Hey everyone! Thanks for checking out my first fic! It's kind of silly thing that I'm just having fun with so if you have any ideas or suggestions, please feel free to share! I'm not going through in depth decriptions of every character because I'm fairly certain that most people know them all, but if you want me to clarify on anything, or you're not familiar with a certain character, just ask and I'll do my best.

What would happen if all our favorite fictional characters got together? Let's find out- Enjoy! Please let me know what you think so far!

xxx

Prologue

~Bella~

I rolled my eyes when Alice danced off with my suitcase full of mysterious items I wasn't allowed to see until we got to our surprise destination. I loathe surprises. Why she and Edward got to be in on absolutely everything and I got nothing was anybody's guess. If I heard the words "it's a surprise!" one more time, I would be in serious danger of fucking somebody's shit up. Probably my own seeing as how I'm the only human in this crowd of rock hard vamps. There's no point in arguing. I sighed. I am so fucked. Speaking of fucked, I wonder if Edward, The Super Virgin, plans on….oh this might not be a bad surprise after all, I think as I let my thoughts drift to much, much happier places.

~Sookie~

"Bill, where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise," he says seductively as he carries my bags out to the rental car.

I follow hastily behind. "Bill Compton, I don't think I can handle anymore of your surprises right now. You slept with Lorena, almost ate me, I found out you have a hidden file on me and my family and then you tell me I have fairy blood. I am done with your surprises."I cock my brow in challenge and realize that I'm standing with my hands placed quite haughtily on my hips just waiting for Bill's reply. Unlike that Bella chick, I am no pushover.

Bill stared guiltily at the ground outside my house for a moment before he looked up readying himself to speak. Unfortunately- or fortunately…whichever- Eric Northman chose that exact moment to fly in with Pam. My heart stuttered a bit and while I tried not to let the effect he had on me show in front of Bill (and most of all, Eric himself), they've both had my blood and I theirs so it was a wasted effort. Eric walked up my moonlit driveway looking like the picture of sex with a slight smile on his face- obviously delighted with my reluctant pleasure at seeing him.

"You and Sookie taking a trip, Bill?" Eric asked while continuing to stare at me like I was the most delicious thing on Earth.

"Bill was just about to tell me where we're going," I said, feigning indifference. I started to turn back to Bill, but Eric interrupted when he handed the two of us tickets with the words "Phantom Cruise" written in bold purple letters across the top. "Plans have changed. We're going here."

I was furious. "I'm not doing another job for you. Eric! After everything, I think I deserve a little break from your vampire bullshit!" Eric continued to look just as calm as ever while I ranted on for a good five minutes about why I wouldn't do whatever it was he wanted me to do now. Bill looked disappointed when I finally shut my mouth long enough for Eric to tell me it wasn't a job; it was a gift. He still owed me for some work I'd done for him previously and he was giving Bill and I a vacation. On a cruise for supes. Alone…mostly.

"You didn't think I'd miss all the fun did you?" he asked smoothly. I scowled on the outside while my insides tied into anticipatory knots. Eric and his ulterior motives.

~Elena~

"There's a cruise for vampires?" I asked Stefan incredulously.

He smiled his most devastating smile and explained that it's not just for vampires. "It's for all supernaturals. And their guests, of course." He gives me his romance novel stare- you know, the one that creates a small pool in my panties. As badly as I wanted to go, I almost didn't agree. It doesn't seem like there's anywhere Stefan and I can go to escape all the Mystic Falls drama.

Or Damon.

Speak of the devil. "Did I just hear the word 'cruise'?" Damon asks as he saunters in while buttoning his usual black shirt.

"Yes. Elena and I are going. Alone."

Damon narrows his eyes, smirks at Stefan and I just know there's some snappy retort coming. "Not too many puppies or bunnies on the phantom is there?" He didn't give Stefan time to respond before he turned his attention my way, tossing me an ornate silver key. "If you actually want to have some fun, you're always welcome in my cabin."

Of course Damon is going. See what I mean?

I shrug it off, laying the key down on the table next to me while Stefan glares daggers in the back of his brother's head. Damon starts to take his leave and nods his head in my direction while making those sexy, flirty eyes of his. "Elena." I'd swoon if I wasn't strictly team Stefan. He turns to Stefan and makes a deep, exaggerated bow. "Sir Broods-A-Lot" And just like that, he was out the door on his way to break some poor, unsuspecting girl's heart.

Or at the very least, her jugular.

~Jacob~

F my life.

Seriously. I eyed the ticket with disdain. Billy and Sam were sending me on some bloodsucker cruise just so I could keep tabs on Bella. As if she hasn't stomped on my heart enough, I have to hop on a big ass boat with her and that leech for four solid weeks. Four weeks! Smelling that awful stench and watching my girl kiss a dead guy.

Like I said- F my life.

~Emmett~

"Emmett, Bella is on her way over. Don't you dare breathe a word about the cruise. Edward wants to be the one to tell her," Carlisle warned me.

