JK Rowling and the Freaked out Wizards
by Samuel de Bie
Hey everybody ! This is my first story ever on FF.net. Hope you like it ! Anyway, here's the summary : the Wizarding World is turned upside down. JK Rowling meets Voldemort (or should I say Voldy), who happens to be the good guy in the story ! They fight against the True Dark Lord. Harry Potter. Everybody in this story is different and very out of character. Well, let's begin ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER 1: THE WELL KNOWN STRANGER
Our story begins in a beautiful mansion somewhere in Great Britain. In this mansion, the famous author J.K. Rowling is happily writing book 5 of her Harry Potter series. But IS she REALLY writing? Let's go inside...
Joanne sat at her desk, thinking what she was next going to write. "And then they lived happily ever after... No, that's at the end, not at the beginning! Er. Harry Potter was a highly unusable boy... I mean unusual, of course... AARGH! I can think of nothing!" Joanne then got a little mad and burned her desk. "Oh no, what have I done?" She managed to get out of her mansion, before it burned to the ground.
An hour later, she stepped through the rain, without even a raincoat. If she hadn't got mad, she was now sitting in her mansion, enjoying her wealth... And now, she had nothing. NOT EVEN A HOME! She was thinking of her great period of wealth, when suddenly a man in with a black robe and hood appeared from the dark shadows. He said: "Aren't you..."
"Yes, I am JK Rowling", said Joanne. She told her story to the stranger. "Ah, that's too bad... Why don't you come with me, we can have a nice chat at the fireplace". JK Rowling then followed the stranger. When they were sitting at the fireplace, she asked: "I'm sorry, sir, but may I ask you who you are?" The man did his hood off. JK Rowling screamed. "I..." the man said dramatically, "Am Lord Voldemort!" JK Rowling, with the look of pure horror on her face, said with an unusual high voice: "But... I didn't know you even existed! I mean... You're a character from a novel!"
"So? Does that mean anything?", Voldemort said, lightly hurt. "Oh no, it doesn't mean anything!", Joanne said quickly. Voldemort sighed.
"Yes, I am a character from your novel. So are Harry Potter and his little friends. But we all exist. However, we are slightly different from what you wrote. I, for instance, am not the villain. No way. There is a far more evil lord out there..." Joanne asked: "And who is that Dark Lord?", holding her breath. Voldemort sighed again. "It's... Harry Potter". Joanne couldn't believe her ears. "It's true. Harry Potter is the true Dark Lord. Let me tell you something about the Wizarding World. 14 years ago, I went to visit my closest friends, James and Lily Potter. I wanted to hug their little son Harry, but he bit my finger. As I screamed of pain, James and Lily got mad. They thought I wanted to scare the little creature.
Then they put a curse on me. I was nothing. NOTHING! I had to live of others, like a PARASITE! Then, James and Lily died in a car crash and Harry was left alone. One day, the Dursleys found him and brought him over to their house. But it was a huge mistake. Since then, Potter terrorised the poor fellows. He treated them like slaves. When he was eleven, Potter got a letter from Hogwarts. First he didn't want to go, because he then couldn't terrorise the Dursleys anymore. But Hagrid, the evil gamekeeper of Hogwarts, made a evil deal with the evil Harry Potter and then, he went to Hogwarts to plan his evil plans to conquer Hogwarts."
Joanne was astonished. "There is only one who can save the Wizarding World from being conquered by the evil Harry Potter: and that's you, Joanne". After the first shock, Joanne asked: "What do I have to do?" Voldemort said: "Go to the Privet Drive on my broomstick to spy on Potter. Follow him everywhere. I'll try to have contact with you. Tell me everything you saw. Together, we will do extraordinary things... Or something like that. Now, you take my broom and fly to Privet Drive!" And with that, Joanne took Voldemort's "Snaky Broom Four Hundred" and flew to Privet Drive, to spy on the evil Harry Potter.
Somewhat later.
When Joanne was flying over the village, she suddenly saw a neat street. She knew it - this was Privet Drive. She landed before the house with number four and climbed over the fence. She sneaked to the window, to see what was happening. There they were, all four of them at the dinner table - Vernon Dursley, Petunia Dursley, Dudley Dursley and - she shivered - Harry Potter. At first sight, everything seemed perfectly normal - when suddenly, Harry stood up.
"I'm going upstairs, if you idiots don't mind", he said, with an unusual cool voice. "Boy, he sounds like Malfoy", Joanne thought. Petunia Dursley said: "Why Harry, don't you want another piece of bacon, Harry dear?" Harry gave her a dirty look. "What have I told you people of calling me with THAT name?" Petunia said quickly: "I'm so sorry, ALMIGHTY LORD POTTER!" Harry said: "That's better. And to answer your question, Dursley - haven't I told you that I was going upstairs? So no, I-do-not-want-another-piece-of- bacon!", Harry whispered, but in a evil way. Then he went upstairs.
"Boy, this Harry turns out to be a much more interesting character than MY Harry", Joanne thought in herself. "Can't I keep it like this? But no - I have to stop that evil character". She stepped on Voldy's "Snaky Broom Four Hundred" and flew to the window of Harry's room, to spy on him there.
