No More Sorrow

authors note:
Drabble fic I decided to write and post. Wrote in the midst of writing a TykixAllen fic, haha! I hope you guys enjoy :

(P.S. Seether c.d.'s are depressing. xx And the title comes from Linkin Park, strangely enough..)

It was strange, the light that seemed to be shining down upon him. It was warm yet cold in a way and entirely too bright for him. Yet he was still drawn to it, like a moth. If he had wings, he could get their faster.

Wings. What a strange thought. Humans couldn't have wings, that's why they were humans. Only angels could. But were there such things as angels? Was there really a heaven? Is that where the light was coming from?

He couldn't tell any more. He didn't know what to believe in.

A voice, fuzzy, fading, breaks his thoughts.

"Don't you fucking die." his eyes flutter open from a brief second and he can see them, his friends, surrounding him. Their faces were blurry and they continued to swim in and out of the whiteness that threatened to consume his mind.

He felt his lips quivered then quirked into a smile. His face ached, terribly, as if something had smashed it over and over with something heavy. Something hard. It felt as if it were broken but if it were, he wouldn't have been able to smile. Would he?

Something wet landed on his face and his eyes fluttered shut again, lashes licking at his sore cheeks. Even that movement alone caused pain. His body felt as if it were on fire, he was sweating. Pouring. It was too hot, too hot. He writhed then cried out. He had forgotten that his body had been aching. Forgotten what had been done to him.

He tried to sit still, to concentrate on anything but the light. He tried to think of anything but the light. But it was so gorgeous.

So amazingly beautiful.

He wanted the light to be his and his alone. He wanted to go where the light was going to take him. Wherever that may have been.

But he wanted to stay with his friends, too.

He could hear them. Someone - Lenalee?- was sobbing. It sounded as if she were trying to choke them back, as if she were trying to hide her pain from him. He wanted to frown, to tell her not to cry, to tell her that everything was going to be okay. That he was going to be fine. That she shouldn't cry over him because he was going to be okay.

But he couldn't find his voice, he couldn't even flash her that smile that she loved so much. He couldn't even open his eyes. His lids felt incredibly heavy, as if the entire weight of the world were on them, and he could not open them.

This agitated him. He wanted to open them, to gaze up at his friends. They twitched, they fluttered, but he could not open them.

"Allen," a different voice now. Not like the rough one that had spoken to him earlier. It was soft and warm and it filled him with happy thoughts. Lavi. Lavi was speaking to him. His lips twitched again with an attempt to smile as he recalled all the great times he had with the red-head, even if he did seem annoyed by him. Lavi was one of his best friends. Lavi made him laugh.

"Allen, don't leave. Open your eyes." it was a gentle command. "Stay with us, Allen."

He wished he could tell them that he couldn't open his eyes, he wished that he could tell them many things. Like how much he loved them, how he was sorry that he had failed them. He wanted to talk about all the good times they had shared. He tried. His jaw would not move and whenever he tried to unhinge his tongue from the roof of his mouth, it sent a jarring pain up his cheek and to his head.

He made a small noise of pain.

What was wrong with him? He was stronger than this. Better than this. He would be able to overcome this, he could. He would. He had overcame death, the loss of his Innocence. He would make it. He believed in himself.

But his body was so heavy. And he was so tired. And the shining light was looking better and better every time he would glimpse it. He just wanted to sleep, to go to bed. Maybe if he woke up the next morning, he would feel better, and everything would be fine. That sounded like a good idea..

"A-Allen…" Lenalee's voice this time. It sounded strained and shaky. He felt his heart ache. He hated whenever she would be upset because of him, it always made him feel horrible.

Stupid, stupid, he spat at himself. Wake up. Tell her. Tell her everything!

But he couldn't. He could barely even stir without the horrible aching pain that would spread throughout his entire body. Why was he hurting so much? What had he done wrong?

"Allen, please.. Please open your eyes. Stay with us…" something wet landed on his face again. It was soothing, cooling, and it continued. Was she crying?

She was crying. She was crying because of him.

Don't cry. Lenalee. Please don't cry.

He could not leave. Not now. Not like this. He couldn't leave everyone behind. He had a job to do. He had to find all the Innocence, to protect those from the Earl. He had to revenge himself and all those that had lost their lives..

He just needed sleep. Yeah. Sleep. He would be fine. He would just sleep. Why were they wanting him to open his eyes when he clearly needed rest?

He tried to relax, his body feeling even more heavy than before, but couldn't.

He wanted to shed himself of his body. It felt as if it were an extra weight. He wanted to get away from it, to go with the light. He struggled to follow the light, but his body was tying him down, keeping him in eternal pain.

Stupid thing.

Perhaps the light would take him to see Mana. That would have been nice. The thought of seeing Mana again made his heart swell with joy. And then he and Mana would be together forever. Mana would be free of the Earl's grasp. And so would Allen. And together, they would be happy.

He felt tears well in his eyes at the thought. If he left, Lenalee wouldn't cry over him any more and Kanda wouldn't be annoyed with him any more, either. Lavi could go back to being a bookman. Everything would be okay if he left.

They would be alright with out him. They would be okay.

"Allen.." Lenalee whispered. "Oh, Allen…" she sobbed, audibly, and he felt the guilt rise inside of him.

But, you'll stop crying if I go. You'll be alright. All of you guys will. Everything is going to be okay. I promise. I'll protect you, always.

The light was beckoning to him, urging him forward, and it even took a form. It took his hand and led him away from his heavy body, away from all the pain. It led him into something even whiter, even brighter. He blind, disorientated. But he was free from his restraining body. Free from the pain. He could no longer hear his friends, hear their pain.

He was free.