A/N: If you missed it, there was a car accident in Monte Carlo last weekend, three blonds in a Bentley Azure(worth $363,000) tried to squeeze past a Mercedes S class (Worth $91,000) and hit it. Backing up, they took out a Ferrari F430 (Worth $186,000) then hit an Aston Martin Rapide ($286,000) and as a cherry on top, hit the nose of a Porsche that was only worth $71,000. Anyhow, the comments left on the Yahoo page about it led to what follows. It is strictly AU and well you can thank the ladies at HH who talked me into writing it.
Chapter One
Demolition Derby Port Charles style
When Jason Quartermaine woke from his coma, he looked around at the people who were claiming to be his family, his fiancee, and the girl who said she was just an old friend and decided that while having life or death medical decisions in his hands didn't bother him, the need in the eyes of those in front of him, did.
Just as he began to feel suffocated a tall elderly woman came to see him. "Yes I knew the other you, no I am not here to tell you how to live your life. I am here to give you this," she said handing him the chain she had dangling from her fingers. "I saw it and knew that it would give you the courage to live your life as you saw fit."
"What is it?"
"A St. Luke's medal," she said then seeing his distaste. "I assure you, if Luke Spencer were to walk into a church it would collapse in on itself. I know what he tried, with you. Don't worry he won't get away with it. Luke will face his own mortality some day. But this Luke is the patron saint of doctors."
Slipping it on, feeling whole for the first time since he woke up, Jason started to thank the woman only for her to smile and leave.
Quickly he realized his best chance at freedom was to change his name and hightail it out of town. But however he had come to care for two women, the young vulnerable woman named Emily, his adopted sister and his grandmother Lila.
While studying medicine at John Hopkins in Baltimore, then at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota, he decided he needed something different, something that would challenge him, so he would join Doctors without Borders, where he would come to respect Dr. Jeff Webber immensely as he got that in a war zone being a doctor meant a whole lot of different things than it did back in the states.
Hearing his usually stoic boss laughing, he asked what was going on?
"My youngest child. When I left her and her sister behind, I thought long and hard about it, but she means everything to me, she is my heart and I would never want her innocence heart to see what we do on a daily basis," he told the younger man. "She is moving to Port Charles, my ex-wife has remarried and she is choosing to send the girls to my stepmother, Audrey."
"Steve Hardy's wife?" asked Jason remembering the older couple from his time recovering in Port Charles even as he felt through his shirt for the St. Luke's medal. "My grandmother is friends with her. I had no idea... is that why you took me on?"
"No, you earned your spot on my team," he said just as a helicopter hovered overhead then landed, followed by several more all carrying patients who needed the healing hands of the two surgeons and the rest of their team.
In Port Charles, Elizabeth was not happy. "Grams, but I really wanted to get a job."
"Elizabeth, you are fifteen. Enjoy life for a bit before taking on work." she scolded then sighed when Sarah came to the hub wearing an altered candy striper uniform. "What happened to your shirt?"
"The collar is lame," she said sniffing in disgust then smiling widely at the handsome prince who was coming her way. When Nicolas Cassadine treated her with his usual cool politeness, Sarah sighed, wondering what it would take to get his attention.
"What about the dance, Grams, can I at least go to the dance with Lucky?" she pleaded.
Frowning a bit, Audrey said. "I don't mind you attending the dance after it might allow you to meet a few of your classmates a bit earlier than you would otherwise, but this is a school Valentine's Dance, Liz."
"Oh, but that's okay, Lucky said he was only asking in the hope we would be friends," she replied not adding that since he was the first boy to ever express any interest in her, she was curious to see where it would go.
That Friday night, she frowned and fidgeted in front of the mirror while Audrey looked on amused. Hearing the doorbell, she looked outside, then said "It's Lucky. I have something I want to give you before you go, let Sarah entertain him for a few moments."
"Grams, I don't want him to think I am a flake, so..." she said as she went to drag the elderly woman towards the stairs, only to be stopped and handed a small light blue box. "Grams, what is this, the box says Tiffany's."
"I know, I learned to read long before your father was even thought of," she said with a smile. "Open it."
Elizabeth's mouth fell open when she saw the small oval necklace with writing on it and what looked like a gem. "Grams, what is this?"
"It's for you. It is a St. Agnes pendant. A long time ago, a friend gave me one, and something told me that you needed this." she said as she put it on. "The ruby stands for fire and being passionate about you're beliefs and is the gemstone of balance."
"Thank you grams." she hugged the woman as they walked down the stairs only to see Lucky putting a corsage on Sarah. "Lucky?"
Turning the youth looked at Liz, then said "Oh, so Sarah was right, you did find another date. Great, see you at the dance."
"What? Wait!" But it was too late, Sarah waved her fingers and with a taunting smirk walked jauntily to the car with Lucky while Audrey stared in shock.
"What on earth? Does your sister really think she is going to get away with this?" she asked fuming. "I... I can't believe she just hijacked your date."
Elizabeth sat down on the sofa, then looked around the great room then at her grams and suddenly gave a quick chuckle. "Grams, I think your necklace is working already. I could have been the one on the date with the gnome."
The older woman looked at her granddaughter and said "Well lucky escape or not, pun intended, both that young man and your sister have a lot to answer for."
"Nah. I am fine. I am only sorry you bought me this necklace for the dance and I didn't go," she said only for Audrey to pick up her phone and make a call. Liz listened with wide eyes, then found herself walking out to the limo and getting in the backseat escorted by the butler/chauffeur.
"I am really glad you decided to come to the Opera with us, Elizabeth." said the very old lady and her husband who took a good look at the young lady and was already plotting to introduce her to his grandson. Hopefully, by the time Elizabeth was old enough, AJ would be finished with his trash blond phase.
Two months later, there was a shootout at Luke's Blues Club, after a night spent at the hospital, Sarah was more than ready to leave town. Her boyfriend and his brother were shot by two men who were after local mobster Sonny Corinthos.
