Upon finding out her daughter is a vampire slayer; Joyce comes up with a wacky notion to bring the Scooby Gang, including Spike and Angel, to church with her in the morning. Note: this is NOT really a religious story

A Lie's Worth

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: All BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon.

This story does not follow an exact timeline. For instance, Spike still made the deal with Buffy in Becoming but Angel did not open the vortex before having his soul reinstated. So, Spike is starting to get along with the Scoobies better.

Getting the Truth Out

Downstairs in the living room everyone was quiet, which was strange for the gang on a Saturday night. They were waiting; something was coming. Something bad. Something far worse than any hellion they'd ever faced before—a mother of a vampire slayer.

Upstairs, Joyce had just discovered that vampires were real and her daughter was indeed a vampire slayer. Nonetheless, a seventeen year-old vampire slayer that had just had sex with her undead boyfriend. When Buffy had told her mother two years ago about vampires and her former watcher Merrick, Joyce had been startled and had Buffy sent off to an insane asylum. So, naturally, bringing the subject of the supernatural with her mother had never been on the top of Buffy's 'To Do' list within the recent years.

Questions that had run through Joyce's head before were popping back up. Is this my fault? Is it because of the divorce? Maybe she was still hanging around some 'bad kids' at school. She never really seemed that crazy, just a little imaginative sometimes when she was younger.

Although upon hearing this story from her again, Joyce simply didn't know what to do. However, after seeing Buffy dust a vampire right in front of their house, Joyce started to realize the truth in her daughter's words... And she was furious, petrified, but furious. Of course that could also have something to do with the fact that there were currently two vampires sitting downstairs in her living room accompanied by Buffy's friends and the Sunnydale High School's librarian.

Answering her unspoken questions, Buffy comforted her mother.

"There is nothing you could have done to keep this from happening. It's my destiny; something I can do better than anyone else. Just, please, try to understand!"

"Look Buffy, you slept with a man you never even felt fit to tell me you were dating. Plus, he's a vampire! Then he lost his soul and tried to kill you! He's also the man who actually killed that nice computer teacher Miss Calendar wasn't he? That's why they never figured out who murdered her? And now Willow was able to reinstate his soul and you're suddenly back together with him? I'm sorry, but is this correct?"

"Well yeah Mom, but I love him, and I know he loves me too. The clause to the curse… the reason he lost his soul when he was… with me, it was perfect happiness. I was able to give him that." Buffy spoke with her head down, afraid of her mother's reaction to this.

"Were you careful?" Buffy's head shot up at the change in subject.

"What? When I fought Angelus? Yeah. Of course. I always have my weapons with me. A good slayer is a prepared slayer… oh god, I've been hanging around Giles too much." Buffy looked questionably at Joyce.

"That's not what I meant." Joyce scorned looking down at her daughter.

"Oh," Buffy gave a small laugh, followed by a look of great sadness, "vampires can't have children… or diseases or anything else like that."

"Oh thank God!" Joyce was relieved as she sat down on the bed next to Buffy, causing her to jump up.

"What? How is that good? The love of my life can't ever have children and you think it's a good thing?"

Realizing that this was really a serious issue for her daughter, Joyce had the dignity to look sorry as she realized Buffy was right.

"Look, I'm sorry Buffy, but you can't be sure you will be with him forever. Time changes things."

"Looking up at her mother with so much confusion and seriousness drowning her eyes, Buffy whispered, "Mom, I know I haven't been the daughter you would have liked, but that's not all my fault. It's who I am. Life's been hard on me. I don't get to plan out a huge future for myself because I already know it. God, my life can be so unstable sometimes! Honestly mom, apocalypses just keep popping up! But if there's one thing in life that I can be sure of, it's Angel." To conclude, Buffy sat back down and looked straight into her mothers eyes.

"Oh honey, I'm so happy you found someone you love so much. I can't believe you're so mature; but I want you to know that you can always be sure of me too. It may take me a while to understand your life, but I will always be there for you no matter what." With that Buffy and Joyce embraced, just happy to be on good terms.

"Thanks Mom."

"But there's one more thing." Joyce added with a sly smile.

Obviously knowing that she wouldn't get off the hook that easily for lying to her mother, Buffy looked up to Joyce and asked, dreading the answer, "What?"

"Well honey, I know this may seem like a lot of stuff for you tonight, but nonetheless, I also want to make sure that you can be absolutely sure of the Lord. He will always be there for you too." Buffy looked up at her mother skeptically and was about to interrupt but Joyce continued before Buffy could even open her mouth to get the words out.

"So, tomorrow morning, we'll gather up you're friends, and Mr. Giles of course, and be on our way to church!" Joyce ended with a big smile on her face as if she were some sort of evil mastermind, until she realized she forgot the difficulties of her plan due to Angel and Spike.

"Oh and we'll just have to go to the really early service so Angel and Spike can get there before the sunrises and they'll just have to find their own way home. Do they use the sewer system like in the movies?"

"Yeah, but vampires don't really like Church, I think the crosses scare them. Plus, you can't force four teenagers (who are not your own children), one old librarian, and two vampires (mind you, one is soulless) to go to church! You just can't!" Buffy had come to yelling, completely rejecting her mother's insane idea.

"I know I can't sweetie. But, I can force you to come and I can also force you to force them to come. So basically, it all works out for the best," and once again Joyce showed her big, evil smile.

"Well, Willow's Jewish! And Spike's a soulless vampire! He could just kill everyone!" Buffy looked hopefully at her mother, as if she had just beat her at this argument.

"I guess you'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen then. And as for Willow, well it won't kill her to go to one church service, you went to her Bat Mitzvah."

"Life sucks." Dismally, Buffy walked downstairs to tell everyone they were all being punished for their ongoing lies to Mrs. Summers. Once the news that they were all going to church tomorrow was announced, Spike yelled in protest while Angel started brooding in the corner. Giles just continued staring at Buffy in fear as Willow protested since she is Jewish, and Xander, Oz, Faith, and even Cordelia just groaned and complained.

Suddenly, to officiate all of their dread, Joyce came downstairs, devious smile in place, and said, "Alright everyone, now we have to get up early tomorrow. So you're all welcome to stay here as long as you go to sleep quickly. I can get some blankets." The five teenagers all agreed to stay, leaving Spike, Angel, and Giles offers unanswered.

Realizing that it'd be easier just to stay for the night Giles agreed, looking pointedly at Spike and Angel who just shrugged and agreed.