title: We Can Have Forever
series: Cowboy Bebop
song: "Who Wants to Live Forever?" - Queen
(also known as MOST. DEPRESSING. SONG. EVER.)
rating: R
author: Faia Saiyajin
--
A/N: Originally written for a flashback concerning Electra and Vincent, on the BebopRPG at (I play Electra.) The idea for the song and flashback was given to me by Kami, who plays Vincent (although he gave me permission to erm.. borrow... Vinnie for this flashback). It turned out well enough that I decided to post it, because you just don't see enough ExV stuff out there. And aside from SxF, this is my favorite Bebop couple. Also... I have my good and bad days playing Electra. Some days I've got her character down, some I don't. So I hope this counts as a good day.
----
It was here somewhere. It had to be. Electra frowned, cursing inwardly as she pushed aside a few pairs of neatly mated socks. It couldn't have sprouted legs and walked away... Digging blindly through her dresser drawers, she mussed the carefully organized clothes out of the way, not caring how badly things were unfolded and wrinkled. When her fingernails scraped against metal and then something softer, she pushed aside the stack of shirts with one hand, using the other to withdraw a folded sheet of paper from where it had lain hidden.
Taking three steps back, she sat on the edge of the bed. Briefly she looked through the open hatch, to where Vincent lay. He hadn't moved, nor had he made a sound, which meant she hadn't woken him with her searching. Steadying her hand -somehow it had started shaking- she reverently unfolded the paper. It was typed neatly, embossed at the top with the official seal of the Martian Army Branch, and signed in an almost illegible hand. It was adressed to Lieutentant-Commander Electra Ovilo. The orders that had come down from HQ, that she, in compliance with Cherious Medical, Inc., seek out and capture the renegade soldier, Vincent Volaju. His list of military inssurections was a laundry list, enough to get him executed if he were ever tried and convicted in Military Court. But Electra knew the real reason they'd sent her. Paperclipped to the orders was a photo, a copy of the exact photo Vincent would have used on his Military-issue identification. They'd chosen her because of her connection to Vincent. They'd been in the same Unit, the same squadron, until Vincent mysteriously vanished.
With a disregard for her usual composure, Electra flopped back on the bed, the photo of Vincent in-hand. It seemed like ages ago - both of them had changed radically since then. Electra smiled wistfully. She remembered it all so clearly...
----
"There's no time for us
There's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams
Yet slips away from us?"
After a brief rundown of the day's events, followed by morning mess, they all filed into a classroom in the main building for their first mission. Sliding into a seat midway down the second row, Electra glanced around. The only available seat in the mess hall hadn't given her a good vantage to check out her new team-mates. Aside from the 4 women she'd already met, there were at least 5 other men wearing the black armband with the Unit insignia on their left bicep, over the regular military-greens. A loud thump in the row beside her caught her attention. In the desk ahead of her, to her right, another young man had sat, rather loudly, his legs sprawled into the aisle, staring ahead at nothing. There was something about him, something detatched, lonely, yet at the same time, something inside him that was full of hatred, anger, and arrogance. He too wore the Unit 7 armband. Electra blinked in surprise. Usually the people assigned to M.A.S.F operations were carefully screened to prevent any people from entering the Unit who would cause friction or dissention within the ranks. But this young man here looked like a wolf on the prowl. He looked up at her, he'd must have felt her staring at him. His eyes were dark, intense, and Electra felt as if he'd stared a hole through her right then. Intimidated, she quickly lowered her head, focusing on the desk. After a few minutes of letting the instructor talk, she risked another look at the stranger. Their eyes met again, but this time, Electra didn't look away. She returned his own look, refusing to be scared off once more. To her surprise, a corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk, showing his mild amusement at her boldness. It was at that moment when Electra's life would become forever intertwined with the soldier known as Vincent Volaju.
"Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever...?"
The months passed, the assignments piling on, making sure that Electra had no spare time to even think about Vincent. She climbed the ranks swiftly, gaining accolades from superiors and the full trust of her team-mates. Spring approached, the promise of warmth and sunshine making the soldiers restless. It took tremendous effort on all parts to keep oneself in line, as it was known throughout the base that the C.O was infamous for cancelling 'shore leave' for even the most minor of infractions. So when the M.A.S.F 7 Team's number finally came up, and their 4-day pass given to them, the 10 men and women nearly exploded out of the front gate, eager for the brief vacation and return to a civlian lifestyle.