Hearing her grams on the phone, she politely waited for her to finish then asked. "When do I leave for school?"
"You are staying here," said Audrey. "After all, you graduate at the end of the year. Its Elizabeth we are sending to Italy."
"WHAT?" she shrieked. "NO, NO, THAT ISN'T FAIR. I AM THE ELDEST."
"And you are also the reason that Elizabeth was at the club that night. You wanted your sister along so your boyfriend wouldn't notice you flirting with his brother. Too bad for you I noticed. Elizabeth is leaving after spring break for Italy, along with Emily."
Storming away, Sarah swore she would get to go to school in Europe, no matter what. Calling her mother, she was told the number was disconnected and hanging up, she tried her grandparents.
"I am sorry Sarah, but your mother moved to New Zealand a month ago."
Elizabeth and Emily were enjoying school a year later when tragedy struck. Alexis Davis, her cousin's fiancee was killed fleeing her wedding, she was hit by a garbage truck. Emily flew home, then met a handsome young man and chose to remain in Port Charles.
"Elizabeth, you do understand, I think that Juan is the one for me." she pleaded with her best friend to understand. Elizabeth did, she loved Emily but she also knew her best friend was a bit of an airhead who would fall in and out of love many times.
As she settled into her post-secondary schooling, she read the many, many letters from her father, then her brother who had joined him. Now and then they would be peppered with the description of the brilliant young surgeon Jason Morgan.
Curious and more than willing to meet with her family just as she was about to graduate, she was waiting on the tarmac as the large jet arrived from the Middle East.
Frowning when she didn't see her father, nor her brother, she missed seeing the handsome blond watching her. "Excuse me, are you Elizabeth Webber?"
Nodding as she stared at one of the best looking men she had seen in her life, Elizabeth said "Yes."
"I am Jason Morgan. I am sorry but your father was unable to get away and Steven will be joining us in two days," he said. "Would you like me to find another dwelling until then?"
Blinking hard, she could only stare at the incredible color of his eyes. "No, that is fine. May I paint you?"
"Paint me?" he asked amused. "Your family warned me, but do you usually ask people if you can paint them within moments of meeting them?"
"No, well yes," she admitted. "I have gone up to complete strangers and asked them. Of course, my Italian is pretty good, but we get a lot of tourists. I think that a Dutch couple thought I was asking something obscene because they fled with wide eyes. I drew it from memory, maybe I will show it to you someday but-"
"Do you intend to take a breath?" he asked amused.
"Oh yes. Well in a moment, it's just I am working on a painting for my grams of her best friend Lila, and your eyes are the exact same color, fricken weird, isn't it?" she asked.
"Uh, if that is Lila Quartermaine, not so much," he said dryly. "Considering she is my grandmother."
Her eyes went as wide as they could, almost popping out of their sockets. "Wow, are you that Jason? Didn't you have an accident, then you lost your memory and walked away from the nuthouse. You? You are him?"
"I would think so, except what are you talking about the nuthouse?" he asked confused not even noticing that the rest of the other passengers from his flight had left and that they were in a deserted large room with a luggage machine still whirling around, wanting him to take his duffel bag.
"Oh, that's right, you don't remember living there. I was talking about the Q's mansion. I mean from the butler in leather, the rock star/dad/businessman whose fiancee got hit by a garbage truck. To Tracy, then there is just... I guess I should shut up, now that I have insulted your family."
Laughing a bit, then seeing her biting her lip in worry, he looked around, wanting to break the spell she had him under. Seeing his green bag, he grabbed it then said: "What about the house?"
"Uh, yeah, I mean it is nice, I guess if you like living in a place where you need to tie a ball of yarn to the door handle so you can find your way back. I tried that once, Mr. Edward wasn't very amused when it made him trip."
"No, do you mind if I stay at the house you are staying at?" he asked then saw her blushing and took that as a no. "No problem, I can find..."
"NO! You can stay. I am just so sorry but wait, does your family know where you are?" she asked confused. "Because Emily seems to think you are traveling the world, she knows nothing about you being a doctor."
"I know and I hate to ask but could you keep it that way," he asked awkwardly. "I just... I am not close to my family."
At the large house, he whistled and said: "Jeff said it was large."
"It's not that big. I mean it is okay," she said confused because the house was actually about the size of her grams house back home.
"I have been living in a tent with your brother and two other doctors. To me this is large," he said as he asked which bedroom he could use. "Oh, do you know if there is a shop in town where I can rent or buy a motorcycle."
"A real bike or a scooter?" she asked excitedly. When he said a bike, she said "If I help you, can you give me a ride. I have a scooter but am dying to go fast on a real bike."
"A real bike and I will give you a ride, but you can't drive it," he warned. "You are too small for the size I intend to buy."
"Thanks, Jason," she said with a grin that lit up the whole room. "Oh, there is a casserole in the fridge and a case of my brother's favorite beer in the fridge. I have to turn in an assignment for class."
"High school?" he asked as he realized his boss nor his friend had ever said.
"No, art school. I am about to graduate, which was supposed to be a surprise for my father," she said a bit downtrodden.
Jason went to his room, hiding his grin. Her father had said she was graduating, even if he hadn't mentioned what, which was why he wasn't on the jet. He had a surprise all his own for his daughter. Calling Steven he gave him the news then said "I am going to find a bike. What are your plans?"
With a sigh, Steven said "I have to head home after Lizbeth graduates. I uh, was offered a job with the FBI tracking down these chemicals."
"Better you than me," he said with a grin. "I don't play well with others. I am going to take the offer from the hospital in London where I will be treated with the utmost respect and honor."
"Watch that, my dad already has plans to ask you to keep an eye on Lizbeth, he has arranged for a job for her at the British Museum while she paints there."
Jason just laughed, he found the young woman intriguing. He always had. From the moment he had read Jeff's letter. Letters for their unit were so far and few that they frequently shared any news from the states with one another, even if they didn't know the people being described.