There he was. Harry Potter. He sat on his bed, reading something. It must have been his evil plan! Yes, it was, cause Harry was laughing evil when he put it away. "Another year, another chance to conquer Hogwarts", he said. "But it has become harder, now that Voldemort guy is back... the idiot. I hated him since I was a baby - yes, I really enjoyed biting his finger". Suddenly, Joanne heared the sound of wings. Oh no, it was Hedwig, Lord Potter's evil owl! She quickly flew away as Hedwig was coming to Harry's room.
A minute later, she flew back to the window. There they were, Lord Potter and his evil owl. "Thank you, Hedwig, my evil servant... Mwahahaha! I hope you brought back some evil news". He opened the first letter. "Ah, this is from Hermione Granger, my (and Ron's, Draco's, Neville's and Snape's) girlfriend. Yuk, I can't imagine her snogging with that last character. However, I must read her letter..." He opened it and read:
- "Most handsome Lord Potter,
I again snogged some idiots from the Ministry, like Percy Weasley, as you demanded, and they now all stand at our side. Victory is ours! I had to use some special tactics, however - that Percy guy wasn't happy that quick.
But you know me - I always have some special techniques in store...
Love, your evil girlfriend Hermione." -
Lord Potter grinned. You nearly could see hearts floating before his eyes... if there was ONE thing that made him loose his mind, it was Hermione Granger. She could make anyone go wild.
He opened his second letter, which was from Hagrid, the evil gamekeeper of Hogwarts. Lord Potter read:
- "Most Evil Lord Potter,
Here be your most devoted servant, Rubeus Hagrid.
I heard from your - and Ron's, and Neville's, and Draco's, and Snape's - girlfriend that she managed ter get those fools from the Ministry ter our side. It's just perfect!
I'm still waiting for your most evil plan, my lord. I'm also preparing ter get every single spy from that idiot Voldemort - he has come back, and we must be careful.
Oh yeah, you maybe heard that there's still no teacher for Defence Against The Dark Arts. Maybe we could send one of our men. Then I am not the only teacher that is on your side! Maybe you'll have to find someone. Hehehe, we'll have Hogwarts conquered in no-time!
Evil Greetings,
Your most loyal servant Hagrid".
Lord Potter thought. "Hmm... yes, it would be good if I had another one of my men in Hogwarts, but besides Hagrid, I don't have any servants that could take the job... I'll have to get another one at my side..." Joanne smiled... she knew what she was going to do.
The evil Lord Potter will be after you if you don't review! So - hit the review button!
Hey everybody ! This is my first story ever on FF.net. Hope you like it ! Anyway, here's the summary : the Wizarding World is turned upside down. JK Rowling meets Voldemort (or should I say Voldy), who happens to be the good guy in the story ! They fight against the True Dark Lord. Harry Potter. Everybody in this story is different and very out of character. Well, let's begin ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER 1: THE WELL KNOWN STRANGER
Our story begins in a beautiful mansion somewhere in Great Britain. In this mansion, the famous author J.K. Rowling is happily writing book 5 of her Harry Potter series. But IS she REALLY writing? Let's go inside...
Joanne sat at her desk, thinking what she was next going to write. "And then they lived happily ever after... No, that's at the end, not at the beginning! Er. Harry Potter was a highly unusable boy... I mean unusual, of course... AARGH! I can think of nothing!" Joanne then got a little mad and burned her desk. "Oh no, what have I done?" She managed to get out of her mansion, before it burned to the ground.
An hour later, she stepped through the rain, without even a raincoat. If she hadn't got mad, she was now sitting in her mansion, enjoying her wealth... And now, she had nothing. NOT EVEN A HOME! She was thinking of her great period of wealth, when suddenly a man in with a black robe and hood appeared from the dark shadows. He said: "Aren't you..."
"Yes, I am JK Rowling", said Joanne. She told her story to the stranger. "Ah, that's too bad... Why don't you come with me, we can have a nice chat at the fireplace". JK Rowling then followed the stranger. When they were sitting at the fireplace, she asked: "I'm sorry, sir, but may I ask you who you are?" The man did his hood off. JK Rowling screamed. "I..." the man said dramatically, "Am Lord Voldemort!" JK Rowling, with the look of pure horror on her face, said with an unusual high voice: "But... I didn't know you even existed! I mean... You're a character from a novel!"
"So? Does that mean anything?", Voldemort said, lightly hurt. "Oh no, it doesn't mean anything!", Joanne said quickly. Voldemort sighed.
"Yes, I am a character from your novel. So are Harry Potter and his little friends. But we all exist. However, we are slightly different from what you wrote. I, for instance, am not the villain. No way. There is a far more evil lord out there..." Joanne asked: "And who is that Dark Lord?", holding her breath. Voldemort sighed again. "It's... Harry Potter". Joanne couldn't believe her ears. "It's true. Harry Potter is the true Dark Lord. Let me tell you something about the Wizarding World. 14 years ago, I went to visit my closest friends, James and Lily Potter. I wanted to hug their little son Harry, but he bit my finger. As I screamed of pain, James and Lily got mad. They thought I wanted to scare the little creature.
