Hey, it's been awhile.
This will be a small series, maybe two or three chapters long. Originally, I meant to keep it as a one-shot, but it looks like this will be too long for my liking. Or I could just end it here, since I'm lazy and mean.
After the intro, the story splits up into events based from Luka's memories. More for you to know. Sorry some of them are pretty short.
Anyway, scroll on down, and I hope you enjoy this through all of its unoriginality and over-dramatization.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fan fiction.
"Why can't I just forget her?!"
Luka paced around the interior of her large house nervously, the rain pit-pattering deafeningly outside, only making the agitated woman more stressed. She bit her lip, hard enough to draw small beads of blood that she failed to notice, and spoke aloud to the empty hall, her quavering voice echoing off the walls.
"Maybe… maybe I shouldn't have pushed her away like that."
But the ludicrous thought was quickly cast aside and she shook her head vigorously in denial, clamping her clammy hands at the sides.
"No… no. I did the right thing. T-there was nothing else I could've possibly done! Nothing!"
Pause.
"She's gone, and that's all there is to it."
She sat down on her queen-sized bed, not having realized that she had stumbled in her bedroom for the umpteenth time that day, and took a look at her dresser mirror. What reflected from the glass surface was a stranger to Luka. Her eyes were baggy and red from crying so much, usually neat, flowing pink hair now oily and tussled about wildly.
The girl tore her gaze away and kept still, her frenzied thoughts eventually shifting her mind into a day-dream like haze as she recalled those precious memories before she could stop herself, all the way back towards the beginning.
The fateful day of their chanced meeting.
It was raining, and hard.
Luka was on her way home from work, rushing to escape from being soaked while clutching her tiny umbrella over her shoulders, cursing her bad luck for having decided to not bring her car along that evening as well as the lack of available buses around her area. On the crowded sidewalk, numerous others shuffled their way through roughly, the reeking smell of wet clothes, car exhaust, and heavy pants of those who hadn't brushed their teeth poisoning the air. Lights ranging from store displays to lamp posts illuminated the city everywhere beautifully, but the foul weather and generally irritated mood of the public dampened the scenery as if it were an abandoned underground sewer.
After the third shove from the side, almost causing Luka to trip and fall to the pavement, the fed up pinkette decided to call for a taxi, despite her general detest for the over-priced source of transportation. She was now deep into the shoddier, uglier side of the city and knew it wasn't wise to stick around any longer in the current dangerous conditions. Luka squeezed her handbag close to her chest, a sure temptation for no-good pickpockets, and started waving around madly at the edge of the busy street, trying to gain the attention of a cab driver. As minutes fluttered away, the crowd of pedestrians steadily started to decline, leaving Luka truly defenseless, much to her dismay. Paranoia started to set in, but the wonderful sight of a speeding yellow vehicle cleared her head in relief.
The car roughly braked in front of Luka and the driver unlocked the door, but just as she was about to get in, she could barely make out the faintest of whimpers behind her.
What was that?
She turned around, her eyes meeting only the darkness of a small alleyway, littered with trash sopping from the rain. The woman assumed that she must've been just hearing things, but then she spotted a streak of teal on the dirty blacktop, creeping behind the huge form of a dumpster. Just as she was about to investigate-
"Look miss, I don't have all night. You want a ride or not?"
Luka turned back and forth between the impatient driver and the alley, trying to make a decision. The rational part of her urged to just get in the car and return to the warm comforts of her dry home, but for lack of a better phrase, "curiosity killed the cat", and Luka sauntered towards the source of her interest, hearing the gruff driver scoff and drive off, the wheels screeching piercingly as he drove off in search for another potential client.
As she treaded deeper into the depths of the blackness, Luka began having doubts and started to mentally scold her stupidity, until she heard what appeared to be a weak whine.
Could it possibly be an animal? Luka thought, slinking closer and closer to the end of the garbage bin.
"H-hello? Is anyone there?" she timidly asked, her only response being the continuous droplets of water running down her umbrella and onto the pavement.
Her eyes widened as she turned the corner.
What lay sprawled out before her was certainly not what the woman was expecting.
There, covered in filth and scraps of sodden newspaper, was the most pathetic excuse of a young girl Luka had ever laid her eyes upon. The scrawny teen's long teal locks and bruised face were stained with mud. She was poorly dressed in a white blouse that had obviously been worn for a long period of time, the now wet fabric allowing her black bra and skin riddled with welts and goose bumps from the cold exposed to unwanted, prying eyes, and a tattered plaid skirt not nearly long enough to keep the girl's legs shielded from the cold.
