For ages, Sora had known he was Sora and nobody else. Even when his fragile home had disappeared he had kept his identity and sanity.
It wasn't until a year later when he began doubting it.
A Nobody, a boy name Roxas, started the descent. Sora could feel his presence, lonely and sad. It never made him feel good, especially when Roxas decided to get mad for no apparent reason. But Sora kept smiling, kept being Sora. He knew he was himself, and no one could take it away.
But he was wrong.
Another entered his thoughts: a boy who was his exact opposite. Cruel, mocking, and by far the most vile person Sora had ever come across. He was Sora's shadow: whenever Sora did a good deed, he would openly mock his decision and implant the horrid ideas of what could have been done.
Sora hated this newcomer, and wished he would vanish.
Soon, every sunset would send Sora into a black out, and he stopped doing anything remotely kind. He had become a shallow ghost of himself, vacant, withdrawing, and antisocial.
But then a light was shed onto his troubled life. Another boy, bright and caring showed him who he was and who he needed to be. The dark boy vanished, and Roxas became happier. And Sora was finally relieved of his plagued life.
Briefly.
Occasionally he thought his hair was blond. Or was it black? He would wake up vaguely wondering why he wasn't with his master, then question why he thought he had a master in the first place. Sometimes he felt... WRONG in his male body. Whenever he sparred with Riku or Kairi, he would randomly switch in and out of a backhanded grasp or suddenly become weaker. Then there were days when he felt hollow and weak, and took a day off.
As if Roxas and the shadow boy hadn't tainted his sanity enough. He had a feeling the lighter boy didn't mean any harm, but it still damaged his grasp of reality. Where those other ideas came, he had no clue whatsoever.
One day, having had enough, he ran off to his special island. He was grasping Kairi's charm in his hand, which flickered between a hand-made seashell star, to a real star, to a pewter and stained glass star. He couldn't remember which was it's true form. He couldn't remember anything except a vague blur of sunsets, friends, and personalities.
He was shin deep in the waves, staring at the charm that was clenched in his hand.
"Show me the truth!" he yelled at it, feeling tears pour over. It flickered between the three shapes again, offering no answer.
He tried throwing it into the ocean, but he found that he couldn't. What would A- Kairi, what would Kairi think? Frustrated, Sora collapsed into the ocean. Gosh, you're such a wimp. Breaking down over a fuzzy memory.
It's not just some fuzzy memory! It's my ENTIRE LIFE!
Sora wanted to scream: the shadowy boy was back. And then the others joined him in a cacophonous melding of voices. SHUT UP!SHUTUPSHUTUP SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!
"Please! Stop!" he whimpered.
Sora was gripping his head now, trying to focus on the soothing waves that wrapped around him.
"Sora...?" it was a miracle that he heard Kairi's voice through all the clamor in his head. He thrust his charm out to her "What does this look like?" he demanded.
Kairi, vaguely disturbed, asked "It's my charm, right?"
"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?" Sora demanded again even louder.
"S-seashells..." Kairi said weakly, terrified by Sora's behavior.
Sora looked at it. "Seashells... not glass or anything?" Kairi nodded, seeing the pain and confusion in Sora's eyes. "Seashells... should have known..." he whispered weakly, seeing Kairi's charm flicker away from the pewter and glass Wayfinder to the trinket she had so lovingly crafted for him. "I should have remembered..."
"Sora are you okay?" Kairi sat next to Sora in the lukewarm water and touched his shoulder. He instantly hissed and slapped it away "Don't touch me you little slut!"
Kairi instantly snapped back "What did you just call me?!"
Sora glared at her with cold, golden eyes "I said 'Don't touch me you little slut'. Is that clear enough? Or do you need me to spell it out for you?" he sounded sarcastic, annoyed, bitter.
Kairi slapped him.
Suddenly Sora's eyes became blue, but they were vaguely... different. "I-I'm sorry!" he said hurriedly, quickly grabbing Kairi's hands "That wasn't Sora's fault!"
Then his eyes became cold blue "Of course, it was the candy man instead."
Then a shade of indigo that matched hers "Please, you're confusing her!" oddly, his voice became a cracking falsetto.
His eyes were golden again, and he smiled "Ah ignore them." he edged a little closer "They're just goody-two-shoes. Besides, you like bad boys, right?" he was leaning in uncomfortably close, and the grip on her wrists was inescapable. "Well, I can still show you a little fun." Kairi realised what he was about to do and tried desperately to back away.
Suddenly he stopped, his eyes becoming blue. SORA blue. He blinked, then scrambled away crying "Oh God what was I going to do?!" He looked lost, confused, regretful.
"Sora it doesn't-"
Sora shook his head and dashed past her. He didn't say anything, his voice only letting out choked sobs. Kairi followed immediately, yelling for him to stop.
She eventually caught up, finding him in their secret hollow. He was crouched at the far end, looking like he was scratching at something on the wall. It was their drawing.
"No, I can't! Not when HE'S going to try those things!" He said, arguing with himself.
"Sora, we can keep him in check-"
"No, I won't risk Kairi getting hurt like that!"
"Calm down! Do you realize what you're trying to destroy?!"
"No, I can't be with Kairi! I can't...! I can't...! I-" Sora turned around, finding Kairi right behind him. He pressed himself against the wall saying "Get away from me!" his eyes were wide and panicked, full of dementia.
Kairi took a step forward, but Sora brought forth his Keyblade, shakily pointing it at her "Get away from me! I'm serious Kairi!" he was starting to cry.
Kairi looked at their drawing on the wall, now slightly tainted by blood. She felt her stomach heave at the thought of Sora being scared and hurt enough to try and scratch away the drawing to the point where his hands bled.
She took another brave step forward "I can help."
Sora only thrusted his Keyblade at her saying again "I-I'm not afraid to use violence to get you away!"
He then let it drop, and buckled into a sobbing mess "What is wrong with me?!"
Kairi knelt next to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders "Shh..." Sora leaned into her, continually asking who he was, what was this place, who she and Riku were. He had lost himself in memories of others hearts, as Namine explained in the back of Kairi's mind.
Kairi gently brushed his hair, softly answering his questions, and letting her light flow through his heart, flow through his memories.
Slowly, but steadily, Sora quieted. He then whispered softly
"Thank you, Kairi..."
Re-wrote to include Xion and have a better ending.
