Day 1: Sleep…sleep…sleep. Rise with gunk in my eyes. Eat something with very little nutrional value, if any. Lay back down and read, lay down and search web on phone. Daydream and overthink…Cry. Should probably shower. Don't wanna. Should at least brush your teeth. Maybe later. Should definitely take your medication…what's the point?
Day 2: See day one
Day 3: See day two
Day 4: See day three
By now I've lost track of the days. Who am I trying to kid I wasn't ever really keeping track of the days. I can't seem to keep track of anything but Jasper Whitlock. Jasper who a little over a month ago was my supposed best friend. Jasper who's whole world, Alice, broke his heart. Jasper who I was in love with…and oh, did he know it.
Sometimes my mind wanders to my time with Tyler, but not often and not for very long. I don't like to feel guilty so I don't like to think about Tyler. Before anything ever started I knew Tyler and I wouldn't work out. But I indulged him because he was sweet, genuine, and interested. It didn't really matter that I couldn't have a rational conversation with him. Most of the time his mind was so muddled with weed and alcohol. It didn't matter that I'd never love him, I already belonged to Jasper and Jasper was happily in love. I was content to see him and Alice, whom I also love, happy.
But after the incident, well the first incident, I had to end things with Tyler. It would've been wrong to keep stringing him along. I considered myself to be a lot of things. Pitiful. A sucker. A masochist. But cheater was never one of them.
But people change. You do a lot for the people you love. The people who you thought loved you too…You'd still do a lot for them. Or at least I would.
It's been 39 days since I've seen Jasper last. But, if he called me right now I'd come running. It is my way. I can't deny that smile anything…well I guess that's not exactly true. But I'm rambling. I guess that's what happens when you spend 39 days pining away. Things kinda fuse and ramble together.
A/N: Hello. I'm very new to fanfiction...I've tried my hand at writing on here when I was younger but...I was very bad. Anyhoo Hello. This story is moderately based on something that I've been through. I think the easiest way for me to get over it is to tell this story. It's been two years since it's happened. I will try to reveal it in bits and pieces but I don't have much patience so it may not turn out that way lol. This chapter is a little all over the place and it's supposed to be. It's where her (my) head was at at that time. This will either be good or horrible I hope you'll let me know either way.
Oh and the medical issue will be explained. It isn't life threatening unless you don't take care of it. I'm sure some of you can guess what it is.
I hope to get reviews. :) Let's see where this goes.