As Luka continued to gape in astonishment, the victim's eyes fluttered open, revealing dazzling teal irises that shone brightly within the shadows, alluring Luka to inch closer, and she attempted at a weak, sad smile.
"Uh… hi. Can I help you?"
The girl's croaked high-pitched words dripped with pitiful sorrow that tore apart Luka's heart completely. She got down on her knees, not caring about the freezing, dirty water knifing through her pants, and looked into the tealette's glazed eyes, seeing her own azure pupils reflect within.
In that instant, there appeared to be an exchange of feelings indescribable to Luka, some sort of understanding with the stranger that prompted her to announce:
"You're coming with me."
Without hearing the girl's response, she hoisted her featherweight form on her back, carrying her piggy-back style while clumsily adjusting the umbrella over them. The girl didn't even attempt to protest, and burrowed her shivering face in the nape of Luka's neck, causing goose bumps to awaken on the older woman's pale skin, then heaved a great sigh that didn't go unnoticed. Although Luka was now thoroughly drenched to the bone by the other girl, she didn't have the selfish mindset to care at that point and started the long, miserable trudge home, determined with an unfamiliar passion to get her passenger to refuge.
In her ear, she heard the girl whisper something before shortly falling silent again.
"Thank you."
"S-stop… n-no, I don't want this! Just stop… fucking STOP! Ah-AHHHHHH!"
Luka tore herself away from the reminiscence, screaming to the vacant building to clear her conscience. The neighbors were of little to no concern to her as she just released her pent up emotions and started falling into a fit of uncontrollable tears, her body shaking. But no matter how hard, how loud the weeping woman cried in her bed, fisting the white sheets with painfully white knuckles, the memories were all coming back to her, flooding her mind in an incessant sequence of intense visions portraying the chain of events that had occurred up until now, refusing to let her forget.
Forget her.
"Miku."
"Huh?" Luka sounded with an adorable cock of her head, holding a mug of hot coffee to her pink lips.
She looked at the petite girl currently seated across the glass dining table from her. It had been around a week since Luka had taken the homeless person under her care. During those days, she had made sure to feed her guest small portions of food that increased in amount gradually, so as not to upset the girl's adapting stomach. Now cleaned and dressed in a plain black nightgown most of the time with her long teal hair shining radiantly, Luka realized that it was the first word the girl had spoken since their chance encounter.
The girl looked down, her bangs shielding her eyes, a habit she tended to do nowadays.
"My name… is Miku," she said, the exquisite, almost exotic voice not failing to entrance the older woman.
Luka blinked once, then twice, and set her mug with a gentle clink on the table. Sure, she was glad that the girl had begun communicating again, but she didn't quite know how to respond.
"A-ah, is that so?" the pinkette stuttered, then cleared her throat. "I guess I never did properly introduce myself either, haha."
She propped her elbows upon the table, attempting to look as casual and friendly as possible.
"I'm Luka Megurine, but you can just call me Luka. It's nice to meet you, Miku."
She gave a wide grin, trying to make Miku smile as well, but all the girl did was stare gloomily back, causing Luka to grow uncomfortable under her rigid gaze. Still, she wasn't one to linger in an awkward position, and got up from the table, making her way towards Miku. She pinched and stretched the emotionless girl's now healthy cheeks, and furrowed her eyebrows, playfully explaining, "Geez, I want to see you smile! Expressions are contagious, you know?"
She let go and looked down at Miku's untouched plate of food and sighed.
"Breakfast is also the most important meal of the day. I won't permit any skipping!"
Luka crossed her arms across her chest and closed her eyes, trying to appear as determined and firm as possible, but reopened them at the angelic sound of light giggling.
Miku was laughing softly, a gorgeous smile etching across her fair features, startling tears slowly bubbling from her closed lids. Luka panicked at the sight of her unexpected crying, flailing around while apologizing profusely, only making Miku laugh and cry even harder.
Ever since Luka had taken Miku in, she had started sleeping on her leather couch to let the tealette sleep in her bed, which really wasn't all that bad. Her couch was quite comfortable. But one night, around the second week of Miku's move in, Luka couldn't fall asleep, her mind mulling over what to exactly do with her guest. It didn't look like the girl was going to be leaving any time soon, but whether she was a runaway, lost, or abandoned, Luka still had to find out.
