Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
I didn't know where I was but I was walking in a park holding her hand. She was beautiful. She was tall and slim with brown hair and brown eyes. Every time I looked into her eye's Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl popped into my head. And her skin! Her skin was pale, not a sickly pale, but a glowing pale that contrasted with her dark hair. I hated that I couldn't hear her voice, her thoughts, or her laugh. I hated that I didn't even know who she was.
My name is Edward Cullen. I'm an up and coming actor starring in a new movie that was based on a book and that has an extremely, alarmingly, large fan base. Not to be arrogant, but I could go out and get almost any girl I want. But I didn't want them; they didn't even want me. They wanted the hopelessly in love vampire that they read about. I wanted her, the girl from my dreams.
I dreamt about her every time I closed my eyes. And every time I wake up, I realize that she's not there. She might not even be a real person, just a figment of my imagination. But deep down inside, I knew she was real. Or at least I hoped she was. Here I am holding her hand, but I can't feel her touch. I can see her lips moving, but no sound comes out. I can't even smell her hair or her perfume. I have nothing but her sight, but her smile and beauty makes it worth my while. All my dreams of her are like this. Actually all my dreams are of her. I've been dreaming of her for a long time, ever since I read the script. When I auditioned, I just imagined she was the human girl, and I was the vampire fighting for control.
She was looking at me now, staring right into my soul. She opened her mouth to say something; I prayed for her voice, for her to say my name. "Edward." Did that just happen?! "Edward." I can hear her! But she sounds wrong… and familiar? "Edward!" I groaned when I realized whose voice it was. It was Jessica, my assistant. She was very pretty and had blonde hair, but not my type. She was a good assistant and friendly…a little too friendly sometimes.
"Edward! You're on in two minutes! I leave you alone for five minutes and you fall asleep on me!" teased Jessica. I was suddenly aware of my position. I was sprawled out on a couch in the Green Room. I was supposed to go on The Late Show tonight to promote the movie. "Come on Sleepy." Jessica said as she pulled me along in the hallway into the backstage area. "Sorry Jessica, I guess it was the jetlag," I apologized. She gave me a small smile while she checked my clothes and popped a breath mint in mouth. I was grateful for Jessica; she really was a lifesaver. I mentally laughed at the joke I just made.
I stood by the curtain, waiting for my cue. I was really nervous for I wasn't fully awake yet, and I knew that I would mumble about anything or worse her. "Our first guest tonight is one of the stars of the up and coming movie..." I haven't told anyone about her. Not even my friends or even my sister. I know it seems strange, but I'm extremely close with Alice. She is my twin, even though we're nothing alike – both appearance and personality. I'm tall; she's short. I have messy reddish-brown hair; she has short, spiky, black hair. And I have green eyes, while she has blue eyes. She's also extremely hyper and happy, while I'm just mellow. "It opens in theaters nationwide November 21st. Please welcome, Edward Cullen."
There was a lot of screaming as I walked across the stage toward my seat. I gave a little wave to the audience which was mostly filled with women, and they responded with louder screams. It was ridiculous.
"Welcome to the show." I shook David's hand and sat down.
"Thank you I'm excited to be here."
"How are you doing?" Oh just fantastic!
"Excellent, thanks."
"Are you excited about the movie?"
"I'm excited, but a bit more nervous."
"Nervous? Why would you be nervous?"
"The fans – there is a fairly huge fan base – they get very critical when it comes to portraying these characters."
"Oh really. How so?"
"Right before we started filming I went online and found some fan message boards – big mistake. Some people were not so thrilled that I got the part. Actually a lot. It hurt my ego. But now I know to just ignore it and do my best."
"Oh no! What did they say?"
"Some said that I didn't look like my character. Some said I wasn't good looking enough to be him." That's just the nicer stuff.
"Well that would hurt anyone's ego."
"Yeah I guess."
"So tell us about the movie."
"Well the movie is based on a book. And my character is a vampire, and he runs into this human girl whose blood calls to him. The smell of her blood is so sweet to him, it draws him to her. But he and his family are vegetarians - "
"Wait vegetarians? Don't vampires drink blood?"
"Well, it's what they call it. They only drink animal blood. There sort of the freaks of the vampire world. But my character has to fight the urge to kill this human girl. And he falls in love with her."
"Interesting. Well your character finds love onscreen, did you … happen to find romance with any of your costars?" Ah. Her, if only.
"No she's not – I mean we're all just close friends." Don't catch that! Please God you didn't catch that!
"Oh but there's someone isn't there?! Who is she?"
Oh shit. "She's no one. I don't even know her." Oh good, I'm making it so much better.
"Wait a minute. You don't know her?"
"It's complicated…." I might as well let it out. "I've never actually seen her in person."
"Oh I see. It's one of those phone - "
"God no!" This is not going so well.
"Online dating?" I wish… at least she would be real…
"No… This is so embarrassing. I can't believe I'm even telling you this and on TV!" I'm going to die. I'm going to die right now.
"Go on. Don't be embarrassed."
Yeah right. "Yeah right… she's in my dreams."
"OH! It's one of those dreams."
"No!" Oh shit, I'm just making this worse. "It's not trust me. It's strange really. In my dreams, all we do is walk and I hold her hand. There's no sound, I can't even feel her touch or anything."
"What does she look like?"
"She's beautiful. She has long brown hair. She has these big brown eyes. Her smile is bright and contagious." I could go on for a while.
"Wow. She sounds like a lot of ladies here." The audience squealed at this fact. None of these women had anything on her.
"Oh I wish she was here. I hope she's just real." Yep laugh at me, I know I'm pathetic.
"Well you'll find her. I'm sure you will. Make sure you'll invite me to the wedding. The film opens… when did we say? November….21st! Thanks for coming. Edward Cullen, everyone!" Oh thank god! I'm done!
I thanked David again and walked off stage. As I made my way to the Green Room, Jessica came up to me with my cell phone. "Alice" was the only thing she said to me. Oh shit.