As if their good fortune hadn't been approved by whatever forces that be, a generator overload at the main power building shut down all electricity for 24 city blocks, the hotel they'd rented rooms at right in the heart of it. Electra had no sooner put her duffel bag on the bed when the lights flickered and went off. The loud groans from her comrades were audible even through the thick walls. The emergency generators kicked in a second later, restoring power to security systems and lights in the halls - leaving little to light the individual rooms, save for a small light over the bed. With her own groan, Electra turned on her heel, retreating into the hallway. As if everyone else had the same idea, they all left their rooms, looking at each other forlornly. The only one who hadn't made an appearance was Vincent. Jessie, whose room was beside Electra's, was the first to vocalize her displeasure.
"Of all the friggin' luck..." On cue, the 8 others chimed in their own dislike of the situation. Their swears were interrupted by the announcement on the speakers above them, informing them of the power outage. "Great... just great." Jessie turned her attention on Electra. "What now?"
Electra shrugged.
Kieth, across the hall from her, thankfully had a suggestion. "There's a great bar on 150th and Sirius. It should be out of the way of the damage." He grinned. Of the soldiers in his unit, he was the most affable, the type of guy everybody liked to be around. "I say we pile in a taxi and drink ourselves to death while those knuckleheads at the station get the power back on."
The agreement was unanimous. Girls ran back in their rooms to change out of the drab military wear, ready for a hard-earned night on the town. Electra had also changed, and was pulling on her shoes when her door slid open. It was Kieth.
"Ah shit!" Realizing he'd probably caught her at a bad time, he hastily covered his eyes. "Sorry about that! I forgot the damned buzzer doesn't work."
Electra laughed softly. "It's okay. I'm dressed anyway. No harm, no foul." She stood, smoothing the silk material over her hips. Compared to what some of the other women were wearing (they'd all showed off their planned outfits at least a month before their pass came up), this was most definetly modest. It was a simple red skirt, cut at the mid-thigh, paired with a black halter top, the ties matching the color of the skirt. A pair of black heels completed the look, as Electra paused to briefly touch up her hair in the mirror. It was still short, her bangs straying into her eyes for a moment before she brushed them away. With a laugh that was a bit too flippant for her own liking, Electra presented herself. "Well?"
He'd only seen Electra in the military uniform, so this was a definete change for him. He let out a whistle, nodding in appreciation. "You sure as hell do clean up nice, Lieutentant."
She breezed past him, proud of herself for not tripping over her own feet in the heels, swatting him on the arm with her purse. "Knock it off, and call me Electra." When she entered the hallway, the cluster of people ahead of her turned in greeting. Blushing under the sudden flurry of compliments, and hitting Kieth once more for another whistle, Electra couldn't help but grin. But someone was missing. "...Where's Vincent?"
Everyone shrugged, looking at her blankly. "He's not answering when any of us knock." Sonja offered, looking at Vincent's room, four doors down the hall past Electra's room. "Maybe he fell asleep."
"Maybe... Let me go check, just in case. I'll feel bad if we just leave him." She knew, of course, that Vincent wouldn't want to come. He didn't seem like that social of a person. "I'll meet you guys in the lobby."
As everyone else headed for the stairs, Electra crossed the distance between her room and Vincent's briskly. She rapped lightly on the door with her knuckles. "Vincent?"
"There's no chance for us
It's all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment
Set aside for us..."
No reply.
She knocked again, louder. "It's Electra. Are you awake, Vincent?"
There was a hesitation, followed with a "...yeah. ...it's open, Lieutentant." Opening the door, she was startled by the darkness of his room. The only light came from the small red flame of a lit cigarette, and the flickering light cast by a windproof lighter, balanced carefully on the windowsill. Vincent had gotten one of the scenic rooms, the massive windows looking out over a darkened city. She took a few steps into the room, feeling her way towards the bed in the center of it. Vincent was sitting against the far wall, beside the window. "...you want something to drink?" At his feet was the built-in refridgerator, and he sat up enough to open it. He withdrew a miniature bottle of something - booze most likely. "No sense drinkin' it when it's warm." With the meager light coming from his cigarette and the lighter, Electra could see him glance at her. His eyes were already adjusted to the lack of light, so his vision was more acute than hers at the moment. For a brief second, the smirk she'd seen when they'd first met appeared. "Aww. Did you get all dressed up just to see me?" There wasn't even a hint of flirtatiousness in his voice. It was dead monotone.
