Haruhi peeked into the clubroom and instead of being met with flowers and charm she was greeted with total chaos. Her face twitched as she stared at what used to be the host club's classy domain. There was cake and rocking chair pieces thrown every where (courtesy of honey-senpai), the twins were naked and picking on Tamaki in the corner, Kyouya was scribbling on the walls, black book forgotten on the floor. Renge was of no help, laughing maniacally upon her hydraulic stage in Mary Poppins cosplay. For some reason all the members of the host club had turned into toddlers. No one had seen her yet so she still had the chance to sneak away. Haruhi slowly closed the door when someone tapped her shoulder. She jumped and yelped holding her chest. She turned to face a regular guest.
" Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you I was just wondering if you were hosting today you seemed to be walking away from the club room so I just had to ask." Haruhi sighed internally as she plastered a soft smile on her face, she didn't want to disappoint the guest.
"Of course I wouldn't want to disappoint any of my clients. They took time out of their day just for me it would be disrespectful to just disappear. Anyway I love talking to all of the lovely ladies they're all so sweet and thoughtful." The girl blushed and sighed dreamily.
"That's so sweet Haruhi-kun. I usually book with Tamaki-senpai but I'm considering switching to you as my regular host. My friends tell me you're so charming." (Tamaki dies somewhere in the back of his mind).
" I would be honored but I wouldn't want to steal the prince's loving clients away." The girl stared at her with starry-eyes.
" Oh Haruhi-kun you're so considerate of people's feeling I see why you're so popular. I have to go now but I hope to see you again soon." The girl turned and walked away, Haruhi watched and waited for her to turn the corner. She sighed and reentered host club headquarters, slumping against the door.
"Why do I even deal with these maniacs?" (cue flashback of vase breaking scene)"Oh right." She looked up to observe the damage. Nothing much had changed from earlier except that mori-senpai was cuddling a now sleeping Honey-senpai causing the twins and Tamaki to quiet down in fear of waking the adorable demon, Renge gushing in the background. A gust of wind blew through the room and a piece of paper smacked into Haruhi's face.
"What the…" She trailed off as she read the paper. It was in Kyoya's handwriting.
'I'm sorry to inform you that we got into a bit of a mishap. My family's company sent us a youth inducing supplement. The twins downed them first without reading the warnings. Rather than going without the brotherly love package again we decided to use this to our advantage. Your outfit is in the dressing room because we obviously have to have someone to supervise.' The page trailed off in a mess of scribbles.
Haruhi grumbled and stalked of to the dressing room and snatched what she assumed was the outfit off the hanger. She hastily threw on the costume, lucky that it seemed to only have one piece, and looked at the mirror. She stared in confusion at the fluffy pink onesie and wondered what it had to do with the theme. At this point there was no time to ponder it as she still had to fix up the club room before club activities started. She hid the broken rocking chairs and replaced them, cleaned up the cake and set out animal crackers instead (the iced ones of course), then scooped the twins up in a sheet and redressed their tiny three year old bodies in doll clothing. At that point Honey had woken up and Tamaki had stopped sulking and Kyouya had gone back to scribbling in his book. Haruhi quickly wiped up the pencil scribbles just in time to gather everyone together to greet the guest. Last minute she realized she would have to greet the guest, before she could steel herself the club room door was gracefully swinging open to show the first guest. Haruhi threw on an awkward smile and silently prayed to her mother hoping to make it through this mess.
"Welcome to the Ouran host club daycare?"
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Everything was going surprisingly well. The guest were fascinated by the 'decorative commoner crackers' Honey-senpai was distracted picking out all the 'tiny Usa-chans' and showing them off to the girls then feeding them to Mori-senpai, the twins had reverted a little back to their self-absorbed selves but their love for each other was nothing if not stronger which is what the guests really wanted to see. Kyouya who typically wasn't seen with clients had a crowd of guests surrounding him watching him draw and Tamaki, fawning over them like the hopeless romantic he is, gained the attention of other guests to show of 'mommy's' handiwork. Most of the guest were occupied by the other hosts so when someone tapped on her shoulder she yelped with a hand to her chest for the second time that day.
"I'm sorry Haruhi-kun I really hope this doesn't become a habit." Haruhi turned to face the same girl from earlier she scratched her head and laughed bashfully.
"It's alright. I don't know why I'm so jumpy today. Did you need something?"
