i don't even know what this is. i've been thinking of my old AC story, My Name is Molly, and i just felt like writing a one-shot from Liam's POV. *jazzhands*

Every single one of them was dead.

Liam realized this every day, from the moment he woke up to the minute he went to sleep. The friends he had in his past life were alive, yes, but completely, irrevocably changed. The adults…they were dead.

Every single one.

It became so difficult to sleep. He would do everything he could to keep those thoughts away; sing, recite poems or speeches, do math problems, count to a hundred. Anything he could to distract himself, when the bright intensity of Solaris went to rest and couldn't keep him occupied. But small wonderings slipped through the cracks, and when his eyes slid closed to get some much-needed sleep, nightmares filled his head. He'd wake up only an hour after he'd fallen unconscious and feel so terrified and alone he couldn't breathe, and then tears would come and he'd tell himself that it would be alright, everything will be alright. He was the luckiest person alive—the only person alive, don't think about that, don't think about—after all, he'd survived. He'd made it onto the train. He'd managed to get off at the town Molly was staying, which happened to be the town Alfonso owned. Not only that, but Molly was Corrupted, and really remembered him. All of it was luck. And in the darkest times of night, when sweat rolled down his head and it took all his concentration to not scream in terror, he told himself that he needed to be there. He was the mayor of this town—another responsibility I don't know how to run a place I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't—the villagers looked up to him.

"And maybe," Liam whispered to himself, a habit he'd developed ever since being thrown into the disaster that was his new life, "maybe it'll all be worth it if I can save everyone."

When he had arrived to Solaris, he wondered if he'd ever experienced a pain as agonizing as this.

Locking eyes with Molly, her gaze wary, distrustful, unwelcoming. He didn't know how to act around her, he didn't know what to say. He screamed at her, once, unable to hold in his fear and she had ran away and passed out and was left in bandages. He tried again, but this time she walked up to him whenever he was mumbling to himself, and he knew that she was still careful around him, maybe even afraid after their first unfortunate encounter. He tried again, tried to tell her who she really was and once again she collapsed to the ground. It's hopeless, he gasped to himself as he ran to get help. Why am I trying? Even I warned her what the government would do if she remembered me. Maybe it would be better if I just died.

But then he heard her play the violin.

For the first time since he'd arrived to Solaris, he felt hope. She recalled notes and tunes that should have been impossible to remember, but she did it. She was still weirded out by him, but maybe he could fix that. Maybe it wasn't a lost cause, after all. And when he finally got to tell her the whole story, he saw those cautious, hostile eyes melt into something faintly resembling the Molly he once knew.

Then the alligators came.

It took weeks for him to stop beating himself up about it. He one-hundred percent knew that he would be punished for trying to save Molly, and yet he didn't do anything about it.

"But sometimes, sacrifices have to be made."

He was willing to let an innocent civilian, someone who had once been a child, die at the hands of a pack of alligators.

That haunted him for weeks. Then he brought Molly to the club and the music made his whole body flare up into…an anxiety attack? Panic? All he knew was that he'd heard that song before, and he knew that this K.K. Slider fellow remembered his songs the way Molly did.

"Please, don't give up, Molly. Please don't try to stay what you are now. Just keep trying to become human again, it will be worth it, just…please…"

He'd forced her to promise him. He'd forced her to do something, even if she wanted to do it, he still commanded her. With all the weight pressing on him just couldn't distract himself that night, and thoughts flowed freely in.

I'm selfish. I just want to see her face. I want everything to be normal again. Oh, my god, they're all dead…I want her back because I'm so alone, I'm the only one left, I can't handle being so alone!

When he heard her scream, when he ran to see what was wrong and saw her on the ground, he held her for what must have been hours, waiting for her to awaken. He could feel terror fill his body and he wondered when another surge of hope would hit him again. It had been months since the last one.

Then his house caught on fire, and everything crashed around him. He despised fire, always hated it, and here it was, licking his house and devouring his belongings. It was Molly who saved his life, and even after he'd made it outside and Molly saw his terror and consoled him, he was still dizzy and sick to his stomach from shock. The fear was there, but he was used to that by now.

The alligators came again, but this time, they were on their side. Alli and Gayle, the alligators who smuggled them out of the village and helped make what they thought was Liam's dream come true. He can't help but give a bitter laugh when he remembers how Alli looked to him and said "That's not selfish, trying to save the human race."

It had never been for the human race. It had always been for him, him, him. Everything he did was self-motivated, everything he did may have seemed selfless in nature, but in reality it was just for his goals. Molly said otherwise, Molly insisted she believed in him, but at that point Liam simply couldn't be sure.

I wonder if there will ever be a constant in my life again, something I can really put my trust in.

He didn't think much of it when he felt dizzy and sick and kept coughing on the train ride home, after managing to get all the cures from the alligator hideout. He was so relieved that maybe everything would be okay again. Despite the fact that his life was quite busy, it was strange to realize that he never considered the reason why he wasn't an animal in the first place. After all, he tested positive.

War was absolutely sickening, and the way Alli and Gayle shoved him into it was unforgivable. He told himself that while he shot into the crowd of alligators, even if it was a lie. He'd done this to himself the instant he jumped into that train. Maybe that was why the last thing he felt before the alligator bashed his head into the ground one last time was relief.

Unfortunately, the world was determined to keep him alive. Briefly losing his memory was disorienting, and it greatly upset Molly, but he was alive. And at least being alive meant one thing: he could finally, finally revive Molly. His head was still swimming and sick with nightmares when he fervently wrote his note.

Meet me at the first place.

Then Molly told him that her dead brother wasn't the worst memory she had, that something more painful and heartbreaking had once happened to her. It was pretty self-absorbed to immediately assume that she was thinking about that memory, but he was right for once. When light filled his eyes and faded away and he saw the girl that he loved, he realized that he loved this girl even if he had kissed her a billion seconds ago in a universe millions of miles away, in this very moment he had that clarity, and tears filled his eyes because he was alive.

I tested positive. This would happen eventually. I knew it, I knew it, but I never acknowledged it, and now I'm going to die, with Molly staring down at me begging for me to hang on while I hold her dandelions and maybe, maybe finally I'll see mom and dad and maybe I won't have to feel so afraid anymore, but that's not true. I want to live. I want to live so bad it hurts, I've only been back with Molly for a few months, I can't leave. I'm self-centered, I'm a selfish idiot, I know, I know, but please just give me this chance, dear World, give me this chance even though I've wasted all my other ones.

After fighting so hard, Molly was leaving.

It was for the best. She didn't have much choice. But it still burned through his aching chest and muffled head. And after he saw her train leave, he thought that maybe it would be alright. Maybe after fighting so hard, he would get a reward. The chance was small, but it was there. Maybe he could finally rest, and his body relaxed at the simple comfort in that thought. He closed his eyes and told himself My name is Liam and I will be okay on my own.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