazing beside us warms my back comfortably, and a sense of satisfaction fills me. At moments like this, I feel as though all of our problems have little importance in comparison to the joy I have at being able to hold you at last. I am not so naive as to think they are gone. No, the troubles will come back to plague us relentlessly, but you are there for me to rely on, just as I am there for you. Perhaps it is the influence your undying courage has had on me, or a desire to be the kind of person you can stand beside, but I know that whatever may try to conquer me, I will be able to face it fearlessly.
I draw my arm around you protectively and kiss you once more before quietly murmuring, "I love you."