Electra immediately felt self-concious, and sat on the bed quickly, to avoid drawing any more attention to herself by standing over him. "That's what I wanted to ask you. We're all going out. Do you want to come?"
"If you don't mind, Lieutentant, I will most respectfully decline." He leaned back against the wall. Taking a long drink off of the bottle, he tossed it aside when it was finished.
She looked at him flatly. "I suppose you're more content to sit by yourself and drink in the dark?" She was the only person who could talk to him like that, without recieving his dark hate-filled glare.
He snorted, and put out his cigarette on the windowsill. "...I've been alone my entire life, Lieutentant. No sense in changing that now."
The door behind them opened, Kieth poking his head on. He too was startled by the darkness, but caught himself. "What's the holdup?"
Electra stuttered. She wanted to go out, but for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to leave. "Er... I'll catch up with you guys later. Go on ahead."
"If you say so, Electra..." Shrugging, he closed the door and left.
"What? Is it your turn to play pity-party with poor little Vincent? I don't need your sympathy." Vincent suddenly said, sounding angry. Instead of shrinking in fear like most people would have, Electra stared him dead in the face, her chin lifted.
"Who the hell said anything about sympathy? All I wanted to do was see if you wanted to come out with us." But deep inside, she was pitying Vincent. He seemed so alone and afraid, the resentment at his own fear and loneliness converting into rage. All he knew were those emotions. Had no one ever cared for him? Not even when he was a child? "...what's the matter with you, Vincent?"
"Hn. A lot. You got time for a list?" The biting remark was full of venom. Electra stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest.
"As a matter of fact, I do." Her determined, mulish exterior wilted, leaving only compassion behind. "Why don't you talk to anyone? You never speak outside of a mission, and anyone who tries to be friendly with you is met with nothing but indifference! We... I... I want to be your friend, Vincent. Why won't you let anyone know who you are?"
The lighter flickered, and went out, leaving them in darkness. Electra nearly squeaked in surprise when she felt the bed shift underneath the added weight. Vincent had risen, and sat next to her, not even making a sound. "Because... ...Electra..." he paused, as if testing the name. Electra was stunned as well. This was the first time he'd called her by her name. "...because the only thing I know is cold." She didn't jump or pull away, when his hand fell on hers, as it lay on the mattress between them. "...your hands are... are warm..."
Electra wanted to cry. He sounded so different, so helpless. Like a lost child, an unwanted child. There had to be a way to teach him, to show him that there was more to life than hatred and isolation. It would be a sin not to. No one deserved to go through life so alone. She took both of his hands in her own, holding them tightly. "I'm warm, Vincent. Warm and alive. And I'm here. You're not alone tonight, Vincent." Sitting beside him, she turned her head, feeling her forehead brush softly against his. If she looked hard enough, straining her eyes in the darkness, she could see his eyes, behind the fringe of his black hair.
"...show me. Show me what it's like to not be so alone... so cold."
"Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
...Who dares to love forever,
When love must die?"
It had seemed so long ago, that night in the hotel, when she'd spent the night in his bed. After their pass was up, and they all returned to the base, things continued on as if nothing had ever happened. She and Vincent never had the leisure time like they had those 4 days, but every free moment was spent with him. He wasn't a great romancer, and their wasn't a typical relationship. Electra was determined to find the real Vincent, buried beneath the pain and suffering. Every day that passed, it seemed like more and more of him was thawing. Progress was slow, but eventually, Electra knew that Vincent would one day feel like a normal man, capable of love, and even happiness. It would just take time.
Unfortunately, though, time was one thing the pair didn't have. Out of the blue, Vincent suddenly was transferred to Titan, without warning. Electra could only watch him go, rubbing her wrist, where the scab of a fresh tattoo had recently fallen off It had been a bold move, but the pair of them had decided to get tattoos, the insignia of Unit 7, done in blue ink on their wrists. To her, it had been the first sign of Vincent's regained humanity. He'd said something -amost bashfully!- about having something to remind them of what had brought them together in the first place.
As much as she tried to, information about Vincent's new assignment was strictly confidential, and she could get no word of why he had been sent off so quickly. Months passed, then a year, and still there was no word from Vincent. The war on Titan had drawn to a close, so perhaps he was stationed there to aid in the cleanup. She'd had a gnawing doubt forming in the back of her mind, and it grew larger with each passing day. Maybe he'd been killed. Maybe he deserted. Trying to keep these thoughts from spinning out of control, the news of Unit 7 being dissolved, its members discharged, was enough to knock her back into reality.
