This story is the final part after Your Heart Still in It in the I Have Loved You Wrong series. It's all one big story that I've broken up into manageable chunks. Thank you for all your patience as I try to put into words what I've imagined for so long.

Chapter 1: Never Have to Fade

Angel clutched the passenger door. "I don't think this was such a great idea."

Buffy looked away from the road. "Do you trust me?"

"With my life," he gulped, "- not my car."

"Are you saying this car is more valuable than you?"

"Much."

"Calm down." She weaved passed another car on the freeway. "I know how to drive."

"No, you don't." His knuckles paled. "which is why you're supposedly allowing me to teach you."

"I thought I was here to help you kill time before your meet with Gunn."

"Let's hope that's the only thing you kill today."

Cars honked as she changed lanes without signaling. "We both were getting tired of the beach stroll, swinging bench routine."

Feeling his stomach roll, he shrugged. "I'm trying to wean myself off the brooding."

"This environment is certainly not conducive to brood face."

"Slow down."

"You like going fast - it's why you bought a convertible: so you could feel the speed."

"Were you always this big of pain in the - Buffy look out!"

She pulled the emergency brakes and swung around so the car faced the other direction.

The highway was completely empty.

He looked over to find her watching him. "You're never going to stop loving me." Her toneless voice said it like a fact.

He huffed, "God knows why."

She smirked. "I do too."

"And why's that?"

"Because I-"

Angel woke up with a start to the sound of screaming. He sat up off the couch and categorized the sounds as non-emergency. It signaled merely an escalation of teenage bickering. Wiping his eyes, he stood up and stretched looking around the office mindlessly.

His eyes caught on a photo. It sat framed on one of the bookcase shelves. He scanned the surrounding books and knickknacks unable to tell which blonde had gathered them.

Stepping closer, he focused on the group photo. It looked older and the familiar faces looked happy.

"It hurts to see sometimes," Lilly said from the doorway. "But I can't bring myself to put it away."

He didn't turn around. "Must be special; it's the only photo here."

"For a lot of them, it's the only photo we have."

He reached out and touched the glass. "Her wedding?"

"The reception." Lilly came to stand beside him. "We had it in the backyard, the ceremony too."

Buffy's knee length dress and Lindsey's lack of tie told him it had been a casual event.

"Who are the men?"

Lilly squinted at the faces. "Lindsey's brothers, the mechanic and the minister. One was the best man and the other married them." She smiled slightly. "Anne and Linds looked forward to moving closer, raising families together. "

"She didn't keep in touch." It wasn't a question.

Lilly scowled, "You think his bosses leave loose ends like that?

"No." Surveying the photo, he pointed to another face. "Is that Gunn's sister?"

"Alanna." Lilly nodded at the happy girl and boy in the photo. "She was a bridesmaid; Sunny was a groomsman. That's the happiest I ever saw them." The pair wore big goofy grins. "It really was a perfect day. Just what a wedding should be, you know? Everyone you love coming together." She wiped her face to keep from crying. "It's just me and Gunn now."

Stepping back, his tone turned defensive, "He asked me to meet him here."

She nodded emotionally. "There's something a few blocks away. He's just driving Hannah back from her community service."

"We'll take care of it."

She turned back to the door.

"Lilly," He met her eyes. "At least you and Gunn have each other."

"You lose enough people and you stop thinking in forevers." She fiddled with her necklace. " Gunn and I get that whatever we're doing has an expiration date."

"That's the dark side of immortality: you can't enjoy anything without predicting its destruction."

She looked passed him to the picture of smiling faces. "That was such a good day. I like to think that somewhere it's still happening." Her face scrunched and twitched in an effort to hold back tears. "At least in the picture, the smiles never have to fade."

They both stared at the photo a moment longer.

Shaking her head, she took in a calming breath. "Let me know if you need anything."

She left him alone with a piece of Buffy's past. He didn't know whether to feel grateful or hurt. Buffy had never smiled at him the way she smiled in the photo, and wherever she was, she'd lost any reason to smile.

One of the reasons he loved her, though, was because no matter how much she lost, she still found things to hold on to. Wherever she was, he hoped she'd found a reason to smile again.

By the time he returned to home, morning had started lightening the sky. Opening the hotel's front door, Angel walked under an engraved sign:

Sanctuary Shelter

No One Belongs, but Everyone's Welcome.

Walking further into the lobby, he heard quiet laughter from the kitchen. Most of the kids were asleep but there were some early birds in the bunch. Angel passed Wesley and Fred by the front desk. From her blush, he assumed flirting was going on. Angel picked up the sign in sheet.

Wesley straightened, "Everything go alright with Gunn?"

"Easy job." The kids' names were written next to the time the time they came in last night.

Seeing him, Fred startled, "Angel, I didn't see there. Did you use the sewers again? Because I didn't hear a peep of entering noise."