God forbid if the parents had really disowned Miku, but if it came to that, the process obviously hadn't been carried out with the knowledge of others.
It didn't take a second for Luka to decide that if bad did come to worse, she'd take it upon herself to become the young girl's guardian, even though she absolutely despised anything having to do with the court, finding all the legal rules and procedures ridiculously boring. She was currently living well off on her own, and another addition wouldn't make too much of a difference. But education was what the pinkette was especially worried about. Financially, that could easily be hosed down as time passed. She was particularly concerned on how the girl would cope with reentering school; it would be a difficult procedure, reasoning with the principal and school system, having her suddenly transfer, and thus, fitting in.
Luka shook her head.
Bah, I'm getting ahead of myself. I should go to sleep already.
She turned her head the other way, meeting a pair of familiar teal eyes shining under the stream of moonlight from her window. Her heart rate spiked, new bursts of blood furiously pumping through her body, but the woman refrained from opening her mouth to scream since it was so late in the night. After attempting to calm herself by closing her eyes and taking deep breaths through her nose, Luka finally sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Miku! Geez, you scared me! Is there something wrong?" she whispered, her voice permeating the thick silence that polluted throughout the huge house.
As her blue eyes adjusted to the darkness, Luka could see the young girl dressed in her usual black gown with tousled teal hair and a blank expression painted on her face.
I really should get her more clothes to wear, she mused.
"Cold."
The delayed answer was so dreadfully faint, Luka had to make sure she hadn't heard it wrong and sat up, running a hand quickly through her pink locks.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
Miku shuffled her bare feet nervously, speaking a little louder.
"I'm… cold," hugging herself as if to prove her point.
A wave of guilt overwhelmed Luka, as she knew for a fact that the weather was getting colder and all she had given the girl was a thin layer of sleeve-less cloth that cut off right at the knees. She got up and fumbled around blindly, searching for the light switch.
"D-Do you want me to turn on the heater? Or maybe I should have you wear something warmer… with socks."
She suddenly stubbed her toe on the leg of a table, hissing a nearly inaudible curse of pain.
"Lu… ka."
Said woman stiffened and turned back to face Miku instantly.
She… said my name.
"… yes?"
Pause.
"I… want to sleep, with you."
Miku gripped the hem of her dress, pale knuckles bleaching even whiter. She lowered her head, afraid of meeting rejection, but Luka noticed this gesture and smiled. Walking over, she pulled the tealette into a warm hug, then out of maternal impulse, lifted Miku's messy bangs to reveal her forehead and lightly pecked the warm skin.
"Ah!" Miku squeaked, surprised at the unexpected affection.
Luka could see the girl's dainty cheeks colour into a lovely hue of red and felt her heart beat quicker against her own ample chest. She practically died inside, squealing in her thoughts, how cute! On the outside, however, she kept her composure calm and mature.
"Alright."
She broke away and grasped Miku's hand within her own, sluggishly leading the way up the carpeted stairs and down the narrow hall promoting claustrophobia to her large bedroom. Once the two eventually arrived to their destination, Luka immediately sauntered over to her comfy queen-sized bed and got in, shifting away the snowy covers to make room for Miku, who continued to stare, still at the doorway, as if she were uncertain, even though she had been the one to request her innocent wish. Luka tilted her head characteristically, confused at Miku's hasty reluctance, but patted the empty space beside her encouragingly. Slowly, Miku strode to the opposite side of the bed, gradually getting in and lifting the covers higher. It was rather awkward to say the least, both women having moved at the farthest ends of the bed with their backs to each other, as if any closer physical contact would singe and eat away at their skin like poison.
After what seemed like hours, Luka still couldn't manage to fall asleep, and, not expecting an answer back anyway, mumbled mostly to the silence.
"Miku, are you awake?"
Much to her surprise, a muffled hum could be heard. Luka turned over, only to face the other girl's back, curled in a fetal position.
Her back… it's so small and thin. She looks as if she would break with just a touch.
She opened her mouth, but hesitated, not knowing whether she should start pelting the poor girl with questions during this time of the night. Concluding that it appeared Miku wouldn't be getting any sleep sooner than her herself anyway, Luka proceeded with the initial plan.
"Can I ask you a question?"
No response, but Luka pressed on.
"What happened?"
