Before I start I would just like to say that I wrote this story in my head while eating a sandwich just to make my friend Simone lol. So I quite hope it will make you lol too.
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This is a story about one ugly mother fucking, alligator headed, guy who wears a suit. It is epic. CAUTION MAY CONTAIN BABY EATING.
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Once upon a time there was a young ugly mother fucking alligator headed kid. Everyone at his school hated him. They made fun of his crooked teeth and lopsided head. As he grew up he only ever wanted one thing, to be popular and sexy. He decided the best way to become president. Now he knew the best way to become president was to put up signs and shit, problem was he had no money. So he did the same thing any other alligator headed suit wearing guy would do, he robbed a bank. Now the public didn't quite like this. They thought it was bad. As a way to apologize he threw a party and invited everyone. The invitations said "Come To My Party There Is Free Cake And Food." Tons of people came. He was very excited. Unluckily he didn't buy any cake so the crowd got slightly mad and started to chant "THE CAKE IS A LIE!". Luckily for all those people, Alligator head already had a plan just incase something like this happened. Suddenly he began to disco dance, cause everyone knows alligators are the best disco dancers ever. Well everyone loved his dancing. They thought it was made of win. All except for one guy. He became angry because he was jealous of Alligator heads 1337 skillz. He started to scream rude things and profanities. Alligator head became angry. "Oh Your just a big fake, you ugly alligator headed fag!" Alligator head was anything but a fag. It made him seriously pissed to be called that. Finally he snapped. He jumped over three tables and ate the man with out even chewing. Alligator became even angrier because the man tasted like shit. He was so mad that he couldn't think of anything better to do then drink till he puked. When he was as drunk as a dog he came up with a great plan. He didn't want to be president if everyone was going to be ass holes. So instead he would return to his swampy home, but before he went he would rob another bank, buy some hookers, and buy a house. He did just this. He bought like 15 hookers and a big house off in his old swamp. When he went to the swamp all the other alligators just laid there like fat asses. They didn't walk on two feet, they didn't dance, and they didn't wear suits. This confused alligator head quite a lot. He had always worn a suit, you see. And he asked them "Where are your suits?" They replied we laughter "Stupid, alligators aren't supposed to wear suits!" Alligator head was appalled. He growled and yelled "Well Now I'm The Boos And You all Have To Wear suits!" They laughed once more and he decided that It was useless. He returned home to his hookers. He made a choice then, a choice that would influence everyone. He decided that he would make many alligator headed babies and take over the world! He went off with his hookers and had 300 BABIES. He was quite happy with his success but there was one problem, they were all retarded alligator headed babies. They couldn't even feed themselves. They were mindless creatures. Alligator head realized that if he didn't do something all his alligator headed babies would die of starvation, so like any good alligator headed parent would do, he robbed a bank. He used all the money to buy food for his 300 ALLIGATOR HEADED BABIES. After a few years his alligator headed babies became alligator headed teenagers. He was quite happy with himself. He was a perfect alligator headed, suit wearing father. One day as he was walking along in a park he met a large squirrel. The squirrel said to him "Give me all your nuts!" Alligator head laughed and said "I'm quite sorry but I need these nuts to make 300 MORE BABIES!" the squirrel became angry and tried to steal away the alligators nuts. Alligator head ate the squirrel without even thinking about it. He continued to walk through the park until he met a large duck. The duck said "Here! Take this magic potion! It will make you sexy and then you will be able to have 300 BABIES with any woman!" Alligator head scooped up the potion and drank it right away. Within second there were women surrounding him shouting that they wanted to have his 300 BABIES. A few years later more then half the world was over taken by alligator headed babies and teenagers and adults. They all wore suits and they were all quite retarded. After a few years alligator heads 3000000 BABIES helped him to take over the world. Slowly he dominated and became Ruler Of The World.
