disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter related; it's all J.K. Rowling.
Prologue: An Introduction to Lily and James
The thing you have to understand about James Potter and Lily Evans, is that he really isn't that big of a prick and she's actually aware of it. That's what's so infuriating. Everyone thinks she doesn't realize it, but she does. Lily's seen him when he doesn't know she's around, when he's with his friends and he thinks no one's watching, and he's magnificent. He's smart and witty, almost downright charming, everything Hogwarts' Golden Boy should be. But then, he's almost… jagged, too. There were edges to James Potter, almost a slight sense of danger. He was arrogant and sarcastic, and he could be downright cruel when he wanted to be. Lily had witnessed it first hand. He was also brilliant, though, at really anything he put his mind to. He performed above everyone in his year, after all, with Sirius, Remus, and Lily right behind him. But James was also street smart. He was practically a quidditch God at Hogwarts, doing things on a broom no one had ever thought possible. And, besides for his marauders, he was a bit of a lone wolf. He needed no one else besides his brothers. He had many, many acquaintances that all liked him; of course the ladies loved him, and he was rather close with his quidditch team as he was their beloved captain. He was even pretty polite for the most part, but in general he just didn't give many people the time of day. Lily assumed where the part of his bad boy persona came from, the fact that everyone just kind of assumed he was better than everyone else. And though she had fought this conclusion for her entire time at Hogwarts, Lily had to admit.. he kind of was, in a horribly, prat-like way.
But James Potter was more than just his strange personality. Lily could see the way he cared for the other three. It's like he tries to protect them, all of them, Remus and Sirius and Peter, from anything other than this fun life they've spent the past six years building. Maybe that was the point of it all, she wondered, the pranks and the girls and the popularity: to keep them all from their actual demons. Lord knows that group of boys had enough. On the surface, they were Hogwarts' favorite troublemakers. Below that, there lied family troubles, identity crisis, and a crippling inferiority complex. But James seemed to lead them to see past all that. He was their glue, she had realized long ago, and their leader. She saw the way he held them all together. In fact, she saw the way his magnetism attracted everyone around him, despite the distance he kept from them. She had sworn long ago to never fall into that pull; she wouldn't be another notch in James Potter's bed post. She had kept her distance, as far away from the Marauders as she could get, spending most of her time with her Slytherin best friend, Severus Snape. They both had found plenty of excuses to despise him, though James repeatedly assured Lily that she was meant to be with him. After about their third year when she had made up her mind on him entirely, he seemed happy to simply comply to her hatred and fuel her fire. To him, it seemed, getting Lily to feel anything, even hatred, was better than her feeling nothing toward him at all.
The years of bickering had led up to one final blowout fight at the end of their fifth year, that had been much bigger than just Lily and James. James had provoked Severus, being the bully that he always had been towards the Slytherin, and when Lily had stepped in, Severus had called her a mudblood. Lily had lost Severus after that, and he would never be her Sev again. After all, how could she ever look at him the same way after he had called her that foul name? She couldn't, she had concluded. It became clear that they had both chosen separate paths in life, and Lily had severed times with him for good. She thought that ending her friendship with Severus would only encourage James to pursue her even more, but the fight seemed to have been the final straw for him as well. Understandably, as she may or may not have said some truly horrible things to him. Not that she thought he hadn't deserved it, because after years of torment, she knew he did. And so she never apologized, and he spent all of sixth year ignoring her existence, like he did to so many other people. Though Lily was glad to be rid of the attention, it bothered her at the same time.. She hated that she had been so special to him for so many years and now she was grouped in with the rest of Hogwarts. She was suddenly too insignificant for him to waste his precious marauder time on. He spent the year dating other girls occasionally, pulling pranks with his friends, and running his quidditch team with the deliberateness of a military general, winning Gryffindor the House Cup.