Silence.
"I… don't want to talk about it."
Thinking for a moment and then deciding it was best to leave the matter for now, Luka muttered an apology and shifted again onto her other side, concentrating back to her sleeping.
Gone.
Luka had returned from a quick trip to the grocery store, but the moment she entered her home, a feeling of uneasiness engulfed her body. Quickly setting down her paper bags filled with goods, Luka made her way to the bedroom.
"Miku? Are you sleeping?" she called, a burst of adrenaline kicking in when only silence answered her.
Bursting through the room, she scanned the area, looking under the bed and in the closet. Fear sent her spine trembling, and the woman hastily searched the other rooms of the house. She looked around for any note, any sign that could offer a hint to Miku's whereabouts, but there were none.
She's not supposed to be outdoors… not yet. I haven't even bought her any shoes! Don't tell me…
Luka made her way to the doorstep and saw nothing out of the ordinary. All of her footwear were still there, neatly lined up.
She… did she go barefoot?!
Grabbing her keys and putting on some tennis shoes, the pinkette left the building and ran around blindly, looking for Miku in a hopeless chase. She asked the neighbours, explored downtown, looked in shops and alleyways, but all to no avail. Stopping to rest and catch her breath, for she hadn't worked her body so rigorously before, Luka decided it was best to call the police as night fell. Patting her pocket for her cellphone, she realized in horror that she had left the small device back at home in her frantic search. Groaning at her just peachy predicament, she jogged her way over to the local police department. While climbing the steps to the building, she stopped and happened to overhear a young couple passing by.
"Are you sure we shouldn't report it? That girl could have been lost… she didn't even have any shoes on," spoke a brown-haired girl to her partner, her expression laced with concern as she gripped onto his arm.
The slim boy sighed, sounding as if he had repeated it many times.
"I already told you, didn't I? I tried talking to her but she clearly didn't want to say anything let alone look at me. She's probably some emo kid who ran away from home. I'm sure her parents will find her soon enough."
Knowing that the mentioned girl could possibly be Miku, Luka stepped down to the sidewalk and confronted the two young adults. Learning that the girl had long teal hair was enough for Luka to confirm her identity, and after explaining that she was her guardian looking for Miku, the boy pointed the way to a playground in a small park. Once thanking the two for their help, Luka sprinted towards her destination.
By the time she got there, the moon was up and its soothing light was her only companion. Dead brown leaves crunched under her trudges with every step and a passing chilly breeze only reminded her that she had to find Miku and bring her home fast. She scanned the playground, looking through tunnels and behind slides.
Not here.
She continued to walk around some more. The swing-set was vacant and the sandbox void.
Not here.
Shoving her hands in her pockets, Luka tried her best to stay calm but could feel tears threatening to spill from her eyes. It wasn't until she saw a certain figure sitting on a bench that she felt a warm rush of relief and cautiously walked over.
Luka sat down besides the tealette who hadn't looked up despite knowing the newcomer. The two women sat in silence, with Luka mainly trying to come up with something, anything to say. Her jumbled thoughts were interrupted by Miku, who glanced longingly into the night.
"The moon sure is beautiful."
Luka looked up as well and couldn't help but agree with a faint hum.
"Is that why you're here?" Luka inquired.
She looked at Miku, who simply enjoyed basking in the moonlight. The young girl seemed to furrow her eyebrows for a bit at the question, but nodded. Her response was a bit too strange for Luka's liking. The pinkette narrowed her eyes and stated rather than questioned:
"You're lying."
At this, Miku finally turned to face Luka with a grim smile and chuckled bitterly.
"So what if I am?"
Giving an exasperated huff, Luka took off her thin jacket and wrapped it around the younger girl's exposed shoulders. She then practically forced the younger girl to move closer and coaxed her into resting on her lap, to which Miku resisted out of embarrassment at first, but then slowly began to relax. Luka's familiar scent and soothing warmth clouded her mind until she felt completely safe. They stayed like that for a while, with Miku nearly dozing off until she felt warm and wet droplets fall on her face.
She looked up, eyes widening as she realized that Luka was crying.
"Luka… w-wha-"
"I was worried sick, Miku!"
The tealette sat up as Luka momentarily paused, trying but failing to even out her quavering voice.
"You just s-suddenly disappeared and when I looked for you, I thought I had lost you for good! Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong for you to hate me? I-I…" Luka hiccuped, her hands covering her tear-streaked face.