Then they put a curse on me. I was nothing. NOTHING! I had to live of others, like a PARASITE! Then, James and Lily died in a car crash and Harry was left alone. One day, the Dursleys found him and brought him over to their house. But it was a huge mistake. Since then, Potter terrorised the poor fellows. He treated them like slaves. When he was eleven, Potter got a letter from Hogwarts. First he didn't want to go, because he then couldn't terrorise the Dursleys anymore. But Hagrid, the evil gamekeeper of Hogwarts, made a evil deal with the evil Harry Potter and then, he went to Hogwarts to plan his evil plans to conquer Hogwarts."
Joanne was astonished. "There is only one who can save the Wizarding World from being conquered by the evil Harry Potter: and that's you, Joanne". After the first shock, Joanne asked: "What do I have to do?" Voldemort said: "Go to the Privet Drive on my broomstick to spy on Potter. Follow him everywhere. I'll try to have contact with you. Tell me everything you saw. Together, we will do extraordinary things... Or something like that. Now, you take my broom and fly to Privet Drive!" And with that, Joanne took Voldemort's "Snaky Broom Four Hundred" and flew to Privet Drive, to spy on the evil Harry Potter.
Somewhat later.
When Joanne was flying over the village, she suddenly saw a neat street. She knew it - this was Privet Drive. She landed before the house with number four and climbed over the fence. She sneaked to the window, to see what was happening. There they were, all four of them at the dinner table - Vernon Dursley, Petunia Dursley, Dudley Dursley and - she shivered - Harry Potter. At first sight, everything seemed perfectly normal - when suddenly, Harry stood up.
"I'm going upstairs, if you idiots don't mind", he said, with an unusual cool voice. "Boy, he sounds like Malfoy", Joanne thought. Petunia Dursley said: "Why Harry, don't you want another piece of bacon, Harry dear?" Harry gave her a dirty look. "What have I told you people of calling me with THAT name?" Petunia said quickly: "I'm so sorry, ALMIGHTY LORD POTTER!" Harry said: "That's better. And to answer your question, Dursley - haven't I told you that I was going upstairs? So no, I-do-not-want-another-piece-of- bacon!", Harry whispered, but in a evil way. Then he went upstairs.
"Boy, this Harry turns out to be a much more interesting character than MY Harry", Joanne thought in herself. "Can't I keep it like this? But no - I have to stop that evil character". She stepped on Voldy's "Snaky Broom Four Hundred" and flew to the window of Harry's room, to spy on him there.
There he was. Harry Potter. He sat on his bed, reading something. It must have been his evil plan! Yes, it was, cause Harry was laughing evil when he put it away. "Another year, another chance to conquer Hogwarts", he said. "But it has become harder, now that Voldemort guy is back... the idiot. I hated him since I was a baby - yes, I really enjoyed biting his finger". Suddenly, Joanne heared the sound of wings. Oh no, it was Hedwig, Lord Potter's evil owl! She quickly flew away as Hedwig was coming to Harry's room.
A minute later, she flew back to the window. There they were, Lord Potter and his evil owl. "Thank you, Hedwig, my evil servant... Mwahahaha! I hope you brought back some evil news". He opened the first letter. "Ah, this is from Hermione Granger, my (and Ron's, Draco's, Neville's and Snape's) girlfriend. Yuk, I can't imagine her snogging with that last character. However, I must read her letter..." He opened it and read:
- "Most handsome Lord Potter,
I again snogged some idiots from the Ministry, like Percy Weasley, as you demanded, and they now all stand at our side. Victory is ours! I had to use some special tactics, however - that Percy guy wasn't happy that quick.
But you know me - I always have some special techniques in store...
Love, your evil girlfriend Hermione." -
Lord Potter grinned. You nearly could see hearts floating before his eyes... if there was ONE thing that made him loose his mind, it was Hermione Granger. She could make anyone go wild.
He opened his second letter, which was from Hagrid, the evil gamekeeper of Hogwarts. Lord Potter read:
- "Most Evil Lord Potter,
Here be your most devoted servant, Rubeus Hagrid.
I heard from your - and Ron's, and Neville's, and Draco's, and Snape's - girlfriend that she managed ter get those fools from the Ministry ter our side. It's just perfect!
I'm still waiting for your most evil plan, my lord. I'm also preparing ter get every single spy from that idiot Voldemort - he has come back, and we must be careful.
Oh yeah, you maybe heard that there's still no teacher for Defence Against The Dark Arts. Maybe we could send one of our men. Then I am not the only teacher that is on your side! Maybe you'll have to find someone. Hehehe, we'll have Hogwarts conquered in no-time!
Evil Greetings,
Your most loyal servant Hagrid".
Lord Potter thought. "Hmm... yes, it would be good if I had another one of my men in Hogwarts, but besides Hagrid, I don't have any servants that could take the job... I'll have to get another one at my side..." Joanne smiled... she knew what she was going to do.
The evil Lord Potter will be after you if you don't review! So - hit the review button!