He just hadn't expected Elizabeth to talk like she wrote. Showering under a real shower head, using soap, he stayed under the strong spray for almost an hour then reluctantly toweled and got dressed.
Entering the kitchen, he found Elizabeth who from the looks of things was back from her trip, on the phone, mouthing for him to be quiet, then the name Emily. "Oh my god, really? How gross?"
Hanging up, she said, "Want to know what is going on back in Port Charles?"
His lips twitching as she prepped the casserole, then handed him bread to butter while making a salad as she gave him all the news he under normal circumstances wouldn't care about except for the way she was telling it.
"Okay, do you want me to tell you who the people are or just the news?" she asked like she was preparing to take a test.
"I will ask if I don't know. Remember, my grandmother does tell me who people are, plus I do remember some from when I lived there while recuperating."
"Okay, lets' see... uh, my grams said that my sister Sarah who left town to move to New Zealand is back. She is dating that loser Lucky Spencer again. Why she can't see he is out for what he can get who knows." she said with a shrug. "Scott Baldwin asked Laura Spencer to marry him again. She said yes, then ran off with Luke again but this time on her wedding day. Scott went bonkers and his parents committed him."
Watching the wide eyes of the twenty-year-old young woman in front of him, Jason saw them widen again as she said: "Uh, did you know about Ned's fiancee?"
"Alexis, I heard," he said his lips twitching when he saw her about to say the word garbage truck again.
"Uh, okay. Anyhow, Dillon is in Port Charles, Tracy is happy he is there, not so happy he is spending time with Lulu Spencer who was kicked out of yet another boarding school. This time for smoking. For goodness sake, she is barely thirteen."
"Uh your bro- er AJ." she stuttered then finished. "He got married to a woman who was living with Tony Jones. Turns out she is the daughter of Bobbie Spencer. Bobbie is nice, I just don't think she is really a Spencer. I mean she is just too different and actually works."
That had Jason hiding his lips with his hands as she truly looked puzzled. "Anyhow, Carly had a boy, he is AJ's. For some reason she was lying to Tony about the boy and Robin, do you know Robin?" she asked.
"Yes, she was there when I woke up." and a royal pain in his ass. She had had the nerve to try to tell him what to do, how to act and even tried to convince him that it was fate she was with him when he woke up.
He had politely thanked her then suggested she get help dealing with the loss of her ex-fiancee Stone Cates.
"Anyhow, Robin told the truth and Carly HATES her, I mean according to Emily they get into arguments all the time. Now AJ's blackmailed Carly into marrying him so that she will be a good mom but it isn't working out so well. He found her at Sonny Corinthos place, wearing only the mobster's shirt."
Jason wanted to laugh, he had met that Carly while recovering and she had pissed off most of the hospital staff. Even then she had been chasing after Tony Jones and finding out she was Bobbie's daughter made him feel sorry for the woman.
"Anyhow, Sonny's ex-fiancee had been entering at the same time to tell him she was married to some guy from Australia. Do you think he owns sheep and hunts crocodiles?" she asked idly then continued. "It seems like they were well and truly caught."
"AJ has custody of his son and well Carly is now pregnant with Sonny's child. Then he has this air head sister who showed up. She is married to his brother, Ric."
"Huh? Wait, that isn't possible," he said.
"Ric is related through his mother and this sister Courtney through his dad," she said then continued. "Well anyhow, that is when things got really interesting..."
An hour later, Jason who had been completely charmed found himself falling a little in love with the young woman as she showed him her Italy. As they explored not the tourist sites, but a small brick-paved alley, a view from the top of a hill and even a small grubby dock, Jason got that Elizabeth Webber was a very special person indeed.
Watching her graduate with her brother, father and the surprise Jeff had arranged, her grams there, Jason saw Steven frowning as he looked between Elizabeth and him. "Four years, Jason. Give her four years to grow some, to live a life, okay?"
Nodding that he understood, he was soon preparing to move to London. While there, he found himself dating very infrequently as he would end up taking most dates to the British Museum only to discover they didn't measure up to the very lovely work of art growing up before his very eyes.
As Elizabeth aged, she found herself looking at Jason as more than a friend, more than a roommate or a confidant. "Jason, may I ask you a question?"
Looking up from the test results on the patient he was operating on the next day he asked. "About what?"
"You, I mean you are living here with me. Do I cramp your style? I mean it has got to be hard to bring a girl here, do you want me to move out?"
"NO!" he said emphatically then setting his reports down, he said, "I guess I should tell you."
Two hours later, Elizabeth was shell-shocked and staring at him with wonder. Not sure how to get the words out, the thoughts racing through her head she just found two words that fit. "Me too."
"You too?" he asked amused as the woman never without a word was speechless.
"I love you too. I just thought you thought I was too odd or too skinny, I mean I barely have any breasts plus my hair frizzes when it rains and this is England, it rains a lot..." there was only the sound of a quiet surprised moan as Jason pulled her onto his lap and kissed her senseless.
2011
"Elizabeth, when are you going to be here?" asked her very annoyed husband. Hearing her giggling, he said "It isn't funny. You have no idea."
"Oh, I do," she said with another laugh as she looked at her best friend. "Emily and your mother told me."
"I don't know what to do, its like they never saw a man before," he said confused. "I mean if one more woman pretends to be injured in front of me to try and get my attention... today it was a hooker, or at least I think she was a hooker. She pretended to fall down two steps in four-inch heels and an outfit from some sort of sick fairy tale."
At that one, she let out a laugh, drawing the attention of their children. "Jason, be strong. I promise I will be there as soon as possible."
"If you aren't here soon I am going to catch the next jet back to London, do you hear me." he threatened. The three children behind him started giggling and he whirled around. "Elizabeth?"
"Jason?" she tossed out. When he yanked her into his arms, pulling her into an urgent kiss the three kids made kissy faced sounds.
"You know that isn't nice." said the woman with them.
"I know Aunt Emily but they kiss all the time. It's weird." said the oldest. "I mean, it's like the shower thing."