Miku just stared on in disbelief.
How can she think that this is her fault?
Unsure of what to do, as she never found herself to be the comforting-type, Miku awkwardly wrapped her arms around Luka.
"Don't cry. Please, don't cry Luka. It wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything. I-I was just being stupid and selfish. So please… don't cry."
Attempting to stop her tears and quiet her sniffles, Luka wiped her eyes with her sleeve.
"Selfish? What do you mean? Why did you just… leave?"
The growing blush on Miku's face didn't go unnoticed by Luka, and the flustered teenager tried to snuggle into the older woman's chest to hide her face.
"I-I know this may sound childish but… I just thought you didn't really care about me for some reason. I somehow thought that if I ran away and you didn't find me, it would mean I meant nothing to you. It's seriously stupid now that I think about it… but it makes me happy that you were worried about me. I'm sorry for being such a spoiled brat. I'm sorry."
It was Miku's turn to start crying, her grip on Luka tightening as she repeated her apology over and over. Processing what she had heard, Luka pat her head and murmured, "It's okay," to the sobbing girl, just happy that she hadn't left because of her.
When Miku had finally stopped her tears, the two got up from the bench to make their way home, Luka insisting that she carry Miku since she still didn't have any shoes. They moved forward towards home a few steps, but when Luka stopped to gaze at the sky again, her companion asked what was keeping her.
The pinkette started giggling suddenly, leaving Miku greatly confused.
"Why are you laughing?"
Luka turned to her and smiled, explaining, "You know, I just realized something. In Japanese, there was a man who translated 'The moon sure is beautiful' to 'I love you'. So in a way, weren't you just confessing to me, Miku?"
She started laughing more as yet another rising blush completely took over the younger girl's face with her mouth agape.
"G-Geez Luka! Don't go over-analyzing things! I'm going home by myself," Miku stammered then huffed, making her point by squirming to get off.
But Luka held on tight, unable to stop laughing at Miku's reaction.
After that night, the walls surrounding Miku's well-protected heart and mind lowered, just a little.
"Luuuuuuka~," called Miku happily, pouncing on the oblivious woman's back, causing her to stumble at the unexpected weight.
The innocent gesture of playfulness drew quite the attention from those passing by, making Luka blush from embarrassment and quietly chastise her companion. They were walking around an aquarium serving as just one of the many exhibits portrayed within the amusement park the duo was presently at.
Miku pouted, hooking her arm with Luka's.
"I was busy looking at the stingrays and then you were just gone! Sheesh... I was really worried, you know."
Luka smiled and patted Miku's head, stroking her silky twin-tails while mumbling a quick apology as the two continued with their tour, now hand in hand.
Luka and Miku exhaled harshly in the crisp, frosty air, competing to make their warm breath more noticeable than the other's. Both girls sported heavy winter coats, jeans, boots, and scarves as the weather had become colder. They decided to explore the wonders of the city in its full glory during the evening, beautiful lights painting the darkening skies, after having watched a movie at the theatres, window-shopping and bringing up random topics of discussion to kill time.
The two stopped to gaze upon a neat row of delectable looking cakes and pastries lined up on display in a fancy bakery, Miku drooling over a particular chocolate and strawberry combination. Luka laughed at the faces the tealette kept pulling, knowing she was indirectly begging her to purchase one of the luxurious desserts.
Deciding to tease her young friend, Luka slyly drawled, "Maybe I'll buy you one… after you tell me how much you want it."
She smirked as she saw Miku's face become desperate, and the teenager started to bounce up and down, chanting "Please!" over and over without actually fulfilling Luka's request. Miku then deliberately made her best puppy-dog face she could muster, and that's when Luka just had to give in.
Laughing and turning back to the window, she pulled out her wallet to see if she had enough, then asked, "Which one did you want again?"
The pinkette stopped counting out her bills when she didn't receive an answer. Luka looked around to see what was keeping Miku so silent, only to find the girl staring at a couple near the shop display next door who were arguing intensely, creating an enormous scene that looked as if it would get out of hand very soon.
"Miku," Luka said, trying to get the girl's attention away from the sight, but the tealette wouldn't reply.
Now the man and woman had begun shrieking vehement words in each other's strained faces, spittle flying and tensions breaking, while Luka could see Miku cower and shrink away. Worried, the pink-haired woman grabbed her friend's icy palm and forced her to turn around to face her. Miku appeared to be on the verge of tears and she suddenly hugged the taller girl, burying her face against her chest.
