There Goes the World...
By: AWluvbug
~PG
~Dark isn't mine and never will be....But a girl can dream. :oD
~ After I saw AJBAC I was listening to my Lifehouse CD and I heard the song 'Quasimodo'. It made me think of what could have been going on in Zack's head at the end. So this is my interpretation of Zack's actions. It is a romance piece in a sense and it's not really a M/Z or M/L....Oh just read it and you'll see what I mean.
~Thanks so much to Lifehouse for an awesome song (and CD might I add). And of course thanks to everyone who reviewed my other stories! I love you all! And
don't forge to review this one too! Much love!
~Just a little update for you. Wanted to say thanks to everyone who read Shadows and Adriann….love getting your reviews! And don't worry there should be something new coming outta my head sometime soon!
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I can't believe that I'm back here. That little punk he...he was me. Only younger and.... I can't be here anymore, I can't. I won't. At least Max and the other's got out safely. And we destroyed the DNA lab. That should put a real damper on anymore Manticore science projects. At least for now . And that's what we came here to do. Mission complete.
Zack thought as he was wheeled into the trauma room kicking and screaming. His wounds were superficial but of course Manticore couldn't risk any damage to their expensive lab rats. Especially one of their CO's.
Let go of me! I have to go meet Max, Syl and Krit, along with Miracle Boy and Lydecker back at the van. I have to get out of here!
Out of the corner of his eye Zack noticed two doctors working intently on their patient.
What's going on over there? Did Manticore lose a man? Damn. What? No. No.
"Max!" Zack screamed with every part of his being. Seeing Max on the table fighting for her life and losing the battle turned his stomach, especially because it was his fault.
Maxie? Oh my God. Maxie. No! I can't lose you!
You could be right and I'll be real,
honesty won't be a pain.
You'll have to feel, cause I don't need your approval to find my worth.
I've been trapped inside my own mind,
afraid to open my eyes to what I'd find.
I don't want to live like this anymore.
Zack finally broke free when Max flat lined for the second time after the doctors used internal paddles. He easily took out the soldier guarding him grabbing his gun in the process.
She looks like as good a hostage as any. Why do I feel like I know her?
Zack took hold of the woman near by who had just ordered Max prepped for organ harvesting as he tried to shake his confusing thoughts.
"Bring her back!" he shouted at the doctor as he pointed the gun at him.
"He hearts too badly damaged." the doctor replied terrified of the armed man in
front of him.
"Then transplant her!"
"There's nothing in the donor bank."
"Then you'll need a donor." Zack said pointing the gun towards his hostage's head.
"It won't do her any good. She's an X5. She needs an X5 heart." the woman told Zack with arrogance and fascination dripping from her words.
I know that voice, but from where? How do I know her? Why do I hate her?
Zack scanned his memory bank trying to draw up something that would answer the thousands of questions racing through his head.
Renfro. She's behind this whole thing. She's probably the one who killed Tinga and sprung the attack on Case. She's the low-life piece of scum Lydecker told us about.
Zack threw the woman aside as her walked to Max bending down to speak into her ear.
There goes my pain, there goes my chains.
Didn't you see them falling?
There goes this feeling that has no meaning.
Seeing Max lying there, dead, ripped Zack's heart out. He would do anything to bring her back. Anything. That's when the decision was made.
There goes the world off of my shoulders.
There goes the world off of my back.
There it goes!
Oh God Maxie, I'm sorry. How could I let this happen to you? I should have gone back with you to get Brin. I shouldn't have let you go alone. But I didn't want you to think that I thought you couldn't handle it on you own. But I had my mission to complete – as always. I had to get back to our check point – as always. I had to neutralize the situation – as always. Those kids came out of nowhere. They were us Maxie. I thought you got away. I thought you were safe. If only I had listened to my heart, to my gut, to anything except that damn voice in my head that is always telling me to follow protocol.
Does it scare you that I can be something different from you?
Would it make you feel more comfortable if I wasn't?
You can't control me you can't take away from me who I am.