"Shower thing?" asked Emily while smirking at her brother and his wife who were still locked at the lips.
"Yeah, daddy says that they take a shower together to save water, but I timed them, they take twice as long of a shower together than when they shower alone."
"Oh, really?" she asked. "Did you tell your parents about your experiment?"
"No, but I did tell Mr. Graub my science teacher. Mom was a bit short with him when he asked her about it. Told him it was none of his business and that no, she wouldn't let him run the experiment with her. Then dad hit him and then the school fired him then daddy said I couldn't run any more experiments unless I told him first." he informed her while Emily wanted to laugh but didn't dare.
When the couple pulled apart, the tall blond said "We are never being separated by more than a day again. Plus you are not allowed to leave me alone for any reason other than our children until things get back to normal."
Elizabeth returned Jason's hug and then said: "Are you ready to go home, Emily wants to get me filled in on all the latest gossip."
"I can't. I have a meeting with Patrick Drake and his brother Matt. Monica suggested I talk to them, to sooth any ruffled feathers that they might feel after my being appointed the chief of staff." he said.
Emily waited until he had left then told Elizabeth. "Actually Patrick is happy Jason got the job. His wife Robin applied for it and he was worried she might get it. She is who he needs to worry about."
"Wait, I thought Robin was married to Nicolas Cassadine? What happened?" asked a confused Liz.
"Long story is that Nik had an affair with a Courtney Lansing and got her pregnant. His nutty grandmother was a threat so she divorced Lansing and married Nik. Anyhow they have a son Spencer."
"Robin moved on with Dr. Drake?" she asked.
"Oh yeah, he was in town because of a train crash, they met, fell into instant dislike then spent a few years doing the push and pull thing and now are happily married other than her wanting the COS job. They even had a little girl. Anyhow this meeting is about reassuring Jason, your brother is in on it."
"Oh dear," she said looking at her boys then at Emily. "Uh, Steven went to the toy store earlier and made a purchase. One that I think my husband is going to feel the effect of."
Spotting her mother in law who she finally met when Alan and the blond woman came to make peace with Jason after the long-expected death of Lila, she asked her to keep the boys explaining what she feared.
"I keep a spare set of clothes for him in the trunk of my car, he might need them." Groaning she said, "And that car is at our new house."
"Grab him some scrubs," said Emily as she grabbed Steven a set to be helpful. "Could you try and work on getting Steven to consider moving here?"
With a sideways look, Elizabeth said evenly "Em, I love you but you break hearts with a frequency that would worry me if you were dating my brother."
"What are you talking about?" she asked a bit defensively.
"Juan, Zander, Lucky, that cop Cruz, Cooper Barrett, then there was that Ethan Scorpio kid. You even went out with Sonny Corinthos." she recited. "Do you get why I would be worried about my brother."
"I haven't dated anyone since Cooper. I finally figured out that the reason none of them worked, they didn't measure up to my big brother," she said quietly. "Steven does, if he only wanted the COS job, they would give it to him in a heartbeat."
"Steven prefers a lab to admin," Elizabeth said grabbing some scrubs as they hurried to the parking lot in front of the hospital. It was empty because they were repainting the stripes that week so she was certain the super soaker war would be there, at least that was the way her grams was heading to look for several of the younger surgeons.
Sure enough, she saw her brother and a few other young doctors who she was introduced too. When Dr. Julian expressed interest, Patrick whispered to his pal. "Down boy that is your new boss"s wife and they have three kids."
"There is no way that body gave birth to kids," he said wanting to whistle. Seeing Mrs. Hardy coming towards them, he looked around and said "Stiff-necked old lady alert."
"Gentleman." she said "A reminder that I only agreed to this if you all participated in our fundraiser this weekend. All single doctors who offered themselves up as dates, the women will be handing in their preliminary bids this afternoon so I expect you on your best behavior after you act as little boys."
Across town, the various woman of Port Charles were all writing out their bids on the surgeons, all with the same plan. To win the date sure to be offered by the handsome new doctor that was related to the Quartermaines.
Even Carly who had vowed to have nothing to do with that family after her own son had cut her dead was writing down a high five-figure number. Sealing it and heading towards the hospital, she saw Courtney Matthews and knew she had to get there before her ex-sister in law.
Courtney was her only competition with the money to beat her in winning the handsome doctor Morgan.
A collision course was well on its way to happening even as the battle to be known as the melee of the parking lot commenced.
Nurses who were not currently with patients were sticking their heads out the windows, young female doctors were trying to send them to take care of patients to distract them while female patients themselves were eagerly awaiting what was sure to happen on a hot summer day.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth and Emily were sitting on a bench just outside of the soak zone, waiting for what was sure to be a lot of fun.
"Patrick why are we meeting outside?" asked Jason as he exited the main entrance to the hospital but seeing as it was clearly closed, confused him even more.
"This, its sort of a welcome to GH and congratulations on the new job," he said as he removed the soaker from it's hiding place. "Your wife has yours."
Holding his hands up, he said "Wait, I need to give this to my wife. It was a father's day present from the boys."
With that he took off his dress shirt and the tie Jake had given to him along with his watch, then with a wink at his wife, bent down to kiss her even as he took the offered soaker.
Spinning around, he saw that the others had already divested themselves of unnecessary shirts. As the women ooohed and ahhhed, Elizabeth laughed as it became two against the rest when Steven and Jason paired up.
Ten minutes later, the soakers were empty, the male members of the surgical staff were soaked to the bone and laughing hysterically even as they tried to figure out how Morgan had done so well.
"I spent four years in a war zone, gentlemen," he said then went towards his wife who ordered him to get out of his shirt. "Here?"
"Of course here," she said pulling out the towel she had also grabbed.
"Really? I never knew you liked being watched," he said leering as he leaned over and kissed her, careful to not drip on her.
Robin and her cousin Georgie were leaving GH, both with wide eyes at the way the soaked clothes were sticking to the well-formed bodies in front of them.