"Sure thing," I grinned at my adopted father. I just want to be there when he does so I can see her face turn red and get all indignant and shit. If anybody can get mad about being given a four week vacation on a cruise, it's Bella.

A cruise….I smile just thinking about it. Rose looks so effing hot in a bikini.

~Edward~

"Okay, love…don't get mad," I caution as I back away. If Bella hits me, she'll hurt herself and then she won't have any fun out on the ocean.

"Just spit it out, Edward," she nearly growls at me.

This beautiful, fragile kitten thinks she's a tiger. It's so amazingly adorable that I have to chuckle along with Emmett who is currently having his own bouts with laughter. Seeing my crooked smile makes Bella's heart rate increase audibly and I can see she's softening a little. She stormed in my room only a few seconds ago and demanded that I tell her where we're going. After debating for a while, I decided it would be better to prepare her beforehand if she was going to get so worked up about the matter. She'd be the one and only eighteen year old girl on the face of the planet to have a stroke or heart attack or ridiculously high blood pressure over this. Any number of things could happen to her, breakable as she is. Carlisle warned me before she showed up and suddenly we had an audience. The thought of her angry, red face storming into my room made me snicker under my breath.

"We're going on a cruise," I told her calmly, clearly amused at her and quite happy with myself.

Bella's eyes widen to the size of saucers, her breathing becomes fast and labored as she shouts, "are you insane! We can't go on a cruise! Whatever happened to living inconspicuously among humans? You don't think they'll notice that you sparkle!"

"There aren't going to be any humans on this cruise, love. Except for maybe you, of course." I couldn't help it- I laughed at her expression. I could tell she didn't understand and what human would really? None of them have any idea that the supernatural community has their own cruise line or that there even is a supernatural community for that matter. I explained and once she gathered that we wouldn't be stuck inside all day and I'd be with her every second, she started to relax. I could tell she was still nervous, but now that it was no longer a surprise, I had faith that she would become accustomed to the idea long before we got to the boarding point.

That is, as long as I don't tell her about the dance.

~Alice~

"It'll be coming up in exactly three minutes and forty-two seconds." I opened my eyes to look around at the excited faces of my family. Everyone looked eager and ecstatic- everyone except for Bella.

What is with this girl? I thought exasperatedly.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked her gently.

Still holding Edward's hand, she leaned her head on my shoulder and sighed. "There's going to be all kinds of supernatural creatures on this ship. All of them faster, stronger and a thousand times more interesting than me. Why am I even going on this thing?" She's so insecure.

"Because Edward can't stand to be away from you for more than five minutes and it'll be fun! You fit in better with a bunch of monsters than you do your own species- can you deny that?" Bella just stares at me and I know I've spoken the truth. "There's no need for you to worry," I assure her.

"I'm a magnet for danger. Of course there's every reason to worry. Don't you think there's going to be other vampires on that ship? Ones that don't have quite the same moral values as you?" Bella asks both Edward and I together.

I wish she'd kept her mouth shut because now Edward will try and get her out of going. I quickly interrupt her tirade. "We'll be there to-"

"Don't tell me you'll be there to protect me! I don't want to ruin your good time with my klutziness or my…humanity. You can't swoop in and save me all the time."

It's quiet for a moment and it's almost like I can read minds now instead of Edward. He's going to tell her that they won't go and she has to- I have plans for us that I really, really don't want to cancel.

"Unless…." Bella says softly, peeking up at Edward through her curtain of mahogany hair.

He scowls. "Not this again. Absolutely not, Bella."

"But why? I can protect myself then and more than that, there won't be a reason for me or anyone else to need to protect me!"

"It takes at least three days to complete the transformation and we're here now. I'm not changing you, you're going on the cruise and I will be there to protect you should you need it. Everytime." The way he said it made it clear that the conversation was over and knowing Bella, she wouldn't just tell Edward to stick a sock in it like she should. I was slightly aggravated with her, but at the same time I could kiss her. Her words spurred Edward on to doing exactly what I wanted- making her go.

I smiled brightly, showing off all my glowing white teeth and clapped my hands quickly together. "Yay!"

~Rosalie~

Everyone sped out of the car to get their things. We were all nearly at the boarding point when I noticed that Bella and Edward hadn't even gotten out of the car. Stupid human. She knows she's going so there's no point in holding my brother or the rest of us up. Finally, he gets out and in a blur of speed - at least a blur to Bella's eyes - he grabs their things, scoops Bella onto his back - so she can't escape, probably - and joins us for the rest of the walk down to the pier. There's a gigantic black ship under the white moon, it's reflection floating calmly in the nearly still water below. I smile in anticipation- not for the cruise, but because I know there will be things on this ship that Bella never dreamed of and with any luck, one of them will eat her by tomorrow morning.