"I-I don't feel like sweets anymore," she muttered, a noticeable tremble rippling through her statement.
Luka frowned and returned the embrace, trying her best to comfort the girl.
"… let's go home," she sighed, kissing the top of Miku's head lovingly.
The door to the house creaked open, Luka stumbling in tiredly, having just returned from a particularly long day of work.
"I'm back," she announced.
Not too long after, she heard the soft padding of footsteps, announcing the teal-haired girl's presence. Miku's sleepy face appeared as she plodded down the stairs, rubbing her eyes with a yawn, and then responded with a "Welcome home."
Luka set her work bag on the sofa and laid down, stretching her aching limbs, then inquired, "Have you been studying hard?"
Miku nodded and strolled towards the kitchen, preparing to heat up her pre-made dinner for the two. Despite her exhaustion, the pinkette made her way over to the marble counter and watched the girl switch the knob to turn on the gas heater, tiny blue flames sparking brilliantly.
She thought for a while and then pestered, "You don't have to wait for me to eat, let alone make anything. Studying should be your first priority. Remember that if you want to transfer directly into the last year of high school, you have to pass the entrance exam flawlessly."
Miku rolled her eyes, reaching for a large, stainless-steel pan and setting it on the blazing stove. As she bent down to retrieve a jug of cooking oil in a wooden cabinet, she retorted with much sass, "I say that you shouldn't worry about it."
Luka propped her elbows to rest her chin and pouted, making sure that the younger girl could see once she had begun pouring a thin circle of the thick yellow oil onto the pan.
"As your legal guardian, I'd only find it necessary to worry about every little thing, especially for an idiot as dumb as you."
Miku let out a sarcastic snort, making a move to return the jug back.
"If you haven't noticed Miss Worrywart, I'm doing fine catching up on most of the stuff that I missed out on, and on the topic of dinner, the least I can do for you is having something prepared."
She started mixing the oil around the surface of the pan.
"Plus, it gets kind of… lonely when I eat by myself, you know?"
Luka smiled upon the girl fondly, appreciating the rather blunt admission, then swiftly circled the counter to enter the kitchen and proceeded to wash her hands in the sink.
"How can I help?"
"NO!"
Luka jolted wide awake at the bone-chilling scream and flipped the light switch, only to see the younger girl violently thrashing around underneath the covers of their shared bed while producing loud, garbled noises. She immediately went to her side, grabbing the tealette by the shoulders and shaking her harshly to wake her, but Miku started to react and fight back instinctively, sobbing "Don't hurt me! Please!" The young teenager's sealed eyes were twitching madly in all directions, her body drenched with sweat and breathing irregular.
At that point Luka started to panic, and without any better idea in the heat of the moment, reluctantly struck Miku hard across the face, leaving a sickening red mark on her cheek but effectively rousing the girl to consciousness. Vibrant teal eyes brimmed with tears met wild, concerned blue ones, and Miku sat up, squeezing Luka with all her might. Shocked and scared, Luka simply hugged the frail form trembling against her, whispering soothing, unintelligible words.
That night, all Miku would do was whimper, "Please don't leave me, please don't leave me. Luka… Luka," before eventually crying herself to sleep. Long after the girl had managed to doze off, Luka kept cradling the person she came to care for so much in the past months of meeting the mysterious girl, her own tears leaving more stains in the sheets than Miku had left, until she too had drove herself into a dreamless sleep.
But the incident didn't stop there.
To Luka's disappointment, Miku's episodes began to occur more and more often, even after she had successfully started attending high school again. Apparently, according to a few reports from the school staff and nurse, Miku suffered from many convulsions during classes, making it even harder for the poor girl to fit in and make new friends.
The tension and stress built up until one evening, the two women engaged in their first serious argument during dinner. Luka, out of her great concern for Miku's health and social life, had suggested hiring a psychiatrist or perhaps having Miku attend regular therapeutic sessions, to which Miku instantly started yelling in defiance, clattering the silverware violently on her plate.
"You think I'm crazy, don't you? I don't need some type of shrink working on me!" Her voice was frantic, but loud and stubborn.
Surprised at her outburst, Luka tried to gently reason with Miku, attempting to sound calm and sweet. But this only produced a phony tone that just happened to sicken the young teenager even more.