She had spent the year growing closer with the girls of the Gryffindor House, Marlene Mckinnon and Alice Prewett, which had been nice for her. They had always been friends, but Severus had been her best friend, and the girls had helped to fill this gap. They had begun doing everything together, eating meals, going on Hogsmeade trips and screaming together at quidditch matches. They helped to bring Lily away from all of her studying, and she helped to ground them and make sure they actually did their homework. They truly were a wonderful trio. Most of Hogwarts agreed they were the three most gorgeous girls in their year, though the girls themselves stayed oblivious to this fact. They were all very kind and very well liked as well though, and because of this fact the three girls themselves were very popular among the students of Hogwarts. Lily had gotten to know so many people in this year, even having conversations with Remus Lupin and Sirius Black every once in awhile.
The boys of Gryffindor had grown up a lot in that year too, in more ways than one. The boys had been through quite a bit throughout the years, and had finally begun to mature a little bit. Their pranks were lighthearted and intended to bring fun, instead of malicious attacks on the Slytherins. Even Lily could not help but begin to notice their physical developments as well. In particular, she was rather disgusted by her peaked interest in the physique of the messy-haired marauder. Girls in Hogwarts had always gone crazy over him, but Lily had never seen him as the sex god everyone else did. To be fair, James had never been ugly by any means, but Lily just couldn't appreciate looks when the personality could be so rotten. When he came back for his sixth year, however, he was no longer the hot young boy, he was a gorgeous man, and not a single girl could deny it. He was tall and lean, as an athlete should be, with willowy muscles filling out his strong build. His shoulders had broadened, which only accentuated the narrowness of his hips. He had a strong jaw, an inherited trait from the Potters, with hazel eyes that flashed with mischief. His glasses accentuated them, and appealed to his intelligence. His dark messy hair lay unkempt like it always had, as untamable as James himself. And then there was the smirk. Lily had spent the past six years listening to her roommates squeal about the way James Potter made them feel when he smirked at them, although secretly Lily much preferred his smile. When James wasn't trying to cause trouble, wasn't trying to impress anyone, and wasn't trying to be cool, he was beautiful, although Lily would never admit that to anyone.
She never could quite figure out what exactly Potter saw in her. After all, he was almost everybody's favorite marauder, and she was..well, just Lily. Of course, she had had plenty of guys interested in her, and she knew that she was pretty, but that was it. In her mind, she wasn't stunning or beautiful or magnetic, just pretty. She was smart and kind and a bookworm, not the kind of risk that usually attracted James's wild side. Yes, she had a temper, but she had always felt that she just wasn't..complex, the way that Potter was. The rest of Hogwarts, it seemed, disagreed with Lily thoroughly. As unaware of her own beauty as she was, there was not a single male in Hogwarts that didn't find Lily Evans attractive. Her dark auburn hair lay in waves far past her shoulders, and her green eyes were the brightest that anyone had ever seen. Her creamy, ivory skin was smooth and unmarred, spare for a few freckles sprinkled across her nose. She had grown into a lovely womanly shape as well, with an incredibly tiny waist that flowed into an hourglass outline. Modest as she dressed, her figure simply could not be hidden. Her kind nature and friendly personality only added to her appeal, as so many of the lads of Hogwarts fell for her sweet smile.
That was one of the strongest differences between Lily and James. There was no darkness, no danger to her. Lily was so filled with light, but there was a certain edge to James. He was so different from what people made him out to be, yet in certain ways he was exactly the same. Lily had spent so much time over the summer contemplating all that was James Potter, that she was oblivious to the fact that she had grown attached to the idea of him. She couldn't be sure if she still hated him, as they really hadn't spoken, but he had done nothing to make her continue her hatred nor relieve her of it. Frankly, she more so hated herself for even worrying about it. Towards the end of the summer, however, Lily was given another excuse to let the troublemaker invade her thoughts: he was to be the Head Boy to her Head Girl, and she honestly had no idea what to make of it. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to scream or cry or just be relieved that it wasn't a Slytherin, but those were all younger Lily's reactions. She assured herself that she would remain cool and professional towards Potter this year, though she felt less than sure of the fact. The only thing she did feel sure of was that this year, her very last year, was certain to be the most interesting. Unbeknownst to her, James Potter was halfway across the country, reading his own congratulatory letter from Dumbledore and thinking the exact same thing.