~Damon~

"I can't believe I've never taken one of these before," I comment aloud to no one in particular, looking at all the beautiful ladies passing me by on the Phantom. There are fairies, vampires, a few humans, sirens- which I'll be staying the hell away from. Elena ran off with Saint Stefan as soon as we got here to find their cabin and left me to my own devices. Dangerous thing to do. That's when I saw the blonde…and then the brunette. I smile wickedly to myself as they board. This is so gonna rock.

~Pam~

Oh look, a big black boat that I don't give a shit about.

I look over at Sookie and silently thank Eric for buying all of her attire for the next month. In those little shorts and that bikini top, I can finally see a little of what the fuss is about. Sure, she can shoot light out of her hands and she smells fucking delicious, but this is one of the few times that I've noticed her and decided she looked delicious, too. Apparently, both Bill and Eric agree because they've managed to put themselves in a Sookie sandwich.

There's some leprechaun in a tail coat taking tickets as we board and I have to smile in amusement as Eric hands him our tickets and we cross the threshold. Behind us, all manner of fictional characters and mythical creatures are beginning their ascent up the dock and I just can't bring myself to care.

Sookie and Bill take off to find their sleeping quarters and I just happened to catch the amused smirk on Eric's face as they hurried away. Of course, he booked them separate rooms. I shake my head at him and head off to see if they've got any strippers or fangbangers or fangbanging strippers on this old piece of wood.

~Stefan~

"Nice, huh?" Elena looked around the large candle-lit room at it's mirrored walls, the high ceiling, the bathroom and closet areas arranged to give the maximum amount of space. The last thing her eyes settled on was the large canopy bed covered in a thin layer of soft, black, see through material hung artfully over the fourposter. I was sitting at the edge of that bed letting her take it all in. Her eyes darkened as she agreed that it was, indeed, nice. She walked slowly forward, placed her knees on either side of my hips so that she was straddling me as she put her arms around my neck and began to kiss me. I allowed myself to be pushed backwards onto the pillowy surface of the bed and gave in to her entirely.

~Elena~

Bow chicka wow wow.

~Esme~

"This is incredible," I told Carlisle meaningfully while admiring the bright white cabin we would be living in for the next month. We often went on vacations or little getaways, but when Bella entered Edwards life, everyday was so fraught with peril and uncertainty that we abandoned the tradition temporarily to make sure our family was safe. Neither of us minded, but all the same, it was nice to finally be alone together. I wondered if all the children found their rooms, but Carlisle distracted me from this line of thinking with his gentle hands. "Always worrying about them, aren't you?" he asked while taking my face and bringing it closer to his.

"You're right," I breathed. "I'm sure they're fine," I continued before I kissed him in a way I never would have in front of our adopted vampire children.

~Harry Potter~

"If Voldemort's on this thing, I'm shanking both of you with my wand," I warned Hermione and Ron after we came aboard The Phantom.

It appeared the loading process was nearly done and we'd be on our way over the vast expanse of the ocean soon enough. "I'm fairly certain Voldemort isn't interested in taking a vacation from silently torturing the wizarding community," Hermione pointed out smartly.

Ron, looking almost as terrified as he looks when spiders are involved added, "exactly. Which is why we need to get off this blasted boat. He's probably planning on blowing it to smithereens. What if he's got a load of inferi at the bottom of this bloody ocean and they launch out and pull us under?"

I just nodded my head. "Thanks for that vote of confidence, Ron. I feel much better."

~Eric~

"What a pleasant surprise. Hello, Sookie."

"Why is Bill in a separate room, you jackass?"

"Jackass? Ouch," I reply unruffled.

Sookie stands in that demanding posture of hers. Even before we all knew she was part fairy she acted as if she could take on the whole supernatural community, but throw a little power her way and the girl gets downright cocky. I love it.

"Bill needs a light-tight room, Miss Stackhouse. I simply assumed you'd prefer to see the sun in the mornings rather than being cooped up in a room all alone while Bill rests. Unless you plan on going out while he sleeps and subsequently burning him to ashes. That would be fine by me," I said, giving her a winning smile.

"Don't give me that bullshit. Fix it," she demands before she marches away, passing some dark-haired vampire who eyes her on her way around the corner. I can't really blame him- she does have a nice ass. All the same, I plan to make it clear that she's not available so I give the man a seemingly polite nod and let my fangs descend, exposing them in a toothy grin.

He surprises me by being nearly as unaffected and cocky as I am. He narrows his light blue eyes and walks closer with a smirk on his face as it slowly changes. His eyes become darkened, reddening while the veins around them protrude and become much more pronounced, snaking around underneath his pale skin as his fangs pop out with a snap.

I retract mine with raised eyebrows. "I'm impressed," I acquiesce.

So, what didja think? Ideas, suggestions? What do you think should happen now? What do you want to know more about?

I won't be switching POVs like that throughout the whole thing- just for the beginning. Unless of course you like that and then I'll try to keep doing it. It just gets a little tedious having to go from one perspective to another so quickly. I'll update as quickly as I can.

xxx