"That's not what this is about. I just think that you should start getting some profess-"
"Shut up!" Miku slammed her hands on the table, standing up rebelliously.
Hurt and angry, Luka lost her usual abiding patience, her smile quickly replacing with a frown, and ordered with sudden icy words that sliced through the air.
"Sit down, Miku."
"No," instantaneously came the equally steely reply.
Luka sighed, clearly frustrated, and pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand while closing her eyes. "Look, you're acting like an immature brat! Why can't you just trust me and accept that-"
The tealette childishly covered her ears, yelling aloud at the top of her voice to drown out Luka. The said woman had had enough and stood up to roughly grab Miku's hands, trying to pry them off her ears, but the girl flailed around, inadvertently shoving Luka back hard. The woman collided into the corner of the table and, stumbling to the ground, causing a glass cup to fall and shatter, breaking the skin around Luka's right hand when it happened to fall on the fragments. Luka only winced at this, as the wounds were minor and bled little, but Miku stood still and stared in horror at what she had just done. She started crying, not knowing what to do, and fell to her knees, accidentally cutting her own skin in the process by the broken shards on the floor, begging Luka not to hate her, apologizing sincerely over and over, like a broken record.
It took only an hour or two for the older woman to reassure the girl that all was fine and forgiven after she had patched up the cuts on both of their bodies, but it took weeks for Miku to recover from the period of guilt and shame she had fallen into after the incident.
Miku arrived home after school one day, setting her schoolbag aside. When she entered the living room, she was surprised to see Luka asleep on the couch, the television muted but still blaring annoying commercials trying to sell ridiculous products for equally ridiculous prices on the screen. Usually, her guardian was at work during this hour, but it was still a pleasant surprise.
She waltzed her way across the room and sat down, watching the pink-haired woman snooze peacefully. What the tealette didn't know was that Luka was merely pretending to be asleep, attempting to wait and give her friend a good scare. Nonetheless, Miku started to run her fingers through Luka's long, soft locks, then picked up her right hand resting on her stomach. She slowly caressed the skin, deep in thought. Luka was about to giggle at the ticklish feeling and give away her cover, until she felt a pair of delicate, warm lips kiss her knuckles.
She jerked upright with a yelp at the seemingly scorching sensation, giving Miku quite a fright as the high school student shrieked and fell back.
The two stared at one another in utter silence until Luka eventually blushed then stuttered, "W-what were you exactly doing j-just now?"
The tealette began to mirror Luka's blush as well, but then turned away with a solemn expression.
"I was just… feeling guilty… about… what had happened that time."
The older woman relaxed and attempted to calm her racing heart, keeping her breath slow and steady, but to no avail as her anxiety showed through her talking.
"A-ah, well, I already said that it was an accident. S-so you should stop worrying about it already!" She gave a nervous chuckle, holding her hand protectively over the affected other that felt as if it had been burned. The pinkette had no idea what she was getting so worked up about. She knew that Miku wasn't lying, and she herself had kissed Miku on the forehead countless times.
Then… why couldn't she stop blushing?
Seeing how tense Luka still was, Miku attempted to change the subject to lighten the mood.
"Um, anyway, what are you doing home so early?" She fiddled with her fingers, finding sudden interest in the white wall past Luka's visage.
Acknowledging the teen's attempt, Luka sighed and told herself that she had better revert back to normal. She gave her best smile, explaining, "I just got my work finished earlier than expected, so… here I am."
"Oh... I see. That's good!" Miku exclaimed.
The conversation was sort of forced from that point on, both women unsure of what had just happened.
One evening, it occurred to Luka that, although the two of them had lived with each other for nearly a year, they never knew nor celebrated each other's birthday. Luka didn't really care about her own birthday, shrugging the fated day off whenever it happened to roll on by. But Miku was still young and probably conscious of such things, or so she had reasoned.
After dinner, while the duo was sitting on the couch watching some T.V., Luka decided to bring the subject up, temporarily turning down the volume of the television considerably, causing Miku to turn away and stare at her in question.
"Miku, if you don't mind me asking, when is your birthday?"
The tealette didn't answer for a bit, but then started scratching her head sheepishly and answered.
"August 31st."
Luka stood up, incredulous at the information while taking out her phone to check the date.
"What? But-but that's today, Miku! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Miku returned the gaze and countered, "The same reason as you."
