Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock.
This is my first Sherlock fanfic; spoilers for the whole 3 seasons ahead. Each section (paragraph) is for each episode, until the last two which both come from the last episode. It'll probably be obvious, but I wanted to clarify in case of any confusion.
"John is quite a guy."
It was this line that was going through Sherlock's head as he realized it was John who had just killed the man who would have - very likely - killed him a moment later (though Sherlock would never admit it to himself). No other person could have done it, Sherlock was sure, beyond a doubt. So when he went up to his new flatmate and watched him deny it terribly, Sherlock could only smile and invite him to dinner. It was a promising beginning.
"John is quite a guy."
It was this conclusion that Sherlock came to once again when he had saved John from the Chinese traders. Sure, John had been scared of dying, but Sherlock had learned long ago that most humans were, save him and perhaps Mycroft. The fact that John had remained as calm as he had, that he had recovered so quickly - it was a fair endorsement of the man's character. Even if he would rather go on a date with Sarah than investigate a case with Sherlock. But the detective was fairly hopeful that this little traumatic experience would take her fragile female mind far away from their cases afterwards.
"John is quite a guy."
It was this assessment that hammered its way into Sherlock's head as John threw himself at Moriarty - well, after the chaos was over, of course; Sherlock's mind had been quite preoccupied before that with John's imminent death. But anyway, John was willing to die rather than Sherlock, even though the ex-military man was probably quite aware of how little Sherlock valued his life. Sherlock was sure that John was scared of dying. So why would he have done that? He was simply...
"John is quite a guy."
It was this fact that Sherlock had to appreciate as Irene Adler vied for his attention. John never pestered him about dinner. John never complained when he found himself talking to someone else. John never pretended to be dead - well, alright, Sherlock couldn't really make that comparison, but darn the universe if he couldn't be childish sometimes. John would scold him if he was childish aloud, so this was his solace. At least Adler didn't hide his cigarettes. Oh, wait. That was Sherlock's idea. Stupid idea. But John was firm all throughout Sherlock's lapses, a rock that never eroded. Adler was more like a wave, unable to be caught, only briefly appreciated. So Sherlock was grateful for John even as he dealt with this anomaly.
"John is quite a guy."
It was this belief that gnawed endlessly in Sherlock's head as he watched his friend walk away. Some part of him - a very annoying part - was telling him that he was stupid for letting John walk away like that, for having said something so awful to the one person that he found worthy of talking to. And really, what had John done to be yelled at? He had only been trying to help. Sherlock resolved to swallow his very large pride in order to apologize to his friend the next day. It would be hard, but John was worth it.
"John is quite a guy."
It was this verdict that lay on the tip of Moriarty's tongue, Sherlock could see it. But Sherlock didn't agree; the way Moriarty meant it was the way that they both saw everyone: as interesting as a simple-minded ant, busily working its hardest. John wasn't like everyone else, though; he wasn't a pet or a toy. He was, in Sherlock's eyes, an equal, someone to be respected. Moriarty wasn't allowed to talk about John like that, and if John had been there... well, good thing he wasn't. Sherlock, of course, had planned things this way. Why? He wasn't quite sure, but something about Moriarty felt personal. There was a twinge of guilt when his mind added too personal for John to know about. It wasn't what he had meant.
"John is quite a guy."
Sherlock meant it in a very different sense as he nursed his bleeding (broken?) nose. That very annoying part of his mind was scolding him - stupid, stupid, stupid - for trying to make light of John's feelings. Why hadn't Sherlock told him? He couldn't say it was a bad choice, he knew his reasons. It would have been too difficult. Some part of him still called himself a coward for dealing with things like this; lightly, with a mask, forcing all of the pain that John felt onto his shoulders alone, not helping him. Sherlock could see, even after only a few minutes, that the pain of Sherlock's loss had been something John couldn't share with Mary. It made Sherlock feel satisfied, for some reason, mixed with the guilt and the anger. He wanted to be sensitive to John's feelings, he did, but... he couldn't give in to feelings, because then what would be left of him? Yourself over John. Sherlock hated that part of himself - he hated it even more when John did, somehow, accept him back.
"John is quite a guy."
Sherlock was stunned to hear those words - those exact words - out of Mary's lips while she was talking alone with him. It was true, of course, but for her to be saying them... it was stunning. Sherlock listened to the emotion in her voice, and could tell that while not the same, it was similar to his own. He knew that she truly cared for John. And likewise, he could tell that John cared for Mary. Was this what being a third wheel felt like? How pathetic... a human emotion. But even more unsettling than even that was the thought that kept repeating itself in his mind - would things have been better if I hadn't come back? If he were to tell John that, what would his reaction be? But John was appreciated, by Mary, so Sherlock wasn't needed anymore. Sure, Mycroft said 'Queen and country,' but they both knew what Sherlock really wanted to protect.
"John is quite a guy."
Sherlock knew that he wasn't the only one who believed that, that Mary wasn't the only one with him, but there was also the person on the other side of the door. The whispered words, "We would never do that to John Watson," meant something to him, but also to the major. It was John's wedding day. Whether or not Sherlock approved of Mary or weddings or John's wedding - none of that mattered, because this was a day to celebrate John, and Sherlock could agree with that. But there was another emotion buried in that message that had nothing to do with the major on the other side of the door, or the wedding, or anything. It was the way John had spoken to him, looked at him, just a moment before... and he knew that something had changed, that something was completely different from before the incident. And somehow, the broken tone in the detective's voice was suddenly so very real. This wedding day would mean more to John than Sherlock had anticipated... he knew that John had found someone else to love. The major couldn't die that day, just as Sherlock couldn't ruin it.
"John is quite a guy."
Sherlock had lived his life by those words - yes, he had started living when he met John Watson. Before then, he didn't feel, didn't really care about other humans, didn't care about living or dying. What was life without those things? Even now, Sherlock would give them up for John, who gave him everything. Even now, there was only one person who mattered to Sherlock. Unfortunately, just as Magnussen had said, John valued Mary most, and so Sherlock couldn't ignore her. In fact, he had to value her as he did John. Even The Woman didn't mean this much to him. And now, knowing that Magnussen held the key to John's happiness...Sherlock knew he'd have to give up everything for John. He wasn't a superhero, out to slay dragons. He wasn't a devil, out to cause misery. He was just Sherlock, trying to save John. And that was why the gunshot went off, despite him knowing the repercussions. Won't survive more than six months.
"John is quite a guy."
Yes, he is. And thanks to Sherlock's efforts, he will continue to be, for a long time. Hopefully a happy one. So here they stand, at the airport, saying the last lines Sherlock gets to say to him before his almost certain death. "John, there's something... I should say; I-I've meant to say always and then never have. Since it's unlikely we'll ever meet again, I might as well say it now." It's hard, the way the words stick in his throat. He knows what he wants to say. It's what he's wanted to say since he first met John.
It began with the bullet through the window; John saved his life.
It ended with the bullet in Magnussen's head; Sherlock saved John's life.
"Sherlock is actually a girl's name." Why not let things end where they had ended? John would remember him at his height. "To the very best of times, John."
They were the best of times because Sherlock knew... John really was quite a guy.
Isn't he, though? I loved Sherlock from the moment he texted everyone in the Yard, but after watching the series time and time again, I've come to love John almost as much. Reviews appreciated!