When Patrick yanked off his shirt, then reached for a towel from the stack his brother had had the sense to bring earlier, she saw Dr. Niles lustful glances and glared at the woman while approaching her husband.
Jason in the meantime was following Elizabeth to the Quartermaine car she was using when she recalled still having his sneakers in it. "Thank god you forgot them at the hospital in London."
Heading to the driver's side to pop the trunk, he removed the clinging now warming t-shirt, wanting to dry in the sun without the shirt sticking to him.
He saw his wife's eyes following a path down his chest and made a point of unsnapping his jeans, letting them slid to his hips. "Jason..."
"Yes, Elizabeth," he said with a knowing grin. "What was it you said, your reason for slowing the move, that you felt odd at the idea of making love at my parent's house? Still feel that way."
With that, he bent down and gave her yet another to the trunk, reaching for the sneakers, he forgot how loose his pants were until he felt them start to slip.
Hearing the sound of a crashing car then another and yet another, he quickly pulled them up over his almost exposed ass and quickly turned around.
Blinking he felt his jaw drop at what he saw. Several very expensive sports cars totally laid to waste. "Oh my god."
"Cam would be wanting a Viking burial for each one," said Elizabeth solemnly then she saw the tall blond get out of the most crumpled vehicle and start shouting at an equally tall blond who shoved her with her rather well-defined arms which were encased in a tight dress that made them rather obvious instead of hiding the flaw.
"Maybe not. Aren't those what were labeled for people with more money than sense or class on his show?" asked Jason as he saw yet another woman being helped out of a car by medical staff.
"Shouldn't you help?" asked Elizabeth.
"No, until my licensing goes through, I can only help under the supervision of Monica who isn't here," he said cheerfully as he watched yet another of the annoying women who had bothered him being escorted into the hospital while their car was being prepared to be towed away.
"Does anyone know what caused the crash?" asked a weary Mac Scorpio as he looked at the mess on the busiest street during rush hour which he saw from looking at his watch was due to start in ten minutes.
"No idea, my guess is one of the blonds who hit each other were texting." said the security guard who then went back inside to deal with what the staff was referring to as a battle of the blonds vs. the others.
"Okay boss, what do you...WOW!" said Detective Falconeri as he really hoped he wasn't seeing what he was. "Uh, who were in the cars?"
Hoping and praying but knowing it was not going to be as his boss began to list who had been involved. "So let me get this straight. Carly Corinthos, Lulu Spencer, Maxie and Brooklynn Ashton are patients."
"Along with your Aunt Kate, Sam McCall, Brenda Jacks, Sarah Spencer and Diane Miller, the DA!" said Mac. Groaning at the last name, he said "Claudia Zachara was behind the wheel as well. Why the hell were all these women on this street at the same time?"
Diane stormed over, furious as she saw the man she was looking for. "You need to arrest those women. They hit my Luigi."
"Luigi?" he asked already rubbing his brow.
"My baby, my poor sweet bambino, and those blond bints hit him. I want them arrested, thrown in jail and shot." she snarled in anger.
"First who is Luigi?" asked Detective Harper worried they had another victim buried underneath the pile of very expensive metal and carbon fiber.
"That is my Luigi." she said pointing at the matte black MASERATI QUATTROPORTE GT "I spent fifteen years selling my soul as a defense attorney so I could afford to buy one of those, do you have any idea how much they are? Try $133,700 before extras. The insurance alone is more expensive than any of those little twits can afford. And whose car were they driving?"
That was a question Mac wanted to answer himself. He had seen that it had been Lulu behind the wheel of the huge robin's egg blue convertible with the all leather white interior but his daughter had been in the passenger seat with Brooklynn Ashton is the rear seat.
"Uh sir, you should read this." said his lead detective as he handed him the leasing agreement. Mac counted his blessings even as he thought that Luke Spencer was a fool to be leasing that car at what it cost for his daughter.
"Sir, the MAYBACH 57/62, according to this, the cost, oh my god, over a half a million dollars," said Dante as he was handed the paperwork. Grateful he hadn't gotten that tight with the blond, he went back to working the accident and found the culprit for why the three women in the ugly thing had been distracted.
The sound of Kate Howard firing Lulu was played loud and clear by the in-car system set up by the rental company. "Oh, dear, who wants to tell Spencer his daughter was on the phone while driving?"
"Harper, Falconari, just give me who drove what," he said then went to talk to the tow truck drivers who had suddenly stopped working. Finding out he had one more car than had been claimed, he popped the glove box and saw the name Courtney Matthews who was nowhere to be seen. Ordering the drivers to tow the gaudy yellow and black vehicle, he then called Nik Cassadine.
The Prince hung up, looked at his wife who had just entered the room. "Where have you been?"
"I told you, running errands," she said airily, not wanting to tell him she had been doing what he had expressly forbidden her from doing. She had to beat Carly and win that date, she just HAD to.
"Would one of them been at General Hospital?" he asked even as he took a drink of his vodka.
"Now why would I go there?" she said worriedly.
"Maybe you might want to know that I just got off the phone with Mac Scorpio, does that jog your memory any?" he asked even as he made plans to contact his divorce attorney and with a wince his insurance company.
"Why would I care if the police commissioner called you?" she asked then sat down with her glass of flavored water, imported all the way from someplace called Saranac just for her.
Gritting his teeth, then smirking when he saw the drink, knowing he had pulled one over on her in regards to how exclusive the water really was, he just said. "Your car was in an accident."
"My car was in an accident?" she parroted. "It must have been stolen."
"So you are saying that thieves, broke into a locked garage, for which you need a key card and stole a car for which you need your fingerprint to start," he asked.
Even Courtney got that it was highly unlikely even as she made plans to locate Mr. Spinelli, he would be able to make it so. "It would have to be."
Nik let it go, he loathed the woman he had ended up with, the car he had refused to buy her that her brother had done so in spite of his protests. Wait... with a smirk, Nik asked. "When you transferred the insurance, did you go to the office?"
