Just a little something I wrote in a ten-second burst of inspiration. (The writing took more than ten seconds. The inspiration - the first line - didn't.)
Tell me the pairing in a review, if you can figure it out. (It's not hard - look at my other stuff.) I promise no prize. I just wanted to try to challenge someone.
Yes, I own Naruto. That's why this is being published on FanFiction. The URL should be its own disclaimer, but whatever...
She is seventeen the first time she is forced to kill. She sees the blood on her hands, feels the horror of what she has had to do, and gets sick in nearby bushes.
She goes straight to his apartment the moment she is free from the post-mission debriefing. He has always known how to help her, how to get her over whatever it is that's going on.
"I had to kill someone," she says the moment the door opens. The words come out level and she is dry-eyed, but he knows her well and he can tell that she is about to crack.
"Come in." He opens the door wider and she steps through. She sighs a little at the solid familiarity of the place, and of him, comforted by the knowledge that he'll always be here.
She is sitting on the sofa when he turns to face her. "It gets easier the more you do it. Eventually the pain goes away and you don't feel it anymore," he says. He's lying, because he knows the pain will never go away, and each life he has had to end has always been just as hard as the first.
"I don't want it to get easier," she whispers. "I don't want to have to do it."
He has no real way to respond to that and remains silent.
"I've spent so much of my life, my career, learning to heal, and I've been able to avoid the other end of the spectrum for so long... " Her voice trails away, beginning to waver, her eyes to glass over.
"Why were you the one killing?" he asks, something occurring to him. "You're support, the medic. Where was your team?"
"They were scouting the area," she says, the fine tremor continuing. "I was alone at camp, making dinner, and some crazy man came bursting in... he demanded food, but when I turned to get him some, he... pulled... a kunai... and he attacked me." Her voice is trembling a little more, barely above a whisper. "I tried everything I could think of, but he was not... not normal." Her eyes are shining more.
"Not normal?" he queries.
"He was babbling... but he knew us... he said something, as he was... dying," she says. "He looked straight at me. He said my name, and he told me he hated me." She pauses. "That I made him sick."
She finally snaps and the tears flow and her voice's unsteadiness turns to outright sobs, relieving her eyes of their shine. He gathers her up into his arms. He doesn't murmur into her ear as an ordinary friend would. Instead, he just lets her cry into his green vest until she starts to hiccup.
When her breathing is semi-normal again, he takes her face into her hands and kisses her forehead lightly, and he tells her, "Hatred of you was his loss. You couldn't have made him sick because you ended his pain for him. He was trying to thank you."
"I still took a life," she reminds him.
"That you did," he agrees. "The pain will stay, but that's how you know you're human. Cling to that when everything else collapses. Pain keeps you human. Pain and guilt."
"How human are you?" she asks, knowing she is prodding an open wound.
"Very," he responds, both gruff and soft. "For more reasons than you know."
"It's not just because of your old team anymore?"
"No." He gives her a very pointed look.
She ignores this look. "What is it, then?"
He decides the time has come for her to know. She deserves the truth, and she asked him. "You."
"Me?" She feigns shock and confusion. "I've hurt you? When? And how have I made you guilty?"
"I hurt because I can't have you. I'm guilty because I want you."
"Stop hurting," she suggests. The pain of killing has faded a little, but he always has that effect on her - he gives her sanity in a world of insanity, grounds her when she feels like she'll float away from everything. "Stop being guilty."
"And how do I do that?" He is genuinely confused.
"Take what you want. I'm right here."
"Don't toy with me." He is scared.
"I'm not," she reassures.
Anger begins to override the fear. "Why? Why now?" he demands.
She smiles faintly. He deserves the truth, too. "Because I love you. Because you give me hope. Because when I see you, the pain fades. Because you're the first person I run to after everything falls to pieces." Her smile widens a little. "And because... pain and guilt may keep you human, but love and hope keep you alive."