I always thought that I had to be the big brother and protect everyone. I split us all up in '09, so I had to make sure we were all safe. I had to protect you. I'm not sure why, but you were always different. When I heard one of the others was in danger I would run to help, but when I saw your face on that wanted poster, for something that I did, my stomach turned, I felt like I was going to throw up. It was that way every time you were in danger. Like now. Seeing you like this, it breaks my heart. I fell so helpless.
There goes my chains, there goes my pain.
Didn't you see them falling?
There goes this feeling that has no meaning.
There goes the world off of my shoulders.
There goes the world off of my back.
I know how much I hurt you in the past few months, telling you that you were a sentimental fool for staying in Seattle, not letting you know about my contact number or where our family was. I'm sorry Max. I was just so caught up in my own stupid obsession with military regulations that I forgot how to feel. I forgot that you were going through more than I wanted to admit and how much I wanted to be like you. You were always stronger than I gave you credit for, than I wanted to admit. I was always so hard on you.
Have you ever felt that your only comfort was your cage?
You're not alone. I have felt the same as you.
Have you ever felt that your secrets give you away?
You're not alone. I have been there too.
I watched you fall in love. Even if you wouldn't admit it. But every time you looked at him, every time you said his name, every time Eyes Only showed up on TV with a new hack, you eyes gave it away. Your eyes always gave away your true feelings. I wished that I could let go of everything from the past and show my emotions like you. God knows they were there, I just didn't know how to let them show. You were the only person that I could ever open up to Maxie, as rare as that was. But I held back on the thing that was eating away at me most. Like I told you, even I have my moments of weakness, but my real weakness has always been you. I've loved you for so long Maxie. I just never knew how to tell you.
Everyone is looking and everyone is laughing,
but I think everyone feels the same.
Everybody wants to feel okay.
Everybody wants to.....Everybody wants to feel,
Cause you can't change me you can't break me !
When I came back to help Tinga, I had every intention of telling you how I felt, but when all hell broke loose I had to change my plans. Then when I walked in on you and Miracle Boy...Logan, my plans to tell you that I loved you were permanently changed to keeping my mouth shut. One thing that I am thankful for is Manticore's resolve that was built into me, because if I didn't have that, I would have cried when I saw you kiss him like that. How many times did I dream of being in Logan's place. My worst fears and my greatest hopes were confirmed in that moment. I prayed that you could truly love someone, but it wasn't me that you loved, not the way I love you anyway, it was Logan.
There goes the world off of my shoulders.
There goes the world off of my back.
Cause I don't want it! I don't want it.
Maxie, what I'm trying to say is I'm letting you go. I'm letting go of all my dreams with you, and I'm giving them to Logan. I can see how much he loves you. Maybe more than I ever could. He's sure as hell better at showing it and he'd do a better job at loving you too. But this is for the best. I'm giving you away now because I won't make it to your wedding. You're Logan's now. You've had my heart for as long as I can remember, and you'll have for all eternity.
"Fight them Maxie. Promise me you'll fight them." Zack whispered as tears threatened to overflow onto his cheeks. Standing up Zack took a calming breath ignoring the eyes on his back.
"X5-559. I've got a heart for you." Zack said bringing the gun to his head. Feeling
the cold barrel against his temple he added one final thought.
It's up to you now Maxie. Fight for me, bring Manticore down once and for all. And be careful. Watch out for Lydecker I still don't trust him. Just please be careful. I love you, always. Never forget that. I love you Max.
The sound of the gun shot echoed through the room as Zack's body crumpled onto Max's.
There goes the world off of my shoulders.
There goes the world off of my back.
There it goes.
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~Well guys I hope you liked it. It's been on my mind for a while but I wanted to finish Adriann first (shameless plug. sorry). So I finally got to write it! Yippe! Thanks for reading :oD
~Amanda
~I think that I have some kind of obsession with this part of AJBAC because I have used it in two stories now. The question is how many more times will I use it? Dun Dun Dun. I need help I know. :)