"Transfer the insurance, I didn't do that. Sonny took care of that for me."
Nik smirked while leaving the room, laughing all the way to the stables at the bill Sonny was about to get.
That very man was sitting talking to his accountant when Max Giambetti came rushing in. "Boss, we need to talk."
"What is it?" he asked.
"Uh, your sister was in a car accident and she fled the scene." he tossed out there, then with a slightly faster tone added. "Olivia and Claudia too. Er, and Carly was as well driving the car you bought her. Uh, they hit your wife's car too."
Sonny's head came up and looked at the guard then groaned. "Tell me they all aren't in the same space."
"Yes at General Hospital, along with Mrs. Jacks who I saw talking to Mrs. C, sir," he reported while Bernie asked alarmed.
"Mr. Corinthos, please tell me that you made sure that they have their own insurance and that you aren't still paying for both of your mistresses and your wife's."
Sonny turned white under the tan. "No, same with Courtney but I am sure Cassadine did it."
"Doubt it, he didn't want her to have the car in the first place, sir," said Bernie while making a few calls. Grimacing he hung up the phone. "Sir, they were all still in your name, uh, and Ms. McCall was involved too."
AT GH, Monica stepped back when she saw that no one had been actually hurt in the accident. Listening to Kate and her cousin shouted at one another, she got that the dark haired woman was also sleeping with Kate's husband Sonny.
"He bought you a car? Do you really think that is a good reason to fall into bed with my HUSBAND?" She shouted.
Olivia saw her son then went back to the treatment room knowing he was going to be pissed at her as well. Watching out the window as they towed off her red BMW SM, she winced at going back to driving the company sedan that Jax offered his people.
Claudia meanwhile was looking at the blond paper doll and thought that she finally had a way to cripple the marriage so she could take over Sonny's kingdom as she tossed out. "What, you don't share with family? What about ex-wives, or didn't you know that Sonny and Carly heated up the sheets last month. Its how she got her new car."
Kate looked at the dark haired bitch and then at the blond gold digger and said "Wow, I heard you though your box was golden Sonny gave you that piece of classless trash for a roll in the hay. Boy did you get the better bargain out of the deal."
Carly said with a shit eating grin "From the woman driving around in a cheaper car than mine I will take it for what it is, green-eyed jealousy. See I made sure my Porsche Panamera cost more. It cost double. Sonny paid 199, 950 before tax."
Kate looked scornfully at the blond then said "Yup like I have said before, cash over class, that is what you are. Carly a Mercedes S class isn't about the cost, it is understated and a smooth reliable ride, not wanting the whole world to look at you."
Sam meanwhile was watching them arguing, her eyes narrowed in jealousy. The father of her daughter, Adella had bought them all the cars they had wanted, he had forced her to get a Cadillac Escalade which didn't cost half as much as the money the rest had.
Robin who had returned to check on Brenda, sat there next to her best friend wondering why on earth all the trashy women of Port Charles were suddenly so interested in GH.
Seeing her co-worker Sarah who looked distraught, she walked over and asked if she was okay.
"My car was hit and no one seems to care. I can't afford a new one, not with all of Lucky's bills and the lawsuit we still owe from when he was addicted to drugs. What am I going to do?" she said wiping her tears. "As it is I was driving an old beater. A 2004 Ford Escort."
Hugging the blond who she felt bad for, Robin really wanted to tell her to dump the loser but knew she wouldn't listen. Sarah had made a mistake as a teenager, had hurt her sister out of spite to get a date with Lucky and now felt that she deserved nothing better than him even though she had outgrown who she had been.
Brenda who had overheard the whole thing was about to call her husband hoping he could help, but Robin waiting until Sarah had left stopped her. "No, because if you give her a new car, Lucky will find a way to either trade so she is driving his horrible car or to ruin hers. Its how he operates."
"What a jerk," she said. "Why does she stay with him, it's not like she doesn't have other options or that they have kids."
Mac walked into the ER, then considered taking his gun out and shooting someone but instead walked over to check on Brenda. "Are you okay?"
"Fine, but do you know what happened?" she asked.
"I have a good idea but the security guard just called, said they have it all on tape. Seems they used the system on behalf of a female staffer who couldn't catch the water fight so they have a complete video of what happened afterward."
"Who knew our little water fight would have any positive impact. After all, if it wasn't for a member of the staff pervving over us outside, you wouldn't have this evidence," said Patrick as he returned wearing scrubs. "Mind if I am there, I think I know what started this chain reaction?"
Mac agreed, Patrick watched as Robin took her best friend towards the exit, grateful they weren't involved in the fight now about to break it between the various women.
When Sonny got there he found his wife talking to an attorney, his mistresses outed to one another and the mother of his child furious. "Sonny, you bastard. How dare you give them anything they wanted and I have to beg, I mean beg for a car." fumed Sam. "I am the mother of your child, you owe me respect."
"Sam you got that child by milking my sperm after I was drugged. You deserve nothing, my daughter, on the other hand, deserves the safest car I can find. You better remember, she is almost five and then your time is up." he threatened then looking at his wife, said, "It was before I married you, you don't get to offer an opinion."
"Like hell, I don't. You are letting a hooker raise your daughter?" she shouted while Carly heard what was said, put the pieces together then slugged Sam McCall in the mouth starting off the next round.
Claudia by now happy with the reaction she had gotten walked over to Sonny and whispered. "Guess what, I made an anonymous call, they are going to run the VIN numbers on all your cars. Still, want to hold out on me?"
"You bitch." he swore as he started to sweat knowing that the police might find out that at least two of the cars were "REPOSSESSED" vehicles. His wife's Mercedes and his sister's Lamborghini.
"Deal is on the table until midnight tonight," she said walking away knowing she would soon have him back in her bed by hook or by crook.
Mac saw the wicked grin on Patrick's face and said annoyed at all the trouble he was going through for a simple car accident. "You might want to lose the grin, I am not in the mood and we both know that I am not thrilled for you to be the father of Emma."