"Oh well I don't think your costume is on properly. I think it has a hood, or at least there's a piece hanging between your shoulders." Haruhi looked over her shoulder and sure enough there was a strange hood type piece of cloth hanging down her back. A feeling of dread settled upon Haruhi as realization flooded her brain. It was the bunny costume they tried to force upon her when they messed up Honey-senpai's reluctantly pulled the hood over her head and listened as the clubroom fell into silence. Honey-senpai who was typically attached to Mori-senpai's hip hesitantly walked over to Haruhi and stared at her in silence for a few seconds before clinging to her leg and yelling 'Big Usa-chan'.
"Haruhi-kun did you dress up just for Honey-senpai?" Haruhi blinked and tried to come up with something but it really did explain the getup since Honey-senpai was so childlike and he loved his Usa-chan.
"Uh...yea I think it's very sweet that he's still so imaginative. Even though many people view him childish it's good not to be caught up in serious things sometimes." All the guests looked at her with a slight blush. The guests began to crowd around her and shower her with compliments.
"Haruhi-kun you're so thoughtful."
"It's nice that Honey-senpai has you as a friend."
"You're very open-minded Haruhi-kun."
Haruhi blushed and bashfully ran a hand through her hair.
"It's nothing really."
When all the commotion died down the guests went back to their respective hosts; Honey-senpai dragged Haruhi over to Mori-senpai, inviting her to join their tea party. Although she was barred from eating 'the tiny Usa-chans' because that canybabism (cannibalism). Club activities went on as normally as they could the rest of the time. The guests even convinced the twins to play a game of 'Which one is Hikaru?'.
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Haruhi breathed out a sigh of relief as the last guests exited the clubroom. She tensed up again at the sound of something tearing. Ready to yell she whipped around only to see the normal aged twins almost naked with torn pieces of cloth on the ground. A deep blush crept over Haruhi's face and she quickly put a hand over her eyes.
"Hey look at that."
"We're normal size again."
"I wonder if everyone else changed back." The twins surveyed the room and focused on a bright red Haruhi standing by the door.
"Hey Haruhi…"
"What's up with your face?"
"It's all red." They poked at her face and she snapped.
"Can you guys put some clothes on instead of standing around like nothing is wrong here!" The twins looked down survey their naked bodies and traded mischievous glances.
"What's wrong Haruhi?"
"Have you never seen a man's body before?"
"Stay away from my daughter you filthy perverts!" Tamaki flung himself at the twins, they sidestepped him and he face quickly edged away while they were all distracted.
"Geez boss we were just playing around. We'd never come onto Haruhi like that."
"Anyway who's the real perv? Our most important parts are covered, you're completely bare."Tamaki flushed red and grabbed an unused tablecloth to cover himself.
"Either way you all need to cover yourselves, Unless you've forgotten about the hidden cameras set up around the clubroom." Kyouya pushed up his glasses somehow already fully dressed and casual as if nothing had changed. At the reminder the twins and Tamaki rushed to the changing room.
"Thank you Kyouya-senpai." Kyouya glanced over at Haruhi and pushed his glasses up.
"I just don't want to get the club disbanded for indecent conduct." Haruhi wondered why Kyouya tried to cover up his kindness.
" Hey Haru-chan why are you still dressed up like Usa-chan?"Haruhi looked down at her outfit and deadpanned, wondering when she'd become comfortable wearing it.
"I probably should change out of it." Haruhi made her way to the changing room silently praying that the twins and Tamaki were fully clothed. Before she got a chance to enter the room tamaki bounded out of the room holding a Nanny costume.
"Haruhi! This is the costume you were really supposed to wear can you dress up just for daddy? You know daddy loves it when Haruhi dresses like the girl she's supposed to be." The twins stepped out and pushed him away.
"You're being really pervy today boss, first showing off your naked body..."
"Then telling Haruhi to dress up for you."
"You should be ashamed."The twins grabbed Haruhi by each arm and walked her into the dressing room sticking their tongues out at Tamaki. Tamaki reached out his arm towards Haruhi.
"You don't think daddy is a pervert do you Haruhi?" Haruhi looked over her shoulder and deadpanned.
"No, but it's weird that you refer to yourself in the third person as daddy." Tamaki held a hand to his chest offended then ran of to ask 'mommy' if he was weird. The twins snickered at her sides throwing more insults at the president while Mori and Honi had cake with usa-chan and Renge. Haruhi smiled and started to laugh. She was glad to be stuck with these weirdos.