"Used the front doors Fred."

She blushed again. "Right, because you like that now -normal ways and all." She watched him frown. "Indeedy, Dan came in late again."

He nodded. It didn't surprise him. Dan had been pushing the limits a lot lately. Wesley took the duffel bag of weapons from him. "I'll lock these up."

As Wes walked away, Fred jumped, "Oh! and you have a visitor. Your fighting friend? Wesley doesn't like her but said it was alright that I let her wait in the yard." Fred followed him across the lobby. "At first, I was scared by the stake in her pocket, but I figured the kids couldn't see her there and she really wanted to see you - but not in a 'I-want-to-stake-you' kind of way-"

"Fred," Angel turned to face her and she nearly bumped into him. "It's alright. I understand why Wesley wouldn't want to see her, but I do." He pushed her glasses back up her nose. "I'm glad you let her in." When she nodded, he stepped back. "When Dan wakes up, let him know I want to see him in my office. We'll talk about his chores list and privileges."

She smiled, nodded and walked back to the front desk. Angel turned and headed out to the backyard. Sure enough, small and brunette, his old friend stood with her back to the door.

"Faith?"

Even in all her leathers, the girl managed to move silently. "Sorry big buy, but really good guess." She turned.

"Buffy."

She smiled with such joy. "Angel." She approached him and he stepped forward too. Immediately, she reached up for a tight hug.

Leaning down, he wrapped his arms around her firmly. Breathing her in, he couldn't believe he ever mistook her scent. He pushed his face into her hair where neck met shoulder. Her hand caressed his head and he pressed firm kiss to the crook of her neck.

"I'm glad you're glad to see me." She breathed him in too. "I thought you might be mad at me."

He held all of her warmth more tightly to him. "I'm furious with you. That's the cruelest thing you've ever done."

Closing her eyes, she savored his touch. "I missed you too - so much."

Without releasing her, he stepped back. "Are you okay? Are you here for help with something?"

She shook her head with glassy eyes. "No. I'm good. I had something to take care of in LA, but I couldn't leave without seeing you."

Nodding, he ran her hair through his fingers. "How long were you here?"

"Only a day or so. Faith called me." She lay her hands on his chest. "Spike's chip wasn't working right and she worried it might kill him."

He frowned in confusion. "So she called you."

"Giles and Willow are in England doing watcher things and apparently, Xander hasn't hopped on the Spike wagon." She sighed. "Faith panicked. I told her I'd meet them in LA and called the doctor who operated on my mom. Back then, Wesley said he was so good even the council used him, so I pretended to be Faith's watcher and convinced him to remove Spike's chip." While she talked, Buffy kept staring at different parts of his face as if committing them to memory.

"That still doesn't explain why you look like Faith."

She tensed and stood back. She looked up at the hotel. "I didn't expect this." Voice floated to them from inside. "You took in my kids."

His eyes wouldn't look away from her. "They're important to you."

Her eyes found his. "You're important to me too. I hope you know that."

"You're leaving again."

She nodded, "Now."

The word pierced his chest making everything in him tighten. Even his vision dimmed from the pain. "But you just. . ."

"Like you said, I have responsibilities I can't ignore." She smiled sadly. "You were right."

"Buffy."

Sunlight started to fill the garden. If she took a few steps back she'd be covered in it. She'd go where he couldn't follow.

"I know it was selfish to come here, but it would have been more selfish to stay away. You took such good care of me, you deserve to see me doing well." She held his hand. "And I am. I am doing really well."

He scanned her clear, focused green eyes. "I see that."

She squeezed his hand. "I didn't want you worrying about me." Her eyes looked soft and loving. "When you think of me, remember me like this, okay?"

"I won't forget the leather pants."

She chuckled breathlessly. "Good. That's good."

He chuckled too.

They smiled at each other with a world of love their eyes.

She looked back at the hotel. Through the glass doors, she saw kids getting ready for school. "No one could love me better." She squeezed his hand again. "You deserved more." Her eyes glistened. "I'm sorry I can't give it to you."

The way she said that made him think she was just as sorry for herself as she was for him. She wanted to stay.

"Buffy-" Before he could say more, he felt her pull him down for a kiss.

His whole mind became overwhelmed by the soft hand on his cheek, her body heat warming him, and gentle lips caressing his like silk.

It wasn't until air replaced her body in front of him that he registered what she'd said: a whispered, "Goodbye."

With the same slayer speed she'd used to kiss him, she walked into the sunlight and disappeared around the corner . . . without even a glance back.

My apologies but it might be a little while before I make progress on this. I've just started a new job and it requires a lot of my focus.

In the meantime, I'd love to hear what you think so far - of the story, of the series. Did things happen you didn't want to happen? Did things happen you didn't expect? What did you hate? What did you love?

Reading your reviews inspires me to do better and keep raising the standard on what "better" is.