With an unrepentant grin, he said: "But I am the favorite male guest at Thanksgiving."
"When the other choices are some sad geek my youngest feels the need to drag home like a puppy or some failed artist who paints dead bodies, there isn't much competition." he pointed out glaring at Patrick.
The guard finally sets up the tape to back at the end of the water fight and says. "This is what we have."
Patrick sees Mac was distracted by a phone, call then turns around to tell him he will be right back. "Don't touch anything."
Lifting his finger away from the forward button until after the commissioner was gone, Patrick looked around then hit play. Getting confirmation of what he suspected, he was certain that they would finally be able to get rid of the skanks that had been hanging around the hospital.
Putting the tape back to the right second, his eyes narrowed when he saw Lisa Niles waiting outside and couldn't help wondering what she was up to.
"Okay, let's get this over with," said Mac who then added. "Georgie is waiting to drive Maxie home and needs to speak to you first."
Nodding Patrick gave him a grin then said: "Okay, here is the end of the fight, now watch the lower corner of the screen."
Seeing Jason Quart-er- Morgan almost lose his pants as a result of the water fight, Mac didn't get what a picture of an almost naked Morgan had to do with anything and he made that clear to Patrick who said.
"Okay, here is the play by play. Handsome and very rich Dr. Morgan returns to PC, without lovely wife Elizabeth and their freakishly identical stepping stone children. On his first day here, he works on patient Carly Quartermaine Corinthos, Corinthos Alcazar Corinthos and now back to Benson. She develops heart palpitations."
"So Carly yet again has a crush on another woman's husband," said Mac.
"That afternoon, her rival only in her head Courtney Matthews Lansing Cassadine also meets the handsome physician. She wants to play doctor only to be shut out of gaining an extra lap. After a hard days work, Dr. Morgan goes to Jake's, where he meets the very eager Claudia who wants to help him sink hard balls into some pockets, too bad our very faithful doctor isn't interested."
"So let me get this straight all these women were coming here because of Jason Morgan?" asked a skeptical Mac.
"No, on this oval we have the very eager Audrey Hardy who is planning a fundraiser for GH. A bachelor silent auction. I don't think these ladies believed Dr. Morgan when he told them he wasn't single. My guess, they were rushing to put down bids for the married surgeon."
That did have Mac starting to believe in Patrick's theory. "Wait, what about Diane Miller, Kate Howard, and even Lulu. I don't Lulu was bidding on Morgan."
"No, I doubt she was planning on bidding on him, but I would bet that Maxie was planning on bidding on Matt and was worried about Georgie who is helping with the auction," he said.
Hitting forward, Patrick said "And the number one car, driven by the fleeing Courtney a gaudy yellow with black stripe Lamborghini Murcielago worth a cool quarter of a mill rounds the corner. Our driver is on the phone, most likely lying to her husband about where she is."
"Then coming in the opposite direction, car number two, driven by the always trashy Carly many times Corinthos, a very large Porsche Panamera, which under normal circumstances would be the ugliest car in the accident but for the Maybach hits the smaller Lambo right in the kisser thereby turning the smaller lightweight but more expensive supercar with the engine in the back into an accordion, wonder if that was all an accident, Mac,."
Mac felt his lips twitch but just tried to glare at the brain surgeon.
"Uh oh, coming up on the outside, its Brenda Barrett, the lovely lady who once owned Sonny Corinthos' heart driving a very nice Bentley Mulsanne. Oyster white of course because any other color would be ostentatious on that three hundred thousand dollar tank she was given by her husband."
"Swerving to avoid the accident is Dante Falconeri's mom who is secretly wishing she was the one who married coffee importer Sonny Corinthos. Her red Beemer takes one on the chin while the Bentley is going to be a mechanics dream.
"And what do we have next, here comes Ms. Leslie Lu Spencer rushing to, oops, she takes out the DA's car, a very nice Maserati if I do say so myself," he stated. "And out comes the big guns literally as Courtney somehow manages to use brute strength to open her door. And the other blond exits hers, crossing and now we have Ms. Leslie backing up and taking out her bosses car."
"Now she tries to move forward, fishtailing her rear end and here comes a sideswipe of Sam McCall's large Cadillac, though the half-ton Mayback is the only car here able to take on that armored behemoth." Patrick then winced as he said sadly "And now without using any common sense, Leslie Lu Spencer does what she does best and ruins her sister in laws car. Nice move there, Lulu since she is the only person on the lot who can't afford a new one."
Mac and Patrick were talking about how the insurance companies were going to have a field day when Patrick recalled Joe Smith. "Did you by any chance call Joe?"
Recalling the mechanic who had befriended Drake, Mac said "Of course, so the cars will be on his lot. Let the insurance companies figure out the rest."
"He should have enough money to send his daughter to med school." snickered Patrick as they walked towards the ER where they could still hear the shouting from the various women.
When they heard Claudia shouting at Kate, Mac grimaced but had to agree with the former mob princess, Kate was a bit of a high strung mess. "Ladies, may I have your attention."
Getting nowhere, he was reaching for the intercom when he saw most of the women turn, almost in unison at the door. Turning himself, wondering what could possibly get that much attention, he saw what had their attention.
"Elizabeth, Emily has the kids, we have the bike, here at our disposal. Want my be my wingman?" he asked with a chuckle not noticing how quiet the usually loud room was.
"Depends, do I get to steer?" she asked only to feel his strong arms around her waist and pull her back against his erection. "Well, well it feels like I can get anything I want tonight."
"And just what is it you want, Mrs. Morgan?" he asked as he grinned knowingly at his wife.
"UMMM, let's see. You, me, our new bedroom, lots and lots of chocolate," she said with a smile as she pulled him down into a kiss. "But only after you have taken me on the ride of my life."
"With or without the bike?" he asked quietly then heard an ahem. Looking up, he saw Monica who was looking flushed and said: "Is there something wrong?"
Swallowing her shock, she said "Uh, no. I uh, the boys wanted, do you mind, uh, were you aware that everyone in this room just heard your conversation."
