A/N: This is just a short fic that I thought up while watching NCIS. Enjoy and please review! This is NOT a Zibbs fanfiction. It is a Ziva and Gibbs hurt and comfort fanfic. I mean, he's old enough to be her dad, guys. Come on! ( No offense to people who ship Zibbs, I just don't agree with it.)
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. Wish I did, but I don't.
Forever or Never
" I'm sorry, Tony." Ziva shivered slightly as the chilly air of Autopsy wrapped around her bare shoulders. She rubbed her hand up and down her arms, but the action did nothing to ward off the chill. " I'm so, so sorry. This is all my fault. I should have been there, I should have done something…I should have known. I am the bomb expert on the team, am I not? Why didn't I recognize the signs? Why didn't I do something?" Tears filled her eyes as she reached out and drew back the clean white sheet, revealing Tony's pale face. His eyes were closed, and he looked almost peaceful. The burn marks stretched up his neck, marring the complextion that he always bragged about. Ducky had done a good job of making the stiches as neat as possible, so small they were almost invisible. Nothing, however, could hide the fact that Tony was dead.
" This is all my fault." Tears were threatening to spill over her cheeks. " I should have known…I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my mistake cost your life." Her apologetic rant was interrupted by a gentle voice calling her name.
" Ziva. Ziva, come here." Gibbs was standing in the open doorway, the soft light from the elevator illuminating his sillouette. Ziva sighed and drew the sheet back over Tony's face.
" Ziva, you can't keep going back in there?" Gibbs scolded her gently when she reached him.
" Gibbs." Ziva tried to keep her tears in check, but her voice came out a little gasp. " It's all my-my fault." She stammered.
" Ziva, you can't keep blaming yourself for this." Gibbs flicked the emergency stop button for the elevator and sat down on the floor, pulling Ziva with him.
" Gibbs, I am the bomb expert on the team. I should have recognized that the bomb was not a fake. If I had, Tony would still be…alive." She choked the last word out. " I have lost friends before, but never one like this." The tears spilled over her face and Gibbs pulled her into a tight hug. Without thinking, she buried her face in Gibbs' shirtfront. She felt Gibbs hands running up and down her back, and his cheek resting on her hair.
" Gibbs?" She sniffed after a few moments. " Can I ask you a question?"
" Sure, Ziver. Anything." He replied, his arms still tight around her.
" Does it ever go away?" She paused. " The pain, I mean."
There was a long moment of silence. Then Gibbs spoke up into the dark silence.
" No, Ziva. It never goes away."