I know I should be writing the next chapter of Ties that bind and I will but this popped into my head so I thought I'd get it down!
The woman stares through the glass at the man she has fallen in love with, as he walks across the car park, far down below. The have said their goodbyes, and as much as she loved him her head has overruled her heart again. She hopes, she doesn't know, that it is for the best because at the moment it feels as if the very heart of her is being ripped to shreds. She doesn't notice as the first tear begins to fall. She doesn't wipe it away when she finally notices because her heart is on her sleeve anyway after what was said between them. Her entire being pleaded with the last part of her not overrun by love to give in to him, to tell him how she really felt, how scared and daunted she was by the prospect, and she tried to make him stay. She knew that he wouldn't and she respected and understood why he was leaving her, but it didn't make the hurt go away. As much as she tries to make herself believe that she didn't care, she knows that she does and always will.
The tears are cascading down her cheeks now and she makes no effort to wipe them away. She wants the whole world to see how much she is hurting, how much this situation is hurting her. She wants to run out in to the car park and beg him to stay or to climb in there with him, but instead she is frozen to the spot, staring down at him, gathering all the details before him gets in and he goes, our of the car park and out of her life, but never out of her heart, he never really left the last time.
The last time he left her she did not feel as she did now, it did not feel as if her whole word was slowing to a halt and ending, she could see no wrong in her actions, but now if she even glanced back she could see with stark clarity why what she had done was wrong and how it had hurt him, she guessed she always could but it was easier pretending not to because then it didn't hurt as much. All she wanted to do was to turn the clocks back at erase that particular night and to cave in to her emotions, to admit to herself that she loved him, an act that in fact took several more years, it took even longer to admit the fact to him, but when she did it had felt like a weight had be removed from her shoulders.
It fractures her heart even more to admit that they both love each other but they are going to spend the rest of their lives apart. She is going to have to live without him, his love, his comfort, his words. She has spent the last few years trying and failing to forget him and she now knows she never will, or could. She has fallen in love with him, fallen hard and she is never going to fall out of love with him, besides she has tried to fall out of love with him before. She knows she will try again to move on and forget him and she will fail again because the truth is she is always going to love him.
She hoped that he didn't hurt as much as her because it hurt so much she could never wish it on another human being. She knows that after their sad, final goodbye that it is almost certain that he will hurt as much as her but she hopes that his son will take some of the pain away, and keep the painful memories at bay. She told him that she loves him in those last few seconds and she had meant it. She loves him so much and she had finally let him in, with no gain on her part except that she would be happy.
He climbs in to his car and she is partially blinded with tears as he pulls out of the car park, and then he is gone. She is holding on to the railing so hard her knuckles are going white. She hears footsteps on the stairs above her and then Elliot speaks. She doesn't really take in what he was saying. "Right, I'll be right there." She replies and she is amazed by the strength in her voice. Elliot swings open the door and leaves her in peace. She is glad he hadn't pried any further.
She releases the railing and walks away, away from the window, away from the memories and walks through the double door, tears still making tracks down her cheeks and she walks back to work, without him, and into a life without him, knowing that she would never forget the love of her life.
It probably obvious who it's about, but feel free to guess!