Looking up, Jason saw the slack-jawed response of the various women who had been faking ailments, some men wearing badges and Patrick Drake who was giving him what looked like a high five. "No, but don't they have anything better to do."
Elizabeth made a point of looking every single woman in the eyes, then looked at Jason. "Let's kiss our boys' goodnight, you have a hard night in front of you."
There was bitter jealousy in Sonny's eyes when the couple in front of him exchanged yet another gentle kiss then he watched as the doctor escorted his wife to the elevator. Turning, he saw that most of the women in the room were staring at the man leaving as well.
Only one didn't seem to have a personal interest. That woman, Claudia peaked his attention as he finally decided to accept her offer.
Kate sighed as the happy couple left, she knew that Elizabeth Morgan was from Port Charles, but had had no idea she was married to such a handsome man. Looking between her sister and her husband, she gave yet another unsatisfied sigh then went to call her... no Sonny's insurance agent.
Sam meanwhile was torn from wanting to still chase after the very hot Jason Morgan and getting whatever car she wanted. Calling the insurance agent, she was not happy to get the man's voice mail.
Across town, the man hiding under the desk was shaking as yet another one of Sonny Corinthos women called to tell him they had been in a car accident. The last straw came when the company that handled the DA's policy called to inform them that they were suing one of the drivers since Courtney Cassadine had left the scene thereby making her responsible for the damages.
Whimpering, he went to the safe, counting the money he had, he decided to make a break for it. By midnight the STATE FARM agent was on a jet to Bolivia. Unbeknownst to him, the man from Progressive and the woman from Aetna were also on the jet.
Courtney who had seen all the commercials was upset as she stood next to her car at the impound yard, singing the little jingo every few minutes. "Like a good neighbor, state farm is there... with a three-course dinner."
"Like a good neighbor, state farm is there... with a new car," she said trying again and again until she was hoarse from calling for her agent. Wiping the tears, she stamped her foot and said one last time, clipping out the words. "Like... a... good... neighbor... state... farm... is … there... with an agent."
Carly meanwhile had decided that the small brunette wasn't going to be allowed to stand in the way of getting the man she wanted. Trailing after Jason and Elizabeth, she saw them stop in at the Quartermaine residence. Climbing the fence, she fell into newly manured border trim. Standing, wiping her face, she tiptoed up to the house, where she fell over a rake leaning against the rose bush.
"Stupid roses, stupid rake," she said through her now broken nose. When she couldn't see anything through the closed drapes, she decided to climb the trellis and was almost to the top when the rungs were broken and she fell, landing on her now broken arm.
"Gee, Mother. I guess you must have really pissed off your Mayhem guy." said the blond as he gleefully stood nearby. "I uh, called an ambulance but maybe you should pray to the insurance gods because you are really having a bad day."
Carly saw the door to the ambulance shut while her grown-up son was being hugged by his father and introduced to the man she now wished she had set her bonnet for.
Lulu meanwhile was searching for her father. He had told her that the car was his, now she was learning that he had leased it during a con and her driving it was now part of an ongoing crime and she was going to be held responsible for what he had done. "But-"
"Ms. Spencer, someone owes us the cost of that car, if you can't locate your father, it becomes you." said the agent on the phone.
Lulu hit the off button and was trying to call Met Life, the company that covered her regular car. The agent told her she was on her own since the Maybach hadn't been insured.
As she started to blame Snoopy and Woodstock from the commercials, the man, concerned he was dealing with a lunatic hung up as she demanded to speak to Charles Shultz who was supposed to be in charge.
And across town, at the Jacks residence, Brenda with a straight face was telling her husband that her accident was caused by two squirrels who had lost their nuts arguing about it in the middle of the road.
"Do these nuts, er squirrels have names?" he asked very entertained.
"Courtney and Carly. Next time, I am just going to run them down," she said with a straight face.
Sarah meanwhile had been trying to track her husband down to give him the bad news. His fellow officers had refused to meet her eyes when she had gone to the station looking for him. Leaving, she was about to return home when she realized she had to walk or take a bus.
An hour later, she was walking in her front door when she saw her husband sleeping with Sam McCall draped across him naked. Without even leaving the room, she made the call to the only other person who had any right to be pissed about the day.
"Ms. Miller, are you still willing to help me with my divorce?" she asked. "Here, exhibit A."
With that, she snapped a photo with her camera phone, then walked out. Arriving at her grams, she had a good cry, was told by her brother about time she grew up and faced what a loser Lucky was and then taking his suggestion took a leave of absence and move to Italy.
After all her sister had found her happily ever after in Italy, maybe she would do that same.
Jason and Elizabeth meanwhile were standing at the top of the cliff roads, his arms around her waist, as they looked over the city. "So, a rather uneventful day, wasn't it?"
Looking at him in disbelief, she said: "You do realize you caused that accident."
"I didn't have anything to do with that," he said confused while his wife looked at him amused. "Elizabeth, no, I wasn't responsible for that mess."
"Jason, your low riding jeans caused it. I always told you-you had a butt that could stop traffic, I just didn't know that it would be literally," she said with a smirk.
Pulling her tightly to him, he leaned down and teased her without giving her the wanted kiss. "Say you didn't mean that."
"No, and you know it. Today thanks to your teasing me, Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear committed suicide someplace in the British countryside," she said with a smirk thinking of the host and how he would react to those many vehicles being destroyed.
"I am not responsible for the behavior of others," he said then saw her raised eyebrow. "Well, I am not. The only person I want looking at my naked rear is you."
"Good, because I don't share," she said then tilted her head. "Jason, do you see that?"
Turning he looked at the path. "What am I supposed to see."
"I would have sworn I just saw a green lizard, you know one of those gecko things on his hind legs laughing as he carried a large red umbrella like from the Travelers commercial," she said stunned.
JASON just pulled her into a kiss, while the Gecko returned, then carrying his now open umbrella said: "Well time to leave, my work here is done."
The end.