Like her team-mates, Electra spent her last day as an offical member of Mars Army Special Forces Unit 7 packing her things, and saying her goodbyes. On her way out, though, she was summoned to the C.O's office. Twenty minutes later, she stood in the hallway again, holding her orders, stunned. Vincent was missing, and she was to find him? And for this mission, she'd be on the payroll of Cherious Medical, until the time of Vincent's capture or death.
"Vincent... Vincent... what happened to you?"
After being accepted as a member of Cherious, Electra later found out the whole story, the truth behind Vincent's dissapearance. The government was working with Cherious to create nanomachine weapons, a deadly and undetectable form of bio-terrorisim. Even if it was forbidden by the Amsterdam Treaty, the Martian government was creating bio-terrorisim weapons. ...and they'd tested them on Vincent.
It took her several more years to get a lead on Vincent. He'd practically become a ghost since the base on Titan had listed him as AWoL. In that time, she'd been promoted to Colonel, her rank providing her with access to even more of Cherious' dark secrets. But still, she didn't know how Vincent had survived. Every other member sent to Titan to test the nanomachines was dead. How had he survived? She wouldn't find the answer until finally, Cherious' plots were discovered by the ISSP, and the whole plan was revealed. Yet even before that happened, she'd see Vincent one last time.
While she was sent to track down Vincent, she was also given orders to hunt down and capture another man, the creator of the nanomachine virus, a Doctor Mendelo Al'Hedia. According to her network of information, he'd been spotted in the vicinity of Moroccan town, one of the ethnic burrows of Mars. Her own dark complexion allowed her to blend in easily with the locals, all of them decendants of the Middle-Eastern people who had left Earth after the Gate accident.
Like he had that night in his hotel room, Vincent crept up on her without a sound. She was investigating one of the seedier areas of Moroccan town, when she felt a hand clamp down over her mouth, someone pulling her into the darkness of an alley. When she was finally set free, she whirled on her attacker, prepared to defend her life. He was tall, with wild hair, and eyes like someone who had seen the end of the world, and survived it. There was a flash of recognition in those eyes, a familiar smirk.
It was Vincent.
Without thought, without restraint, that she threw her arms around his neck. He responded, barely, his arms winding around her, as if he were embracing a stranger. She was a flurry of questions and concerns, all of them stopped dead, when she saw the emptiness in his eyes.
All of the time she had spent, the precious moments taken when they were in Unit 7, they were all gone. Any of the humanity Vincent had recovered was gone. It was buried even deeper. He was no longer just a man cold and alone, now he was something even worse. He was a ghost. She touched his face, trying to find that spark, striving to bring the Vincent she'd come to know to the surface. "Please, Vincent. Don't do this. ...what happened to you? I was so worried... I..." She lowered her head, the realization of it all hitting her hard. He had somehow forgotten everything. Whatever Al'Hedia's nanomachines had done to him, it had erased his memory, wrapped him in a cloak of never-ending dreams. He may as well have died with those other men on that desert planet. Her head drooped, her forehead resting on his chest, as she fought to control herself.
Warmth on her cheek, her head being lifted. Vincent had put his hand beneath her chin, and was making her look him in the eyes. It took a tremendous effort on his part, she could see that, but somehow, Vincent shook off his fantasy world, and for an instant, saw the woman he knew.
"Electra..."
"But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today"
It was that dark night again, a return to the past, as she once again tried to help Vincent regain his lost warmth. She'd hoped that his memory would return, that she'd be able to tell him that the Mars Army and Cherious were after him, because he was the sole survivor of an illegal creation of chemical warfare. When morning came, though, Vincent was gone. As if he'd never really existed at all. Somehow, Electra managed to dress herself, and return to base. Her report was inconclusive. Neither Mendelo nor Vincent had been seen in Moroccan town, but the rumors were too great to ignore. The head officals granted her request, and Electra was allowed to persue the remaining leads she had within the burrow.
The determination that she'd had since she'd met him kept Electra on the trail. She couldn't just let him live like that. And she couldn't let Cherious take him into custody. If they did, and he somehow told them of their meeting, she would be court-martialed, then excecuted, or have her memories wiped out. And in death or amnesia, she would loose Vincent. She'd found him once, and then again. Both times he'd slipped through her fingers, taken from her. She wouldn't allow it to happen again.
"...I'll find you Vincent. I'll find you, and keep you safe."
"Who waits forever anyway...?"