Silent, Luka considered the girl's answer and noted that it was pretty clever. She scooted closer to the teen.
"Well, my birthday is on the 30th of January. Now that we're even, we have to celebrate!"
She looked at the time, disappointed to see that it was around 8 PM, much too late for most stores to be open on a weekday.
"Ah, sorry, but do you have a particular present you want that I can get for you, perhaps tomorrow?" She anxiously waited for an answer, only to watch Miku's face turn scarlet.
The young girl remained unresponsive, simply turning redder in the face, but then she seemed to gain confidence out of nowhere, facing Luka straight on and clutching her hands in hers tightly.
"There is something I want that you can give to me right now," she announced.
Luka cocked her head, clueless as to what it could possibly be.
"What's that?"
She observed Miku appear to become nervous again.
"Could you close your eyes, please?"
Luka obeyed without a second's hesitation, lightheartedly thinking that it was probably some kind of silly prank the tealette wanted to play on her. But that innocent delusion shattered as the older woman felt tiny, tender lips meet her own. Luka stiffened and opened her eyes, shocked to see that Miku was actually kissing her. Before she could even fully comprehend what was happening, Miku pulled away and broke down, trembling at the sight of Luka's shocked face.
"I-I don't know what I'm doing. I thought that I could take the risk… but the thought of losing you forever scares me so much more! L-Luka… I'm so sorry. This is why I was beat up. This is why I was kicked out by my parents. This is why I was alone with no one to help me!"
She ducked her head, clenching her hands as tears trickled down onto her lap.
"And now… now it hurts too much to keep being with you like this! I-I don't want to exploit you and your kindness! I don't want to twist this friendship you tried so hard to create with me! I don't want to taint your life with my dirty, perverted presence any longer!"
Miku scooted to the farther end and with grief, confessed.
"I love you."
Luka didn't know what to say let alone do as she watched this stranger she thought she had known fairly well open up and admit everything that had led up to Miku's complicated situation in the first place. As she simply watched Miku hide her face and hug her knees sobbing, Luka questioned her own feelings towards the girl.
She definitely liked Miku, but seeing her as a potential lover had never crossed her mind even once before. The fact that Miku was a girl didn't bother her one bit, but she had always thought herself attracted to men. Still… as she began to think more and more, she definitely felt closer to Miku and cared about her more than any boyfriend she had ever been with.
But as the adult here, I have to think about this logically and with responsibility, Luka reminded herself. I'm not certain if I feel the same way about her, and dating her out of pity or half-baked feelings is worse than refusing her. Even if we did start going out with each other, the idea of two girls being together is shunned by the world, and Miku would suffer and end up as a bigger outcast from society.
Eyes closed.
No matter how you look at it, if I truly love her, I can't possibly accept.
Eyes opened.
"… Miku."
At the sound of her name, said girl tensed up considerably but refused to answer or face Luka. She was afraid, afraid that she'd see disappointment, anger, or worse, disgust. A look that was all too familiar to her, expressions she never wanted to experience again, especially from Luka.
She hates me, I just know it. She's going to hit me, kick me out; say that she never wants to see my fucking face again. Even Luka is a normal person; I'm sure she's shocked having lived with a lesbian under the same roof.
Why did I even tell her? I knew history would repeat itself… and yet I went ahead and ruined our relationship.
The one thing that saved me. The one connection that healed me. The one person who became my true friend.
My first love.
I was content just to be by your side at first… but something kept telling me I had a chance.
How could I be so stupid?
"Miku, look at me… please?"
Miku reluctantly raised her head, revealing red puffy eyes and wet cheeks. When she saw Luka's magnificent eyes, the very same ones that pulled her in at their first meeting and allowed her to trust her instantly, all she could feel was the immense love she garnered towards the pink-haired woman. But as those eyes softened, paired with a sad smile, Miku knew what was to come next.
"I appreciate your feelings, I don't see you any differently from before, and I love you too… but only as a friend."
Luka leaned over and hugged Miku's small frame.
"I'm sorry, but I'm sure you will find that special someone who loves you too. You just have to keep searching. I will always be here to support you, so please…"
Miku hugged Luka back as tightly as she could, burying her face into her chest as more fresh tears spilled out. She was glad, glad that Luka accepted her for who she was. Glad that she didn't push her away and abandon her like her own flesh and blood had done. And yet-
"… let's just be friends."
She couldn't have been more miserable in her life.